Valparaiso University - Beacon / Record Yearbook (Valparaiso, IN)

Text from Pages 1 - 48 of the 1910 volume:

GUS JONES Wholesale and Retail Mfgr. Sherbets, Ices, Ice Creams and Candies Phone 574 23 Main St, Cor. Franklin, Valparaiso Valparaisds P0pu1ar Priced Store? Lilienthal 8L Szold Dry Goods, Clothing, Shoes, Notions Ladies Ready-tO-Wear Garments and Gemfs Furnishings 3 East Main Street . Valparaiso, Indiana , L 0 OK! YES ! WOLFFS THE PLACF For Tailor-Made Suits and M67019 me'shmg at a Bamam 2? Special Discount on Merfs Furnishing during August SUITS TO ORDER $15.00 TO $50.00 Fifteen Hundred Selections in Fall Goods 25 R. P. WOLFE 5 East Main St. Valparaiso, Ind. SCIENTIFIC ANNUAL VALPARAISO UNIVERSITY IENCE HALL CLASS OF NINETEEN HUNDRED TEN a PROF. O. P. KINSEY CLASS OFFICERS FIRS T TERM H. M. Griffixth, President Tarl Brauchla, Vioe-President Delia Morris, Secretary Raleigh Stone, Treasurer Albert McKnight, Editor S. A. Hoffman, Yell Master SECOND TERM B. F. Shafer, President Carl La Rue, Vice-President F. Mae Chaucey, Secretary Frank D. Hutchinson, Treasurer August Crosson, Editor Elmer Van Buskirk, Yell Master THIRD TERM George Winter, President Otto E. Linderman, Vioe-President Ethel Cooper, Secretary Edith Seymour, Treasurer Ione Borden, Editor S. A. Hoffman, Yell Master F0 UR TH TERM Arthur W. Duston, President Irving G. La Rue, Vice-President Alice Harmon, Secretary Scott C. Knoll, Treasurer N. Ellsworth NVolford, Editor S. A. Hoffman7 Yell Master THE CHOSEN OF THE CLASS Robert H. Bogarte, Orator- Lenora W. Taylor, Poet Myra E. Jones, Historian August Crosson, Prophet Ilass M0tt0 Veritas Colors Purp1e and Gold CLASS PRESIDENTS BENJAMIN F. SHAFEK HARRY M. GRIFFITH GEORGE G. XVINTER ARTHUR W. DL'STON CLASS ROLL a Me thinketh it acordaunt t0 resoun, T0 telle you all the condicioun 0f eeh of hem, so as it semed me, And whiche they weren, and of what degree Ashcroft, Arthur Lee. . A bettre felawe sholde men noght fynde. Ault, Jesse W. F111 big he was of braun, and eek of bones. Baird, Mattie Jane. Of remedies of love she knew per-ehance, For she eoude of that art the olde daunee. Bell, Walter F. His studie was but 1ite1 0n the Bible. Bell, DeForrest H. He loved chivalrye ', Trouthe and honouir, fredom and curteisye. Bell, Rollie Rolando. He was as fresh as is the month of May. Benton; Leland H. The hot seiner had maad his hewe a1 broun; And, certeinly, he was a good felawe. Beverly, Squire S. Of nyee conscience took he no keep. Bogarte, Robert H. Bold of his speche, and wys, and wel y-taught And of manhod him lakkede right naught. Bordon, Ione. Curteys she was, discret, and debonaire, And compeignable, and bar hirself so faire Sin thilke day that she was seven night 01d. Brauehla, Henry Carl He looketh as it were a grim leoun. Briekley, H. Dwight. , A Him deynedi not to sette his foot to grounde. Brown, Joseph E. ' ,. v He knew the tavernes wel in every town. Budd, Lelia U. Hir gretteste oothe was but by seyny Loy. Cadwell, Florence I. ' . . In eurteisye was set fut rnoehe hir lest. C'allaway, Ora. . , . She was a worthy woman a1 hir lyve. Cekul, Edward C. l . Siviche glaringe eyen hadde he as an hare. Chauncey, Florence May. , . And she was wondrous fairrI undertake. Chopot, Rose Mary. I She was so charitable and s0 pitous. She Wolde wepe, if thet she saw a mous. Clendening, Garnet M. For sothe he was a worthy man with-alle. Cooper, Ethel and Jessie. And fresher than the May with flowers neive-- For with the rose colour strove their hewe. I noot which was the fairer of them two. Craner, Albert Ernest. A manly man, to been an abbot able. Crosson, August. Ful longe were his legges, and ful lene, Y-ka a staf, ther was no calf y-sene. Curran, James Leo. His mouth as greet was as a greet forneys. Dambrauckas, Adainos. Of his diete mesurable was he, For it was of no superfiutee. De Marcus, Cora M. Nought w01 I knowe the eompaignye of man. Detlef, Rose M. At mete wel y-taught was she with 51116, She leet no morsel from hir lippes falle. Donnelly, Lillian H. Er it were day, as was hir wone to do She was arisen, and already dight. Duston, Arthur W. This worthy man ful wel his wit bisette; Ther wiste n0 wight that he he was in dette. Ebbinghaus, Ada E. And sikerly she was of great disport, And ful plesaunt, and amiable of port. Fergusothames Garland. Of his stature he was of evene lengthe And wonderly delivere, and great of strengthe. Fisher, Fred Elmer. What, sholde he studie, and make himselven wood! Fischer, Amelia C. Hir hosen weren 0f fyn scarlet reed, F111 streite y-teyed, and shows ful moiste and newe. Fredd, Matthias J. God loved he best withal his hole herte. Galbraith, Freeman. His purehas was ful bettre than his rente. Galbraith, E. G. A better envynedman was nevere noon. Garstka, W. Valentine. Of his eomplexioun he was sangwyn. Giles, Nathan B. , - . And he was not right fat, I undertake. But Ioked holwe, and ther-to soberly. Gilmore, Cora A. That of hir smyling was ful simple and coy. Gordon, Ione. Her longe beer was kembd bihynde her bak, As any ravenes fether it shoon for-blak. Graham, Mary J. For treively ye have as mery a stevene, As any aungel hath. that is in hevene. Griffith, Harry Morton. Is likned til-a fish that is. waterless. Grove, D. A. Curteys he was and lowly 0f servyse Ther was no man nowher s0 vertuons. Grossman, Louis J . Discreet he was. and of great reverence. Hass, Ferdinand F. To liven in delyt was evere his wone. Haines, Russel S. And of his port as ineek as is a mayde. He never yet no viieinye ne sayde. Harmon, Alice I. Hir nose tretys; her eyen greye as glas; Hir mouth ful slnal, and ther-to soft and reed, But sikerly she hadde a fair forheed. Hathaway, George M. , A voys he hadde as smal as hath a goat. Hawkins, Gladys. In paeience ladde a ful simple lyf. Hess, Harry Loraine. His vois was inerier than the Inerye organ On messe-dayes that in the ehircle gen. Hoffman, Samuel A. Now is me shape eternally t0 dwelle Noght in purgatorie, but in helle. IIostetler, David J . Ek thereto he was right a mery man. Hutchison, Frank D. Nowhere s0 bisy a man as he ther nas. And yet he seined bisier than he was. t Johnson, John T. Hardy he was. and wys to undertake. Jones, Myra Emily. The goute lette hir noething for to daunee. Jordan, Calvin C. His heed was balled. that shoon as any glas. Jurow, Sam. Benigne he was. and wonder diligent. Kiley, John E. He knew the cause of everieh maladye. Klimas, Ignas J. He was also a lerned man, a clerk. Klockow, For, hardily, she was not undergrowe. Knoll, Scott C. And as a leoun he his loking caste Of fyve and twenty yeer of age I caste. Kupke, Edward H. His eyen twinkled in his heed aright. LaRue, Irving G. But a1 be that he was a philosophre Yet hadde he but litel gold in eofre. LaRue, Carl D. A large man he was with eyen stepe. Lasker, Harry L. Than wolde he speke no word but Latyn. Linderman, Otto E. And eerteinly he hadde a mery note. Lonsway, Maurice J. So hote he lovede, that by nightertale He sleep namore than doth a nightingale, Lueas, Olive 0. This ilke monk leet olde thinges pace And held after the neive world the space. Lyons, J aines. His botes clasped faire and fetishly. 3100mm, Robert D. A not-heed hadde he, with a brown Visage. McKnight, Albert. He was a varray parfit gentil Knight. MeVViHiams, Alyce. F111 wei she song the service divyne Enterned in hir nose ful semely. Mead, Ernest 0. Of twenty year of age he was, I gesse. Mikolaitis, Casimer J . Ther-to he strong was as a champioun. Milburn, Laura Belle. Of studie took she most cure and most hede. Miller, Harry F. VVeleoude he singe and pleyen on a rote. Moorinan, Emma Theresa. And on her- heed a hat As brood as is a bokeler or a targe. Morris, Delia. In felawesehip wel coude she Iaughe and carpe. Palmer, H. Sherrill. But riehe he was of holy thoght and werk. Papish, Jacob. iAnd thereto hadde he riden tno man ferrei As well in eristendom as heth ernesse. And evere honoured for his worthinesse. Perry, Elmore He hadde maad fUI many a marriage Of yonge wommen, at his owne cost. Pfanstiel, Robert. For par amour I loved hir first er throw. Plumer, Ira Lee. The fairnesse of that lady that I see, Is cause of a1 my crying and my wo. Pulleyn, Manley L. His wit is short, ye may wel understonde. Quick, Clarence. And quick he was, and chirped as a sparwe. Quinnell, Helen M. V F111 semely after hir mete she ranghte. Reetinwall. Ida Grace. And al was conscience and tender herte. Seymorer, Edith. Was turned from a womman to a bere. Shafer, Benjamin F. But on his lady yet caste he his ye. Slusser, Elsie E. And French she spak ful faire and fetishly. Smith, Kyle And he was Clad in cote and hood of grene. Smith, Joseph H. In hope to stonden in his lady grace Embrouded was he. as it were a mede. Sower, Henry H. He was not pale as a for-pyned goost. Sprowls, J W. 111s eyen stepe and r011111ge 111 his heed. Stineman Ira. He may not W epe a1- thogh him sore smerte. Stone Calvin Perry. Not 0 word spak he more than was nede, And that was seyd 111 forum and 16V erence And short and quick, and 1111 01 11y sentence. Stone Ra1eigh W And eek h1s herte hadde co111pass101111 01 women. Strait, Mary E. Y- clothed was she fresh. Strate, Lester K. With us ther was a Doctor 01 Ph1syk In 2111 this w 0r1d 11e W as ther 110011 him 1yke. Stuenkel Franceha. 1111' yelow heer VVas broyded 111 a tresse Bihynde h1r back, a yarde long, I gesse. Szofranauckas, Stasys. He was a lord 1111 fat and 111 good point. Take, Lena Frances. And as an aungel hevenly she songe. Taylor Lenora V17. 1-111- dyete was accordant to her cote. Repleccioun me made hir nevere syk. Thompson, Levant. His top was dokked ka a preest 131101 mn. Tsecoff, Katherine. She hadde passed many a straunge 1streem1. Van Buskirk, Elmer. Who may not ben a 1001, 11 that he Love? 1171111a111s, Grace. We a11e desyren, 11 1t might be, To han housbondes hardy, wyse, and free. Winter George G. And g1ad1y wolde he lerne and gladly teL'he. Wolfard N Ellsworth. A man moot nedes love maugree 111s heed. He may not flee 1t thogh he s11 01de be deed Al be she mayde or widwe or L11Ls w yf W right, Jessica 0 I desyre to beLn a maydLn a1 my 1y1' Ne nevre w01 I be no love 116 VVVf. I prey you to forgave it me Al have I not set 1011: 111 hir degree Here 111 this tale, as that they sholde stondc, My wit is short, ye may wel underatande. THE CLASS COMMENCEMENT WEEK SATURDAY, AUG. 6th, 10:00 A. M. Class Day Exercises at Sheridan Beach 2? SATURDAY, AUG. 13th, 7:30 P. M. Reception to Class of 1910 At home of Mr. and Mrs. Kinsey 2? SUNDAY, AUG. 14th, 8:00 P. M. Baccalaureate Address in Auditorium By Prof. B. F. Williams ,0: WEDNESDAY, AUG. 17th, 8:00 P. M. Alumni Banquet in South Hall g5 THURSDAY, AUG. 18th, 8:00 P. M. Commencement Exercises in Auditorium PROF. H. B. BROWN PRESIDENTS ADDRESS Arthur W. Duston ELLOVV Classmates, Ladies and Gentlemenel face the performance of this honored duty with considerable fear and apprehension, realizing as I do, an incapacity to discharge worthily the responsibility before me. Would that my talents were adequate to this occasion. However, I willingly proffer them to you, and though the real essence of the program is to follow later, I trust that we may with pleasure briefly note some of the things which immediately concern us as members of this Scientific Class. To the heart which is awake to the spirit of this occasion springs a feeling mingled with joy and s0rr0w,-joy in the anticipation of success that we will achieve in'the application of truths we have learned, sorrow in the thoughts of separation. In many respects it seems to me, this is a wonderful class. With our one hundred eleven members, a number unsurpassed by any class within the history of the University, representing twenty-seven great states and three foreign lands, we can, I think, with- out overstepping the bounds of modesty7 at least feel a sense of class pride. During the brief period in which our associa- tions have been in common, our fellowship has been a source of much strength and culture. Our past dif- ferences we can now enjoy. We can appreciate them as being helpful and inspiring, stimulating to action our otherwise dormant faculties. This occasion naturally turns our minds back to the field of the Scientiiic Course which we are just completing, and with but a transient glance th ere appears to the mind of the observer a world of wonder and admiration; wonder in the vastness of the field of science and, knowledge and admiration for those who so willingly sacrifice social pleasures that they