Vassar College - Vassarion Yearbook (Poughkeepsie, NY)

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IN WHICH I CARICATURIZE MY DQMINANT FEATURES HAVE never tried to write an autobiography before. You see, it's not one of the subjects in the king- dom where I live so I'm not very well acquainted with its personality. But I've been told to try, there- fore bear with me. First of all, I live in a big big castle which was supposed to look like a palace called the Tzzilerief, but which somehow developed I a few distinct idiosyncrasies of its own. It has lots C1411 Mfffffff-' LUCIAN GHER and lots of rooms and you'll find me in almost all of them. I wouldn't really need so much space for myself ifl were just an ordinary person, but there are so many sides to my indefatigable personality that I have to divide into three's and catalogue my traits in alley-ways. I even have to give myself lots of different names to keep from getting confused when people refer to my various capacities. For in- stance, whenever I take a deep breath and stumble over it so the rest of my little selves will come to order and behave properly, I am called 'ISneeze . That means I'm boss and I have to get myself together and spread all over the third floor in pajamas to hear myself talk. It's loads of fun, and I feel very important, but I like to be called Betty or jane 1 Hanormjf Clair Member: RICHARD A. E. BROOKS 25

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beautiful and when he is looking his best he wears a in daisy in his cap. Most people envy my oldest brother because he doesn't seem to have anything to do except curl up behind Screen Romances and sing all night to the moon: Ch prom, prom, promise me a glass of b-b-b-bromoseltzer! Now there's only me left to talk aboutg l'm getting old and a little dwarf called Worry has dug great ditches across myforehead. l hide myself away in the long empty drawers of the vocational bureau and I get very lonesome waiting for someone to slip the magic ring on my finger which will set me free. 9 O

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or Peggy just as well, 'cause then I can act natural and nobody cares. In most respects I'm just like my brothers. I'm very class conscious, I worry about my A B QC's and D'sD, and I flirt with a Major, Qwho doesn't wear brass buttons and is very tedious sometimes because he puts so much emphasis on the mindj I-Ie'd be fun if it weren't for the fact that he insists upon my writing him a fifty-page letter of recommendation before he'll apply for the desired Port Morten . . . DENISE HYDE, DOROTHY BOYD, I-I1LDEGARDE Wisn, PATRICIA Cuoss, LYDIA HASTINGS, CAROL ROTHSCHILD. certificateg and what's Worse, he has a funny notion that one of those black- govvned chaperones ought to pass an approval on it. There are moments in our relation ship when I feel like throwing him overboard or at least dropping a note to him in the unstamped saying: Deezr Tberezef, Left not fpoil eoefjfrhing by being too comprehensive. Fezitb ezlone oem move mozezztezim. Youre, tS'enio1'. 26