Vandergrift High School - Spectator Yearbook (Vandergrift, PA)

Text from Pages 1 - 56 of the 1923 volume:

I LIBERTY 1 • T • . •. ■■■■■■- ■ ■ ■ 1 ——— -- T • • 5 • • � | • • T • • V • • • Jr t Restaurant i| Confectionery • rtm t Good Things to Eat H M H tZJ 3 M O -3 H O W THE SPECTATOR 4. •:• + • GILCHRIST DRUG CO. Pipeless Furnaces — Gas Stoves £ “The Brightest Spot in Town” £ f Satisfaction Guaranteed 1 £ E. S. Aurandt £ Plumbing, Heating and Electric T Work and Fixtures. PRICES RIGHT— t QUALITY ALWAYS PRESCRIPTION PHARMACIST ALWAYS IN CHARGE EVERYTHING IN DRUGS, SUNDRIES, ETC. We make our Own Ice Cream J. G. RAMER DRY GOODS AND NOTIONS Millinery and Ladies’ Ready-to-Wear 231 Longfellow Street Phone 440 A ALTMAN’S BETTER SHOES We are daily receiving our early Spring goods. Ladies’ Utz Dunn, Duttenhoffer and Arch Aid. In the new suedes, patent leathers, Vici Kids and Calfskin, Black and Brown. Men’s Florshrim, Marshall and Beale Pratt Shoes and Oxfords, latest styles. £ Come in and look these over. ALTMANS 117 Grant Ave. Vandergrift, Pa. KRELL’S HY-GRADE SHOES WEAR BEST—COST LESS 116 Grant Ave. Vandergrift, Pa. Bell Phone 388-J THE SPECTATOR Always insist on having Pasteurized Milk, costs no more than raw milk. We sell Pasteurized milk exclusively. I VANDERGRIFT PURE I MILK CO. E. E. BIRAM GROCERIES 168 Columbia Ave. Phone 247 W. A. McGEARY REAL ESTATE AND INSURANCE 108 Grant Ave. Phone 48 NOTARY PUBLIC—IN AT ALL TIMES 310 Lowell St. Phone 539 ” I FRANK CERASO DEALER IN IMPORTED AND DOMESTIC GROCERIES Vandergrift, Pa. Notary Public Foreign Exchange and Steamship Agent ITALIAN OLIVE OIL A SPECIALTY A. E. CRAWFORD 215 Longfellow St. Candy, Tobacco, Cigars and Groceries I DOC’S PLACE t 4 THE SPECTATOR Howard E. Wagle —BUICK DEALER— Hancock and Garfield Avenues Vandergrift, Pa. LET US SHOW YOU You will be pleased with the service we give you and with our Goods and Prices. We take as great care in filling orders as you would yourself if you were to come to our store in person. Give us a chance to serve you. DOVERSPIKK’S GROCERY AND DRY GOODS Phone 729 129 Longfellow Always Wear HYDE PARK GLOVES THE YS ATISFY THE HYDE PARK GLOVE CO. 184-86-88 Lincoln Ave. Vandergrift, Pa. THE SPECTATOR 6 | Phone 760 A ; Milton E. Uncadher :: W. E. Donahey REAL ESTATE t HARDWARE AND I HOUSEHOLD SUPPLIES ; and INSURANCE JL • ; •; 309 Longfellow Street ; • • VANDERGRIFT, PA. Notary Public WATSON’S ICE CREAM i ; ]■ T EVERYTHING ” I FACTORY • f X Pre-War Prices : in 1 Wholesale and Retail : • : DRY GOODS AND GROCERIES $ t Quart 40c ; • • • ESKIMO PIES j J. I. ALLEN X Special Prices for Large Orders • . i The Diamond Store ” X Madison Ave. Phone 189 ; ; •' T � mwrrm nwm,%nn nT,m rm,v% TTTTTTTT’rTTT-m-A rT-rr-t t :: I Cold Weather Is Here. : L [ JOHN F. BAIR | f Let Us Do Your Washing : [ JUSTICE OF THE PEACE GOOD SERVICE f Real Estate and Insurance, Houses to “ FAIR PRICES jl Let, Rents Collected £ Cor. Longfellow and Wallace Streets. f Vandergrift Laundry Co. r I! t E. J. Walcott, Mgr. | Phone B4A1 j ] f !; JTIr irairii to tljosr aiubrnta of Vanfcrgnft ISyyb £ rljool mlto anawmb % rail of iljrtr rountry : : : : B. %£ . hotter Stall DIED John Wherry Le Roy Felker ARMY Donald Hubert Bladen Avard Jack Brinker Thomas Ceraso Clair Clepper Wallace F. Cowen Henry Fletcher Guy France Thomas George Arthur H. Gumbert Samuel Henderson Arthur Hilty William Hodge Ralph Hodil George A. Hunger Floyd Mohney Russel Mohney Louis Paul Morris Merle Frank R. McGregor John R. McMahon George Owens Joseph B.- Patton Neil Patton Pearl Preister Judson L. Pi’Ugh Harold Richey Eugene Schall Allen Walton Snyder John L. Townsend Lawrence H. Walthour L. A. Ward Karl Watt Rudolph Wherry Guy Alvin Whitacre LeRoy Clarence Yerty Yerty NAVY Harold Raymond Blair Ralph Mclntire Kingsley Hunger John McKim William Lock Charles St. Clair (Efltttenia DEDICATION.................................6 HONOR ROLL.................................7 IN FLANDERS FIELDS........................10 LITERARY— Vive L’Amerique ........ 11 A Story I Have Never Forgotten . . . . .12 Treasures ......... 13 The Adventures of Bill Smith . . . . .14 KRAZY KWILT...............................17 EDITORIAL— Lest We Forget ........ 19 Dad.....................................19 Talents ......... 20 HOUSEHOLD.............21 “HELLO”...............22 PERFECTION DE LUXE . . . . 22 SKETCHES— Life of Abraham Lincoln . 23 Diary of a Little Boy , , . 24 “Betsy” Ross , . . . 25 Cats ..... . , . 26 The Origin of Valentine’s Day . . . . 26 Dogs ..... . 27 “Courage” .... • • . 27 EXCHANGE DEPARTMENT . . . 28 POETRY— Three American Heroes . , . . 29 Brothers .... . , . . 29 Mud , , . . 30 Just Laugh .... . . . 30 Washington’s Birthday . . . 30 A Happy New Year . . . . 30 The Latin Triangle . . . 31 The Dream of a Yankee , . . . . 31 A Teacher’s Favorite Song • • . 31 FOOTBALL TEAM PICTURE . • • . 32 SPORTS . 33 CLASS NOTES .... . 36 SILLY SAUCE .... • • . 39 THE SPECTATOR Vol. 5 FEBRUARY, 1923 No. 2 Published during the school term by students of Vandergrift High School. EDITORIAL STAFF EDITOR-IN-CHIEF................................. Harold Schuler ASSOCIATE EDITOR ................... Joseph Breig LITERARY EDITOR..................... Madaline Shaffer TREASURER....................................... Audley Rearick BUSINESS MANAGER ..................... Louis Gartzman ADVERTISING MANAGER .................. Robert Bowers PUBLICITY MANAGER..................... John Radcliffe FACULTY ADVISOR ................................. Edith Steel ASSISTANT EDITORS SCHOOL NOTES.........................................Margaret Loring SENIOR NOTES................................. Margaret Cline JUNIOR NOTES ............................... Elizabeth Smith SOPHOMORE NOTES ....................... Viola Knappenberger FRESHMAN NOTES ........................... Henrietta Wolford ART EDITORS ................................f Sarah Frederic Robert McClure ATHLETICS.............................................Harriet Cuthbert EXCHANGES ................................... Edna Klugh SILLY SAUCE.............................................Naomi Snyder ALUMNI NOTES............................... Nellie Wiggins We wish to thank Miss Hammill and the girls who type our “Spectator” work. 3ht SUanfirra In Flanders fields the poppies blow Between the crosses, row on row That mark our place, and in the sky, The larks, still bravely singing, fly, Scarce heard amid the guns below. We are the dead; short days ago We lived, felt dawn, saw sunset glow, Loved and were loved, and now we lie In Flanders fields. Take up our quarrel with the foe! To you from failing hands we throw The torch; be yours to hold it high! If ye break faith with us who die We shall not sleep, though poppies grow In Flanders fields. —John McRae. T H E SPECTATOR 11 VIVE L’AMERIQUE 1VE L’AMERIQUE! Vive! Vive! Vive! This from a small French lad, who sat at the side of the road at Genneville, as the “Soldats de l’Amerique” passed by on their way to Chateau-Thierry. Attracted by the tone of the lad’s voice, Sergeant Patrick O’Reilly stepped from the ranks to look at him. The boy might have been ten years old, but he hardly looked eight. Out of a pale face, crowned by a wavy mop of chestnut brown hair, shone two bright, almost black eyes. His right leg hung distorted and useless from the hip down. In a gust of sentiment, Pat touched the lad’s head and ran on wtih tears in his eyes, to regain his place in line. The lad sat transfixed with joy. He, Perrichou Rousseau, orphan, child of the gutter, starveling had been patted on the head by an American soldier. One of the— “Move along, dog!” a harsh voice broke in on his reverie, “Sapristi, must I use my club,” and the “gendarme” aimed a kick at my Perrichou, who nimbly avoided it, and limped away swiftly, leaning on an old barrel stave. “Milie pardon,” he muttered, but foremost in his mind was the image of the soldier. He would follow the troops, he might find his “Soldat”. Placing two fingers to his lips he sent out a shrill, plaintive whistle, once, twice. Around the corner, three blocks away, bounded a furry shape, and racing up the street towards him it came, a large, curly, black haired “mongrel” dog. “Allons, Pierre!” cried Perrichou shrilly. The dog redoubled his speed. As soon as he reached him, Perrichou clambered nimbly upon its back. Turning its head in the direction of the fast disappearing militia, he kicked the dogs flanks. “Giddap!” he cried. “Two minutes yet,” whispered O’Reilly, now Captain O’Reilly, if you please. The word was whispered down the line—A bugle sounded. “Over the top, me hearties,” cried the redoubtable Irishman, “And the best of the day to ye.” The great advance was on The troops had been moved up, and brought to the temporary hospital, where Perrichou, now a favorite of the whole company, went hurriedly with Pierre. His eyes were searching every cot. 12 THE SPECTATOR “Where’s my captain, was his constant query. “Where is O’Reilly?” suddenly put in a newcomer, “He’s not here!” A great light shone in Perrichou’s eyes. “I go,” said he, “to find my captain.” He did. Lying in a clump of low, dense underbrush almost hidden from sight, was O’Reilly, moaning with pain from grenade wounds in both legs, and a slight scalp wound. Placing him on the back of his canine follower, Perrichou half staggered, half crawled back to camp with him, where he collapsed. A short time afterwards, the Armistice was signed, and in the first load of wounded veterans to arrive at New York were Perrichou and his captain. Two months later, the two stepped out of the Allegheny Hospital entry in Pittsburgh. Pat, who had adopted the waif, who was to be known as Perry O’Reilly was well and happy again. “Now, what do you say, Perry?” “VIVE L’AMERIQUE”, grinned Perry. —A. R. M., ’23. A STORY I HAVE NEVER FORGOTTEN ERE you are Miss Ruth. Take it up to Mrs. Wilson’s tonight as she wants it for the ball tomorrow. And I’ve promised her!” Emmy Ruth folded the delicate fabric away in its cardboard box, wrapped the tissue paper around it, and left the shop. Her heart was burning. Two hundred dollars for a ball dress, and she was going to the Sons of St. Patrick’s dance that night in the cheap second-hand thing she had scrimped and saved to purchase. And Pat would be there. What would Pat think of her? She knew the dress looked ridiculous on her, and Pat had almost told her he loved her. On the way uptown an awful temptation assailed her. Mrs. Wilson did not want her dress until the next night. Emmy Ruth could wear it herself; it fitted her to perfection; and she could deliver it early the following morning. And she did so want to look well at the dance, and win Patrick’s admiration! Almost unconsciously her feet took her out of the elevated at her own station, instead of staying on and waiting till she reached Mrs. Wilson’s home. In another minute she was flying down the stairs and was on her way to her boarding house. “I’ll do it! It doesn’t do any harm. And I’ve a right to look decent for once,” she muttered to herself. The Sons of St. Patrick’s dance was under the patronage of a number of west side social leaders, who were interested in civic reform. The “Sons” was a new organization with an “uplift” tendency. Emmy put on the dress and surveyed herself in the cracked mirror of her hall bed- room. She hardly knew the radiant girl who looked back at her. Originally, she had wavered between wearing the dress and just putting it on, but there was no irresolution now. Hastily slipping her old coat over it, she went out and took the car down town. The dance hall was crowded. Upon a sort of dais at the end of the hall, near the musicians, the society leaders were congregated. Emmy saw Pat in a moment. He stared at her in amazed admiration. “Emmy” he muttered drawing her arm through his. “Say we’ll take the prize for the best fox-trotters for sure.” “Are there prizes, Pat?” glowed Emmy. “Sure, fifty berries for you and me. Come in handy, won’t it, little girl?” Emmy could hardly believe Pat had said that—“little girl”. “And we’d best win that fifty,” said Pat. “That’ll come in handy for you and me. Why Emmy, there ain’t a girl in the room’s a jack on you for looks.” “Come on!” They circled the dance hall, watched by the judges. €t was as Pat had said—Nobody looked like Emmy and certainly no one danced like Pat. At the interval the prize winners names were read out. Pat had entered Emmy and they won, not the first, but the second prize, of twenty-five dollars. When they went up to the dais to receive it, however, Emmy nearly fainted with horror, for there delivering the prizes, as large as life, stood Mrs. Wilson, and Mrs. Wilson was staring