may bear new truths into the world of civilization. Reverently do we feel toward those who have so carefully worked out these laws and their universal application. We are living in the age of a great revolution. No longer are we to be governed by tradition and superstition, by ideas inherited from minds long deniiss. Fact and fallacy, except perhaps in thier superficial aspect, are being Viewed with a greater and greater degree of divergency. Men have hoped for years that conditions might eventually be thus. Steadily and irresistibly modern science has been en- larging its domain, like a masterful conqueror des- tined to bring under its sway the whole world of truth. Wherever science has placed its flag super- stitiion, falsehood and ignorance have tied. And we as lovers of truth are grateful for every bit of terri- tory which it has wrested from them. It has brought to mankind vastcr and nobler conceptions of the world and the universe, a new power oven nature, new weapons against disease, a new understanding of the distant past and a new unity among men. In another and not less glorious way it has exercised a profound influence for good. It has taught the golden value of truth, modesty and candor. It has promoted a greater respect for morality by teaching people to think in a straight line, to recognize a real cause for all phenomena and to obey naturels laws or suffer punishment. The supreme importance of science to civilization can be full appreciated only by those who have given their entire service for the pro- motion of- its cause. As zealous students we have also found much pleasure in the richness of literature. It has broad- ened our intellect by acquainting us with the manners and customs which disclose industrial characteristics of a people. Many of us have learned to find unfad- ing joy and lasting friendship with some great author who has voiced emotions in harmony with ours. Literature in all its glory cheers and sustains. inspires and uplifts and lights the path for all of us. In our research through the lore which we have in- herited from the minds of the past. our ambitions have been one. And whatever course we choose as a sourse of our livelihood when we leave this institu- tion. we realize that we must ever direct our ambi- tions toward that ideal of which the memory of our maker is a lasting symb01,ethe ideal of truth. Our days in Valparaiso University are now almost goneedays which once seemed would carry away all our troubles and leave us free and inde- pendent. Yet when we can no longer know their pleasures, no longer share their abounding treasures, but are launched into the sea of strife and struggle our spirits will cleave to remain with them. As we leave 0111 Alma Mater we go freighted with happy memories of student days and with the kindest re- gards to Professor Kinsey and all our instruetons who have with such earnestness endeavored to inetil within us a fervent passion for all things pure and true. THE FACULTY PROF. J. F. ROESSLER PROF. A. A. WILLIAMS PROF. L. F. BENNETT RRQE M.- L- WEEMS CLASS ORATION Robert H . Bogarte VOLUTION. is the mightiest and loftiest process E known to mankind. It not only affects the entire vegetable kingdom but sways power- fully all animal life from the simple protozoa to that complex and noble creatureeinan; We have good reason to believe that every variety of life originally sprang from the lowest form of protoplasm and passed very, very slowly through higher states until it iinally arrived at a certain temporary destination. This change from one condition to another has been, as far as we can see, ultimately for the better. Necessarily there have been forces acting on and delaying this upward procession, but happily they have been minor forees and only retarded advance- ment rather than caused retrogression. What then could be nobler or more niajestie than this constant progression of all life toward perfection? Man is the highest being this process has as yet produced, so it now rests with him to make an ap- proach nearer the ideal. Anda indeed, there lives no real man but that desires to benefit the environment in which he exists. In contemplating this undertak- ing he is immediately confronted with the question, how shall I set about this task? what can I do that will yield the greatest returns? To me the answer is inevitable; he can do nothing more sublime than in tentionally to aid this process of evolution. With this in View it will be necessary to know how a mere individual can assist in that great movement. Per- haps the only clue can be found by going back and examining the history of evolution. From what sources and how has it received its impetus through former ages? Take for example the fish: long ages ago it was the highest form of life. By some accident or infin- eneed by some supreme power. have it as you will. a small group of these animals were separated from the rest of their kind and placed in a new environ- ment. Here the conditions necessary for life were greatly different from those to which they were ae- eustomed, so different in fact. that many could not survive them and died. Some few. however7 slowly adapted themselves to the new surroundings and in doing so beearne slightly changed in form. Through ages and ages they gradually grew more habituated to the various influences until at last they developed into an entirely different animal. Thus by the power of those few who separated from the rest of their class and stood alone, life was advanced one step nearer perfection. This is the clue for which we have been searching. Man can perform his greatest function by standing aloof from the masses, that is, by Independence. Heretofore the most remarkable change has been, probably, the physical. XVe ean not intention- ally change our physical being but it is possible to better our social, moral and aesthetic natures. This is undoubtedly best accomplished by independence. Every man and woman is endowed with some origi- nal genius and it is in the cultivation of this that our h ope lies. Unfortunately, however, it seems to be the tendaney of the individual to suppress this godlike instinet and'rather force himself to follow the deep eut gorge of precedent than stand on a loftier spot and believe things as he sees them. If this tendaney predominates, the progress we have already made will not only cease but we shall recede again to a lower. stage. If, on the other hand, we can produce men strong enough to have. faith in their own: thoughts then, in accordance with the rigid laws of evolution, we must develop into a higher state. In choosing a station in life men too often fail to ask themselves, what would suit my character and disposition? or, what would allow the best and high- est in me to have free play and- enable it to thriveh Instead they feebly ask, what is suitable to my posi- tion? what is usually done by persons of my station? Too often they subjugate themselves to custom rather than encourage any inclination except for what is customary. The trouble is men think their social and other conditions are good enough for them because they were good enough for their fathers be- fore them. It is no detriment that they should travel the conventional highway; indeed, precedent ought to be followed to a certain extent, otherwise self-re- liant men with their advances would be of no use e:- eept to themselves. The harm lies in the fact that they accept conditions as they are, unqualified, with- out scrutinizing them and applying them to their own well being. If one of these meek advocates of custom, who believes it turbulent and riotous to be independent and oppose the common trend of things. would take the trouble. to examine the source of the very customs he follows he would find that they sprang from the soul of one or two men, who stood alone and were even persecuted for their independ- ence whieh afterwards proved so blessed. Emerson and Carlyle both insist that every institution is the shadow of some great man. A single man with a great. strong individuality has power enough to speak his beliefs, and others, hearing the same senti- ments voieed that they themselves possessed but weakly crushed, soon take courage and follow tliis hero. The greatest institution we have. Christianity. has more constituents than any other body, still it is a stream whose source and impetus came from one lonely man. And so throughout we find society divided into a comparatively few sects each one real- ly glorifying a single self-reliant individual. How true it is, then, that Hall history is the biography of a few great men?H men who have engendered our advancement by farsightedness and independence. Moved by this same idea, Lowell said: Count me oier earth,s chosen heroesr-they were souls that stood alone, While the men they agonized for hurled the contu- melious stone, Stood serene, and down the future saw the golden beam incline T0 the side of perfect justice, mastered by their faith divine, By one Inan7s plain truth to manhood and t0 Godls supreme design. But as has always been the ease in evolution, we find in this matter of independence two opposing forces. One group of individuals uses its originality for im- provement and the other is merely a dragathe heaviest burden the truly great men have to bear. Someone has called the one a god and the other a beast. As I have suggested before, the beast is in- dependent without being great. To be truly great one must possess this faculty of independence, but at the same time must be able to sympathize with and assimilate the predominating authority. This is the god. He is broad enough to see the right as well as the wrong in everything and follows this right as far as will assist him. At the same time he insists on his own originality and supplements the deficiency in custom with this. The beast can not appreciate the tendencies of his time and stands obstinately alone - he is isolated, not truly independent. Tennyson eX- pressed his feeling concerning these men when he said, ttI envy not the beast that takes His license in the field of time. Unfettefd by the sense of crime, To whom a conscience never wakesW Here, then, lurks the danger of independence-the retarding force, the beast, lacks sympathy. But as it has before been true that these negative forces have been subordinate to the upward movement, Why should we lack faith and fear now that the beast can triumph over the god? No, this is no reason for sup- pressing what spontaneity we possess. Nor should one become discouraged if at iirst he is taunted or abused on account of his seemingly radical ideas. Everyone lives in a universe of his own and perhaps your world is so far ahead of your aeouserys that he is not able to recognize the good in it. All great men dwell in a universe so much in ad- vance of their age that sometimes it takes posterity centuries before it can sympathize with their lofty thinking. These are the men who are first to plunge into an unknown chaos and snatch us from the claws of custom. They are the motive power of evolution. Because they have broken their fetters and become a mark for the society which has not yet succeeded in reducing them to commonplace, why should they be termed ttwild,l or tterratie any more than one should complain of the Niagara river for not flowing evenly down its course like a sluggish Dutch canal. It is not that they are eccentric but that we are weak. The ordinary man lays his original idea aside because it sprang from his genius and is, perhaps, contrary to custom. We should not be satisned to entrust this great divine gift of independence into the hands of a few, who through its power become heroes. It is ours7 and we should employ it. Progress and the attain- ment of perfection will never be realized through the ideas of others but in the independent development of ourselves. ttNot in their houses stand the stars But oler the pinnacles of thine W PROF. M. E. BOGARTE PROF. KATHRINE CARVER ' PROF. J. H. CLOUD CLASS HISTORY Myra E. J ones NE definition of history is that it is a record of events, and as that is usually dry and dusty, I promise no deviation from the ordinary so I advise you all to provide yourselves with whisk brooms that you may prepare to enjoy the program following. Again history is either sacred or profane, since this is not sacred you may use your own judg- ment, and describe it as you will. It Surely is not hard to select a number of his- torians in a Class like this, after our iinstruetion