Vernonia High School - Memolog Yearbook (Vernonia, OR)

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IH II I VI To you, the descendents of Earth Venus the 2nd: Once there was a planet naraed Earth which was completely destroyed in 1990. A small group succeeded in escaping in the first space ship ever built that could reach Venus. To our surprise, all the survivors turned out to be the members of the class of 52 of Vemonia High School in Vernonia, Oregon, plus their families. We were the ones chosen to populate and build the new world. The planet was fertile3 no race had ever lived here, so we named the planet. Earth Venus the 2nd, and set about to form a democratic government. Judy Canova was replaced by Glenda Corll, who with her famous husband, Martin Einstein Tapp, inventor of the floor, that swept, mopped, and waxed itself, made a spectacular production featuring their yodeling chorus composed of their ten children. Norma Elliott, the retired used car dealer, was increasing her fortunes in the role of Little Eva on the Adam and Eve radio serial entitled, Bob's Other Wife. Twinkle Toes Howard worked her way up from Loren's Broadway Chorus line to become the Sarah Bumhardt of the modem era. Charlotte Davis, our contempory of Emily Dickerson, isolated herself from the world in a small villa in Spain, writing poetry about the tragic lost love of her youth. Some of her better known verses are: Chains Around My Heart, The Last Ray, and in the humorous field she is known for her I Tripped Over a Size Twelve Shoe. The outstanding modem artist, our former Laura Steers, has topped Artie Shaw for marriages, as she was recuperating in her Paris studio from the emotional stress of breaking the bonds of her twelfth marriage just before she took off to the new planet. Her latest title is the Baroness of Blockenbraus. Our shy Bettie Davis has become one of the most agressive and famous department store buyers in the United States due to her training in the student store. The Australian Bushman and hunter who owned a 5000 acre crow ranch is none other than David Pittelkau, who in his spare time wrote a boo:: on the art of staying single in 150 easy lessons. Jim Frank with his wife, Beverley Closner, had started a great religious crusade to save the poor souls of the natives in the black heart of Africa. They had completed a 15 year safari with their family of 16 children. It is too bad the earth was destroyed and their work was in vain. Velma Snyder had worked her Way up from a television model to replace Dagmar on her own T. V. show entitled How to Attract Women or Life's Passionate Secrets. Her latest French creations from Paris . ere the scandals of the channels. The dashing romeo of the airwaves, Hollywood news commentator, Jim Sozoff, held the title of Most Eligible Bachelor for a quarter of a century. He was finally captured by alluring Maggie Michener, who for years deceived the public as a child star in such hits as I Was a Cement Mixer but there Wasn't Any Cement. The retired ballet queen, DeeDee Thompson and the Bubble Gum King, Bill Wells, married and ran a Christian Rehabilitation Home for alcoholics and drug addicts. The one black sheep in our class was Alice Davis, who served a ten year prison sentence for counterfeiting three dollar bills. However, she has been rehabilitated and was the warden of Sing Sing. 5