first at the girl’s face then at her gown, and then at her face again. Emmy wished she might sink through the floor. “What’s the matter darlin’t?” asked Pat, THE SPECTATOR 13 as he saw her home. “Too hot for you in there?” “I-I guess that must be it, Pat. I feel out of sorts like,” grieved Emmy. That night the awful vision of arrest passed before her eyes. The delicate pearl grey dress was quite unmistakable. She cried into her pillow bitterly, she would lose Pat now, go to jail, unless she could induce Mrs. Wilson to forgive her. At half-past eight she rang the bell of the great brown stone house and timidly asked if she could see Mrs. Wilson. A moment later that lady swept into the hall. Please, Madame, it’s your dress from Madame Stahl’s,” faltered Emmy. “Why, you’re the girl that won the prize last night,” exlaimed the other. “Madame, I-I want to beg—” “You tell Madame Stahl I’ve decided to take the other dress and I’ll be obliged if she will send it up by twelve o’clock,” said Mrs. Wilson. “She told me that this was an exclusive model, and I saw one like it yesterday. Emmy raised her head and suddenly seemed to see a gleam of humor in Mrs. Wilson’s eyes. Was it there? Or was it imagination? “Oh, yes I’ll tell her, Madame,” she panted, and hurried out of the house with her parcel. —ANNA STIPHANIC, ’24. TREASURES HEN I come to think of it, today, three years ago, Hen Deal returned home from overseas. I think I’ll tell you a little of his history. Just about one month after war was declared, Hen enlisted. Having some training before going to camp, he was made a lieutenant and as this officer he spent his entire time overseas. He was decorated twice for his bravery, the first time by the French and the second time by the Americans. On November 1, 1918, just ten days before the Armistice was signed, he was wounded and removed to a hospital. Here he recovered with no ill effects and returned home sometime in June, 1919. But now I must hurry over and see what he is doing. There he is at the door! “Hello, Hen, how are you?” “Fine, how’s yourself?” “I don’t feel so bad myself but what have you got laying all over the floor here, it looks like an army camp.” “Well, it’s this way George, today being the anniversary of my homecoming from Europe, I was just going over my war relics. Say, I’ll tell you what I’ll do; I’ll go over everything I have here and tell you about them from beginning to end.” “This is just what I want. Let’s have it.” “George, I wouldn’t take barrels of money for this trash, as it appears to you—for they are treasurers to me; treasurers that will be dear to me all the rest of my life. I will begin my story with this small Bible which my dear mother gave to me when I left for camp It was a sad beginning and I felt quite sure that I was leaving home and friends forever. The only thing I have as a remembrance of camp is this ring which I picked up in the mess hall one day, evidently lost by one of the boys. I wore it all the time I was “over there”. Every time I pick this little medicine bottle up it makes me laugh, as it was given to me the second day on the ship. The ship was a floating hospital, as about half of us were seasick that day. “We were seven days going across and believe me I was glad when I stepped on land again. We were hurried into trains and rode about 150 miles to a French Camp, where we stayed for three weeks. At last the order came to move. We were carried from the camp to the trenches in trucks in the dead of night. Everybody was given orders to keep all lights out, but it being moonlight the trucks could be easily discerned. Everything went well for half an hour, and then came the first scare. Some Geiman, about a thousand feet above our heads, let drive with a couple of bombs. Our truck was hit and I was thrown about thirty feet but escaped uninjured. The truck was quickly removed and the dead carried back; the driver and the man sitting beside him having been killed. We piled on the next truck and rode safely to the trenches. The only remembrance I have of that trip is this piece of the broken windshield. “In the trenches I collected many relics. This German Medal of Honor, I snatched from a captured German officer while he was passing through the trenches. On my first trip over the top we captured two German trenches with little loss. Here I 14 THE SPECTATOR obtained this tiny revolver which can be held in the hand undetected. “My first real escape from death happened when I was sent over the top with three other boys to learn how the enemy were behaving themselves and to see what we could do for them. We received our necessary information and when returning they gave us a few shots. On exploding, a piece of shrapnel hit about two inches from my head, striking a German helmet and pushing it in the ground about a foot. I hurriedly picked the piece up and put it in my pocket and that is what you are handling now. “Many months I went through this life, during which time I collected enough medals to make that belt you see. A German officer’s helmet, and a gas mask of German make were the largest articles, but one of the most valuable of these relics was this pair of German binoculars which are of the very best make. Just focus it and look at that flag down the street and see how large it appears. “At last on November 1, 1918, I went over the top for the last time. It was raining ‘knives and forks’ and the night was inky black. It was ideal for an attack. But unfortunately, the enemy thought so too and we met them on the center of the field, in deadly combat. We were too close to use guns so we used our bayonets. I got my first man but as I was preparing to strike again I felt the sharp sting of cold steel as it pierced my back. A deadly fear seized me and I became cold as that blade hit my back. Then I knew no more. I became conscious in the hospital. A beautiful American nurse was sitting at my bedside and she told me how the Americans had been victorious in the battle in which I was wounded. I recovered after lying about six weeks with nothing to do but keep still. I tell you it w s an awful bore. That little French pocketbook was given to me by the nurse with whom I had become quite friendly while in the hospital. I lost all trace of her till last week when I received a letter from her asking me to go up and see her.” “And I’ll bet you’ll go too. I wondered why you were acting so queer for the past few days. But you never mentioned anything about these medals which were given to you.” “Well-er-er—” “Yes, I understand you don’t like to speak of your own bravery, but Hen, I congratulate you on your 100% Americanism.” “Thank you, George, but I just look at it this way; that I did my duty like millions of other boys. But these relics, as I said before, will always be treasures dear to me.” “But say, Hen, I should think that you would consider that little American nurse the dearest treasure you obtained—er—of course you hadn’t said anything about obtaining her, but-a-you do care for her, don’t you?” “Well, I-I suppose I do, and she did say something about-er-er-a-feeling lonesome and I-ah-well, I am lonesome myself and-a—” “I know how it is, Hen. We all fall sooner or later.” “Well, Hen, I surely did have a delightful afternoon but I won’t be satisfied until you have secured the best little token of the Great War that anyone could desire.” All Hen said was, “Wait and see.” —KENNETH STROSTER, ’23. THE ADVENTURES OF BILL SMITH PREFACE ILL Smith, explorer, adventurer, and traveler, needs no introduction. I only wish to assure the reader that the happenings here recorded, as related to me by Bill Smith himself, are absolutely authentic, and are vouched for by the highest authorities. I have been especially appointed by Mr. Smith to record his adventures, and am the sole and only one so appointed. All others are frauds. Therefore, my reader, when you would doubt, remember I beg of you, that “there are more things in heaven and on earth than are dreamed of in thy philosophy.” And be it also mentioned here that Mr. Smith has personally assured me that the so-called “Baron Munchausen” who has created a flurry lately by his accounts of travels in distant lands is an imposter, has never been outside the state where he was born, and is no Baron, but a simple country dweller with an ingrowing imagination which he is turning to good financ’al account. —The Author. T HK SPEC T ATOR 15 Note: These adventures are given as nearly as possible just as related to me by Mr. Smith, since I believe that no literary flights, however exquisite, could surpass in effect the clearness and simple accuracy which marked Mr. Smith’s narratives. If these accounts have merit, it lies alone in their scrupulous truth and honesty. —The Author. ADVENTURE I. “Necessity is the mother of invention,” and indeed I, William Smith, have often had occasion to note the truth of this adage. When I say this I have in mind an incident which occurred during my first Polar expedition. I had been for several days on the trail, accompanied only by one Eskimo and my dogs. When we halted that night, I found, to my surprise and consternation, that we had not one match with which to light a fire, and as we could not keep moving forever, a blaze was an absolute necessity. However, emergencies such as these never “stump” me for long as I am naturally of an optimistic and resourceful nature and so 1 soon bethought myself of the sunglass which I always carried with me on my tours. But, after a moment of sane deliberation, I soon saw that this method was impossible, since the northern sun at that time rose for so short an interval, and gave so little heat, that it would never suffice to ignite the most inflammable material. At this junctui'e I felt myself barren of further ideas, so, being always a’ded in such dilemmas by smoking my pipe, I filled my meenschaum, and was feeling in my pockets for a match when I remembered myself. “Indeed,” thought I angrily, “either I am getting old or absent-minded!” But now I set to work in earnest to find some method by which I might obtain fire, since my inconvenience was now increased tenfold, due to my being unable to smoke, “To die,” thought I, “is inevitable and not unendurable—but to be without smokes—!” I could not harbor the idea. At this point I bethought myself of an experience in Africa, where I had seen a savage create fire by rubbing two sticks together. But I knew that this required years of practice, in order to acquire the necessary speed of vibration. I knew I had not that speed, and that I must devise some means to make the necessary vibration. At this moment a happy thought struck me, and in a moment I was putting it into execu- tion. First I took my portable phonograph, and putting a jazz recoi'd into place prepared it for playing. Then I piled plenty of fire wood at hand, and, all being now ready, I took two dry sticks, stripped them of their warm coats of bark, started the phonograph, and held the sticks tightly together. In a moment, due to their having no bark to keep them warm, they began to shiver convulsively from the cold, and, this condition being aggravated by the jazz music from the phonograph, which caused them to shimmy quite shamelessly, the two sticks were soon vibrating at an extraordinary rate of speed, and before long, due to the heat of friction caused by their rubbing, the sticks were blazing merrily. With due care these little blazes were nursed into larger ones, and soon my Eskimo and myself were enjoying a meal in the grateful warmth of a roaring fire, while the phonograph ground out merrily the strains of “Keep the Home Fires Burning.” ADVENTURE II. Recently a certain passage in “The Adventures of Baron Munchausen” was called to my attention as being especially unbelievable. In this passage the self-styled “Baron” asserts that during his (imaginary) adventures in the far north it sometimes became so cold that sounds—especially human speech—were frozen. This, be it said, is the accurate truth, but where this imposter found the information I am at loss to say. If my “Memoirs” were at press or had been printed I should suppose that in them he had obtained data, but (or so I thought) they have been kept a profound secret, and I would have thought them safe from prying eyes. But, it appears, this colossal fraud has means of securing access to places where he is not wanted, so to end controversy, and in order that all may judge between my account and his, I hereby publish a true account of my discovery and use of this phenomenon, and of how my life was saved by it. This incident occurred during my third northern expedition in the winter of 1909. We had erected a comfortable cabin in a slight declivity, and this constituted our headquarters. We had constructed it of logs, chinked it as well as possible, and then had carried water from a nearby lake, throwing it over the cabin until a sollo sheet of ice covered it, giving us as cozy a dwelling as could be desired. 