in English history, and doubtless from our prophet you will learn of many wonderful historians now in the embroyonie stage of development. In after years when the inevitable and baffling examination ques- tion: name three great historians and one of the principal works of each, is presented, the name of your humble servant and the Chronicle of the Class of 1910 will come to your mind and head the list. Of course I could easily write out the history and read the pedigree of some, but to attempt the life history of all the members of the class would be impossible, so I will endeavor only to give the hap- penings of the greatest importance concerning the class as a whole. In history little opportunity is offered for wittieisms, so anything of that nature which came to my mind I immediately passed over to the poetess and prophet. This explanation will ae- eount for the extraordinary brillianey of their pro- duetions. Ten, twenty and thirty years ago there appeared throughout the common schools of the United States and other parts of the world, one hundred and thir- teen exceptionally bright children. These young;r people overcoming many diflieulties on September 20, 1909, assembled at Valparaiso University with the determination to' secure a diploma or two, a MB. SW degree and whatever else they could, un- known to the public. There were sixteen more who lacked the necessary amount of determination and fell by the wayside. In the beginning siX were married, and it is told by good authority that eight more are contemplating the entering of bondage; and the honeymoon trips will be homeward to ask forgiveness and a little change. A number of us were here together last year, but then, adoring the Senior Scientifies, had little time to think of each other. During the administraa tion of Griffith and Brauehla all became acquainted and a feeling of eomradship was established which has lasted all year. During the presidency of Shafer a number of most interestiing meetings were held. Then we had opportunity for practising Parliamentary Law. Many a Scientific who was too busy to attend class, owes his grade of eighty or eighty-two, in Parliamentary Law, to the knowledge he absorbed from the class meetings. It was here we learned more than in the regular oration sections, who were the real orators of our class; and we have some, noted throughout the school, who are said to possess Cieeronian pro- elivities. Here were revealed plots, eounter-plots and conspiracies Vieing with those of Catiline, the details of which even in my official capacity I was unable to learn. During this term, after much debat- ing, the famous by-laws were passed, that they might be set aside in case they should ever need to be used. After six months of cold weather it seemed a shame to think of enduring winter all summer, but the rule of winter lasted until the weather was such that even the suggestion of winter was a relief. The baseball season was opened May ninth with a class rush, the Seientifies and Engineers versus the Lawyers and Pharmies. The Lawyers were in com- Inand of the back stop at University Park and some had spent the night there. The momentum is equal to the mass times the velocity, and when the mass is seventy-flve Seientifres plus thirty Engineers, with a velocity too great to be registered, the Lawyers, with even their slight knowledge of science and mathe- matics, figured out the momentum to be unlimited or irresistible, and as they were not the much talked of Himmovable body77 were forced from their strong- hold, and the ruin of the back-stop was in control of the Seientiiics. The ball team through the season has had the support of the class especially the girls, who at next to the last game very nearly started a class rush, which would have ended, of course, with honor to the Seientifies, as did the game that day and so many other days. Owing to the contesting of some of the games by the Engineers ; they won more points dur- ing the season than any other team. Now the pen- nant, which belonged to the Scientific Class last sea- son and in reality does this year, instead of decorat- ing the headquarters of the Engineers, wherever that is, is not to be seen there; for the much talked of pennant exists only in theory; practically it is nihil. The first entertainment of the year was a social, the last Tuesday of the term. It was presided over bythe God of merriment. This was equaled only by the social of the second term held in Eloeution Hall. One of the numbers on the program worthy of men- tion was the Priscilla and J ohn Alden stunt executed by two of our worthy faculty. The social event of the third term was a banquet at Altruria. Here our professor in English attributed any faults and deficiencies of the members of the faculty to the fact that they had no literary training with him. We may do better. Surely one thing learned in Litera- ture class, besides courtesy, cannot be forgotten nor outgrown and that is the generosity with which pop- corn was served every day at three oleloek. All through the year a part of each day was spent in the class room and during this term even a few of the class can be found with four or five hours work. Out of the entire class sixty-seven, a great per cent of them boys, choose to walk, or ride7 the rough, thorny way of Latin instead of the tranquil easy rode of the German student. The laboratory work, I mean sky work, in astronomy is being made a specialty of by a number of the boys with the help of lady assistants. Astronomy is a heavy subject re- quiring nearly thirty minutes a day of preparation. For the girls some parts of it are especially hard, the angle of declination being almost as hard to decline as an invitation to a ball. In electricity there should have been light enough for all; but a heavy Cloud overhung, and to some the book seemed to resemble ttThe Light that Failed. 7t During the class work in physiology, Professor Weems sacrificed the lives of nine hundred and ninety-one dogs, actual count. Some after a diet of mushrooms and pepperesauee were submitted to a lung capacity test and a determination of which was most fearfulethe bark or the bite. Others were set to chasing the iieeing rabbit, and the wisemen then estimated the degree of muscular fatigue by trans- ferring the ttpants,7 of one dog to the slothfnl body of another. This in part accounts for the scarcity of dogs and the high price of meat. At zoology lectures we had opportunity to learn everything from how to kill all parasites, how to prolong life indefinitely, what is the color of snakes eyebrows, to the Destiny of man ; but the definition: an organic individual is a ttsanitaryll mass of living matter, though originated by Professor Bennett seems a little faulty. Some masses of living matter, that really ought to be classed as organic individuals, I am afraid would not pass as sanitary. A students riot took place the night of the Media eal commencement. No Scientific ever told me he was in this, but we were doubtless represented to such an extent that it may be recorded in our his- tory. A number of students, knowing of the pres- ence of so many doctors, who could apply first aid to the injured, marched down town and back. A Visi- tor, a few days later, after reading accounts of this in the Chicago papers, was surprised to learn that buildings were still standing both on the Hill and in the down-town districts. July sixteenth the fairest women and the brav- est men of the University, in short the Scientific Class, met and posed for a group picture. Professor Kinsey and Professor Bennett in the costume of a grave-digger, were the only members of the facnltv who honored us with their presence. Tho Bryan has never reached the distinction of the Presidential chair we now have for president one of his neighboring statesmen, who resembles him not only in character but also in features, who as a poli- tician is much more successful than William Jen- nings, being elected by the unanimous vote of the Class. We go outenot as a classebut as individuals. Each must make his own history; the history of the following years may be greatly varied but it can hardly be more pleasant than that of the year just passed. Few years of our lives will be happier than those spent in college, so let each one think kindly of his associations here, and then we will realize-e ttHow unspeakably the lengthening of memories in common endears old friendsW PROF. G. D. TIMMONS PROF. B. F. WILLIAMS PROF. H. N. CARVER .IJ CLASS POEM Lenora W. Taylor RITING poetry is no fun V RI As anyone knows who Is tried it; I wasnit born for a poetess, No use to try to hide it. But I belong to a class on College Hill As good as ever they make Iem, So when they asked me to write some rhymes I hadn7t the heart to shake ,em, I knew Itd have to run a bluff When the task to me was hinted, But Walt Whitman he wrote worser stuff And managed to get his printed. I thot of subjects great and grand, In puzzling over topics Of temperance logic, myth and tale From the cold seas to the Tropics. I went to Sagers7, walked to Flint To look for inspiration But ne,er a thought would come to me Except it was quotation. I went to lectures, to debates, And listened, some, to preachers, But neter a subject there I heard T0 beat tiOurselves and Teachers. For we are the class, the only class, That ever trod the Hill, Mere lawyers, engineers and such DonIt begin to fill the bill. This class of nineteen ten you know Where could you 13nd their betters To place the credit where Itis due To our teachers we are debtors. Mark Hopkins on a log itis said , With a boy could make a college, This sure is saying a good deal7 No doubt he had some knowledge. But we take off 0111 hats to those W ho striving to clear the mind of fogs, Keep a hundred- fifteen girls and boys Too busy to sit round on legs. They set us Herculean tasks As knights of old should carry When we were fresh and green and new, Of grave professms scary. But we did our best and won the goal Tho oft the way was stony, Too bad that now we have the spurs We Ive laid away the pony. Most everything has come our way To which we bent our will, Even Providence has been with us For we have our Grand-pa still. VVefve often tried his patience When excuses went on file, But we think that he half likes us By his hearty genial smile. We 711 meter forget where7er we go How we met in old room 0 Where everything had something to do With English History. Professor Bogarte grave, profound, With A-square as his helper, Taught us our mathematics sound, Maybe we didn7t swelter! W e sat up straight tried to look wise XV hen off this earth he led us To whirl around among the stars While Astronomy he fed us. With parallaxes, comets, tides, Or the distance to Neptune, We had our difficulties Like Kahn had with the 1110011. In this we gained some knowldge, Likewise we Ive had some fun, - Though we fear that Lucas still believes Thereis a dark side to the sun. In speaking of Astronomy Bogarte the best of critics, Says tiFor crushing self-importanee ITis good for Scientifies. II I erhaps W att knew some science But at Chapel they will say iiGo to room F for Physies7, There Cloud holds forth all day. Of mechanics and of fluids Of electricity and heat, His knowledge on these subjects It surely cant be beat. But be sure you know of algebra Something more than just a smatter For he calls equations six foot long WA very simple matter. ,7 When he said in heat and fluids Likewise in sound and light llNow this is Very obvious7, We prepared to sit up all night. To keep the balance it is said To equals add just equals, To vary from this often brings Somewhat disastrous sequels. We found this out and you Will too, Little Freshie young and green, When you hit the road to algebra Under Roesseler, I ween. Be sure you know your axioms, And donlt you be to long In answering all his questions, 01' he,ll sing that little song. There is B. F. Who said he7d like A eross-section of our brains, VVeTe sure held find it wonderful And well worth all his pains. If he performed the operation He7d find then Ilm quiite sure7 More than one layer devoted. To the subject of Literature. To Milton, Wordworth and Carlyle To Tennyson and his graces, To heaven and earth and paradise And several other places. Old N oah knew the animals That praneed into his Ark, He named and called them two by two For he knew them all by heart. But our Bennet With his theory Of spontaneous generation Can trace their pedigrees, Iim