Vaughan Road Academy - Acta Studentium Yearbook (Toronto, Ontario Canada)

Page 96 text:

Page78 APTA STUDENTIUM ff! ff V!! lfdidonustin. llE5lllDlll6lIlllfDlllilllQ4klll9 HE hardest part of this job of joke-collecting is to write an editorial, especi- all when the Big-Chief-Editor Gough asks that it be funny. Last year ye noble humour editors were overwhelmed when they received two jokes from the students. Imagine my surprise, my joy, my delight, delirium tor what have youj when I received llzrec jokes this year. This may be taken as a sign that Vaughan is stepping out-the depression has gone-PROSPERITY is here. But enough of idle chatter. Now, beloved public, we implore you to read this column, laugh heartily when you see the point of each joke, and if you do not se-e the point, re- member Life is one crazy thing after another, but love is two crazy things after each other. Seriously though, we hope you enjoy the jokes and if you should see your name mentioned, be not offendedg for I say unto ye: Hverily it is a sign of famefl We leave you in the hope that the reading of this column may give to you as much pleasure as the compiling of it gave to us.

Page 95 text:

Xl 'I' X S'1'l'lJl-IX 'l'l l' al Pd U' :- ii T 'E VAUGI-IAN RD. GIRLS TRACK TEAM 1934-5 i 11-03 1 OUR RUGBY TEAM Listen to that song of triumph Echoing throughout the throng, Hearken to those voices singing Praising heroes in their song, There they are! the schools proud players Standing out in hright array, Vaughans great Rughy team in person Takes the honours of the day. For they are the Rughy champions, They have fought like Spartan men, They have used their utmost vigour And have won the cup again. Let us give three cheers for our boys Everyhody shout and scream, Vaughan Road never will forget them V. C. Is star Rughy team!

Page 97 text:

ACTA STUDEXTIYM BROTHERS IN ERROR Pompous Physician tto man plaster- ing defective wallb- The trowel covers up a lot of mistakes, what? lVorkman- Yes, gov-nor-and so do the spade. HF lk ik SHE FIXED HIM UP Maid- While you were gone, ma'am your little Willie swallowed a bug, but don't worry, I had him take some in- sect powder. 41 HF It NEIGHBOURLY LOVE Tramp- The lidy next door 'as give me a piece of 'ome-made cake. Wont you give me something too? Lady- Yes, I'd better give you a digestive tablet. PF Ik lk JUDGED BY THE OUTPUT Toward the end of an exceptionally lengthy speech a political orator made use of the quotation, 'LA man is known by his works, and received from some- one in the audience the rejoiner, Then yours must be gasworksf' lk lk Ili Ted- If a man marries his nrst wife's step-sisters aunt, what relation is he to her? Stan.- I give up. Ted- Her husband! Ha, Ha, etc. IK lk IF Fraser- When I read about these marvellous electrical inventions, it makes me think a little. Mr. Robinson- It's wonderful what electricity can do. lk 111 ll' Long-winded Lecturer- If I've spok- en too long, it's because there is no clock in this place and I've forgotten my watch. Voice from gallery- Theres a cal- endar behind you. IF SK wk Uncle- You boys of to-day want too much money. Why, do you know what I was getting when I married your aunt? Nephew- No, and I'll bet you didn't either. Pa ge T9 NOT THE PERFECT SECRETARY Discovering yet another mistake in his letters, the enraged employer sum- moned his new typist. You came here with good testimoni- als, Miss Brown, he barked, 'land do you mean to tell me you don't know the King's English? Of course, I know it, she replied indignantly, He is, isn't he?'i Pk if lk Kerrf So you gave up singing in the choir. Stephenf Yes, I was absent one Sunday and three people wrote in to say that they were glad the organ had been repaired. HF If lk lst Drunk- I-hic-think I'll buy this hotel. 2nd Drunk- Wait until we've had three more drinks and I'll sell it to you. Ili if lk Scobie is so sensitive that he even closes his eyes in a crowded street-car because he can't bear to see a lady standing. 41 i lk Mary- Do you want to go on a sleighing party? Molly- Sure, who do we slay? X lk lk Louise- Father, why can't I get married. Is it because of my youth? Fatherf Yes, he's hopeless. X 44 41 Man is made of dustfWomen saw- dust, and liked it. IF Pk it Mr. Davidson- Remember young man. I turn off the lights at 10 sharp. johnstonw Fine, could we have some books to read till then? if if HF Northerner- Pretty mild weather you have down here. Southerner- MildI do you call two feet of snow mild? Northerner- Mild, I should say so. man, the snow was so deep in our coun- try last winter the farmers had to jack up the cows to milk them.