16 THE SPECTATOR From this cabin I set out one day with two companions for a reconnoitering tour taking along only a homing pigeon with which to communicate with my companions in case of emergency. I intended to be gone but a few hours, so took no provisions. We proceeded swiftly, noting the signs of wild life about us, the vegetation, the ice formation; in fact everything which later might be of benefit to the scientists who awaited the result of our expedition. We had gone possibly five miles, when, without the slightest warning a terrific storm arose, accompanied by sleet and hail of the worst sort. Within five minutes we had lost our bearings entirely. It steadily grew colder, and when the chill began to penetrate my clothing, I knew that something must be done, and that quickly, lest we be frozen. I thought of the pigeon, and fumbled in my coat for paper and pencil, to discover, to my horror, that I had neither. A moments reflection, however, convinced me that it could make no difference, for in this cold a bare hand would stiffen and freeze before a word could be written. I knew that another plan must be adopted. Two heads are better than one, so I turned and shouted to my companions. Not one sound reached them, for the words, frozen dropped to the ground—I stooped and picked up several, examining them curiously. They weighed practically nothing, and suddenly I saw the way out of our difficulty. I found that when words were spok- en quickly, they froze together, and issued in a continuous stream from the mouth, much like the tape from a stock ticker. I took our pigeon from the case (we fed him continually on red-hot whiskey, to prevent his freezing) and fastened several words to his leg. Then I began talking as fast as possible, hooking the first word of the string over one of those previously fastened, where it immediately froze. Then I let the pigeon go, and as he climbed kept the string of words coming, with the result that as he flew, a line of conversation joined us. After a lapse of fifteen minutes, during which I talked continuously, the line slackened, by which I knew that the pigeon had reached his cote. We then simply followed the line, rolling it up as we went, and within an hour we were safely at the cabin, where we put in an enjoyable time listening to my oration as I fed it into the fire and thawed the words out. I had given Lincoln’s Gettysburg Address, Patrick Henry’s “Liberty or Death”, and Macbeth’s Soliloquy, and was half through “Casey at the Bat” when the line reached the cabin. We found the words to average in length, about a foot per syllable, from which data mathematical students may compute the exact distance which we had gone from the cabin. Within the near futux-e I hope to publish a scientific treatise concerning my observations of this truly remarkable phenomenon. —JOSEPH A. BREIG. (To be continued) AN INDIAN LEGEND N the moons of long ago the little Indian children had to find their way alone from their mothers’ arms to the Land of Sleep. Sometime they grew frightened at the noises of the night and lost their way in the darkness. They missed the daylight sounds— singing birds, whispering leaves, and running water; and they stumbled over roots and stones. The Great Spirit was sad because the smallest children could not find their way to the Land of Sleep. So he went to the Moon Mother and asked her for some tiny stars. When she granted his request, he took the stars down from the Sky Road that leads to Mother Earth, and at the end of the journey he gave wings to each little star. After that, when the little Indian children went from their mothers’ arms to the Land of Sleep the Stars—With Wings flew ahead of them to show them the way. They made a happy company on the road to the Land of Sleep. The little Stars— with Wings led the way, and the drowsy children ofllowed while high up in the sky the Moon Mother kept loving watch. One night when the company had reached the Land of Sleep one little child was missing. All the Stars-with-Wings went back to find him. The sun had gone to sleep behind the high mountains and the music of the day had stopped—only the West Wind softly singing an evening song. After a long search they found the child. He was lying fast asleep, snug and warm under a tall tree. Lying close by on the ground was a little Star-with-Wings. The Indian children loved the Stars-with-Wings better after this. At twilight you may see in the meadows the Star-with-Wings or the Will-of-the-Wisp guiding some drowsy little child to the Land of Sleep.-LILLIAN BLACK, ’23. THE SPECTATOR 17 A doughboy and his dough are soon parted. K.K. Eat, drink and be merry, for tomorrow your bootlegger may die (or get pinched). K.K. If you have a bit of news—send it in, Or a joke that will amuse—send it in, A story that is true—an incident that’s new We want to hear from you—send it in, Don’t wait a month to do it—send it in, Don’t let ’em beat you to it—send it in, Something serious or a jest—just Whichever you like best— The Ed. will do the rest—send it in. K. K. Little daubs of powder, Little spots of paint, Make a lovely lady. Look like what she ain’t. K. K. Rita—“I told dad that Robert was the mark of all my affection.” Georgia—“And what did dad do then?” Rita—“He toed the mark.” —Selected. K. K. Willie says—“A man is a person split half-way up and who walks on the split half.” K.K. It’s rude for a man to fall asleep when his wife is talking—but he has to sleep sometime. K.K. A man in the hills of Ky. Is said by his friends to be ly., When he gets in a feud, If he has a large breud Of sons who can shoot and are ply-sel. “And now, Johnny,” said the teacher, “Can you tell me what is raised in Mexico?” “Aw, go on,” replied the bright boy. “I know what you want me to say, but my ma told me I shouldn’t talk rough.” K. K. It was about five o’clock of a cold, wintry morning in France when a troop train pulled into the station. A disconsolat-aoughboy leaned out the window and accosted an M. P. “What in heck is the name of this dirty, dinkey, low-down, blinkety-blankety hole in hades?” he demanded. “That’s near enough, buddy,” replied the dejected arm-band. “That’s near enough—Let her go at that.” K.K. Rastus—“Keep yo head down, big boy, hyah comes a German division.” Solomon (peeking out)—“Division! Dat ain’t no division. Dat’s multumplication!” K. K. They were talking about tall men, and each upheld the honor of his division. “Why,” said Private Pink, “There’s a man in our division who lights his cigarettes from lamp posts.” “Huh,” retorted Slim Sloan, “That’s nuthin’. We got a corporal so tall he has to kneel down to put his hands in his pants pockets.” K. K. 0 wad some power the giftie gie ’em To see their legs as others see ’em It wad frae mony a short shikts free ’em And foolish notion That toothpicks and piano legs Inspire devotion. K. K. A man is not old until he quits looking. (Continued on Page 20) 18 THE SPECTATOR “You didn’t know who I was this morning!” “No? Who were you?” K. K. Many 100'A Americans seem to be making an unpatriotic choice between the flag and the flagon. —Selected. K. K. One of the great surprises (and disappointments) of a football game is that the cheer-leaders never seem to get injured. K. K. Now that the flapper is disappearing and takes shorts skirts and bobbed hair with her, we must look for something else on which, to blame everything. K. K. Of course the United States would fall into decay without Lady Diana, Clemenceau, Andy Gump, and others to tell us how to run it. K. K. Why should America be especially selected as the stamping-ground for every wildeyed orator who has a new (?) idea. K. K. The Congress of Vienna was one of the most unfortunate happenings which ever afflicted humanity. The monocle was introduced at this gathering. K. K. In Raratonga, the most popular of the Cook Islands, a cocoanut tree is planted for each year of each child’s life until old enough to plant for himself. K. K. If every inhabitant of America should plant one tree, or raise one flower, or place one statue, per year, what a Utopia America would become. K. Iv. A boil in the kettle is worth two on the neck. K. K. “There will one day spring from the brain of science a machine or force so terrible in its potentialities, so absolutely terrifying, that even the man, the fighter, who will brave torture and death in order to inflict it, will be appalled, and so will abandon war forever”, said Thomas A Edison in a recent interview. K. K. Edison should know, but in our opinion there is no terror demoralizing enough to stop man in the heat of battle. We believe that not fear, nor legislation, nor persuasion, nor anything but good old fashioned love of fellow-man will ever stop war and its consequences. K. K. A fearless judge takes speeders to the hospitals and the morgues to view victims of auto carelessness. If a few of these speeders were in asylums for the mentally unsound, the world would benefit. K. K. We’re away ahead of a Monarchy. They have no choice of their rulers. We can take any one of two. K. K. Color-blindness is not uncommon, but blue and yellow are two colors no one is blind to, say scientists. Did traffic cops of failing eyesight have anything to do with the making of the 1023 auto licenses blue and gold. K. K. More men are color-blind than women. Men aren’t used to handling delicate shades of paint. K. K There are dry goods clerks who wish more women were color-blind. K. Iv. The teacher was illustrating words ending with “ous”. He gave as examples: venturous—full of venture; hazardous—full of hazard; then he asked the pupils to give some. Willie’s hand sought the rarefied regions and upon being recognized answered triumphantly “Pious, full of pie”. K. K. Germany wants to mark the allies. K. K. Some of the big guns were silenced on that November II, but others at once began work on their memoirs. LEST WE FORGET HIS edition of the “Spectator” has been dedicated to those members of our High School, who, a few years ago, sacrificed their homes, their loved ones, some of them, even their lives to champion a just cause; that of prevent-ing an autocratic tyrant from getting the control of practically the whole world and reducing flouiishing countries to servility. We have seen how the gray-clad warriors of this monarch went down to a humiliating defeat before our khaki doughboys. Again right had proven its supremacy over might. Time passed, and the great transports began to arrive with their human cargoes. The “Yanks” had come home! The honor and pra:se due them was given lavishly— but, after the exeitment had subsided, the old routine of affairs was gradually restored and the services of the doughboys were forgotten. Forgotten by those who in sheer gratitude should have restored the positions of the young men, held before the war. Forgotten by those whose homes were protected from the treatment accorded Belgian and French homes and villages in the dark days of 1914-15. Let us not forget entirely. Remembering these seivices, especially of our High School boys, we have dedicated the Patriotic Issue of the “Spectator” to him, who by his optimism, his courage, his sacrifice, won the endearment and friendship of the world—The American Doughboy. —H. S. SCHULER, ’23. DAD RIENDS, do you think we are giving Dad a show Mother is all right, and I am not saying she’s not, but, all the sob-sisters and rising young authors use up a surprising amount of paper telling us so. Stop and think! How many articles have you read in the last year written about Dad Who is it that provided a home, food, and clothing, and the money for good times? Why, Dad! Boys, who got your first roller skates, and sled against Mother’s wish? Dad, wasn’t it? Who was it that got you your first gun and taught you how to use it, took you hunting and showed you the best plan for business, taught you how to interpret the actions of your dog? Nine times out of ten, it was Dad. Who was it, that, when you ran short of spending money, slipped you extra and cautioned you not to tell Mother? Sh! She might find out! Somehow when Dad puts a hand on your shoulder and speaks, you want to do as he says; that same touch helps you more 20 THE SPECTATOR when you are sick than Mum “fussing” over you for an hour. So, don’t you think, while the rest are all shouting for Mother, we had just better rise up