sure, Dowu to our present station. So if youid like to know from Which Ancestral tree youlve sprung, And Who your old ancestors were, And how this world begun, Go to Professor Bennet And Whether Jew or iiunkey, lle7ll prove to you beyond a doubt You ire cousin to the monkey. To clear away the Latin snags When deep became the Water, We had Professor Carver And his most charming daughter. Shels a loyal Scientific, Classics elen obey her rule, And Latin verbs and idioms Just radiate from her stool. He is the teacher on the Hill Of superlative degree For adjectives describing him All end in ees-t- But to teachers kind and thoughle ,Tis time to say adieu, We leave you With regrets, and With Kind feelings not a few. VVelll take With us the memories Of our dear Alma Mater, To homes throughout all this broad land, And elen across the water. In the busy life hereafter Back Will come thoughts of her To all the girls of nineteen ten Whenever fudge they stir, While all the boys will have to do Is just to strike a light, And theyill dream of her in clouds of smoke, From out that old class-pipe. CLASS PROPHECY August Crosson HE other day I was offered a ride in Professor Williamsi automobile and was enjoying my- self, until we reached the corner of Green- wich and Water Streets where, due to the pre-oceu- pation of the ehauffer, we ran afoul of a lilitehing1 post on the sidewalk. After describing various geo- metrical figures in the air I settled peacefully in Pa Kinseyts lawn. While in a deep sleep on the afore- mentioned lawn, I had a Vision in which I was directed to deliver this message to the Scientific Class of 1910: ttWoe be unto them on that day, who have accused the prophets of impostureW My first vividly remembered idea was that I was watching the deciding game of the VVorld,s Championship Series, between the New York Giants and the Chiieago Cubs. The teams seemed evenly matched and it was hard to say who would win this 1935 Championship. After greeting the blue-eoated officer, Carl Brauehla, who is acting as Marshal, I glance at the frenzied crowd of bleacherites. Like the morning sun Garstkas face looms up, and Giles, Stineman, and Palmer are shouting encouragement to the pitcher of the Cubs. I hear Beverly, VVolford; Haines, and Puileyn encouraging the batter to iigive it a ride, tthit it a mile, etc. In the grand stand amid feminine shrieks I recognize the voices of Miss DeMareus and Seymour. And towering above them all is Miss Chopot, who is waving a pennant which is not torn in two. Lastly I look toward the diamond. In the box stands E. G. Galbraith in his character istie pose, hands high above his head, looking over his left shoulder at first base. He throws the ball NStrike tn, drawls the umpire, Frank B. Brown The next ball is hit by the batter but it is quickly gathered in by the shortstop and Raleigh Stone goes out for the third down. IVhen the tirst-basenian caught the ball, I noticed that he jabbed the base viciously with his foot. That look awakened oId memories and looking closer I recognized Leland Benton. He had learned that trick of being sure to touch the base back in Valpo. I left the grounds and came upon a 1 owling 1110b about to hang a poor wreteh to a tree. I was deeply grieved to see among it and apparently leaders of it such gentleinanly Seientifies and dignified business men as Edward Kupke, Harry Laskar, Edmund Cekul and Kyle Smith. Girls there are too in it. Rose Detlef, Ada Ebbinghans, Jesse Cooper, and, O horrors, Ione Gordon is shaking her tist in the via- tiinis face. I ask what has the man done that these ladies should leave their homes and occupations to wreak vengeance upon him. During a temporary stillness, Elmore Perry informs me that he has dared to insinuate that the Seientiiies of 1910 might not know as much as they thought they did. Pitying the man no longer, I went my way. Before me appeared a large building bearing the legend IiBogarte 8a Duston, Bankers. Pausing be- fore it I was greeted by Fred Fisher, who has just returned from the Pacific. He had been working on a whaling vessel. After overcoming his aversion to water, and learning how to swim, he was of service as a decoy for the whales which were shy. He said, Capt. Freeman Galbraith was a fine fellow to serve under. In company with him was Albert Craner, noted as a geologist. His specialty was fossil plants, especially ferns and rushes. His most noted discov- ery was a fossil ttclass-rush, found in the glacial drift at Valparaiso. The editor of the Fayette Daily Growler, Mr. DeForest H. Bell, entered and with him Senator H. M. Griffith who was engaged in framing a new Constitution of the United States. I entered the building and ascending to the seventh floor, after passing the Thomas School of Class-Cutting, con- ducted by Lowell J. Thomas, I entered the ofiices of Doctors Kiley and Jordan. While there, in comes George M. Hathway,wanting their endorsement for a preparation of his, warranted to remove the dis- coloration due to a blow in the eye. He says that he has the endorsement of Doctor Katherine Tseoff and the eminent surgeon, Doctor J. H. Smith. He toid me that Levant Thompson had just won the Worlds Ping Pong Championship held at Paris, Kentucky, the week before. That David Hostetler was getting rich furnishing tidawgs77 to universities for experi- mental purposes. That the talk of the town was the whirlwind speech delivered by J 0e Brown in the di- vorce ease of Frank Hutehison against his wife, Grace. Frank alleges cruel and inhuman treatment, declaring that his wife insists upon repeating her Scientific orations in her sleep. There is doubt that the opposing council, Ferdinand Haas, can hold his own against the impetuous Brown, although all will agree that Judge Shafer is impartial and Line biased. Descending t0 the street I had a hand-bill thrust into my hand, announcing a lecture at the opera house by the worlds greatest orator, Elmer Van Bus- kirk. I was mildly surprised to see that the subject was HHow to Become a BoxerW The salient points were to be illustrated by Mr. Van Buskirk and his Sparing partner, James Curran. Repairing to the opera house I took a box seat to watch the crowd. I was surprised to see Jessica Wright, Gladys Haw- kins, Ethel Cooper, and Carolyn VVhitloek, all bent on learning something of the noble art of self- defense. I learnt from the usher, Hi H. Sewer, that they had been recently married, and I marveled no longer. After listening to a splendid address of an hours length, I decided to turn my steps elsewhere. I strolled into James Lyons, cigar store and pur- chased a Van Buskirk cigar. Quite by accident I met my old friend, Congressman J. W. Sprowls. He told me that owing to his knowledge of Parliament- ary Law he had no difficulty, while speaker of the house, in deciding all disputed points. Together we attended the meeting of the American Educational Society. There we listened to addresses by such emi- nent scholars as Miss Gilmore, Professor of Phy- siology at Valparaiso, and Professor Amelia 0. Fisher, German at the same place. Professor Carl LaRue, Ph. D., of Chicago U. spoke on HThe New Religion7, and promised to speak on the Present, Past, or any other kind of religion the next time he got a chance. G. M. Clendenning, holding the chair of Botany at Cornell, followed him. Mr. and Mrs. S. A. Hoffman, noted educators of Chicago, were pres- ent. After noting on the program that famous chem- ist, J aeob Papish, would lecture about his new theory of matter, we departed. Going out we met Ione Borden successor to Miss Carver at Valparaiso, and Professor of Literature, Miss Elsie Mead 0f VVelles- ley. Barely had we reached the street when our at- tention was attracted by a procession carrying ban- ners with these inscriptions, HVotes for VVomenft HWe want our Rights, etc. I was flattered by the greeting I received from Miss Graham, and Miss Slusser the leaders, and following their example, the banner bearers, Laura Milburn, Ora Callaway, and Delia Morris did likewise. Miss Quinnell assured me that Joan of Are believed in VVomen7s Rights, and Miss Anna Kloekow wished to deliver a speech in German advocating them. As the procession passed by Miss Donnelly, who was standing near, invited us to hear a lecture delivered by Miss Lelia Budd. Hearing that it was a temperance lecture my friend Sprowls refused to go, so I must needs go alone. On my way I passed a ttStone it yard and saw the world7s greatest sculptor, Calvin P. at work on a statue of Doctor Lester K. Strait in memory of his invention of a hair tonic warranted to grow hair on the chin. Needing a button on my coat I entered a shop which above the door said ttTaylortl but when she saw it was lead, Lenora sent me next door to see the ttPlummerY, While there, I heard distinctly these words, HWhat has this got to do with the Church and State in England. Well it has got this to do.77 I looked around and saw Klin'ias reviewing a Scientific oration to be delivered as a toast that night at a banquet held in honor of Mr. Lonsway, a high dignitary of the Mormon Church, who had just arrived from Utah with several of his wives. Mr. Klimas wished me to vote for the Soeialistie ticket at the next election, declaring that their line up was not any worse than any other. As near as I could I obtained it. It was as follows: Matthias J. Fredd, Mayor. Charles F. Erwin, Comptroller. Adam Dambrauekas, tity Treasurer. Casimer J. Mikolaitis, Sam Jurow, Charles Vidi- kas, Aldermen. Stasys Szafrounaekas had been proposed for some office but unfortunately the gentleman making the nomination speech, Mr. Walter Bell, had developed a severe attack of loekjaw and so his name was With- drawn. Dismayed by the horrible fate of Mr. Bell, I beat a hasty retreat. Soon I was attracted by the peculiar antics of a group of people down the street who were making sundry sudden gestures with their hands. Drawing nearer I recognized among the crowd Messrs. MeCrum, Lucas, Harry Miller, and Ir Ving; LaRue, and Misses Mary Strait, Ida Reekten- wall, and Moorman, working under the direction of Scott Knoll. I learned that he was now conducting a school of fly catching, an art which he became adept in at Valparaiso. his pupils were now out doing field work. Collaring the instructor I preserved many flies 7 lives, while I chatted with him of old times. He invited me to dinner with him7 telling me that J esse W. Ault and his wife Alyce lived in that neighbor- hood, and that I should also meet Mr. and Mrs. John- son, formerly a Miss Steunkel. I declined as I had already accepted an invitation of Mr. Robert Pfan- stiel to dine and meet his wife known to me at school as Miss Harmon. I said good-bye to Knoll and entered the tiWhite Crow Laundryt, conducted by Clarence Quick, ttShirts cleaned and delivered while you waitY, There I picked up a magazine, tI was waiting, you seey and read a famous poem by Miss Mae Chauncey and glanced at an article by Mattie Baird, the noted Mathematician, on The Fourth Dimension In the mWhois Who and 'Why,7 column, I found men- tioned G. G. 