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Gordon Crowston, president; Jim Smejkal, vice-president; Sharon Magoff, sergeant-of-arms; Glenda Cor11, secretary; Deraid Borders, treasurer. In the early part of September 1?U8, 5U rooks were initiated into Vemonia High School and became freshmen. The first class meeting was held to elect class officers. It resulted with Gordon Crowston, president; Loren Mills, vice-president; Alice Davis, secretary; and Mildred Lee was treasurer until Bob Wilder was elected to take her place. We had members on both the Timber line and Memo-log staffs. We also were' honored to have two members join the Letterman Club, We had several members in the operetta which was presented by the music department. Three freshmen girls held minor offices in the Girls League, The two girls chosen to participate in the Pep Club from our class were Edna Fuller and DeLoris Thompson. Our class advisors for our freshmen year was Mr, McEntire and Miss Bennett, Alice Davis and Laura Steers were picked as May Day princesses to represent the freshmen class. Leona Hoehner was candidate for the V. F. W. carnival, and Mary Tapp represented the juniors at the Sweetheart Dance, The Juniors wound up a highly successful year when they presented the junior prom under the theme of Dreamer1s Holiday on April lli in honor of the graduating class of 5l. Glenda Corll and Leona Hoehner were selected as the junior princesses for May Day, A year later the seniors came back as .school leaders under the leadership of Gordon Crowston. Cther class officers were Jim Sraejkal, vice-president; Glenda Corll, secretary; and Deraid Borders, treasurer, Loren Mills was elected to fulfill the office of student body president and was assisted by Martin Tapp, vice-president; Mary Tapp, secretary; Janet Siedelman, treasurer; and Sharon Magoff, business manager. Deraid Borders was fire chief, for the first semester and Jim Smejkal the second semester. The Girls League offices of president and vice- president were held both terms by seniors----Alice Davis, president; DeLoris Thompson, vice-president; Laura Steers, secretary. Alice Davis held the office of Thespian president for the first semester with Mary Tapp, secretary; Barbara Howard, treasurer and Margaret Michener, clerk. The next year as sophomores we elected Loren Mills president of our class. The other officers were Jim Sozoff, vice-president; Jim Smejkal, secretary; DeLoris Thompson, treasurer; and Edna Fuller, sergeant-of-arms. Our class advisors were Mr. Wright and Mr. Hoefs. For cheer leaders the student body chose two members, Edna Fuller and DeLoris Thompson. Bev Closner and Leona Hoehner were picked as Pep Club members. Loren Mills represented the class as a nominee for king of the St. Patricks Dance. Edna Fuller and Doris Hahmeyer were picked as May Day princesses. Sharon Magoff edited the Timberline for the first semester and Margaret Michener the second semester. The girls who helped to fill the staff were Nona Sawyer, business manager; Doris Hahmeyer and DeLoris Thompson, assistant business managers; Darleene Aspinall, assistant copy editor; Alice Davis, sports editor; Glenda Corll, Bill Wells and Janet Siedelman, assistant sports editors; Barbara Howard, fashion editor; Charlotte Davis, exchange editor. The Memclog was edited by Alice Davis, Barbara Howard, assistant editor; Loren Mills, sports editor; Leona Hoehner and DeLoris Thompson, business managers; Sharon Magoff, feature writer; Laura Steers, artist and Norma Elliott, copy reader, and Darleene Aspinall, layout manager. When the junior year rolled around it found Loren Mills as president of the class. His assistants were DeLoris Thompson, vice-president; Leona Hoehner, treasurer; Doris Hahmeyer, secretary; and Jim Smejkal, sergeant-of-arms. DeLoris Thompson was school yell leader, and Doris Hahmeyer and Leona Hoehner were junior members of the Pep Club. A hilarious farce-comedy, Aaron Slick from Punkin Creek, was presented December 1, under the direction of Miss Cook and Mr. Wright. Cast members inluded David Pittelkau, Loren Mills, Rus Goodbura, Alice Davis, Leona Hoehner, Charlotte Davis, DeLoris Thompson and other juniors who did special numbers. First-term Letterman Club officers were headed by Jim Smejkal with Bill Wells, treasurer, and Gordon Crowston, sergeant-of-arms. Second-term started with Deraid Borders as president and Jim Frank, vice-president. In the class play, Daffy Dills, put on March 28 were: Richard Dill-David Pittelkau; Rodney Dill-Martin Tapp; Doris Dill-Doris Hahmeyer; Dud Dill-Bill Wells; Carol Dill-Barbara Howard; Gran-Alice Davis; Elaine Escott-Lecna Hoehner; Maude Maddox-DeLoris Thompson; Aimee Lovewell-Margaret Michener; Pete Norton-Loren Mills; Widow Woggles-Charlotte Davis; Arnica Jukes-Nona Sawyer. Mrs. Bolmeier and Miss Cook directed.

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Larry Brown, the tough homicide captain, had cleaned up New York crime and made his life's ambition to enforce traffic laws and bring back prohibition. His wife, JoAnne Cochran, the famous socialite, who danced the can can on the table tops in the Cocopocabana, was the hand behind the wheel as his devoted wife. Darlene Aspinall Vanderhigh was the owner of the Bodle cannery and Rartwick berry fields in Banks. As a strict advocate of Cretoria she has become a famous model at the House of Nine in portland on the side. Norman Hillsbery was the idol of the bobby soxers, to whom he was known as Jan Vohnson. The skeleton in his closet was pancake makeup for freckles. After retiring he built a chain of grocery stores called the Sureway in competition with Safeway. The most outstanding scientist and brain surgeon in scientific history was Mary Tapp who has gained fame by discovering a method of transplanting the brain of a monkey to a man and vice versa. Her first experiment spent some time at the New York Zoo where he was featured as the most intelligent monkey in the country. The poor monkey gave her a lot of trouble for she didn't know what to with it. Sophisticated, cynical Janet Siedelman has become an avid man hater and has won fame and fortune as a state prosecutor who has never lost a case against a man. Doris Hahmeyer, internationally known spy, was living incognito in Europe while she wrote a suquel to I Can Get It For You Wholesale entitled Anything You Can Buy I Can Buy Cheaper. One member of our class is not present. That is the famous jet and rocket test pilot, Nona Sawyer. She was testing a new type of long distance rocket ship but something went wrong and she is now living on Pluto. Tommy Peters, retired Navy Admiral who bought Society Islands, had 7 mansions and founded 20 universities specializing in repairing automobiles. Jimmy Smejkal, outstanding M. C. of Queen for a Day, It Pays to be Ignorant and Break the Bank, is married to Little Egypt the third, who shimmied and shivied her way to fame. Little Egypt was formerly known as Leona Hoehner. Loopy Larry Gamer and Droopy Deraid Borders, the retired hot rod kings, replaced Jerry Lewis and Dean Martin. Their hidden personalities were finally revealed. How were we to know deep inside Deraid longed to be a groaning romeo. Tne distinguished president of Ivy College is none other than Loren Mills. In Loren s High School days he always said he d like to direct a chorus line, and he told me the other day that's what he did for pin money on the Q. T. Gordon Crowston, our handsome Nordic Olympic Star, took Hopalong Cassidy's place in the movies and played Macbeth on the Broadway stage during the summer. Bob Allen was a jockey at Santa Anita Race Track and raised Cocker Spaniels on the side. I, when on Earth, held a position that will be most startling to all of you classmates. Sasperella Carson became the President of the United States. Yours truly, Sharon Magoff