on our toes and give Three Rousing Cheers for DAD. —H. F. B., ’25. “TALENTS” A LL persons do not have the same talent, or talents. If this should be, they would be of little benefit to their fellow-men. A man may be a great painter, and give much to art, yet he may be able to do little of anything else. The business man will look in wonder at the picture the artist has painted, and how it could ever be painted is a mystery to him —and yet the artist could not solve big business problems or handle affairs in the commercial world. Some particular person may be able to speak foreign languages fluently, yet know very little of history, mathematics, or music. Then again, thei'e are those persons who are capable of doing many different things, more talents having been given to them than to some one else. They are esteemed by all, and the person of few talents will wonder how they are able to do so much. But it is not the amount that counts. It is how we use what we do have that counts. No more is required than that we do not waste what we are given. Also, each talent is as honorable as any other if used rightly. The seamstress who makes a gown for some noted person, perhaps a prima donna who sings so beautifully, is just as great in her art as the person who wears the gown. The man who is a common laborer and works hard to send to school a son or daughter or brother or sister, is just as good as he or she who gains a reputation as a result of his labor and sacrifice. We all should find out what our talent is. If it is a talent to write, then write If it is a talent for music, then be a musician. If it is a talent for business, then be a good business man. If our talent is not found, and we do that which is not ours to do, a true success will not be obtained. Neither will we receive much satisfaction from our life. Let us draw from this then that we should find out what our talent is, develop and use it, and learn to be satisfied with what has been given to us, and where we are placed to do our work. KRAZY KWILT (Continued from Page 17) You can cure a red by giving him a fortune, but there’s nothing you can do for a yellow. —Selected. K. K. The Irish will have won when they are one. K. K. Germany is France’s mark. K. K. Well, it’s nice of turkey not to demand an indemnity of the allies. —Selected. K. K. They are always appropriating public funds in Illinois to find out who has. Four years ago Kaiser Bill’s memoirs would not have lasted ten minutes in America. Funny, ain’t it? K. K. The Turks are the soul of honor. When they break a solemn pledge they are always willing to make two new ones to replace it. K. K. What sounds worse than a phonograph almost run down? A pedestrian who is almost run down. 21 THE SPECTATOR HOUSEHOLD She measured out the butter with a very solemn air, The milk and sugar also and took the very greatest care, To count the eggs correctly, And to add a little bit of baking powder, Which you know beginners oft omit. Then she stirred it all together, And baked it full an hour, But she never quite forgave herself For leaving out the flour. ROYAL FANS Mix and sift one-half cup flour and two tablespoons brown sugar. Wash three tablespoons butter and work into first mixture, using tips of fingers. Roll to one-third inch in thickness, shape with a fluted round cutter five inches in diameter. Cut each piece in quarters and crease with the dull edge of a case knife to represent folds of a fan. Brush over with yolk of egg diluted with three-fourths teaspoon water. Bake in a slow oven. NUT MACAROONS Ingredients: White 1 egg 1 cup brown sugar 1 cup pecan nut meats % teaspoon salt Beat white of egg until stiff and add gradually, while beating constantly, sugar. Fold in nut meats, finely chopped and sprinkled with salt. Drop from tip of spoon, one inch apart, on a buttered sheet, and bake in a moderate oven until delicately browned. HONEY SALAD DRESSING Ingredients: 3 egg yolks % cupful honey 1 tablespoonful sugar Juice of 3 lemons % cupful whipped cream Beat the egg yolks and add the honey, sugar, and lemon-juice. Cook in a double boiler until the mixture thickens. Chill. W'hen cold, fold in the whipped cream and serve with any tart fruit salad. 22 THE SPECTATOR “HELLO” “Hello” doesn’t last for a minute, A clear little, queer little word But, say, there’s a lot of cheer in it; It's like the first chirp of a bird In spring when the hill tops are greening Right after the cold and the snow, I think when it comes to real meaning There isn’t a word like “Hello!” It’s full of good cheer; when you say it, It breaths the real soul of good will; You don’t have to wait till you weigh it; You just sent it forth; while a chill Of gloom and despair flies before it As leaves in the Autumn wind blow. So here’s to the old greeting, I store it With luck, cheer and gladness “Hello!” It’s a wonderful word when you hear it From some real old friend who is true, As a needle to pole is, or near it It’s great when I hear it from you, It has all the joy and splendour The song of the birds, I know, It's cheery, it’s jolly, it’s tender That old friend to friend greeting “Hello!” —Selected. PERFEC TION HE LUXE O, those fair ones Eyes of blue— (Remodeled by A beauty crew.) Hair of gold— (Well paid for) Pearly teeth— (Dentist’s lore!) Grace itself Winningly shy— (Beauty comes Extremely high.) Rosy cheeks Sans fault, sans taint— (Use La France Peerless Paint.) Matchless lips uby hue— (Use La France Good Rouge, too.) Trim small ankles Slim waist too— (Reduce to music Paul La Rue.) Slim and slender Willow’s mate— (Daily dozen Take off weight.) Wholly perfect Lovely sight— (If nature don’t help Money might.) —J. A. BREIG. THE SPECTATOR 23 LIFE OF ABRAHAM LINCOLN INCOLN was born on February 12, 1809, in a log cabin in Kentucky. The cabin was a ramshackle affair and the clearing in which it was built was rank with weeds; the acre or so of corn that stretched away to the woods was choked with high grass and brush. Abraham’s father was a carpenter but he neglected his trade to wander about the woods with his gun in his hand and his dog at his heels. To Mrs. Lincoln was left almost the entire care of the little clearing and to the wonderful energy and cheerfulness of this woman, Lincoln owes his life. “God bless my mother,” he said in later years. “All that I am or ever hope to be, I owe to her.” When a log school house was opened in the neighboorhood, it was Mrs. Lincoln who wanted her children to go and learn the alphabet and master the spelling words. Mr. Lincoln grumbled, because he did not think the children needed the learning but the mother had her way. The children, a son and daughter, attended school as long as it was open. Mrs. Lincoln often said to her children; “You must learn to read and write and get knowledge so when you grow up you will be wise and good.” Lincoln’s father was of a wandering disposition, and when Abraham or “Abe” was seven years old, he moved his family to Indiana, then almost a wilderness. In the autumn they selected a spot for their new farm and the father, mother and son all set to work with axes in their hands to make a clearing for their new home. Winter was almost upon them and they built a “halfface camp” of logs. In the autumn of 1818 a strange sickness broke out over the countryside and people and cattle were killed by the dozens. Mrs. Lincoln was one of the persons who had this terrible disease. Mr. Lincoln and Abraham had to make Mrs. Lincoln’s coffin when she died. It was now very dismal around the cabin when Mr. Lincoln went to the woods and left the children alone in the cabin. It was a happy day when Mr. Lincoln brought home a new mother. The children did not like her at first but she soon had the cabin refurnished and the children grew to like her. When Abraham was eleven years old a schoolhouse was built not far from their cabin and he attended it and there learned to love books. He was needed on the farm, however, and did not attend school more than six months, but he never let an opportunity slip to read everything on .which he could lay his hands. At the age of nineteen, Lincoln made a trip in a flatboat down the Mississippi River to New Orleans. The Lincoln family moved to Illinois not long after Lincoln had made his trip. After another trip to New Orleans, he took a position as clerk in charge of a store in New Salem. In 1832 he was appointed captain of a company when the Black Hawk War opened. About this time he was a tall, gawky look- 24 THE SPECTATOR ing fellow, wearing a wide brimmed straw hat without a band, a homespun shirt, coat, and trousers that did not meet his shoes by several inches. Strangers said, “This is a clown.” When he went to speak, however, they forgot his appearance. In 1834 he was elected to the legislature. He studied law and was admitted to the bar in 1836. In 1846 he was elected to Congress, and served one term. For several years he practiced law, and in 1854 when the entire country was roused by the Kansas-Nebraska bill, Lincoln took an active part in public affairs. Lincoln and Douglas were candidates for the United States Senate in 1858, and the debates caused much excitement. Douglas was elected but Lincoln had gained a great reputation. In 1860 Lincoln was nominated for the presidency by the Republican Party, and was elected in November. Upon the news of his election the slave question became so important that no ignoring of it was at all possible. South Carolina soon seceded and others followed until there were eleven states in the Confederacy. On the 11th of February, 1861, Lincoln spoke a few words of farewell to his own people, and with a sad heai-t he assumed a task more difficult than that which developed upon Washington. The Civil War opened and the years that followed were full of trial and terror. Lincoln had but one thought all these dark years,—the preservation of the Union. On the first day of January 1863, President Lincoln issued the Emancipation Proclamation, freeing all slaves in the Confederate States of America. In 1864 he was re-elected to the presidency but the public affairs became so unbearable that it seemed as though this man was carrying more than he could endure in heart and mind. He said, “I don’t think I shall hardly live out this term of the Presidency, the burden is so great.” April 9, 1865, General Lee surrendered at Appomatox. The President’s purpose was accomplished, the Union was saved. While attending the theati'e, in Washington, April 14, 1865, the President was shot by an actor, John Wilkes Booth. Robert Ingersoll wrote, “It is the glory of Lincoln that, having almost absolute power, he never abused it, except on the side of mercy. Wealth could not purchase, power could not awe, this divine, this loving man. He knew no fear except the fear of doing wrong. Hating slavery, pitying the master—seeking to conquer, not persons, but prejudices—he was the embodiment of self-denial, the courage, the hope, and the nobility of a nation. He raised his hands, not to strike, but in benediction. Lincoln was the grandest figure of the fiercest Civil War. He is the gentlest memory of our world.” —RUTH HOFFMAN, ’24. DIARY OF A LITTLE BOY INZ to-da iz janooeri ferst which the da after the last of the old yere and becuz all grate menz kept a dary when thay wuz littul biyz i am going to kepe a diary. Janooeri (ferst) This morning when we arosed Ma sed sinz to-da is noo yeres it iz fitting thet we seli-brate by having a dinnir of rost fowl-—no Jimmy, knot the kind yu hav in baseball butt the edible variety sez ma. Will yu pleze go tu the hennary and bring won in, Pa sez that Ma iz awfel stilish sinz shes bin takin the kurrispond-ence korse in kurrect inglish and she talks just like the dukess of whales herself. Sew i went out and kot won knot telling enny-budy that it wuz the won Unkel Bill shot last fall insted of a rabit butt it didn’t dye (until to-da). Awl went well unti wen Pa wuz sinkin hiz fangs into a drumstick and broke a gold tooth wurth $9.98 on sum uv the shot frum Unkel Bill’s gun. The rest is tu violent to put in print butt if yu new Pa veri well yud know what he’d say. Janooeri 2 On my weigh to skule this morning i saw a sine that sed Kast Iron Sinks in Hogans Hardware Store, i wunder if thay think i don’t kno that. Gee— Whiz ennybudy nose that stuff like iron wud sink. Janooeri 3 Wenzda Toda wuza big da for me. i hei’d sis talking to THE SPECTATOR 25 Larry Baker, who lives next door, about going tu the hop tomorrer nite. Becaz Pa wud knot allow her tu go she wuz going tu pretend she went tu bed earlie and when Larry huted ljke an owl she wud clime doun the ladder he wud put under her bedrume win-do Veri well