Vaughan Road Academy - Acta Studentium Yearbook (Toronto, Ontario Canada)

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ACTA STUDENTIYM Page-19 Qiriirinieg yitecilrfwf lllDllRiIlZlIEo HDQDIIESM Q ., ., WAR CLOUDS ON THE EASTERN HORIZON Like a great wave, Rolling from shore to shore. Steadily mounting to a plunied crest, Then surging downwards to a valley of turmoil. Only to rise again to new and greater heights. And fall again: Yet ever re-emerging, And each time mightier than before, So does the swell of empires Sweep across the earth. And this wave is ever coming from the East: It has been so since Time began. It first rose with the gilded fantastics of China. And fell. Surging westwards through dark gullies of wandering men. To rise again and crown an empire Hewn out of the solid rock. founded on man's ownership of man. Now only the stones remain. Then from the westward and the northward Came a great nation of beauty. Founded on Truth. And Greece was master. Then Rome arose and gave Law unto the world. And died by her own hand. Then men warred, suffered, And died in perplexity Until France emergedg And she was sovereign for a day. When the echo of her fall resounded to the ends of the earth England was left the ruler of the seas. Her vast Dominions prospered From sullen Arctic shores to moon-kissed palm groves, And to the teeming Orient. Might, Power and Majesty her glory, Wealth her strength. VVhat next? The Old Lands are riddled with the ravages of war, And rotted by the slow rot of time That defies progress. The days of great conquests are passed, And war no longer bears the fruits of knowledge As it did in former timesg But they know it not. O Canada Can't thou not lead the way? Yes, and thou shalt. Distant rumbles foretell war in the Eastg But thou shalt look steadfastly to the VVest No matter what the cost, For thou art the nation Chosen to next rule the world. Spenrer Piper

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Page 48 ACTA STUDENTIUM Clllflllilllfklllg Df'ff'l1d!1lZf'S Life at Steak-Tables Turned in Last Zllinute tSpecial to the ACT.-XJ. Mr. Shylock, a Queen St. pawnbroker sued Mr. An- tonio, peanut vendor, for breach of promise to pay him a pound of flesh which he had lent him, because his ships had gone astray. Quite a sensation was added to the proceedings because the judge was really a smart society girl of Belmont St., dressed up as a man. Chris- tian name Portia tsurname withheldl. Mr. Bassanio, a friend of Mr. Antonio, offered Mr. Shylock 6000 Ducats tShakespearian for 6000 Berriesl, but Mr. Shylock replied that he would not take them even if they were each brok- en up into six pieces. Mr. Shylock spoke Shakespearian Yiddish, quite dif- ferent from the modern Queen St, Yid- dish. The tables were turned, in spite of the treacherous trickery of the ter- rible tightwad, by the judicious juris- diction of jarring judge. When the Duke tnot Bessboroughj asked Mr. Shylock why he lead'st this passion of thy cruelty, the latter re- plied that he had a rat in his house, and he had sworn in Sabbath tHebrewj that he would get rid of it. He needed a pound of carrion tripej flesh to kill it. He seemed to dislike Mr. Antonio, often saying nasty things about him. When Mr. Bassanio tried to argue with Mr. Shylock, the question being whether you should let a snake bite you once or twice, Mr. Antonio interrupted by saying, You may as well go bid the main flood bate his usual height, mean- ing Go shut your trap. Mr. Gratiano, who seemed to have a very poor opinion of Mr. Shylock, said to him, Be thou damned, inexorable dog tmodern translation censoredj. A letter was then delivered to the Duke, recommending Miss tor Mrsj Portia, praising her highly, tpretending Sll3lIE5llNllllE5 by mail that she was a male, called Belthazzarj. The writer begged the Duke not to think that Belthazzar tPor- tial was as dumb as he tshej looked. A quotation from the letter, I never saw so young a body with so bald a headf' Miss tmaybe Mrs.J Portia entered the courtroom ,and took the bench. justis Portia proceeded with the cus- tomary interrogation making sure that the prosecutor and defendant each knew their own names. She told Shylock that he must be merciful, saying The quality of mercy droppeth as the gentle rain from Heaven meaning, If you're not merciful youre all wet. Mr. Shylock remained obdurate. Mr. Bassanio then offered him his hands, his heart and head, and after that, if he wanted them-6000 Ducats. But the prosecutor wanted a pound of Mr. Antonio's tummy, and would have nothing but a pound of Mr. Antonio's tummy. He began to call the poor de- fendant names again. A Daniel come to judgment, snorted Shylock sarcas- tically. Then justice Portia again begged Mr. Shylock to be merciful. f'Bid me tear the bond, said she suavely. But the hard-hearted prosecutor replied that he was standing on it. t'Most cheerfully I do beseech the court to give the judgmentf' chirped Mr. Antonio. Why then you must strip to the waist, answered the coy judge, blush- mg. Mr. Shylock then flattered justice Portia by telling her that she didn't look a day older than the last time he saw her. 'fPompeian, Ponds, Cutex and Italian Balm is my secret,'l confided the judge modestly. When asked whether he had any scales and a heart specialist on hand he ans- wered f'Yes and 'tNo.

