Valparaiso High School - Valenian Yearbook (Valparaiso, IN)

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HIGH SCHOOL ANNUAL 31 Y. H. VAIL, NO. 7 MAIN STREET Diamonds, Watches, Silverware, Jewelry, Clocks, Fountain Pens, Etc. ..Decorative Cut on China.. Beautiful Out Glass PK 1 1 Kinds of Brlc-a-Brac Have you seen the TEA POTTERY at W. G. WINDLE’S. JOHN FOSTER, ICE CREAM, ICES, FRUITS, Nuts and Candies. 18 N WASHINGTON STREET. Drink Kremola and Ice Cream Soda At the Corner Drugstore | Bloch Steam Laundry S BRANCH . FEHRMAN, Props. 1 ’Phone 16. 123 E. Main St. I James McFetrich, 1 Lumber and Coal I M. LaFORCE, Boots an ci Shoes. H 21 E. MAIN STREET. I For Buggies, Wagons, Harness, Quaker City Lawn ITowers, Quick Heal and Detroit Gasoline Stoves and Ranges go to... Ross Wilson’s HARDWARE STORE.

Page 32 text:

30 HIGH SCHOOL ANNUAL which I will call Fido, poored in a can iv milk, which I will call gum arabic, took two pounds iv rough-on-rats, which I rayfuse to call; but th’ raysult is th’ same.’ Question be th’ Coort; ‘Different?’ Answer: ‘Yis. Th’ Coort: ‘Th’ same.’ Be Misther McEwen: ‘Whose bones?’ Answer: ‘Yis.’ Be Misther Vincent: ‘Will ye go to th’ divvle?’ An- swer: ‘It dissolves th’ hair.’ “Now, what I want to know is where th’ jury gets off. What has that collection iv pure-minded pathrites to larn fr’m this here polite discussion, where no wan is so crool as to ask what anny wan else means? Thank th’ Lord, whin th’ case is all over, th’ jury’ll pitch th’ tistimony out iv th’ window, an’ consider three questions: ‘Did Lootgert look as though he’d kill his wife? Did his wife look as though she ought to be kilt? Isn’t it time we wint to sup- per?’ An’, howiver they answer, they’ll be right, an’ it’ll make little diff’rence wan way or th’ other. Th’ German vote is too large an’ ignorant, annyhow.” THE TRIALS OF AN EDITOR. At the table in his sanctum Sat the editor-in-chief. And his face looked drawn and haggard; he wore signs of recent grief. There were only two more hours, Ere the paper went to press, And his brain was in a muddle, And his manuscript a mess. Of copy he had just enough To fill up half the space; So you’ll see he had good reason For such a mournful face. Had developed every plot he knew, In stores quite romantic; And displayed his erudition In editorials pedantic. He had read and read exchanges, Full of articles inane; Published poem after poem, Till he almost went insane. From epic down to jingle. And in every kind of verse, It was handed in the bunches. Till it made him want to curse. Every would-be doggerel writer Tried to do his little stunt; And our dear, good-nearted editor Had to bear of it the brunt. The lamp was getting lower; With a splutter and a flare. It went out, and left the editor A-slumbering in his chair. Execrating would-be poets, At last he’d gone to sleep, And dreamed he was in Heaven, There his just reward to reap. He was set upon a pedestal Of onyx, pure and white. Where a poem ne’er could reach him. And where everything looked bright. For no matter what your life may be, They never count your sin If you’ve held the job of editor — ’Tis enough to let you in.

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32 HIGH SCHOOL ANNUAL H. BORNHOLT, FRESH AND SALT MEATS. 1 1 Main Street. Phone 801 ROSS BANISTER, Hardware, Stoves, Furnaces, Buggies, Carriages, Harness and Refrigerators. 164 and 166 Main Street. Go to R. P. Wolfe The Up- to- Date Tailor and Gents’ Furnisher if you want to be fitted out to look attractive. FRANK A. TURNER Real Estate and Loans. KEEHN HILL. DENTISTS. OVER WILLIAMS DRUG STORE. Chan. II. Lindner, Pres. Fred M. Lindner, Secy. Valparaiso Grain Elevator Co., Flour, Feed, Hay, Grain and Seeds Store Corner Franklin and Indiana Ave. Main Office Corner of Washington and Water Streets. The Sheffield Inn H SHEFFIELD SON, Props. No. 5 Main Street