thinx i wen i heres this i will fix yu for telling Ma that i played hookie last weak. Janooeri 4 At nune to-da i saw Larry hide the ladder under the bushez by the fens. Sew tonite after skule i sawed three rungs of the ladder that wer about five feet from the ground almoast threw. Then i weighted pashunt-ly until after supper. About 8:15 sis sez i guess i will i-eetire sinz i hev a lot of wurrk tu du tomorrer. Very well sez Ma and Pa. Az sune az she haz gone i sez to Pa did yu here ennything about a hute owl that ezcaped frum the Zoo last weak? Thear iz a reward of $50 for it ded or alive sinz that kind iz veri skares. Hm, hm sez Pa fifty dollers. Then he goez and lodes hiz shotgun and puts it behind the dore. Just then a feint hute iz herd frum the back yard. Thear it iz, gangway fer thoze fifty bones sez Pa az he runz owt the back dore with hiz shotgun. Just az he kum runnin around the korner sis stept on the sawed rungs and—CRASH—WHAM— sis fallz into Larryz armz, and thay both fell into a tub of water Ma haz set out tu freze to make ize creme with. Pa seez sis hat falling tu the ground and thinking it iz the hute owl pullz the trigger. Larry thot Pa wuz shooting at him and streaks for home at a 40 mile clip. Well well sez Pa, it apperes that i got more than i bargened for. Yu come into the houz yung ladie. Pa seant me tu bed sew i did here what he sed but i gess sis wont try that agen. Janooeri 5 Sis found my diary and found out sum things she shud knot kno, and told Pa to lick me. Pa tuk me tu the wudshed and lade a bored over me and told me to yell. Butt i gess i wont keep a diary enny more az it getz me into tu much truble. Youres trulie, WILLIE JONES. “BETSY” ROSS ■VS all know “Betsy” Ross was given the honor, not the task of making the first American flag. But few, if any, know anyth ng at all of this woman's history, or how she, from all the women in the original thirteen states, came to be chosen by Washington to make the flag which should lead our armies, both then and now. The following will tell you something of all this, and I believe it is something which everybody should know. Elizabeth Ross, called by her friends “Betsy”, the patriot, was born in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, on January 1st, 1752. Her father, Samuel Griscom, was a noted builder of pre-Revolutionary days, who constructed the greater part of the old State House, in that city. The old State House is now called Independence Hall. In December of the year 1773, she became the wife of John Ross, an upholsterer, and after her husband’s death, in 1776, she carried on his business and later engaged in the delightful work of making flags at her little home on Arch Street. Tradition says that Washington, accompanied by Col. George Ross and Robert Morris, called on Betsy, in the latter part of May, 1776 and engaged her to make the first American flag, which would lead the soldiers to noble deeds. At first, “Betsy” said she was not sure she could make one to answer the purpose, but she promised to try. She, then began work on the first American flag. She took red, which stood for the blood, shed in the Revolutionary war; some blue, which symbolized loyalty, and some white, which stood for purity. She alternated the red and white stripes, and in the upper right hand corner placed a field of white upon which she placed thirteen blue stars in a circle; a 26 THE SPECTATOR star for each of the original thirteen states. It has been quite a debatable question for years as to where this flag was first flown. Confusion arose from the use of two flags —the grand Union flag which was carried by the army in the early part of the Revolutionary War, and the one officially adopted by the Senate on June 14, 1777. This flag is now known as the Stars and Stripes. There is much evidence that the Stars and Stripes, after its official adoption, was first raised over the Headquarters of Washington at Middlebrook Heights, near Bound Brook, New Jersey. This evidence has seemed so satisfactory that the New Jersey legislature appropriated $10,000, in 1911 for a suitable monument to be erected there, and Flay Day of that year was celebrated with special ceremonies. —ENA BUCKLEY, ’24. CATS BY WILLIE ATS is like dogs, only different. Cats is not like hot dogs. Cats has fur and a tale. Cats has feet same as mice, only not skinny like toothpicks. Cats is kwick like litning, and drink milk and eat meet. Cats fete has rubber soles and heels, so you can’t here them walk. The way to here Cats walk is to look at its eyes. Cats can see and here in the dark. Cats backs is like rubber. Cats always lites on its feet. Matches lites on there head. Cats blow up like a balloon when they is mad, only they never bust. Cats is funny. Cats has a foot at each corner. Cats head is in front, so they don’t have to walk backward. Cats head has a neck, so you can tell it from the rest of the cat. Cats has nine lives, and these is hard to kill. Mans, monkeys, mules, and ministers has only one lives, but they take better kare than Cats. The way to kill Cats lives is put them in a sack and drown them in water. Cats don’t like water outside. Neither do I. Cats is funny. THE ORIGIN OF ST. VALENTINE’S DAY “Muse, bid the morn awake, Sad winter now declines Each bird doth choose a mate; This day’s St. Valentine’s; For that good bishop’s sake Get up and let us see, What beauty it shall be That fortune us assigns.” During the third century, in Rome a priest, St. Valentine, was martyred and the flay of his accident was chosen for a holiday. The people of Rome, when pagans held a feast called the Lupercalia in honor of Pan and Juno and during the Christian era this feast gave way to the celebration in honor of St. Valentine. The festival started about the middle of February and the 14th of February was set aside as the great day of the celebration. It is impossible to trace any definite connection between the Lupercalia and the way in which people celebrate St. Valentine’s Day now. Valentine Day is now almost everywhere a much degenerated festival, the only observance of any note consisting merely of the sending of jocular or sentimental letters to people whom one wishes to remember. This is confined very much to the humbler classes. The approach of the day is now heralded by the appearance in the shop windows of vast numbers of missives calculated for use on this occasion, each generally consisting of a single verse below pictures of cupids and hearts. A few years ago maidservants and young fellows were the ones who mostly exchanged these tokens. There are certain superstitions attached to the day such as, the first person you meet on Valentine Day will be either your husband or wife. Get five bay leaves and on each corner of your pillow pin a leaf and the other one pin in the middle. The person whom you dream of will be either your husband or wife before the next year. Another is to write names of your lovers on a slip of paper and cover each with mud and then place in water. The one to float on top is your lover and future husband. But among all these superstit:ons there are very few now kept in the celebrating of St. Valentine’s day. —MARY HOFFMAN, ’23. THE SPECTATOR 27 DOGS (APOLOGIES TO WILLIE) GOT a dog. His name is Fido. Whenever I holler yuh fido he comes on the ran. Fido is a verry pritty dog. He is yellow. He’s got a nice cold nose. Fido likes me but he dont like tramps and cats. Dogs is funny They has 4 feets and a collar—sometimes. Dogs can swim but dogs cant fish. Fido had a nice long tale to keep flies off with, only it is cut off. Fido has 2 eyes and 2 ears. 1 ear is white and i dont no what coler the other ear is because a cat bit it off. Fido has a bark, only I don’t know where it is. I think it is in his mouth. He barks all nite. Ma says it most sets her crazy and ma she wont let me say what pa says about it. “COURAGE” OHROUGH little villages, past shell | shot buildings, beside the once � beautiful fields of France, passed . the seemingly endless line of trucks. Food, supplies, and ammunition they carried to the American Soldiers fighting in the trenches. On and on they rumbled, while the paved road became a clay road, the clay road a trail, and the trail lost itself among the vast stretches of the waste made by the German shells. Flying shells became noticeable in the air. In the confusion that followed, this vast train of trucks became separated. Tom Benton, American truck driver of the 31st Motor Corps U. S. A. grasped the steering wheel of his ammunition track tighter and did his best to dodge the great shell holes, always getting nearer the German lines. The flying shells became more numerous, and the distant roar of battle grew louder. Finally the shells seemed too thick and too dangerous for Tom. He stopped the truck and looked around for a place to crawl into to escape the shells but could find no place that offered the least shelter. As a last resort he crawled into the great shell hole directly under his ammunition truck. He lay there shivering. The roar of battle diminished slightly and raising his head Tom was astonished to see his commander standing not ten feet away. This particular Captain was trying to collect his scattered company of motor tracks What a predicament for an American soldier to be in! How could he explain his cowardice ? But the American soldier is resourceful, and this one was no exception. Seizing a piece of iron, he began to hammer at the bottom of the track, meanwhile calling it uncomplimentary names and just plain “cussing”. The Captain looked under the track and exclaimed, “Broke down, Eh?” Tom did not answer but continued to hammer and “cuss”. The commander passed on. But my story does not end here. Of course he found his way back to his company. But the funny part of the story is that, about two weeks later Tom was called into the presence of the general himself, and commended for his bravery in repairing his truck under fire! —DELMAR GEORGE, ’23. A high school girl said to her father the other night: “Daddy, I’ve got a sentence here I’d like you to punctuate. You know something about punctuation, don’t you?” “A little,” said her cautious parent, as he took the slip of paper she handed him. This is what he read: “A $5 bill flew around the corner.” He studied it carefully, “Well,” he finally said, “I’d simply put a period after it, like this.” “I wouldn’t,” said the high school girl; “I’d make a dash after it!” Doctor: “You cough eas’er this morning.” Patient: “I ought to, I’ve been practicing all night.” 28 THE SPECTATOR We wish to acknowledge receipt of the following exchanges since our last publication: Trotty Veck ................. Wah Hoo ..................... Junta........................ Crimson Gold............... Dawn......................... MUnite....................... Magnet ...................... Argus ....................... Gleanor ..................... Optimist .................... Brown White ............... Hi-Spice .................... Red Blue .................. Central Student ............. Red White ................. Trotty Veck—A good paper for the size of your school. You surely have “pep” this year. Wa Hoo—Your cuts are excellent. Where do you get the artists ? Junta—A very clever paper. Dawn—We like the arrangement of your School Notes. MUnite—An interesting paper. Magnet—Our best exchange. A paper that shows good school and “lots of pep”. Your jokes are very good. Argus—We like your “Commercial Department”. Gleanor—We enjoyed reading the column headed “The Tattler”. Optimist—Why not add more to your Literary Department? Hi-Spic e—Your Athletic Department is worthy of praise. ...................Leechburg, Pa. Allegheny H. S., Pittsburgh, Pa. .....................Indiana, Pa. ............... New Brighton, Pa. ............. Meriden, Connecticut .................. Mt. Union, Pa. ..................... Butler, Pa. ................. Huntingdon, Pa. .................. Pawtucket, R. I ................. Titusville, Pa. ......-.......... Greensburg, Pa. ................ Lock Haven, Pa. ....