Valparaiso High School - Valenian Yearbook (Valparaiso, IN)

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HIGH SCHOOL ANNUAL 1904. 25 Mark Antony’s Oration Over Caesar. [Prom “The New Shakespeare. ”] F RIENDS, Romans, Countrymen ! Lend me your ears; I will return them next Saturday. I come To bury Caesar, because the times are hard And his folks can’t afford to hire an undertaker. The evil that men do lives after them In the shape of progeny who reap the Benefit of their life insurance. So let it be with the deceased. Brutus hath told you Caesar was ambitious. What does Brutus know about it? It is none of his funeral. Would that it were! Here under leave of you I come to Make a speech at Caesar’s funeral. He was my friend, faithful and just to me; He loaned me five dollars once when I was in a pinch, And signed my petition for a post office. But Brutus says he was ambitious. Brutus should wipe off his chin. Caesar hath brought many captives home to Rome, Who broke rock on the streets until their ransoms Did the general coffers fill. When that the poor hath cried, Caesar hath wept, Because it didn’t cost anything And made him solid with the masses. [Cheer 8.] Ambition should be made of sterner stuff, Yet Brutus says he was ambitious. Brutus is a liar and I can prove it. You all did see that on the Lupercal I thrice presented him a kingly crown Which he did thrice refuse, because it did not fit him quite. Was this ambition? Yet Brutus said he was ambitious. Brutus is not only the biggest liar in the country, But he i9 a horse-thief of the deepest dye. [Applause.] If you have tears prepare to shed them now. [Laughter. ] You all do know this ulster. I remember the first time ever Caesar put it on; It was on a summer’s evening in his tent, With the thermometer registering 90° in the shade; But it was an ulster to be proud of, And cost him $3 at Marcaius Swartzraeyer’s, Corner of Broad and Ferry streets, sign of the red flag. Old Swartz wanted $40 for it, But finally came down to $3, because it was Caesar. Look! in this place ran Cassius’ dagger through; Through this the son-of-a-gun of a Brutus stabbed, And, when he plucked his cursed steel away, Good gracious ! how the blood of Caesar followed it ! [Cheers, and cries of “ Give us something on the Panama treaty Hit him again, etc. I come not, friends, to steal away your hearts. I am no thief as Brutus is. Brutus has a monopoly in all that business, And if he had his deserts he would be In the penitentiary, and don’t you forget it. Kind friends, sweet friends, I do not wish to stir you up To such a sudden flood of mutiny, And as it looks like rain, The pall-bearers will please place the coffin in the hearse, And we will proceed to bury Caesar — Not to praise him. — H. W. Criswell.

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24 tIIGH SCHOOL ANNUAL 1904. MY PHILOSOPHY: v I aint, ner don’t p’tend to be, Much posted on philosofy; But there is times, when all alone, I work out idees of my own. And of these same there is a few I’d like to jest refer to you — Pervidin’ that you don’t object To listen clos ’t and rickollect. I alius argy that a man Who does about the best he can Is plenty good enugh to suit This lower mundane institute — No matter ef his daily walk Is subject fer his neghbor ' s talk, And critic-minds of ev’ry whim Jest all git up and go fer him ! It’s natchurl enugh, I guess, When some gits more and some gits less, Fer them-uns on the slimmest side To claim it aint a fare divide; And I’ve knowed some to lay and wait, And git up soon, and set up late, To ketch some feller they could hate Fer goin’ at a faster gait. My doctern is to lay aside Contensions, and be satisfied: Jest do your best, and praise er blame That toilers that, counts jest the same. I’ve alius noticed great success Is mixed with troubles, more er less, And it’s the man who does the best That gits more kicks than all the rest. — James Whitcomb Riley. Chapter I: “What is your name, little boy?” asked the teacher. “Johnny Lemon,” answered the boy. And it went on record on the roll. Chapter II: “What is your name?” the high school teacher inquired. “John Dennis Lemon,” replied the boy. Which was duly enrolled. Chapter III: “Your name, sir?” said the college dig- nitary. “J. Dennison Lemon,” responded the young man who was about to enroll himself as a student. Inscribed in ac- cordance therewith. Chapter IV: “ May I ask your name?” queried the soci- ety editor of The Daily Bread. “Jean D’Ennice Le Mon,” replied the swell personage in the opera box. And it was duly jotted down. The signs is bad when folks commence A findin’ fault with Providence, And balkin’ ’cause the earth don’t shake At ev’ry prancin’ step they take. No man is great tel he can see How less than little he would be Ef stripped to self, and stark and bare He hung his sign out anywhare. “These college boys beat me,” said St. Peter, as he locked the gate for the night. “What’s the matter now?’’ queried the man who was be- ing fitted with a pair of wings. “Why, I let in a batch a while ago and they no sooner got in than they began to pitch quoits with their halos.”

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26 HIGH SCHOOL ANNUAL 1904. Albe’s Restaurant and Lunch Room Polk’s School of Piano Tuning A good beginning for a young man. W. G. W indie dealer Groceries, Provisions, Crockery, Glassware, Etc. Southeast Cor. Main and Franklin Streets. Ice Cream, Ices, Nuts, and Candies John Foster, 18 North Washington St. DOLSON THE HACK MAN Makes Calls Night or Day Makes all trains, and will take couples any place in town for 75 cents round trip. DO WE SELL COFFEES? If you don’t think so try a pound of our RICH LOW BRAND COFFEES They are the best to be found — try a lb. and you will use no other. STATE, T COMPANY DR. C. M. CAHILL, Dentist yv . Boots and Shoes South Side Public Square Visit Our. vSoda Annex Heineman Sievers