Valparaiso University - Beacon / Record Yearbook (Valparaiso, IN)

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But be sure you know of algebra Something more than just a smatter For he calls equations six foot long WA very simple matter. ,7 When he said in heat and fluids Likewise in sound and light llNow this is Very obvious7, We prepared to sit up all night. To keep the balance it is said To equals add just equals, To vary from this often brings Somewhat disastrous sequels. We found this out and you Will too, Little Freshie young and green, When you hit the road to algebra Under Roesseler, I ween. Be sure you know your axioms, And donlt you be to long In answering all his questions, 01' he,ll sing that little song. There is B. F. Who said he7d like A eross-section of our brains, VVeTe sure held find it wonderful And well worth all his pains. If he performed the operation He7d find then Ilm quiite sure7 More than one layer devoted. To the subject of Literature. To Milton, Wordworth and Carlyle To Tennyson and his graces, To heaven and earth and paradise And several other places. Old N oah knew the animals That praneed into his Ark, He named and called them two by two For he knew them all by heart. But our Bennet With his theory Of spontaneous generation Can trace their pedigrees, Iim sure, Dowu to our present station. So if youid like to know from Which Ancestral tree youlve sprung, And Who your old ancestors were, And how this world begun, Go to Professor Bennet And Whether Jew or iiunkey, lle7ll prove to you beyond a doubt You ire cousin to the monkey. To clear away the Latin snags When deep became the Water, We had Professor Carver And his most charming daughter. Shels a loyal Scientific, Classics elen obey her rule, And Latin verbs and idioms Just radiate from her stool. He is the teacher on the Hill Of superlative degree For adjectives describing him All end in ees-t- But to teachers kind and thoughle ,Tis time to say adieu, We leave you With regrets, and With Kind feelings not a few. VVelll take With us the memories Of our dear Alma Mater, To homes throughout all this broad land, And elen across the water. In the busy life hereafter Back Will come thoughts of her To all the girls of nineteen ten Whenever fudge they stir, While all the boys will have to do Is just to strike a light, And theyill dream of her in clouds of smoke, From out that old class-pipe.

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CLASS POEM Lenora W. Taylor RITING poetry is no fun V RI As anyone knows who Is tried it; I wasnit born for a poetess, No use to try to hide it. But I belong to a class on College Hill As good as ever they make Iem, So when they asked me to write some rhymes I hadn7t the heart to shake ,em, I knew Itd have to run a bluff When the task to me was hinted, But Walt Whitman he wrote worser stuff And managed to get his printed. I thot of subjects great and grand, In puzzling over topics Of temperance logic, myth and tale From the cold seas to the Tropics. I went to Sagers7, walked to Flint To look for inspiration But ne,er a thought would come to me Except it was quotation. I went to lectures, to debates, And listened, some, to preachers, But neter a subject there I heard T0 beat tiOurselves and Teachers. For we are the class, the only class, That ever trod the Hill, Mere lawyers, engineers and such DonIt begin to fill the bill. This class of nineteen ten you know Where could you 13nd their betters To place the credit where Itis due To our teachers we are debtors. Mark Hopkins on a log itis said , With a boy could make a college, This sure is saying a good deal7 No doubt he had some knowledge. But we take off 0111 hats to those W ho striving to clear the mind of fogs, Keep a hundred- fifteen girls and boys Too busy to sit round on legs. They set us Herculean tasks As knights of old should carry When we were fresh and green and new, Of grave professms scary. But we did our best and won the goal Tho oft the way was stony, Too bad that now we have the spurs We Ive laid away the pony. Most everything has come our way To which we bent our will, Even Providence has been with us For we have our Grand-pa still. VVefve often tried his patience When excuses went on file, But we think that he half likes us By his hearty genial smile. We 711 meter forget where7er we go How we met in old room 0 Where everything had something to do With English History. Professor Bogarte grave, profound, With A-square as his helper, Taught us our mathematics sound, Maybe we didn7t swelter! W e sat up straight tried to look wise XV hen off this earth he led us To whirl around among the stars While Astronomy he fed us. With parallaxes, comets, tides, Or the distance to Neptune, We had our difficulties Like Kahn had with the 1110011. In this we gained some knowldge, Likewise we Ive had some fun, - Though we fear that Lucas still believes Thereis a dark side to the sun. In speaking of Astronomy Bogarte the best of critics, Says tiFor crushing self-importanee ITis good for Scientifies. II I erhaps W att knew some science But at Chapel they will say iiGo to room F for Physies7, There Cloud holds forth all day. Of mechanics and of fluids Of electricity and heat, His knowledge on these subjects It surely cant be beat.