-................. McKeesport, Pa. ................... Detroit, Mich. ................. Kittanning, Pa. Crimson Gold—Your Exchange Department is very interesting because it is different from others. Brown White—Why not comment on your exchanges? We would like to hear your opinion of our paper. Red Blue—Your paper is good but why not larger for the size of your school ? Central Student—We enjoy reading your paper. We hope you come often. Red White—Your paper is well arranged. We would also like to heard from our OLD friends: “The Slippery Rocket”, Slippery Rock, Pa. “The Quippus”, Tarentum, Pa. “Orange Black”, Latrobe, Pa. Also from Punxsutawney, Pa; Chicago, 111.; Honolulu, Hawaii; Los Angeles, Calif ; and Buffalo, N. Y. —EDNA E. KLUGH. THE SPECTATOR 29 THREE AMERICAN HEROES Great was Christopher Columbus, • How brave he was to steer Across the broad Atlantic’s wave, And still to persevere, In spite of all discouragements, Seeking an unknown shore; I’ll learn like him to persevere And wisdom’s field explore. But Greater was George Washington, Who, even in his youth Was honored for his faithfulness, And strict regard for truth, Of all Columbia’s patriot sons, The noblest he, indeed; And like him I will try to be— True, both in word and deed. And there are other noble names, Quite high on Glory’s page. Our country loves to honor them, And shall for many an age. Among them on the roll of fame, And engraved in lines of gold The name of Abraham Lincoln Shall ever be enrolled. —NAOMI BLACK. BROTHERS It’s Sis get this and Sis get that, With every brother I believe. Oh! where’s my books and where’s my hat No wonder, I get peeved: If we sisters dare, their things to touch, Then, “Mom, why can’t my things be left alone, I have no rights in this house as such a boy should know.” Those of us who have musical brothers You know, the ones I mean; If you just dare to touch their music, All things go wrong it seems: But now it’s peace for some of us; Because brothers, now, college attend. Let us hope for better and not for worse; When from college they come again. —MARGARET McKINSTRY. 30 THE SPECTATOR MUD Through mud we traveled on and on; The rain came pouring down. But still we marched and marched and marched, Past village, farm, and town. Up to our knees in mud we were, And gray, drear skies above us But e’er our thoughts would wander far Back home to those who love us. Tho’ worn out from the day’s hard task, We traveled until night. And waited to resume our way, At the first beam of light. For days and days naught else was seen. At last our plight was over; The sun shone brightly forth anew, Those dreary clouds to cover. A few of us came home again, But some there were that fell, Who cannot e’er return again, Their muddy tales to tell. —AGNES ALLEN, ’26. JUST LAUGH Don’t let’s get too serious, Don’t let's get too gay; There’s nothing going to happen To frighten peace away We take events too sternly We stow too grave by half, The country’s coming on all right— Just laugh! Don’t mope around and worry, Don’t think the end is near, There’s nothing going to come along That’s worth a single fear. We take our days too gloomy, We make our wheat all chaff; There won't be any trouble— Just laugh! We argue and we parley, We scold and fuss and fume; The old sun keeps on shining, The new buds bring the bloom Don’t take things so dogged sober, Just medium half and half; There’s nothing going to ruin Just laugh! WASHINGTON’S BIRTHDAY Today our George of Hatchet fame Reminds us of his birth; He left a loved and honored name Revered o’er all the earth. He nursed the germs of liberty That bore us priceless fruit,— Declared that nature made us free— No King should persecute Today we rank among the nations In power, in wealth and fame; No longer seeking approbation, But bear an honored name. Humanity must intercede To check the growing power To limit selfishness and greed That make the feeble cower. Some politicians doubt the tale About the cherry tree, But recognize behind the veil His love of Liberty. —SELECTED. A HAPPY NEW YEAR Suppose we think little about number one, Suppose we all help some one else to have fun, Suppose we never speak of the faults of a friend, Suppose we are ready our own to amend; Suppose we laugh with, and not at other folks, And never hurt any one just for the joke; Suppose we hide trouble, and show only cheer— Then ’tis likely we’ll all have a Happy New Year! —LILLIAN BLACK. THE SPECTATOR 31 THE LATIN TRIANGLE i. When love begins in Latin class Just three rows back from front If all should play, the more fools we Sumus, estis, sunt. II. I love you Jean as you love me And we both love Jack a lot, Which isn’t just as it should be-Amo. amas, amat. III. That three should love each other so Cannot be right. Ah me! His heart must wander to and fro— Veni, vidi, vici. IV. The whole world looks and tongues must wag I fear me quite a bit. ’Tis this I know, We’ll sorry be— Ero, eris, erit. V. When love begins in Latin class With three hearts in the pot, The stakes are high and all must pass— Amo, amas, amat. —JENNIE CAPPO. THE DREAM OF A YANKEE What is more dear to one far away Than the dream of his mother alone, Who is waiting patiently day by day For her brave, only son to come home. It seemed very strange to me last night That 1 slept so sound through the noise, I dreamed that I was out of the fight And was returning home with the boys. What joy! I was in my mother’s arms How I kissed her and she kissed me, It seemed so good to be back on the farm Safely over that foaming sea. I have just heard wonderful news tonight That tomorrow we sail on our way, Oh! how can we stand it till broad daylight When we’re ready to start for the U. S. A. '—Georgia McLaughlin. A TEACHERS FAVORITE SONG Once in the dear, dumb days beyond recall, When on our reports, our marks began to fall, And out of school there rushed a happy throng Then all we flunkers heard this same old song. Just one hour at twilight, When the rest are gone, If you have your lesson Then you may go home; Tho’ your brain be weary, Hard the task, and dry, You may go with the others If you only try. Even today, we hear that song of yore, And in our hearts it dwells forever more, Some may graduate, rosy grow their way, Still we flunkers hear it at the close of day. Refrain —LOUISE HENDERSON. THE SPECTATOR 33 The 1922 season was a failure if one just W. Cribbs Kness considers the number of games won and L. Marks George lost. The final standing showed 3 victories, Campbell Secrest 4 defeats, and 3 ties. The team played a Ferguson A. Davis very hard schedule and if it were not foi The and scores for the season of “breaks” and handicaps the victory column 22 were as follows: would total 6 instead of 3, as Youngwood, Vandergrift 6 ............. Youngwood 6 Kittanning and New Kensington would have Vandergrift 0 ................New Kensington 24 been defeated. However, we still retain the Vandergrift 6 .............Kittanning 12 valley championship by defeating the rival Vandergrift 7 .. Latrobe 7 team of Apollo on Thanksgiving Day 18-0. Vandergrift 44 ...............Tarentum 0 We surely had something to be thankful for. Vandererift 18 ............. Ambridire 7 To mention the stars of the season, it is vandergrift 20 ..............Leechburg 20 only necessary to name the “letter-men”:— vandergrift 0 ..............Johnstown 15 W. Adams Floyd Vandergrift 0 Rochester 16 A. Adams (Capt.) Bradstock Vandergrift 18 Apollo 0 “AFTER THE BALL” (With apologies to an old song) Bright lights were flashing before the half-backs eyes; The quarter-back and full-back were nursing busted thighs. The tackle tried to buck the line, while offering up a prayer, And in a mass of human fragments he had climbed the Golden Stair. The center rode a mass play through the Pearly Gates; The surgeons in the hospital were mending broken pates. Somebody gouged my eye out, a nose was seen to fall While scrambling over the goal line, af-ter the ball. (Chorus) After the ball was over; after the field was clear; What did you do with my eyebrow ? Whei'e is the rest of my ear ? Somebody has my ulna bone as a souvenir of the brawl, And I lost a lung on the five-yard line, af-ter the ball. The captain took the kick-off and was carted from the game; The full-back tried to cross-buck, and he’ll never look the same. The right end smeared a foreward pass, in a quivering mass of remains, One had an armful of arms and legs another a handful of brains. The quarter-back has vanished into the Sweet Bye and Bye; The left end’s in the garage can, searching for his eye. The season now is over—the din, and shout, and all, But some of the boys are not all here, af-ter the ball. (Chorus) After the ball was over; after the field was cleared; Somebody’s got my knee-cap, my scalp has disappeared. The boys are in the study rooms, the cheering squad and all, But some of their principle parts were lost, while af-ter the ball. —“Selected’ 34 T H E SPEC TAT O R GIRLS’ BASKETBALL At last! The girls have begun to play basketball again! It has been five years since V. H. S. has had a Girls’ Basketball Team. However, the girls have started and it is going to be pretty hard to stop them but we don’t want to anyhow. Let them go right on to victory in every game! All the girls interested in Basketball looked forward to Thursday, December 14. which was one day not to be forgotten by our girl athletics. On January 5, the first scrimmage was held, and 40 girls, representing the best material to be had in High School, turned out for practice They did very well considering their limited knowledge of the game. Miss Hood has undertaken the task of coaching the team and the results are very promising. They have arranged the following schedule: Leechburg at Leechburg—January 27 Elders Ridge at Elders Ridge—February 2 Blairsville at Blairsville—February 23 Leechburg at Vandergrift—February 28 West Newton at West Newton—March 2 Elders Ridge at Vandergrift—March 9 Blairsville at Vandergrift—March 16 West Newton at Vandergrift—March 23 Greensburg at Vandergrift—February 13 Commercial College of Vandergrift and High School—February ? What the outcome will be only time will tell for at the present writing none of the games have been played, but the girls are looking forward to some gi-eat victories. BOYS’ BASKETBALL On December 13, Mr. Byerly sent out a call for recruits for Basketball. A large number of boys answered the call. The squad is quite large and a good team should be the result, as competition is the keynote of success. Although the mainstays, Condi, Beck, and dinger, of last year’s team will be greatly missed, there still remains a good nucleous around which a winning combination may be built in players Ferguson, Floyd, Secrist, Cribbs, Anderson, Lash and Marks. The league schedules were sent out and Vandergrift’s is as follows: Jan. 5.........Vandergrift at Tarentum Jan. 9.............Apollo at Vandergrift Jan. 12.........Vandergrift at Ford City Jan. 16.........Kittanning at Vandergrift Jan. 19..............Vandergrift at Arnold Jan. 23..........Parnassus at Vandergrift Jan. 26....Vandergrift at New Kensington Feb 2.........Tarentum at Vandergrift Feb. 6...............Vandergrift at Apollo Feb. 9...........Ford City at Vandergrift Feb. 13.........Vandergrift at Kittanning Feb. 16.............Arnold at Vandergrift Feb. 23.........Vandergrift at Parnassus Mar. 2.....New Kensington at Vandergrift The Basketball season has not been as successful as it might have been but we are expecting some victories by the team in the remaining games that are to be played. T. H. S. vs. V. H. S. On January 5, V. H. S. played Tarentum High School on the Tarentum floor. It was a very good game even though we were defeated by a score of 14-31. The line-up was as follows: V. H. S. T. H. S. Cribbs (Capt ) F. (Capt.) Coulter Lash F. Baker Floyd C. Brown Ferguson G. Hammond Anderson G. Ashbough Substitutes: V. H. S.—Marks for Lash, Lash for Cribbs, Cribbs for Ferguson; T. H. S.—Mason for Baker. Field Goals: Cribbs 2, Lash 1, Marks 1; Coulter 5, Brown 2, Ashbough 2, Mason 1. Foul Goals: Cribbs 6- out of 17, Coulter 11 out of 19. A. H. S. vs. V. H. S. On January 9, V. H. S. was defeated by Apollo High School by a score of 23-31. This was a very exciting game and a large number of rooters accompanied the Apollo team with their usual amount of School Spirit and “pep”. The line-up was as follows: V. H. S. A. H S. Cribbs (Capt.) F. (Capt.) Jones Marks F. Dentzel Floyd C. Shaffer THE SPECTATOR 35 Anderson G. Dodson Ferguson G. C. Shaffer Substitutes: V. H. S.—Lash for Floyd, Floyd for Anderson, Anderson for Floyd, Karlewski for Marks; A. H. S.—Patterson for Shaffer. Field Goals: Cribbs 4, Marks 1, Lash 2, Karlewski 1; Jones 4, Shaffer 4, Dodson 1. Foul Goals: Cribbs 4 out of 17, Lash 3 out of 19. F. C. H. S. vs. V. H. S. On January 12, V. H. S. played Ford City High School at Ford City. The line-up was as follows: V. H. S. F. C. H. S. Cribbs (Capt.) F. Bellas Marks F. (Capt.) Campbell Lash C. Wolfe Anderson G. Kelly Ferguson G Signorella Substitutions: V. H. S.