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Page 50 ACTA STUDENTIUM tContinued from Page 48? Mr. Antonio was then asked if he had anything to say. He replied But little, fand then talked for eighteen linesj. Mr. Bassanio, as a last resort tried to trade in his wife for Antonio. The bench would not permit it. Mr. Gratiano ffruit vendorj said he wished his wife were in heaven. f'Why not Reno, commented the judge. The court then awarded Mr. Shylock a pound of Mr. Antonio's flesh, and the law gave it to him. Justice Portia reminded Mr. Shylock that he was to be careful not to shed any blood when he cut the steak off for it was not provided for in the bond. The prosecutor became confused, for he realized that it would be a rather diffu- cult thing to do. He replied that he would accept three times the value of the bond. It was being handed to him when the judge interrupted by warning Soft CShakespeare for Nix J Therefore prepare to cut off the fleshfl Mr. Shyolck, whimpering with a Win- some whine, begged for the principal, as he did not wish to risk his life by exact- ing the forfeiture. But his petition was refused. f'He had refused it in the open court. Mr. Shylock, f'Then the Devil give him good of itfl fEnglish expurgatedj. He preferred to proceed to perform the operation on Mr. Antonio. But the judge, grabbing hold of Shy- lock, said 'fTarry, Yid, the law is still hanging on to you. She then informed him ,that, much to his surprise, he was trying to take Mr. Antonio's life, which is against the law. Therefore he had to give Antonio half his goods, the other half to the privy cougher Qloudest cough- erj, of the States. Therefore he had better ask the Duke for his life. The Duke replied, before he asked him that he was given his life free of charge. But the disappointed, disgruntled, de- jected, disillusioned dumb-bell, dolefully replied, HYou take my clothes prop: you might as well take my house and all. Kill me, see if I care. justice Portia, What mercy can you render him, Antonio? Mr. Gratiano, Only a halter gratisf' Mr. Antonio replied that he was will- ing to let him have half his belongings to hang himself with, provided that when he died he would become a Christian and leave his entire wealth to Lorenzo and Jessica, his eloped youngsters. The Duke, He shall do this, or else I do decant the pardon which I late pro- nounced herefi Shylock, It's O.K. by me. But I don't feel so good. I need an Aspirin. So long, I'll ring you up laterf, Exit Mr. Shylock. After an exchange of engagement rings, the rest of the occupants of the courtroom departed, got married, and lived happily ever after. Spencer Piper IIID Goop ADVICE Thou art a fool, said his head to his heart. Indeed, the greatest of fools thou art To be led astray by the trick of a dress, By a smiling face or a gleaming tressf' Then Ruth came by and her face was fair, The light gleamed soft on her golden hair, And her lips were blooming a rosy red. Then his heart spoke outg this is what it said, Be a fool while you're young, Soon enough you'l1 be dead.