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CLASS PROPHECY August Crosson HE other day I was offered a ride in Professor Williamsi automobile and was enjoying my- self, until we reached the corner of Green- wich and Water Streets where, due to the pre-oceu- pation of the ehauffer, we ran afoul of a lilitehing1 post on the sidewalk. After describing various geo- metrical figures in the air I settled peacefully in Pa Kinseyts lawn. While in a deep sleep on the afore- mentioned lawn, I had a Vision in which I was directed to deliver this message to the Scientific Class of 1910: ttWoe be unto them on that day, who have accused the prophets of impostureW My first vividly remembered idea was that I was watching the deciding game of the VVorld,s Championship Series, between the New York Giants and the Chiieago Cubs. The teams seemed evenly matched and it was hard to say who would win this 1935 Championship. After greeting the blue-eoated officer, Carl Brauehla, who is acting as Marshal, I glance at the frenzied crowd of bleacherites. Like the morning sun Garstkas face looms up, and Giles, Stineman, and Palmer are shouting encouragement to the pitcher of the Cubs. I hear Beverly, VVolford; Haines, and Puileyn encouraging the batter to iigive it a ride, tthit it a mile, etc. In the grand stand amid feminine shrieks I recognize the voices of Miss DeMareus and Seymour. And towering above them all is Miss Chopot, who is waving a pennant which is not torn in two. Lastly I look toward the diamond. In the box stands E. G. Galbraith in his character istie pose, hands high above his head, looking over his left shoulder at first base. He throws the ball NStrike tn, drawls the umpire, Frank B. Brown The next ball is hit by the batter but it is quickly gathered in by the shortstop and Raleigh Stone goes out for the third down. IVhen the tirst-basenian caught the ball, I noticed that he jabbed the base viciously with his foot. That look awakened oId memories and looking closer I recognized Leland Benton. He had learned that trick of being sure to touch the base back in Valpo. I left the grounds and came upon a 1 owling 1110b about to hang a poor wreteh to a tree. I was deeply grieved to see among it and apparently leaders of it such gentleinanly Seientifies and dignified business men as Edward Kupke, Harry Laskar, Edmund Cekul and Kyle Smith. Girls there are too in it. Rose Detlef, Ada Ebbinghans, Jesse Cooper, and, O horrors, Ione Gordon is shaking her tist in the via- tiinis face. I ask what has the man done that these ladies should leave their homes and occupations to wreak vengeance upon him. During a temporary stillness, Elmore Perry informs me that he has dared to insinuate that the Seientiiies of 1910 might not know as much as they thought they did. Pitying the man no longer, I went my way. Before me appeared a large building bearing the legend IiBogarte 8a Duston, Bankers. Pausing be- fore it I was greeted by Fred Fisher, who has just returned from the Pacific. He had been working on a whaling vessel. After overcoming his aversion to water, and learning how to swim, he was of service as a decoy for the whales which were shy. He said, Capt. Freeman Galbraith was a fine fellow to serve under. In company with him was Albert Craner, noted as a geologist. His specialty was fossil plants, especially ferns and rushes. His most noted discov- ery was a fossil ttclass-rush, found in the glacial drift at Valparaiso. The editor of the Fayette Daily Growler, Mr. DeForest H. Bell, entered and with him Senator H. M. Griffith who was engaged in framing a new Constitution of the United States. I entered the building and ascending to the seventh floor, after passing the Thomas School of Class-Cutting, con- ducted by Lowell J. Thomas, I entered the ofiices of Doctors Kiley and Jordan. While there, in comes George M. Hathway,wanting their endorsement for a preparation of his, warranted to remove the dis- coloration due to a blow in the eye. He says that he has the endorsement of Doctor Katherine Tseoff and the eminent surgeon, Doctor J. H. Smith. He toid me that Levant Thompson had just won the Worlds Ping Pong Championship held at Paris, Kentucky, the week before. That David Hostetler was getting rich furnishing tidawgs77 to universities for experi- mental purposes. That the talk of the town was the whirlwind speech delivered by J 0e Brown in the di- vorce ease of Frank Hutehison against his wife, Grace. Frank alleges cruel and inhuman treatment, declaring that his wife insists upon repeating her Scientific orations in her sleep. There is doubt that the opposing council, Ferdinand Haas, can hold his own against the impetuous Brown, although all will agree that Judge Shafer is impartial and Line biased. Descending t0 the street I had a hand-bill thrust into my hand, announcing a lecture at the opera house by the worlds greatest orator, Elmer Van Bus- kirk. I was mildly surprised to see that the subject was HHow to Become a BoxerW The salient points were to be illustrated by Mr. Van Buskirk and his Sparing partner, James Curran. Repairing to the opera house I took a box seat to watch the crowd. I was surprised to see Jessica Wright, Gladys Haw- kins, Ethel Cooper, and Carolyn VVhitloek, all bent on learning something of the noble art of self- defense. I learnt from the usher, Hi H. Sewer, that they had been recently married, and I marveled no longer. After listening to a splendid address of an hours length, I decided to turn my steps elsewhere. I strolled into James Lyons, cigar store and pur-