'Winter, Governor of Ohio, and J. G. Fer- guson, one of the greatest lecturers on the Chautau- qua platform. I was interested by a treatise written by Myra E. Jones on Halley7s Comet7 and an adver- tisement of how to learn Latin seans'ion by corre- spondence, address R. R. Bell. Having only a few minutes before supper, I Visited the large W. A. McKnight Chemical Manu- facturing Co. Mr. McKnight introdued me to his private secretary, Lena F. Take, and calling his office boy, A. L. Asheraft, he directed him to show me about his works. I met and spoke to H. L. Hess and then was introduced to' the head chemist, Otto E. . Linderman, B. 8., of Valpo, Ch. E. of Boston NTech.H Mr. Linderman spoke a few words to his assistant, a tall, lean, black haired man, and then remained talk- ing to us. Something in the assistants bearing seemed familiar, and I wished he might turn around that I might see his face. My wishes were about to be gratified when, due to his carelessness, something went wrong with the apparatus. We ran for our lives and as the report of the explosion died away, I saw where the assistant stood a pair of enormously large feet, and then I knew. A voice thundered. HWoe be unto them on that day who have accused the prophets of e-Y, I opened my eyes and found myself gazing into two blue eyes through two pairs of spectacles while a gruE but kindly road said, ttO, Ah-h. He,s all right but it was a narrow escape. ON GIVING ADVICE BACCALAUREATE ADDRESS TO THE CLASS OF 1910 B. F. Williams Members of the Graduating Class of 1910, Ladies and Gentlemen: MAN and his son were once going with A their donkey to market. As they were walking along by its side a countryman passed them and said: MYou fools, what is a donkey for but to ride upontw So the man put the boy on the donkey and they went on their way. But soon they passed a group of men, - one of whom said: HSee that lazy youngster. he lets his father walk while he rides.H So the man ordered his boy to get off and got on himself. But they hadnit gone far when they passed two women, one of whom said to the other: tiShaine on that lazy lout to let his poor little son trudge alongfi Well, the man didnt know what to do, but at last he took lis boy up before him on the donkey. By this time .they had come to the town, and the passers-by began to jeer and point at them. The man stopped and asked what they were scoffing at. The men said: HArenlt you ashamed of yourself for overloading. that poor donkey of yours you and your hulking sonti, The man and boy got off and tried to think what to do. They thought and they thought. till at last t1 ey cut down a pole, tied the donkeyis feet to it, and raised the pole and the donkey to their shoulders. They went along amid the laughter of all who met them till they came to Market Bridge, wl en tl e donkey. getting one of his feet loose. kicked out and caused the boy to drop his end of the pole. In the struggle the donkey fell over the bridge, and lis fore feet being tied together he was drowned. The authorship of this sad and tragic, bit of fie- tion is popularly ascribed to a man named Aesop who lived in Greece a good while ago. Those patient plodding scholars who like to be exact tell 11s that very little is known about this Mr. Aesop. and some of them say that there is little probability that he had much if anything to do with the fables passing under his name, Isee little reason, however. for making a fuss about it, and so I shall assume that to Aesop belongs the honor. And since so little is known for sure about him, I am practically unhain- pered by facts and can say of him whatever I please. This Aesop, then, I take it, was a specialistahis specialty being tabloid morals for obtuse mortals. There is a tradition that he wrote for kings and dig- nitaries, but I am inclined to think that he wrote for the tplain peoplef whom American politicians so much admireEsinee there are so many of them and each one has a vote. Aesop apparently was no mys tic, but had a prosaic, sehoolmastensort of a mind with a redeeming touch of humor, and was bent above all on being understood. ' I have often regretted that Aesop hadn,t lived in England in the nineteenth century so that Robert Browning might have taken a course in composition and rhetoric under him, and I can even imagine a recommendation that he might have given Robert at the end of the course: To whom it may concern: This is to certify that Robert Browning has been under my instruction in composition and rhetoric for two terms, and he has made such rapid progress that not only is he able to distinguish between a syneedoche and a parabola, but also to write a line now and then the aesthetic and moral meaning of which is intellie gible even to himself. He is, in my opinion, especial- ly well qualified to teach in a Young La-diesi Semin- ary, or to give interpretative lectures to Literary Clubs, and I feel confident that no mistake would be made in choosing him for such a position. Very sin- cerely yours, Aesop. Well, this Aesop was unwilling to take any chances even on the wayfaring 1112111780 he always carefully explained what his fables were meant to teach. For example the story I read to you has a moral coda appended which is to this effect: Try to please everybody and you will please nobodyenot to mention the loss of donkeys and things. But what Aesop didnt see. what the average moralist usually doesnt see, was the inconsistency in his own little preaehment. If I were to offer a prize of three pack- ages of Grape-nuts, the modern brain-food, to every one in this audience who could point out the incon- sistency, 1,111 afraid an extra force of workmen would have to be imported into Battle Creek. How- ever. as I also wish to be understood, I. too, will take no eh anees and will say that Aesop was advising peo- ple not to take advice, which fact renders the moral null, void and of no effect. For if they were not to take advice, then they wouldnt take his advice not to take advice,-whieh statement ought to be as dear as one of Aesopis own morals. Now while I am speaking in this thoroughly transparent fashion-in which I swear I use no art at allel ought to an- nounce my theme. so far at least as I may choose to stick to a theme. and it is this: HOn Giving AdvieeW It appears to me that this ought to be a very; appropriate subject. for a baccalaureate address. yet strange as it may appear I do not remember ever to have heard or read one on this topic. Appropriatee for the chief ingredient of most baccalaureate sera moms and addresses is certainly advice; the rest is only flavoring extract and effervescent fluid. Or if not appropriate, then at least it ought to be permis- sible for one such address to consider for a little. while the substance of which many of the others are composed. It. used to be customary at graduation time to pick out the brightest pupil of the class and have him stand and deliver a hortatory valedietory winding up with gLet us then be up and doingK or words to that effect. As I recall these valedietories CI never. gave one myselfl, they ran something like this: HWe should all have high ideals. Where would XVashing- ton have been without high ideals? Where would Lincoln havebeen without high ideals? Therefore, let us all have high idealsfi Valedictories in lzzie years,hmvevenhave said their vales, and their return is little more desired than would be an encore of tie Fourth of July. I 15nd myself at this time. altlioz'gh fully appreciative of the courtesy of this Class in asking me to speak to them and to you, alnutst wit:- ing that baccalaureate addresses might pass into a siiniliar desuetude. I may note, though, this distinction lGl'xZOOn valedietories and baeealauretories. The valeiieter- ian in all his pride had, nevertheless, to assrine a modest and becoming equality, and say: Let us. The baccalaureate speaker, on the contrary, is not subject to the same limiting conditions, but may speak authoritatively, and say: Do this; shun tltat. Although perehanee a flat failure himself, none the less he is supposed to be, at least apparently sup; poses himself to be, capable of giving safe and sound exhortation to tens or hundreds of young persons of various temperaments, capabilities and ideals. If an occasion of this kind were not naturally solemn, one would be tempted to say that this is a big, hoaxy joke. I have wondered sometimes what the effect would be if a baccalaureate speaker were honestly to say: Young people, I do not know enough about anything, least of all about you, to give you anyi sensible advice, so I believe I711 just talk about other things. To be sure, in more recent years there has been less direct advice to members of a graduating class, and now the tendency is toward pointing out to the Nation its pitfalls and pet follies. Ilin not at all sure, though, that the Nation listens very attentively or pays any heed to this gratuitous admonition. When I think of the thousands of such addresses given yearly in Grammar Schools, High Schools, Colleges and Universities, I cant help thinking of blank cartridges, those noisy things whose only Vir- tue is comparative harmlessness. I have read a good many of these recent addresses in whole or in part. and I note a generally pessimistic tone in many of; them. Summarized, they amount to about this: The Country is in a bad way; it has been leading a riot- ous, prodigal life. until not only is its voice husky. but it has really lost its pristine health and Vigor as well as the moral tone of earlier years. It has moral and physical diabetes, sarcoma, appendicitis, gall- stones and gout. It must diet religiously for a time. and then submit to the surgeonis knife. Well, this is an old tune. Jeremiah and Isaiah sang it. Cicero industriously tive-iingered it, and in modern times it has been the favorite solo number of Carlyle, Ruskin and Tolstoy. Naturally it is in the minor key, and makes liberal use of diseords. A young man is buoyant, hopeful, idealistic; so is a young nation; a niicldleeaged man is thoughtful, prac- tical, prosaic; so is a iniddle-aged nation; an old man tends toward pessimism. distrust, inelaneolia; so does an old nation. But America is not an old nation, and just as we dislike to hear a young man or a man of niiddle-age always speaking as if he were an oetogen- arian, so this pessimistic outlook in America seems premature. Change is not necessarily deterioration, but rather is the law of life; and the spirit of honor- did not die with Jefferson and Lincoln. These later addresses generally close with a little well-meant flattery to the graduating classes, telling them that though the country has lost its savor, it is through them, the salt of the earth, that the savor may be restored. This doubtless does little. harm; and anyhow one is entitled to feel proud and important on two occasions of his life: namely, on graduation and e on one other occasion. So far, too, as I am able to discover, this feeling of importance is usually ephemeral, and it is therefore only fair that one should not be cheated out of his rightful inheri- tanee. Nevertheless, when we stop to think of this mat- ter of giving advice in allopathie allotments, we can- not help noticing seine amusing inconsistencies and ineongruities. In the first place, a man in giving ad- Viee must speak either as a superior to inferiors, or from the standpoint of admitted failure. In the one ease, he impliedly says: See in me the benefieent re- sults of living according to the principles which I now urge upon you. I have fought the good fight; go thou, and do likewise. This attitude involves a naive, unconscious, Rooseveltian egoism the humor of which repays the one who takes the trouble to think about it. ttThere is nothingf says Addison. Hwhieh we receive with so much reluctance as ad- Viee. XVe look upon the man who gives it as offering an affront to our understanding, and treating us like children or idiots. We consider the instruction as an implicit censure, and the zeal which any one shows for our good on sueh an occasion, as a pieee of pre- sumption or iinpertinenee. The truth of it is, the person who pretends to advise, does, in that particu- lar, exercise a superiority over us. and can have no other reason for it, but that, in comparing us with himself. he thinks us defective either in our eonduet or our eharaeterY, In similar vein are Thoreauis Clever, eaustie words in Walden: ltIf I knew for a eertainty that a man was coming to my house with the conscious design of doing me good, I should run for my lifeW In the other ease, he will practically say: My life has been an ignominious failure. I was indiffer- ent in youth to education, and always I have been a shiftless spendthrift. careless of my money, my time, my reputation, my character. Look at me as a hora rible example. and profit by my experience. Be stud- ious, economical. industrious, deeorous and'you will have your reward, as I have had mine; As to this latter, why should we believe that a man who is an acknowledged failure-eand even this pathetic ad- mission reveals a peculiar vanity, saying, as it were: I had great innate capabilities, but alas l-why, I say, should we believe that a man who has failed at every- thing else can be a success at giving advice? Then again, advice must be general or specific. It must deal with broad generalizations supposed to be applicable to everybody, at least to a elass or group of persons, such as principles of character and conduct; or with particulars suitable for the indi-r Vidual. Now, the diftieulty in the one instance is that few things in the way of advice are universally ap- plicable, and these few have become haekneyed by wearisome and trite iteration. Suppose I advise you to be honest. You have heard that a thousand times and it falls cold and dead; and besides I do not wish to plagiarize the Ten Commandments. Or suppose I tell you to work hard. You have also heard that; before, and, moreover, many