—Floyd for Lash, Lash for Floyd, Floyd for Lash, Secrist for Anderson. Field Goals: Marks 4, Cribbs 3; Bellas 3, Campbell 12, Kelly 1, Signorella 4. Foul Goals: Cribbs 8 out of 18; Lash 4 out of 7; Signorella 1 out of 7, Campbell 8 out of 15. K. H. S. vs. V. H. S. On January 16, V. H. S. played Kittanning High School at Vandergrift and was defeated by a score of 10-28 The line-up was as follows: V. H. S. K. H. S. Cribbs (Capt.) F. McGivern Marks F. Bieror Lash C. Knobel Ferguson G. (Capt.) Daugherty Anderson G. Smith Substitutions: V. H. S.—Floyd for Lash, Lash for Cribbs, Cribbs for Anderson, Se-crist for Ferguson; K. H S.—Helm for Mc-Givern, McGivern for Helm Field Goals: Cribbs 2; McGivern 1, Helm I, Bieror 5, Knobel 4. Foul Goals: Cribbs 0 out of 1, Marks 5 out of 17, Lash 1 out of 4; Daugherty 6 out of II. A. H. S. vs. V. H. S. On January 19, V. H. S. played Arnold High School on the Arnold floor, and the game ended with a score of 20-29, their favor. The line-up was as follows: V. H. S. Marks F. Lash F. Floyd C. Ferguson G. Cribbs (Capt.) G. Substitutions: V. H. Floyd. Field Goals: Marks 4, Lash 1, Cribbs 3; Lorant 3, Hobb 5. Foul Goals: Lash 2 out of 6, Cribbs 2 out of 10; Lorant 2 out of 6, Hoffman 10 out of 12. A. H. S. Haser Lorant (Capt.) Hoffman Youngs Wields S.—Anderson for P. H. S. vs. V. H. S. On January 23, V. H. S. played Parnassus High School on our own floor, the game resulting with a score of 26-38, our favor This game will be remembered as the first victory of the 1923 season and the team is going to keep the good work up, now they have at last started. The line-up was as follows: V. H. S. P. H. S. Marks F. (Capt.) Hudson Lash F. Plever Floyd C. Slobogsky Ferguson G. Stein Cribbs (Capt.) G. Thompson Substitutions: V. H. S.—none; P. H. S.— Gillus for Plever, Brumbaugh for Slobogsky, Plever for Gillus, Gillus for Stein Field Goals: Lash 2, Marks 4, Floyd 1, Cribbs 6; Hudson 4, Stein 2. Foul Goals: Cribbs 0 out of 3, Lash 5 out of 13, Marks 7 out of 13; Hudson 14 out of 24. At the present writing only six of the games scheduled have been played so we are all looking forward to a victorious ending of the season and we are going to show the public we really can play basketball. 36 THE SPECTATOR SPECTATOR SCHOOL NOTES The public cries for something new So our School Notes must be changed too So in a form to “Spectator” new This tale will I unfold to you. Thanksgiving dinner was surely a dream But if you had the tummy ache I know how real it would seem. If you attended the Apollo game You realize too plain to be seen The “Pollies” the cheer leaders staged us Made most of us long to scream. And as Christmas time drew nearer Our lessons grew and grew Till it seemed to us poor students That teachers gave presents too. For ten whole glorious days On a rosy cloud we moved, But when to school we did return Back came our mournful mood. Examinations only two weeks off How hard we kids did work And most of us got the headache Now who says our duties we shirk? Examinations came ’round and passed And with them an awful blow For, “Say did ja flunk any subjects?” Has taken the place of “Hello.” FRESHMAN NOTES Here we are again after the mid-term final exams. All of the Freshmen who did pass all subjects are continuing on the same routine of classes as usual. And all of the Freshmen who were caught in the snares of the tricky exams, have found that they must use their brains a little harder and make up their failures, so that all may continue as a class. As we found in English “unity is the clinging together of things that are alike”, so for our motto, “Unity is Strength!” We are quite well advanced in all of our subjects. We are studying Literature in English and find it very interesting. In Algebra we can work all sorts of questions. Sometimes General Science is rather hard but with Miss Bain’s help we get along fine. Latin translations are getting more easy every day and we can even talk some Latin. The students of Bookkeeping and Ancient History are very fond of the subjects. The victims of the Latin exam, find Civics interesting, having had something like it in the eighth grade. The girls have started to play Basket THE SPECTATOR 37 Ball and are doing well. They can now tell where the “center”, “forewards” and “guards” places are. It just seems that every day in every way we “Freshies” grow wiser and wiser. Don't you think so, too ? SOPHOMORE NOTES Now that we have recovered from the worries of those dreadful “Finals”, we may be seen with the usual smiles on our faces. We are glad to welcome back our old friend Rolfe, who has been absent some time on account of a very serious accident he had several weeks ago. The Spanish classes have received the long looked for Spanish paper, “El Eco,” and are wondering what in the world those funny sounding words can mean. The French classes are enjoying “Le Petit Journal.” The English classes are growing more interesting every day. We have begun debating, which we find not only develops the mind but also is very educational. The girls have organized a rousing basket ball team and although they were defeated by the Freshmen, they make a good team anyways. JUNIOR CLASS NOTES Oh Joy! First semester over already! Here’s wishing you all just as great or greater success next term. The Junior Class has not yet begun any preparations for class organization but we hope to do so in the near future. Come on Juniors, get some class spirit! There are a few pupils of the Junior class on the honor roll for the semester. These are: Pauline Bolar Edna Buckley Winona Love The literary Societies are progressing rapidly. One of the best of these clubs is the Klondike Klub. This club has given some excellent literary programs. The fol- lowing Christmas program was above the average: Reading ..............................Mary Kuhns A Story of a Christmas in Jail, Richard Eisman Vocal Duet .. .Virginia King, Hulda Cooper Reading .............................Betty Smith School Paper ..............Alice Streightif Conditions in Europe this Christmas, Joseph Lazier Just now the members of the program committe are planning a “Riley” program, which is to be given on January 26. They have already thought of a Lincoln Day program and are doing their best to make it the greatest success of all. The Klondike Klub will be glad to welcome those who desire to attend its meetings. SENIOR CLASS NOTES It has often been remarked—with much truth—that humanity usually fails to appreciate that which is close to it. In other words “Familiarity breeds contempt.” Dwellers in Buffalo pass Niagara without a thrill, Ford buys ten cent cigars without a qualm, and even so in Vandergrift. For three years and one-half, an assembly of beauty, wit and brains, incarnate in infant prodigies, budding Beethovens, and future rulers of the Universe have assembled in V. H. S. At present this assembly for which champions and kings would give their crowns to belong to is known as the Senior Class of V. H. S. THINK OF IT! Surely you have seen some of our classmates. Peewee Renton, the infant Valentino whom girls will ever adore; Bill Cribbs, over whom coaches of fifty colleges fight; Jake Landau, the hopeless; Kenney Smith, the future H. Lloyd and even Tom Shaffer, the modern Solomon. Of all the meetings of the Alpha Literary Society the Thanksgiving and Christmas programs were the most interesting. The various members on the Thanksgiving program gave evidence of thought and preparation. The latest meeting of the Society 38 THE S rKCTATOR was held the Tuesday before Christmas. The program was in the nature of a Christmas entertainment and consisted of the following numbers: “Christmas in Other Lands”, “A Christmas Story”, “Christmas in England”, “Class Papers”, and “Christmas Thoughts”. During the second semester new officers will be elected and orations and debates will be added to the programs. The mid-term exams, week was, for some of the Seniors, “A Week of Doom” (with apologies to Michael Wigglesworth). However, for the majority it was a success. A Senior Class meeting was held recently for the purpose of appointing a Committee which is to select the class rings. We hope to have the rings in the near future. The Senior girls are making quite a mark in the Athletic field. They are going to fight for old V. H. S. The first game is at Leechburg. Three cheers for the girls! The Vandergrift High School students desire to take this opportunity to extend their sincere sympathy to Mr. Robert Fitzsimmons and family. ANNOUNCEMENT! (All members in bad standing of the Stuped Solomon Society please do not note.) There will be a grand formal ball at the ball park on the morning of Septober the 32nd, at ten o’clock p. m. Please wear informal dress, as the seats probably will be dirty. Many attractions will be offered. The “Unattractive Trackwalker Chapter” will present a tragedy entitled “Fat Burns on Broadway”. This is undoubtedly one of the best comedies along the short circuit. Music will be furnished by a one-peace orchestra brought at great expense from the local insance esylum. Speeches and songs will be given by entertainers from the Home for Wandering Deaf Mutes. A boxing match between Pete Pounds, the armless wonder, and Slim Slappem, the legless acrobat, will be held. Prizes will be given for the Fattest Acrobat, the Skinniest Fat Man, the Slowest Racer, the Clumsiest “Human Fly”, and the most beautiful washwoman. Awards will include a purse of gold trimmed with brass, a silver loving cup given by the Amalgamated Imitation Silver Producers, ink; and a forged check for $1,000. A good time will be had by no one. THE MENU The first course will consist of choice cocktail (coktails will be plucked from Plymouth Rock Roosters of great age). The next on the list will be turtle soup with stewed pineapples. (Pineapples are from the S. S. S.’s public grove in Labrador.) The bread served will be made from wheat which Prof. Digemont brought from Egypt. Said wheat is over 2,000 years young and is in a perfect state of decay. While the guests are endeavoring to eat said grub, Brothers Dina Mough and Dina Might will speak to the audience. Boxes of cabbages and overripe tomatoes will be placed at convenient places on the table. Guests will kindly use the contents of same in the customary manner. You are also requested to pound heavily on the drinking glasses with sledge hammers in aecompainment with the orchestra which will render “The Cowbells of ’76.” Dessert will be Strawberry Flavor Building Bricks garnished with poison ivy leaves. SUBSCRIPTION HONOR ROLL The following rooms subscribed 100% for this issue of Spectator”. Room Teacher Class 29 Miss Stahlman ’23 39 Miss Hamill ’23 21 Miss Bain ’24 22 Miss Harthorn ’24 24 Miss Steel ’25 25 Miss Ray ’25 26.. Miss Wiggins ’25 THE SPECTATOR 39 r n 3 Uh ] @ (SOURCE—AMERICAN LEGION WEEKLY) Eliza Jane: “That pig’s doing an awful lot of squealing in the barnyard. What is your dad doing to him ?” Samantha: “Dad’s just trying to make both ends ‘meat’!” “Ge, I wish I was in your shoes!” “Why?” “Because mine leak!” I had a girl at Devers I had five more at Lee, And ten more at Hoboken, Before I crossed the sea. At Brest I had full twenty, In Paris seventeen, My name is Mrs. Biltmore Jones, I ran a camp’s canteen. Flapper: “Isn’t it funny, how many ex- soldiers grow bald?” Flipper: “Nothing so funny about that, they’re bound to come out on top.” “There’s a new girl sitting over at the next table, you ought to invite her out to dinner some time.” “Let me have a good look at her.” “Why, I thought you knew her?” “I do, but I want to see how much she eats.” “Sorry I can’t insure you—you’re too tall,” said the agent to the man who wanted to take out an accident policy. “Too tall?” What’s the matter with that,” protested the applicant, and anyway I’m not as tall as was father and he didn't have any trouble getting insured.” “But your father,” the agent explained, was insured years ago, where there was no danger of a fellow having his head knocked off by a skidding aeroplane!” Teacher: “James, who was the greatest man in the world?” James: “Mamma’s first husband.” Wife: “Don’t deny it, I saw you coming out of a saloon.” Hubby: “Now dearie, you wouldn’t want me to stay in there, would you?” Singer: “W'hen I sang in Buffalo the audience was so please they presented me with a house.” Sap: “Brick by brick?” Suitable Matches A lawyer should marry a Sue, A porter a Carrie should wed, A gambler a Betty, a landlord a Letty, A fisherman Nettie ’tis said. A florist should marry a Rose. A painter should marry a Dot, A milliner Hattie, a rugmaker Mattie, A pastryman Patty-eh, what? Downstairs in the kitchen his mother was struggling with the supper fire. “Chester,” said his mother, “fetch me a stick of wood.” “Ah, mother,” replied Chester, “the grammat’cal portion of your education has been sadly neglected. You should say. “Thomas, my son, transport from the recumbent collection of combustible material on the threshold of this edifice one of those curtailed excresences of defunct log.” “Do you want a job digging potatoes?” asked the farmer. “Yes,” replied a senior hobo. “Providing it’s digging them out of gravy.” 