Vandergrift High School - Spectator Yearbook (Vandergrift, PA)

Page 20 text:

18 THE SPECTATOR “You didn’t know who I was this morning!” “No? Who were you?” K. K. Many 100'A Americans seem to be making an unpatriotic choice between the flag and the flagon. —Selected. K. K. One of the great surprises (and disappointments) of a football game is that the cheer-leaders never seem to get injured. K. K. Now that the flapper is disappearing and takes shorts skirts and bobbed hair with her, we must look for something else on which, to blame everything. K. K. Of course the United States would fall into decay without Lady Diana, Clemenceau, Andy Gump, and others to tell us how to run it. K. K. Why should America be especially selected as the stamping-ground for every wildeyed orator who has a new (?) idea. K. K. The Congress of Vienna was one of the most unfortunate happenings which ever afflicted humanity. The monocle was introduced at this gathering. K. K. In Raratonga, the most popular of the Cook Islands, a cocoanut tree is planted for each year of each child’s life until old enough to plant for himself. K. K. If every inhabitant of America should plant one tree, or raise one flower, or place one statue, per year, what a Utopia America would become. K. Iv. A boil in the kettle is worth two on the neck. K. K. “There will one day spring from the brain of science a machine or force so terrible in its potentialities, so absolutely terrifying, that even the man, the fighter, who will brave torture and death in order to inflict it, will be appalled, and so will abandon war forever”, said Thomas A Edison in a recent interview. K. K. Edison should know, but in our opinion there is no terror demoralizing enough to stop man in the heat of battle. We believe that not fear, nor legislation, nor persuasion, nor anything but good old fashioned love of fellow-man will ever stop war and its consequences. K. K. A fearless judge takes speeders to the hospitals and the morgues to view victims of auto carelessness. If a few of these speeders were in asylums for the mentally unsound, the world would benefit. K. K. We’re away ahead of a Monarchy. They have no choice of their rulers. We can take any one of two. K. K. Color-blindness is not uncommon, but blue and yellow are two colors no one is blind to, say scientists. Did traffic cops of failing eyesight have anything to do with the making of the 1023 auto licenses blue and gold. K. K. More men are color-blind than women. Men aren’t used to handling delicate shades of paint. K. K There are dry goods clerks who wish more women were color-blind. K. Iv. The teacher was illustrating words ending with “ous”. He gave as examples: venturous—full of venture; hazardous—full of hazard; then he asked the pupils to give some. Willie’s hand sought the rarefied regions and upon being recognized answered triumphantly “Pious, full of pie”. K. K. Germany wants to mark the allies. K. K. Some of the big guns were silenced on that November II, but others at once began work on their memoirs.

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THE SPECTATOR 17 A doughboy and his dough are soon parted. K.K. Eat, drink and be merry, for tomorrow your bootlegger may die (or get pinched). K.K. If you have a bit of news—send it in, Or a joke that will amuse—send it in, A story that is true—an incident that’s new We want to hear from you—send it in, Don’t wait a month to do it—send it in, Don’t let ’em beat you to it—send it in, Something serious or a jest—just Whichever you like best— The Ed. will do the rest—send it in. K. K. Little daubs of powder, Little spots of paint, Make a lovely lady. Look like what she ain’t. K. K. Rita—“I told dad that Robert was the mark of all my affection.” Georgia—“And what did dad do then?” Rita—“He toed the mark.” —Selected. K. K. Willie says—“A man is a person split half-way up and who walks on the split half.” K.K. It’s rude for a man to fall asleep when his wife is talking—but he has to sleep sometime. K.K. A man in the hills of Ky. Is said by his friends to be ly., When he gets in a feud, If he has a large breud Of sons who can shoot and are ply-sel. “And now, Johnny,” said the teacher, “Can you tell me what is raised in Mexico?” “Aw, go on,” replied the bright boy. “I know what you want me to say, but my ma told me I shouldn’t talk rough.” K. K. It was about five o’clock of a cold, wintry morning in France when a troop train pulled into the station. A disconsolat-aoughboy leaned out the window and accosted an M. P. “What in heck is the name of this dirty, dinkey, low-down, blinkety-blankety hole in hades?” he demanded. “That’s near enough, buddy,” replied the dejected arm-band. “That’s near enough—Let her go at that.” K.K. Rastus—“Keep yo head down, big boy, hyah comes a German division.” Solomon (peeking out)—“Division! Dat ain’t no division. Dat’s multumplication!” K. K. They were talking about tall men, and each upheld the honor of his division. “Why,” said Private Pink, “There’s a man in our division who lights his cigarettes from lamp posts.” “Huh,” retorted Slim Sloan, “That’s nuthin’. We got a corporal so tall he has to kneel down to put his hands in his pants pockets.” K. K. 0 wad some power the giftie gie ’em To see their legs as others see ’em It wad frae mony a short shikts free ’em And foolish notion That toothpicks and piano legs Inspire devotion. K. K. A man is not old until he quits looking. (Continued on Page 20)

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LEST WE FORGET HIS edition of the “Spectator” has been dedicated to those members of our High School, who, a few years ago, sacrificed their homes, their loved ones, some of them, even their lives to champion a just cause; that of prevent-ing an autocratic tyrant from getting the control of practically the whole world and reducing flouiishing countries to servility. We have seen how the gray-clad warriors of this monarch went down to a humiliating defeat before our khaki doughboys. Again right had proven its supremacy over might. Time passed, and the great transports began to arrive with their human cargoes. The “Yanks” had come home! The honor and pra:se due them was given lavishly— but, after the exeitment had subsided, the old routine of affairs was gradually restored and the services of the doughboys were forgotten. Forgotten by those who in sheer gratitude should have restored the positions of the young men, held before the war. Forgotten by those whose homes were protected from the treatment accorded Belgian and French homes and villages in the dark days of 1914-15. Let us not forget entirely. Remembering these seivices, especially of our High School boys, we have dedicated the Patriotic Issue of the “Spectator” to him, who by his optimism, his courage, his sacrifice, won the endearment and friendship of the world—The American Doughboy. —H. S. SCHULER, ’23. DAD RIENDS, do you think we are giving Dad a show Mother is all right, and I am not saying she’s not, but, all the sob-sisters and rising young authors use up a surprising amount of paper telling us so. Stop and think! How many articles have you read in the last year written about Dad Who is it that provided a home, food, and clothing, and the money for good times? Why, Dad! Boys, who got your first roller skates, and sled against Mother’s wish? Dad, wasn’t it? Who was it that got you your first gun and taught you how to use it, took you hunting and showed you the best plan for business, taught you how to interpret the actions of your dog? Nine times out of ten, it was Dad. Who was it, that, when you ran short of spending money, slipped you extra and cautioned you not to tell Mother? Sh! She might find out! Somehow when Dad puts a hand on your shoulder and speaks, you want to do as he says; that same touch helps you more