of you work too hard already. As to individual advice, it would seem that the one who essays to give it is obsessed with a pre- sumptuous, overweening self-eonfidenee. How can I; or how can any man pretend to have the wisdom necessary to offer advice to you as a sort of guide; book for this interesting tour which we call life? In the first place, we havent been over the whole road. Then, too, how can we be sure that we have chosen the best or the worst read? About all we can do is to tell you some of the pleasures and dangers, the- wayside shade, the winding streams and the undu- lating plains lost in the mystic haze of the horizon that we have seen; or the ruts and stones, bad bridges and worse hills that we have found. But you know already that these will likely be encoun- tered on any road. We can, indeed, suggest a good equipment in the way of extra tires and accessories, or, in other words, reserve Vitality and reserve preparation; or the need of careful renewals of gasoline and lubricating oil, which is to say continued watehfulness that head and heart do not run dry; or we may advise caution and patience and taking no more than your share of the roacl-whieh needs no interpretation. This we can do, and little more. How can I be specific and urge you to choose a certain profession, to be a farmer, teacher, physician, lawyer. banker? Do I have any extraordinary intuition, any nlagie insight into your capacities, inclinations and ideals that enables me to tell in which you would succeed best? Shall I ad- vise you individually to marry early, late, or not at all; to live in the country or city; to seek many friends or few; to save money like a miser or spend it generously like a prince? This would be specific advice, but what possible value could it have ? Seareely any man has the wisdom to guide his own life aright, can see failure after failure. mistake after mistake along the back track. That sharp turn he should have taken on low speed; he should have remembered that a COW is naturally phlegmatie and non-exeitable; he should never have tried to make the big Packard take his dust. Memory and Medi- tation, one would think, might be parents to Mod-i: esty. To you young people starting out with your new machines, can I say with becoming humility much more than that I have found the game of life worth the candle, or the tour worth the garage bills, and to wish you heartily a safe and happy journey? Well, if it be presumptuous to proffer individual advice, either general or specific, what sublime assur- ance must the baccalaureate speaker, or the popular platform orator. have who engages to tell the country what it should do and forbear doing? I have noticed that such speakers usually believe in the provi- dential guidance of nations, but they also apparently think that Providence is occasionally negleetful, or that He is on a vacation; or, as Elijah Inoekingly said about Baal, Heither he is talking, or he is pursu- ing, or he is in a journey, or peradventure he sleep- eth, and must be awakedfiaand therefore offer themselves as a substitute. Without experience as statesmen, often with a superficial knowledge of the fundamental ideas of government and law and offi- cial responsibility, they point out in glaring, garish rh etorie the derelietion of the Senate and the House, of the justices of the Supreme Court, of mayors and aldermen and policemen. This thing of telling other men, especially men in otlieial position, their duty, in- stead of tending to ones own, is getting to be a pre- valent and contagious mania in this country. Only a few weeks ago Mayor Gaynor of New York City wrote a significant letter to the district superinten- dent of the International Reform Bureau who had protested against the exhibition of the Johnson- Jeffries fight pictures tthey wrote it Jeffries-John- son before the fightl ciIf it lay in my power? wrote Mayor Gaynor, ttto say whether the pictures sliould be exhibited it would not take me long to de- eide it. I do not see how it can do anyone anyagood to look at them, but will you be so good astonemem- her that ours is a government of laws and not: of men? Will you please get that well into your head? I am not able to do as I like as mayor. I must take the law just as it is. and you may be ab- solutely certain that I shall not take the law into my own hands. The growing exercise of arbitrary power in this country by those put in office would be fan more dangerous and is far more to be dreaded than certain other Vices that we all wish to minimize or be rid off, HWill you please get that well into your headtW he said. That letter. I think, is well worth getting into anybodyts head. This is not saying that there are not social and economic evils under our government, or under any government, but I should be very loath. if such a tling were possible, to turn the government over to the nopular orators and self-appointed reformers. Florid, popular oratory at so much per is as much, of a menace, one may honestly think, as the graft and corruption which serve as such profitable themes. The man who diagnoses national or social ills, and, writes out diagnOSis and prescription in the form of an address to be given place after place and year after year at from fifty dollars to live hundred dole lars a repetition is not specially to be blamed, no matter how imperfect the diagnosis or how unscien. tifie the formula; if he can get the price that is his business. But as to graft, one cannot help thinking that the platform reformer has one of the most lucra- tive and safest of grafts. The dear public, however, which takes readily to predigested thinking and see- ond-rate moralizing never cares to think about this, and in all probability seriously expects the National Pharmacy at Washington to fill out the prescription. Milton got ten pounds, paid in installments, so Car- lyle tells us, for his Paradise Lost, and came near los- ing his head on the gallows into the bargain. Bryan. the papers tell us, has made something like $100,000 out of the The Prince of Peace, and, so far as I know, didnt even lose any votes by it. blame so gracious a personality as that of Bryan, and Lunch of that hundred-thousand I doubt not has gone for other than sellish ends. I do not blame at all, but I merely like to stop and think how much the Prince of Peace got for the unrepeated Sermon on the Mount. Notwithstanding what I have thus far said, one might doubtless from another point of View show that, in a sense, all genuine thinking, all honest ref: form, all great books, all sincere endeavor is a kind of advice. Even nature herself is indirectly admone ishing every man. The cold wind instructs us to put on warmer clothing, the hot sun advises us to keep in the shade, the ant and the bee teach us diligence, the singing bird gives us a lesson of joy, the rippling brook is eloquent of simple contentment, and the vast surging ocean speaks of majesty and power. All this, however, is indirect, unintentioned, suggestive, and therefore unobjeetionable and effective. Neither is it my wish wholly to break with eus- tom and propriety. With no ambition whatever to appear in the role of national adviser, I would gladly enough give you of this graduating Class advice if only I could advise as nature advises, if only there were any certainty that what I should say would be best for you, if only I could have my words certified to with the stamp, HCulruaranteed under the Pure Food Aetfi But I fear me much that a moral, intellectual or business chemist could find more than mere traces of alum. benzoate of soda and other deleterious sub- stances in my product, and could scarcely stamp it H99 per cent pureW All I could honestly say would be: Here is a package of advice put up under fairly sanitary conditions. It is just as good as Smithis or J ones,saand cheaper. Fletcherize as much of it as your appetite ealls for7 but remember that you do it at your own risk. In case Violent pains result, eon; sult your own discretion as to its continued use. Would it not be better, at least more modest7 for me not to compound out of stale materials some shredded morality and ask you to let it take the place of good wholesome bread and meat and I do not Wish tos' potatoes, or, dropping the figure, your own sense of What is just and right and honorable? May I not rather sketch for you a little picture that you can hang up for a brief time in your living-room and eventually in your attic? Once in a While for a time it may eateh your eye, and some line of it, or some suggestion in touch ,or grouping, or perspec- tive may reach your heart and stimulate your imag- ination. And then at any time it will be an easy mat- ter to take it down and put a better one in its place. May I not put my advice to you in the less arrogant and condescending form of a wish. a kind of god- speed put into concrete embodiment? Then, about What I would wish and l? ope for you in the coming. years is this: First. I would wish for you good health. Not that good health is always the basis of good work or that ill health necessarily precludes giod work. Weak, sickly, diseased bodies have strangely enough leoused time and again brave, heroic, creative spirits. To such an extent is this true that one is led some times to question the old dictum about a sound mind in a sound body. Neither is the perfect physical body a guarantee of superior creative power,enot at all. Perhaps the two most nearly perfect physical men in America tO-day are Frank Goteh and John Arthur J ohnson, and there are plenty of worse men. too, than either of them. And yet I can scarcely be- lieve that to be the champion wrestler and the great est living master of the toe-hold, or indeed to tibring back the baeonii from Reno, is comparatively speak- ing, a very lofty ideal. It is better to get a hold on menls minds and their hearts than on their toes, and there is better bacon to be brought back than that cured in Nevada. Therefore, while there is no need of despair for those whose physical endowment is limited and even heavily mortgaged, and ample in- spiration for them in the grim and usually uneom-. plaining heroism of a blind Milton, a dyspeptic Car- lyle, or Darwin, or Huxley, a nerve-raeked Mrs, Browning or an insanity-haunted Charles Lamb; yet, all things considered, a good body is like a good bank aeeount,-it gives one a sense of confidence and security both for his work and his pleasure, and frees him from the thousandfold vexations, worries and haunting, morbid fears that beset the ailing and tie poor. Next, I would wish for you good work, and pri- marily that you may be somewhat independent; somewhat, for no man in modern society is indeneii- dent to any large degree. so complex and interrelated is life and activity. Secondly, because I would have you give a fair equivalent for the privilege of livin g: and not be a parasite or a thief. Thirdly, because good work is a tonic for blue devils and misanthropy. Fourthly, for the value of the work itself to others. As to what good work is, I know no better statement than that of Ruskin. According to him it must have three qualities: first. it must be honest; second, it must be useful ;third, it must be cheerful. TWO pas- sages I quote from Ruskin without comment. iiLife without work is robbery: work without art is brutal- ity.H And again: HIt may be proved with much cer- tainty that God intends no man to live in this world without working, but it seems to me no less evident that he intends every man to be happy in his work. ll And just as I wish for you good work, so equal- ly I wish for you good leisure. Yonder is your field of work. I hope the ground has been carefully plowed, harrowed and seeded, and that you will see to it that proper cultivation is not lacking, and that God will see to it that the warm, life-giving rain shall fall in season. But yonder, too, surrounding your field, is a green hedge-row over-run with wild flowers and Vines, sweet with the fragrance of alder blos- soms, and the favorite haunt 0f warbler and thrush. I hope there is a strip of luxuriant grass along it with an occasional patch of wild strawberries, and here and there a stately tree for dignity and cool, refresh- ing shade. Equally, too, do I hope that you will not root out that hedge-row and replace it with a bar- baric and utilitarian barb-wire fence, or deaden every tree because it shades too much a few hills of corn. And will you not stop sometimes to rest in that shade, stop to