40 THE SPECTATOR Father: “Johnny, come help me dig these potatoes. Son: “Aw, don’t you think it would be better of you’d do it yourself? You planted ’em. You know where they are.” The girls have organized a basket ball team, Made up of girls both good and clean; They will sure win glory, Don’t you worry; For those girls who all can see, Are as busy as a bee. Miss Goff to pupil: “John, take the chewing gum out of your mouth and put your feet in.” “My good man you had better take the trolly car home.” “Shushe! My wife wouldn’t let me—hie—keep it in the house.” Brief Tragedy Reckless Hugh Car new Whistle blew Cried “Pooh!” Drove through Train flew Funeral at two. Boarder: “James, bring me a pitcher of water. I might get thirsty tonight.” James: “No, indeed! Thei'e’s a spring under the mattress.” “I dropped fifty feet out of a window.” “Goodness, were you hurt?” “No, they were pig’s feet.” “Mirandy have you seen anything of my wife’s whereaouts?” “Yes, suh! Ah put them in the wash. FELLOWS THERE’S SOME SNAPPY OVERCOATS Here at cut prices—made for us late in December —next Fall’s styles at a lot less than next year’s prices—new Spring Suits coming in now. THE SPECTATOR 41 Tom: “I saw a patient at the emergency hospital who broke his neck while lying in bed.” Chuck: “How strange. How did it happen?” Tom: “He tried to lick the alcohol off his back.” I felt her soft breath on my cheek, And the gentle touch of her hand; Her very presence near me, Seemed a breeze on the desert sand. She deftly sought my lips, My heart she did enfold, Then she broke the silence with,— “Shall the filling be silver or gold?” (She was a lady dentist.) Tall handsome train robber: “I want money from all the men and kisses from all the ladies.” Partner: “Aw, get the money and never mind the kisses.” Old maid: “See here, that tall fellow’s conducting this robbery.” A woman spent the summer tanning her hide. She is spending the winter hiding her tan. When a man in a street car never looks at the pretty girls, it’s a sign that the woman next to him is his wife. Mrs. Jinks: “Don’t you miss your husband very much, now that he is away?” Mrs. Flinks: “Oh, not at all. You see, he left me plenty of money and at breakfast 1 just stand a newspaper in front of his place and half the time I forget he isn’t there. A peanut sat upon a track Its heart was all a-flutter The 4:31 hit it with a smack Toot! Toot! Peanut butter. DOLLARS SAVED is dollars earned — Select your home furnishings at GORDON’S “SQUARE DEAL” FURNITURE STORE Opposite Mill Office Vandergrift, Pa. DID YOU VISIT I. Protetch’s Jewelry Store at 152 Farragut Ave. Where Expenses are Small and Values are Big. If not let’s get acquainted. You will not regret making this store your Jewelry Store. You can also open a Charge Account with us if you wish. I. PROTETCH Your Jeweler 42 THE SPECTATOR Teacher: “Where are the islands of Hawaii ?” Pupil: (Just waking up) “Mam?” Teacher: “Hawaii.” Pupil: “Oh, I am all right, thank you.” Phone 678 Phone 9784 Kiski News Co. The stage is set—Our big Spring line of Spalding’s Rase Ball goods is arriving daily. The new Ball Park will be in fine shape—Get ready early — Place special suit orders early— WATCH FOR OUR BIG VALENTINE DISPLAY 149 Grant Ave., Vandergrift, Pa. “I was told,” Sid said. “In my early youth, that if I didn’t quit smoking cigarettes I’d be feeble-minded when I grew up.” “Well,” said Mazie, “Why didn’t you quit?” J. E. CRAWFORD Wall Paper----Paints Varnishes and Brushes : I f PICTURE FRAMING A SPECIALTY Phone 433-J 209 Longfellow St. { •h THE SPECTATOR 43 Cabinet Mantles, Tile and Grates, Gas and Electric Fixtures and Supplies, Glassware, Queensware, Novelties and Toys Any Phone 117 GEO. F. BREIG CONTRACTOR FOR ALL KINDS OF ELECTRICAL WORK 174 Columbia Avenue VANDERGRIFT, PA. Former Doughboy (returning to Europe for a visit): “See that big wave?” Fellow Passenger: “Yes.” “And the hollow on the left?” “Yes.” “Well, right in the center of that is where we first saw the U-boat.” Brown, the Florist I Jl Has a full line of the best j : Alter Whitehead | floral stock obtainable • t HARDWARE AND Prices are Right i £ : HOUSE FURNISHINGS | REMEMBER • I : STOVES | Birthdays, Anniversaries, • and other “big” days, and j PAINTS AND GLASS above all Mother. ; • x° : 145 GRANT AVENUE T Call 113 Grant Ave. VANDERGRIFT, PA. £ Or Phone 350 ; ! PHONE 487 £ “Say it with Flowers” F T 44 THE SPECTATOR WHEN YOU ARE IN NEED OF ELECTRIC APPLIANCES AND RADIO SUPPLIES COME TO THE ELECTRIC SHOP 176 Columbia Ave. Vandergrift, Pa. WE ARE RUNNING WEEKLY SPECIALS IN RADIO PARTS “Did you notice those two fellows at the boardinghouse this morning?” “Yes; one is a farmer, and the other a city man.” “How could you tell?” “The farmer said, ‘Will you pass the cream, please?’ and the city man asked, ‘Is there any milk in that pitcher?’ ” THE SPECTATOR 45 Little Susie: “Mama, can our maid see in the dark?” Mama: “Why, dear, what makes you think so?” Little Susie: “I heard her talking to papa in the dark, and she said he needed a shave.” Son: “Father, is the zebra a black animal with white stripes, or is he a white animal with black stripes?” t BENJAMIN’S GRANT i AVENUE PHARMACY t GEO. R. BENJAMIN, Ph. G. Prescription Druggists THE REXALL STORE Eastman Kodaks and Films Fresh Stock RIECKS ICE CREAM % (Exclusively) For up-to-date FOOTWEAR Let GEORGE Do It i -lk-h-h- 46 THE SPECTATOR ARCADIA THEATRE Longfellow St., Vandergrift, Pa. FEB. 12—REGINALD BARKERS Production of “GODLESS MEN” A GOLDWYN PICTURE FEB. 13—“MADONNAS AND MEN’ Jans Pictures, Inc. COMING Monto Cristo February 16-17 “Is there anything you would like to do before I press the button?” said the warden of Sing Sing to the murderer in the electric chair. “Yes, your honor,” said the latter. “I would like to get up and give my seat to a lady.” GRANT STUDIO PORTRAITS BY PHOTOGRAPHY “PICTURES THAT PLEASE” 137 A GRANT AYE. VANDERGRIFT, PA. THE SPECTATOR 47 “Eliza,” said a'friend of the family to the old colored washerwoman, “have you seen Miss Edith’s fiance?” “Eliza pondered a moment, then bent over the laundry tubs once more. “No ma’am,” she said, “it ain’t been in the wash yet.” Advice to Biology students: “Before a tadpole becomes a frog, he has to eat off his tail.” Condo’s Market —For— GROCERIES AND MEATS 161 Columbia Ave. Phone 35 4-M-M”M-M M-I-M-M-l l‘4 l M I M l l-l-M 48 THE SPECTATOR Compliments of Allison Dry Goods Co. Preacher: “Why John, what would your mother say if she knew you were smoking cigarettes? I shall have to tell her.” John: “Oh gee, please don’t; they are her cigarettes.” Pat and Mike each wanted to be up first on St. Patrick’s Day. Pat: “If I’m up first; I’ll make a chalk mark on the door.” Mike: “And if I get up first, I’ll rub it off.” H. L. YERTY —Dealer in All Kinds of— LUMBER, MILL WORK AND BUILDERS’ SUPPLIES Roofing, Wall Board, Paints, Oils, Varnishes, Glass, Etc. Has Plans and Specifications for Modern American Homes Office Phone 12 Residence Phone 233 Office and Yard No. 181 Lincoln Avenue Near School Buildings Vandergrift, Pa. 4-M-M’4'4 l -H-l-I-M-l-M-M-M-l-I-M-l-M-M-M-M-M-I-l- ' ' ' -H-H-l-M-M-M-I-i- •H-H- THE SPECTATOR 49 Do You Know ? Biehl and Co. have a most complete line of SUITS and OVERCOATS STOP IN AFTER SCHOOI -WE ARE GLAD TO SEE YOU SPRING SUITS AND TOP COATS NOW IN Biehl Co. 138 Grant Avenue VANDERGRIFT, PA. W. C. TOMILSON : Columbia Grafonolas t Druggist ; I Prescriptions Accurately : ' T I compounded by H. M. WILLIAMS t Registered Pharmacists Confectioner t f only • : 307 Longfellow St. i | Phone 20 ; t 130 Grant Avenue • Johnston’s Chocolates ± X Vandergrift, Pa. A Look | AT OUR BILLIARD ROOM t Will convince you we are ahead in Comfort with Carpet, X Cozy Settees and finest fixtures obtainable. X A Study | OF OUR CIGAR STOCK ± ? And fixtures will convince you we are not behind in any- Z X thing—(except)—behind the counter where we give you in- X T stant service with pleasure. X Yours X BUCKS | CIGARS BILLIARDS ± ■M44444444444444444 I I MAfchUjJ! 50 THE SPECTATOR WHAT A DIFFERENCE NEW CLOTHES MAKE! PARTICULARLY WHEN THEY ARE TAILORED TO ORDER BY W. E. HUDSON Phone P. A. 38 : Vandergrift Sugar Bowl i JOHN LAM BROS, Prop. 147 Grant Avenue VANDERGRIFT, PA. Fine Confections and Ice Cream Wholesale and Retail REAL ESTATE AND INSURANCE BROKER SAME PLACE: : Our line of smokers’ Sup- I plies and Confectionery is I most complete. A. W. LOVE 200 A Longfellow Ave. VANDERGRIFT, PA. Phone 419 A BILLIARDS BOWLING Best Game Known Increases Vigor Lightens Labor Leaves the Mind Clear Ideal for Recreation Allays Tired Feeling Rebuilds Vitality Dispenses Pleasure Simple to Play Brideson Blocks Indigestion Overcomes Brain Fatigue :: Wholesome Recreation ;; Lengthens Life Insures Good Health :: Necessary for “Pep” ;; Guards the System • • Lace THE SPECTATOR 51 LADIES' BAZAAR HAS A FULL LINE OF PRETTY GRADUATION AND PARTY DRESSES FOR THE GIRLS OF CLASS ’23 Photographs YOUR FRIENDS WANT THEM OF YOU. BE PHOTOGRAPHED ON YOUR BIRTHDAY THIS YEAR. PLANK STUDIO Phone 401-A 136 Washington Ave. Come in and See our New Line in Men’s and Young Men’s Spring Suits and Top Coats L. LANDAU CLOTHIER AND FURNISHER Grant Ave. Phone 21 L EXCLUSIVE DEALER IN MICHAELS-STERN CLOTHES 52 THE SPECTATOR Jack D„ Milie H. J. SCHULER CO. STOP—AND—SHOP —WITH US— Phone—Office 423 303 Longfellow St. $ New Spring Goods of every J J description now on display, f t++ Phone—Residence 607 J 99 Longfellow St. Women’s Suits, Coats, Dresses and Skirts—Dry Goods and Novelties Footwear and Hosiery t :j. DIPLOMAS AND CLASS I PICTURES Special Sale EASTMAN FILMS Columbia Ave. Vandergrift, Pa. WE FIT FEET 142 Grant Avenue J. FRANK BLAIR Foot Expert VANDERGRIFT DRUG COMPANY Leading Druggists [ Should be framed in order to preserve ; them. We can show you many new ' and exclusive 'mouldings that are ap-; propriate, and the prices are right. H. G. RAY hH“HM-M-M-H A WONDERFUL HELP TO SCHOOL FOLKS The correcting of their eye defects, thereby relieving them of headaches and nerve strain, and giving them an equal chance with other students. These results are secured by our McCormick way of fitting. PHILLIPS ANDES Jewelers and Ophthalmologists THE MAXWELL Sport Touring Car Completely Equipped for the Road With 11 Spare tire and tube in drum type cover, nickeled spring ;; II bumpers front and rear, large trunk carried on trunk rack ;; II on rear, nickeled water indicator guaranteed against theft ” 11 for one year, nickeled radiator and cowl and headlights, and ;; II windshield cleaner. ;; No motor car has ever won so high a place in public regard in such a short time as has been accorded the good Maxwell since the New Series was introduced. Call us on the phone and we will gladly come and give you a demonstration. J. R. RADCLIFFE Sherman at Hamilton, VANDERGRIFT, PA. Phone 733 T X x v v V X X X X v Are You Sending the Whole Child to School? v 5 IS YOUR CHILD EQUIPPED? Five million school children in this country—a fourth of all the children in all the schools—are not equipped for the work. And what they lack is the most vital weapon of all—good eyesight. They are given splendid school-houses, a full equipment of school books—and yet neither parents nor teachers realize that many of these children are fighting with the broken sword of faulty vision. Headaches, nervousness, listless-ness , these proclaim the sapping of energy that is probably due to uncorrected eyesight. Difficulty in keeping up with school work is a suggestive symptom. The child who buries his head in his books, the child who squints, cannot learn his lessons properly and is thus not fully armed for the competitions of later life. THE DUTY IS YOURS AND NOT THE CHILD’S These handicapped children have never looked through any eyes but their own and assume that all children see exactly as they do. Naturally, they have not complained about their eyes, and their parents accordingly never dream that their eyes are not normal. Your child’s chances in life may depend upon your taking action now in this matter of his eyesight. The Wellsworth Scientific Staff, through many years of research work, has contributed much toward better vision for the school children of America. Get the facts about your child’s eyes. Have them examined once a year. IF GLASSES ARE NEEDED WE RECOMMEND WELLSWORTH GLASSES All that Science can give; all that Artistry can add Duppstadt, Registered Optometrist