Vaughan Road Academy - Acta Studentium Yearbook (Toronto, Ontario Canada)

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Page S2 ACTA STUDENTIUM BONERS Tell me where is fancy bred? t'Dites-moi, ou est patisserie?'l Chemin de fer. A fur shirt. La belle dame sans merci. The beautiful lady who never said thank you.- Princeps gregis magnus aries erat. The leader of the Ilock was a large battering-ram. Arma virumque cano. A gun, a man and a dog. Omnia est Pablia, etc. Means how ominous it is that the Romans had so much gall. Rhubarb is a kind of celery gone bloodshot. Mushrooms always grow in damp places and so they look like umbrellas. When you breathe you inspire: when you don't, you expire. The logarithm of a given number is the number of times the given number must be squared in order that the given number may be equal to this number. 41 lk lk I dreamt I died And to Heaven did go. Uwhere did you come from, They wanted to know. Vaughan Road, I answered- My how they did stare! St. Peter said, Welcome, You're the first one from there! lk lk HF Mr. Coumans tdisgustedly testing the knowledge of a certain class upon the shapes of geometrical figuresj slapped a half dollar on the desk and yelled, 'tWhat's that? 4C tin unisonjk Headsf wk if lk Miss Mason- Disantis. how would you punctuate this sentence, 'The girl who is very beautiful smiled at me'? Disantis-l'I'd make a dash after the girl. lil lk ak A woodpecker lit on a freshie's head, And settled down to drill, He bored away for a half a day, And finally broke his bill. With a great show of .... show of . . . . determination . . . . nation the vil- lain picked up a pistol .... picked a pistol .... and showing his teeth shot his enemy .... enemy .... in the back . . . . determination . . . . picked pistol ....showing....shotenemyin.... teeth .... the villain .... showing pistol .... and picked teeth .... his back .... teeth with deter ..,. pistol . . . . villain showing teeth . . . .in . . . . back. Aw heck! Whats the use of trying to read a book in the bus anyway. lk wk Pk Little jack Horner Sat in the corner, Eating his Christmas pie, He put in his thumb, And pulled out a lawnmower And said, l'For crying out loud Who put that in there ! lk HK Sk Woodhouse says it's not the cost of cork tips he objects to but the smell of the cork burning. FF lk lk The only difference between Chap- pell and Gracie Allen is that Gracie is only fooling. 41 IK 14 Mother tto her son after his first day at schooll-'tWell, johnny, how do you like school? johnny: t'Swell, only there was a man at the front of the class who kept on spoiling the fun. Sk lk Ik Dot- Last night I walked through that dark lane, and was I scared, but I walked backward all the way. Isobel- VVhy backwards? Dot-'tDon't be silly. I did that so that I could see if anything was coming behind me. if Sk lk SCHOOL DAY Hamilton asked. Ann refused. Ham- ilton begged. Ann blushed. Hamilton argued. Ann resitated. Hamilton in- sisted. Ann resisted. Hamilton tried. Ann surrendered. So little Hamilton carried Ann's books home from school. 42 lk lk

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ACTA S'1'I'DI5XTII'M Page Sl Waitress: Hawaii, Gentlemen. You must be Hungaryf' First Customer- Yes, Siam, and we can't Rumania long, either. Venice lunch ready? Waitress- I'll Russia to a table. What will you Havana? Second Customer- Anything at all, but can't jamaica little speed? Waitress- I don't think we can Fiji that fast, but Alaska. First Customer-- Never mind asking anyone. just put a Cuba sugar in our java. Waitress- Sweden it yourself. I'm only here to Serviaf' Second Customer- Denmark our bill and call the Bosphorus. He'll probably Kanya. I don't Bolivia know who I am. Waitress- No, and I don't Caribean. You fellows sure Armenia. Boss- Samoa your wisecracks, is it? Whats got India? You think maybe this arguing Alps business? Both Customerswf'Canada noise. Spain in the neck. We Moscow now. IK IF lk They stood beneath the mistletoe, He knew not what to do, For he was only five feet tall. And she was six foot two. if IK lk Principal- Did you deliver that mes- sage to the senator? Oliphant tnow a full grown messen- geri- Sure, but I don't think he can read it. Principal-f'What do you mean? Why can't read it? Oliphant-- 'Cause he's blind-four times he asked me where my hat was and it was on my head all the time. ik X lk So you've known the prisoner for ten years. Do you think he is the kind of a man who would steal this money? Witness-I'Well-er-how must was it? 1 if 1? St. Peter- VVho is there? Voice lVithout- It is I. St. Peter- Go away. we don 't want any more school teachers. Ruth O.- I like a man with a past, the more interesting the past, the better I like him. jean R.- I like a man with a future, the more interesting the future, the bet- ter I like him. Ruth W.- I like a man with a pres- ent, the more expensive the present, the better I like him. 15 IF if Sniitlifu You say you fziilm-il in tleriiiaiil XYliy I c'aii't lllltIl'l'Slfil.ll4l it. -Ioiies- Neither can I. that's why I failed. 41 X if Tennis-A struggle between two play- ers each equally intent on making the opponent drop dead through running to retrieve a bounding ball forty feet to one side of him with no other instrument than a wooden frame enclosing the in- sides of a cat. lk HF lk Definition of lacnossefRunning a mile to hit somebody over the head with a snowshoe. X lk if Betty B.4 Oh! look at the horizon ahead of us. Tatton- Don't get nervous, I won't hit it. lk S if Mr. Barton, after a lesson on snow- As you walk along the road on a cold winter day, what do we see on every hand? Kay Cockin- Gloves lk if if Ashes to ashes Dust to dust If Mr. Beale don't get you, Mr. Vyvyan must. 14 4 lk Smith- I've been reading some sta- tistics here-every time I breathe a man dies. Punsh-l'Gosh, man, why don't you use Listerinef' lk if lk Hadler- What is the most nervous thing next to a woman? jacques- Me, next to a woman. X lk if

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