chat there with a neighbor or to give a friendly greeting to the stranger passing along the way, stop to pick a few of those strawberries, or watch for a time the young rabbits playing along that grassy strip, or listen to the wild; luxuriant, full- souled melody of the thrush? You will lose a little time maybe, just as the barb-wire fence will enable you to have another row or two of corn around your field; but if, as Ruskin says, there is no wealth but. life, then you will be all the richer for your mar- gined7 tiowering hedge-row and your sweet, glad rest. I wish you, then, joy in your labor and joy in your leisure. The held, too, is not without its own beauty, the beauty of the waving crops of promise and utility, but is not the margin equally inviting? Sometimes, moreover, the margin turns out to be more valuable than the field. Charles Lambis work was adding up countless columns of figures in the bulky ledgers of the South Sea House, and faithfully enough did he do his work. Charles Lambis leisure was the Essays of Elia; that was his flowering, var- iegated and refreshing margin. There is joy in work only so long as the work is not brutally exhausting and deadening, is not without margin and without repose. I wish for you sufficient leisure to think about serious things, to see and appreciate humorous things and to love beautiful things. Third, my wish for you is a clear, cultivated mind that may be brought to bear both on your work and your pleasure. I should wish it to be first an open mind, not locked to truth and beauty either by ignorance or prejudice, not deceived by popular clamor, sectarian fanaticism, or the bias of bigotry, but letting in the sunlight and air of God from every side. Again, I should wish it to be an original, ereaw tive mind, not following in the beaten track of con- ventionality, even if, as I believe is true, a road made of fossil shells is a very smooth one, but rather a mind willing like Newtonis to voyage ithrough strange seas of thought alonef I should wish it2 too, to be a generous mimieits independence and origi- nality kept from eccentricity and dogmatisni by a hearty recognition of what is great and true in the work of every other mind. Lastly, I should Wish it to be a brave mind, freed from the oringing fear that makes intellectual and moral cowards of so many men, makes them keep their ear to the ground to catch the muttered rumblings of the dreaded mon- ster They, or prudishly shut-their eyes to the naked truth until some Anthony Comstock has put a shirt or skirt on it. HIt wont be long, i7 wrote Walt VVhit- man in a note to his friend Horace Traubel, Hanol I will be dead and gone: then they will hale you into courteput you into the witness boxeply you with questionsetry to mix you up with questions: this Walt Whitmanethis scainp poet-this pretender-- what did you make him out to be? and you will have to answer honest7 so help you God. Youill be speaka ing for me many a time after I am dead: do not be afraid to tell the trutheany sort of truth good or bad, for or against: only be afraid not to tell the truth.,, Those are words of a man who knew not fear; feared neither to speak the truth while living nor to have it spoken when deadesublinie intellec- tual and moral bravery. It is the thought, only spoken with brusquer, ruggeder insistence, of the dying Hamlet, and of that one who loved not wisely but too well: iiSpeak of me as I am; nothing extenuate Nor set down aught in inalieeW Fourth, my wish for you is a big, sympathetic, sensitive heart7 the capacity to love greatly what is greatly worth loving. And what is greatly worth. loving? Shall I say first, Nature with her ever- ehanging, everrrenewed and inexhaustible beauty; beautiful, in spite of some ugly aspects, in every greatest, every smallest revelation, crystal and grass- blade and flower, up to mountain and ocean and teinpestuous storm. Sweet is the breath of Morn, her rising sweet, With charm of earliest birds; pleasant the Sun, XVhen first on this delightful land he spreads IIis orient beams, .on herb, tree, fruit, and flower, Glistering with dew; fragrant the fertile earth After soft showlrs; and sweet the coming on Of grateful evening mild; then silent Night, With this her solemn bird, and this fair Moon. And these the gems of Heavin, her starry trainW Such beauty the sightless Milton saw in nature, saw with the eyes of memory and imagination. Beauti- ful, too, in what she eoneeals,-the hidden forces, the haunting mystery, the lure of the infinite. Next, what is noblest in the work of man: the creation of artists-divine music with its appealing witchery, great books with their diamond-shining truths set in the gold of beautiful imagery and mem- orable diction, great pictures and statuary glorifying religion and nature and heroic men, majestic build- ings and graceful cottages and gardensesymbols of lofty, aspiring thought and humble content; crea- tion of statesmen principles of justice and equity and humanity embodied in that timage 0f the brain we call our Uountryf creation of scientistsegreatt discoveries, the white pure light of truth, truth for the sake of truth and truth for the myriad needs of men. Then, humanity itself in its struggling, stum- bling but not joyless progress toward an unknown goal. Humanity, I know, is a big word and it is abstract, and I fear there is much mawkish cant in our talk about love for it. Neither is humanity in the concrete always easy to love; yet what is best in it we can love, what is misguided in it we can for- give, and what. is painful in it we can pity. Nor can we do much, I suppose, in the way of expression of our love; yet, there is comfort and inspiration in the phrase: He that giveth a cup of cold water. Or if the word humanity be too suggestive of hypocritical cant, then we can at least love the few friends drawn to us by the mysterious bonds of affinity, or the one who in idealization is our complementeeompletes us body and soul. Last of all, my wish for you is that you may ap- proximately realize your own ideal. Deep-hidden maybe in your heart of hearts, and but vaguely out- lined to yourself much less to others. like some sculp- toris Traumbild of beauty cherished and loved in secret, lies the Vision. It may not be my Vision at all; nor should I wish you to substitute mine. wish to im- pose my way of thinking upon you. It will be better, I feel sure, to trust your own; and all that l or any- one else can do for you is to help you a little in clari- fying your intellectual and spiritual insight. Your own ideal is your dynamic force, secret and myster- ious as the electric current, and manifested visibly if at all by an occasional flash on the wire. Yet it is none the less real, none the less potent. Without it there can be nothing but stagnant inertia, without it there can be no practical achievement, artistic crea- tion, or deep, abiding joy. This inward Vision how- ever faintly limned, projected into the future, will be your safest guiding-star, your truest inspiration. It will be as the Gleam 0f Merlin, beckoning ever on- ward; that Gleam which the age-old and dying sore eerer still believed in, still held up to the younger generation as a kind of divinelyhtrue will-o 7-the-wispi NO young mariner, Down to the haven, Call your companions, Launch your vessel, And crowd your canvas, And, ere it vanishes V Over the margin, After it, follow it, Follow The GleamY, And now if I have, after all, in this roundabout fashion given you advice, you will, I hope, not charge me with inconsistency as I Charged Aesop. Maybe, too, Aesop did see the inconsistency in that fable of his, but brushed it away as a troublesome7 noxious fly. His fable has lived a good many centuries in spite of the flaw, and if this address should prove as longvlived, I shall be entirely satisfied. PRESENTING A CHAIR TO PROF. KINSEY Katherine E. Carver ROFESSOR KINSEYz-eAgain I stand before P you as the official Gift-Presenter of the Scien- tific Class. I do not know why I should so so often be called upon to perform this painful and solemn duty unless it is because the class recognizes, that, being a woman, I am bound, according to tra- dition, to give it away, anyway. And this is just what has been bothering me. I cant think of any real nice way to give it away and dont like to give it away any other way. In fact Ild much rather keep it, anyway. But my indecision is nothing compared with what theirs has been. When the president of the class waited upon me and announced my election to this honorable and all-important office he said they had not yet decided what to give. Now you can see that that is a thing which the G-ift-Presenter really ought to know. Otherwise there is danger of giving the wrong thing. And a pretty mess thereld be if I stood up here and gave you a silver ink-stand when the class had bought a meersehaum pipe. But don7t be alarmed, that 7s only a pipe dream which I had one evening after the auto had ehugged its way home- ward and left me with only a memory and a bonbon dish full of ashes,-for I, like you, do my smoking by proxy. Finally when I had begun to think I should have to give up my honorable office for want of anything. else to give7 I discovered that a decision had been reached. You are to be presented with a fountain pen or a chair or a piece of eut-glass. And it gives me great pleasure to present to you, on behalf of the Scientific Class of 1910, this beautiful fountain pen or this handsome chair, as the case may be. A fountain penwmay its fountain never go dry until its owner goes wet. A cherry ehair-may you cherish its cheer full many a year. There is something especially appropriate in the gift of a fountain pen to a man who raises pigs, al- though there are those who think pigs have recently been raised so high that the pen is too good for the man who did it. And if any of you young folks dont understand this reference to Professor Kinseyls pigs, Mrs. Kinsey will explain it unless Mrs. Brown beats her to it. I dont know what kind of ehair they have brought you. I know they would like nothing better than to seat you in the presidential chair. If A-2 had been on the committee it would probably be a bar- berls chair, while Professor Cloud would have in- sisted upon its being an electric Chair. I hope they havenit bought a sewing-ehair, for then Mrs. Kinsey will think it is hers. But I suppose you wouldn7t care if it was any inducement to keep her at home, sewing on your buttons and darning your socks. Indeed, the only way I see to keep her out of your chair is to give you a wabbly office-ehair with a spring where its baek-bone ought to be, and that 7s just my notiion of no chair at all. A highvehair would come in handy when your great-grandehildren come to see you and I shouldn7t wonder if their longsighted fathers and mothers had provided for them. Again it is singularly appropriate that this pen should be presented by the class which strove so hard to win and lay at your feet a pennant,-but that, alas. a cruel fate forced them to give to the Engin- eers. But whatever it turns out to be, we hope, Pro- fessor Kinsey, that you will enjoy your gift. Its ample seat was made for comfort, its back will never ache when your back rests upon it, its generous arms will open wide to embrace your weary form-and even Mrs. Kinsey won7t object. And when you take it up and gaze into its crystal depths$I seem some- how to have that eut-glass on my mindsewhen you take up. I say, your Morris pen, or drop into your Moore7s Non-Leakable Chair we hope that thoughts of 1910 will come to you as thoughts of you will often come to them. Well, what has this to do with English History ?m GRINDS Hetd root and root While at the game Winning 0r loosing-all the samae IIENS captions, firm, determined, set, He,s stubborn, headstrong, you can bet. He knows some things, and can debate On any subject, small or great. VVhOe? Hoffman. Prof. Roessler demands neat wwk on examination papers Night before English History Exam, Sir Launful tadaptedt My trusty pony 110W bring to me. And bring to me a pen of might; For to-morrow comes our last exam And I must now prepare to fight. Shall never a bed for me be Spread. Nor shall a pillow be under my head; Till I begin my crib to make; Then it on the morrow Will I take And, perehanee, With the help of a friend or two. Who knows, but that I may get through. Another of Bennefs Star Zoologistgw ttSponges reproduce by lilachineryft H'Sit across VVeems to a Pharmie in Physiology the aislef, Perry:e Some say his heart is warm. Of course. this may be so; But With that shock of auburn hair, His head is warm, I knew. LogarithmseA series of figures made by our pitcher to throw ball. Grace XViIIiams :e Did I hear a footstep in the hall? Did I hear a manly voieelet 0,an ttMet me in the Library W Mr. VVeems tsuffering from an acute attack of emnetitim Now, SO much for the pyramids; now we will take up the cometfereI mean the tubules, of Which the mass of the organ is ehiefty made uth Mr. Bennet tin Geologw iWVe'll, Mr. Corn give the formula for ashestoe.H Mr. CornitCa Mg Fej SiO-Z, variable. Mr. BennetettAll right, and what are its uses?7 Mr. Corn!t I To wrap up farm machinery such as threshing machines, binders. and hayrakesW INhen Geology and Zoology get mixed. Bennet etIGive the important characteristics of the egg cell.H ScientifiegttAetive, dormant and extinetf7 Duston tin Parliamentary LaWI-ttIt haq been moved and seconded that we lay these eggs on the tableW Was an author. a preacher, And sometimes a teacher In lessons on how to add. W'as a scholar, an actor, An awful big factor In whatever Seientih'es had. WIhoe? Winters. A familiar jiguTe in Room 3 As the manager of the dime museum, I am writ- ing to you to see if you can give me a list of freaks. Thanking you in advance for the favor, I am, I. Foolem. We know the following Will satisfy your de- mands, and there are others, if you need more. Alice Harliion, star teacher tamer. Van Buskirk, automatic orator. Bennet, hot air shooter. Wolford, lady killer. Miss Gilmore, vaudeville soubrette. Sprows. matinee idol. Miss Kloekow, tall lady. Miss Gordon, the living skeleton. Grace Williams, the midget. Fredd. brass lunged human phonograph. Fisher, phenominal athlete. Pfanstief, the funny man. Hutchinson7 the dwarf. ttNow you take a dog and cut out his spinal cord. Professor Cloud was lecturing on the kinetic theory of matter and how easily Boyle 7s law followed from this theory. tiff he said, tt this theory had been advanced first, we would have developed a Boyle tboiD in this class inside of a week.,, Leland Benton, translating: ttNi frustra angurv ium vani doeuere parentest Gf my parents have not. taught me the art of divination in vainy MMy parents do no lying unnecessarily. Prof. Timmons gives an extended explanation of chemical adzfimty. Professor CloudettVVhen I get out of bed in the morning, and walk around, although the oilcloth is at the same temperature as the carpet7 the former feels colder to my hands than the Iatterft tIIOW does he walk 0.0 Professor WeemsettNow we :11 see What the next fellow has to say about it. Miss Klockow? . z y . . 1 7 . . In the'rature-e The Pllgrlms were naerW7 Now see here, folks! If chbom'ferons rocks lw dwectly stern, and bigoted. on top of Ordovician rocks, etc., etc. h I Miulll'lllw. :; 7Mz ,5, NW tt And then from this it is perfectly obvious, etcf, Carl LaRue is wondering if his explanation of Why College Girls Do Not Marryll has produced any change in the girls on the Hill. Professor VVeems can hardly hold an audience because of Scott Knollls fiy-eatching antics in the rear of the room. We all know him. ttTake all the propositions and corollaries to the end of the chapter, then if you have any time left, solve the sixteen originals on page 129, J . W. Sprowls believes in Hpressure of environe- ment. According to Professor VVeems one character- istic of the 1910 Seientifies is their weak, lady-like voices. Professor VVeems has not been to a ball game this year. EnglishHistories for sale. Most recent and re- vised editions. See HAny Scientihefl Professor Bonnet: HIf Silurian rocks lay direct- ly on top of Cambrian rocks, how ll ' Puzzle: Supply the missing words. Professor VViHiams was speaking of Emersonls idea of compensation UNOW take the giraffe for in- stancej, he said, Hit has a long neck. What organ is it that compensates for the long-neck. 7, Walter Bell: MShort tailfl Can Address XV. A. Mc- VVanted: Position as baseball manager. speak German and run bases. Knight, Lembke Hall. It is all right for Ira Stineman to slide to third When the catcher drops the ball. If you have quickly read each grind, With trembling and With fear, to hnd What awful roastls been handed you To sap conceit and make you blue; If you have found none, do no deem Yourself as lucky as you seem, Just keep it silent and dont boast You Simply were not worth a roast. SCIENTIFIC EMPLOYMENT AGENCY If you want a Fisher go to Fred 01 Amelia. Cooper go to Jessie. Plumber go to Ira J . Wright go to Jessica. Smith go to Kyle. Miller go to Harry J. Tailor go to Lenora. Cloek-oh go to Anna. Stone go to Calvin. If you want any more go to M. B. OUR WISE ONES Miss Fischer tin Phys. Labh llVVhatls theform- ula for a raltbitW, Mr. Bennet tin Geologyy HName a swamp de- positfl Miss ChaunceymllH2-O. ll HISTORY OF US AUGUST Thursday, 6. Vacation Month. Hurrah! Hurrah! SEPTEMBER Tuesday, 21. A11 numbered rooms are in Old C01- lege Building. Wednesday, 29. Mercury stands at 95 in the shade. OCTOBER Sunday, 10. Panic at East Hall.-Oatmeal Ad- vanced. Thursday, 28. Books I like. NOVEMBER Wednesday, 3. Griffith calls the meeting to order. Tuesday, 16. Debating minutes padded. DECEMBER WYednesday, 8. lows. Tuesday, 14. Back in School. 0h, Rats! Wednesday, 22. Shaffer takes the Throne. Wednesday, 22. HVanWeValpoll Valpoll Hurt rah I ! Hurrah ! ! J ANUARY Saturday, 1. Next day after December 31, 1909. Wednesday, 19. Ugh! Those troublesome By-laws. Saturday, 22. NO-OvOW, Someone make a motion. FEBRUARY Socia1.e0h, they are jolly good fel- Friday, 11. Clouds darken over Room F. Wednesday, 23. VVeems takes two more dogs. MARCH Socia1.eAunt Kate brings 13. F. Lets put these two sections at 9 and 11. Saturday, 19. Signs of SpringeGarstka hat; hie Tuesday. 1. Tuesday, 8. lawn cut. Thursday, 24. 2VViuter,7 returns. APRIL Saturday, 9. Who pulled down the HBaek-StofW Saturday, 9. HPLAY BALLW Saturday, 16. VVhatts this got. to do With English History? MAY Thursday, 5. Oh you Curran! Stay away from Sagers. 'Wednesday, 18. Oh, but you had ought to see that earl! Saturday, 21. HToast on Toasty HVELIpO'COpSiS.w Etc. J UNE Monday. 6. done. Friday, 17. Saturday, 25. fter sweepin, the class, 2Dust0ntt was AA gets his hair cut. Dark days for the Base Ball Nine. J ULY Monday, 4. Chautauqua. Tuesday, 5. B. F. wears his White suit. Wednesday, 13. Go-bell rings at 10 otclock. Saturday, 16. Missed English History?e1n the Fest House. Saturday, 23. airing. Monday. 25. Roesslefs dogs take him out for an Sprowls cuts class to see the parade. Tuesday, 26. Who ponied in English History Zam? Saturday, 29. We Work, We Work, We Always WineSHUT UP! AUGUST Monday, 1. Quick lost his Latin ttponyW Saturday, 6. Class DayeA Fishtem pulled out of Flint Lake. Friday, 12. Flunko, flunkere, faculti, fixus. Saturday, 13. We spend the evening with 2Grand pa. ' KVednesday. 17. Welcome Home, Alumni! Thursday. 18. Together for the last time. Friday, 19. Good-bye!!! Boo-o Hooeo I 1! Dent for get to write! THE BASEBALL TEAM J . W. Ault ROM the time the umpire called ttPlay Ball,7 in the opening game, April 9th, until the last inning of the game of July 30th, the Scientific team was always to be reckoned as a contender in the race. The opening game was with the Engineers and the Seientihes promptly stowed it away in the ttgames won77 column. Jupiter PluVius got busy for two weeks thereafter, and what havoc the idleness necessitated by his downpourings worked in the final results no one can tell. By the time he had called otf his thunder-elouds and 01d King S01 again eon- sented to beam with radiant splendor on University Park, the Engineers had taken a brace and came back at us with a two to one Victory. Thus the very beginning was prophetic of a struggle that lasted through out the season. Then came the slump as slumps will come. The Lawyerts team, seizing the opportunity to strengthen their percentage column, stepped into the breach and we became stars of the third magnitude. These were the perilous days of the team and a close student of the game sees in the games 10st then the damper to the hopes of the future. Through it all Galbraith Hpitched ba1177e0001, crafty, and steady as the clock in the college office, he was always 011 the job pulling .himself and team-mates out if the hole on many occasions by his splendid work both in the box and at the bat. ' When the Lawyers and Pharmics ttblew up, July 29th and the smoke cleared away, the Seientiiics had annexed Herman and Walsh, staunch and loyal acquisitions to the team. With Harvey, Clement, VValterhouse and Walsh 011 the infield, and Benton, Hills, Stone and Jauquet to patrol the outer garden, Bentonis athletics disputed every inch of the ground against heavy odds, putting up the gamiest ball seen in University Park this seasoneonly to loose the pennant by a technicality, a mere bit of by-play which takes the sweetness of a fairly wonevietory from their rivals. Anyway it was a spectacular finishethose last five games. With four to win, the Scientific team girded themselaes for the herculean task and made the bees buzz in the bonnets 0f the fans, bringing out crowds of people that would have made a minor league Illagnate green with envy. The Scientific Class of 1910, with its character- istic spirit, backed their team to the fiHiShHlinOVVViIlg' that they had the best management and material pro- eurable, the noise of the hammer was never heard in the class and now, while the championship title nomi- Dally goes elsewhere, we thank Manager Benton and his teamemates for furnishing for us the clean cut kind of ball we shall not be ashamed to hand down to our successors. THE PLAYERS Jesse Ault. League Representative. E. G. Galbraith, Pitcher. R. C. Herman, Catcher. S. A. Hoffmm, Yell Master. Peter Jauquet, Right Field. Henry C. Mills, Left Field. Raleigh Stone. Center Field. Vincent 1. Walsh, Third Base. L. H. Benton, Manager and First Base. A. A: Clement. Second Base. George Walterhouse, Short Stop. Deane MacDowell. CLASS ,10 SONGS AND YELLS THE PURPLE AND THE GOLD tTune: Princetonis Orange and Blaekj Over there stand the poor old lawyers, They,re gathered for the fray. ,Gainst the Scientifiest sturdy warriors They hope to win the. day. But you cannot do it, lawyers For our team this year is bold, And you can ,t win while we 7re cheering For the Purple and the Gold. Do you know, oh, oh, you lawyers, That our team this year7s the best7 And the class that does support them Is far above the rest. We are called the Soientifics, Our IaurTls are manifold. That is why we now are cheering For the Purple and the Gold. The Seientifies are in the fielde Fol de r01 de r01 r01 r01. And they will make the lawyers yield. Fol de r01 de r01 r01 r01. One strike, two strike, three strikes, oute Fol de r01 de r01 r01 rol. For the pitcher has the gout, F01 de r01 de r01 r01 r01. In Valpo town there is a teame F01 de r01 de r01 1'01 r01. And up their backs they have a scheme, F01 de r01 de r01 r01 r01. tTune: Marching Through Georgian Our boys are on the baseball field, They,ve gathered for the fray; The Science yell is in the air. We ,Ve come to win the day. NVeill teach the game of baseball To our friends across the way, While we are shouting for Slience. Chorus. Strike one! strike two! our pitcher is all there; Ten yell! oh yell! we711 put em out for fair; No team can face our loyal boys And win from them the day, While we are shouting for Science. YELLS We are! Ye are! We are The Valpo Police! Ye do! We do! We do! Whatever we please. We don : give a rap For any old chap - Who dorft give a rep for us SnC-I-E-N-T-I-FeIrCrS Rah. One-a-zi'ppa, Two-a-zippa, Three-a-zippanAM The Seientifies don,t give a hobble gobble, Rassel tassel, biff boom bah, TheyTre the players, Rah, rah, rah. Valpoe-Valpoe HurraheHurrah SeientifieseSeientititos Sis boom bah, VYe work, we work, We always win, ScientiflcseSeientiiics 19e10 Room Chic Boom Boom Chic Boom Boom ehie-a-riga-ehie Boom chic boom. Rip rah riseris Rip rah ris Seientities. Seientitics. V. U. S. GRACE AND BEAUTY Characterize the poses we give to all our sitters. The posing is really most important but few photographers understand how much depends upon it in the general success THE FAITHFUL LIKENESS Is another feature of all our pictures-they are really life-like productions. If you- are thinking of having a photograph taken individually or as one of a group, come and let us show you the artistic excellence of our work. ' READING STUDIO UP T O W N