Valparaiso High School - Valenian Yearbook (Valparaiso, IN)

Page 13 text:

WANT ADS HIGH Wanted— A n inspiring view from the south windows. Wanted— A tenor who can reach “Y.” Choir Master. Wanted— A conflagration to test the mettle of the “Open Window Club.” Wanted— S ome good football material for the fall of 1904. Wanted— A more experienced detective than Billy, the janitor. “Wilsie.” Wanted — Damages for injuries sustained by sudden contact with a glass door. Fa BING. Wanted — A row of chairs to occupy all alone during Physics. Halderman. Adelbert Burns is one of our most promising little Fresh- men. He is editor of a five-paged, red type, sensational pub- lication entitled, “The Daily Sun.” The back row of seats has ceased to demand respect. This should not be. Heretofore the back row has been the goal which spurred on many a Freshman to greater efforts. We fear Mr. Miller is of a very sentimental turn of mind for a married man. He seems intensely interested in Miller’s Wooing and “sparking.” While explaining an electrical machine he informed us that there is not so much sparking in modern times as in earlier days. A certain Senior boy winked a knowing wink at a certainJSenior girl. ANNUAL 1904. 11 AN ITEMIZED ACCOUNT. An old-time church in Belgium decided to repair its prop- erties, and employed an artist to touch up a large painting. Upon presenting his bill, the committee in charge refused payment unless the details were specified, whereupon he pre- sented the items as follows: ITEMS. To correcting the ten commandments $ 5.12 Embellishing Pontius Pilate and putting new ribbons on his bonnet 3.02 Putting new tail on rooster of St. Peter and mending his comb 2.10 Repluming and gilding left wing of Guardian Angel 5.18 Washing the servant of the High Priest and putting carmine on cheeks 5.02 Renewing Heaven, adjusting the stars and cleaning up the moon 7.14 Touching up purgatory and restoring lost souls 3.06 Brightening up the flames of hell, putting new tail on the devil, mending his left hoof and doing several odd jobs for the damned 7.17 Rebordering the robes of Herod and adjusting his wig 4.00 Taking the spots off the son of Tobias 1.30 Putting earrings in Sarah’s ears 1.71 Putting new stone in David’s sling, enlarging the head of Goliath, and extending Saul’s legs 6.13 Decorating Noah’s ark and putting a head on Shem 4.31 Mending the shirt of the Prodigal Son, and cleaning his ear 3.39 Total $58.65 When he asked the blushing maiden, Whom he wished to make his wife, “ If she’d trot in double harness Down the rocky road of life,” She, it seems, had no objection; Full of gladness was his cup — Quick they galloped to the parson, And he straightway hitched them up. — Rural World.

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10 HIGH the clash exercises. J PROGRAMME. 1. Peasant’s Wedding March— Soderman, - VALPARAISO HIGH SCHOOL OCTETTE. 2. Address of Welcome — Class President, W. ARTHUR HALL. 3. My Lady Chlo’ — Leigh ter, V. H. S. OCTETTE. 4. Oration — Why Japan Should Win, - GORDON NORRIS. 5. Oration — Specialists and Specialism, ARTHUR LOUDERBACK. 6. Oration— True Philanthropy, AURETTA HOYT AGNEW. 7. A Song of Sunshine — Thomas, GENEVIEVE FREEMAN BAUM. 8. Class Prophecy — - FLORA COBB. 9. Selection — - MALE QUARTETTE. ANNUAL 1904. 10. Decision of Judges — 11. Away to the Woodlands — V. H. S. OCTETTE. 12. The Court Scene of the Merchant of Venice— Characters: The Duke — Rudolph Bartholomew Antonio — W. Arthur Hall Bassanio — Ross Brown Gratiano — Gordon Norris Salerio — Bruce Jones Shylock — Leigh Lawrence Clerk— Carl Sweney Portia — Auretta Hoyt Agnew Nerissa — Ethel Anne Gardner

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12 HIGH SCHOOL ANNUAL 1904. CLASS HISTORY. I T WAS a motley array of manners and intellect that presented itself before the south door of the old High School four years ago and was allotted the seats in the rooms assigned the Freshmen. It is not a particularly distin- guished class in appearance, yet what an abundance of en- thusiasm and ambition gleamed from those sixty odd pair of eyes. But what has become of that great throng? Alas! only a meagre dozen remain to tell the tale of the difficult march over the shoals and pit-falls of H. S. life. There is nothing in this world that insures success so much as self-confidence and industry. In this the masculine element in the class showed itself to be pre-eminent by brav- ing the trials and labors of the Latin course. Well have they been repaid for their self-sacrifice by being initiated in- to the mysteries of tineas ’ wanderings through the lower world. And, warned by Dido’s sad fate, we trust that not one of the Latin Quartette will ever be the cause of any maiden’s wandering along the wild sea shore with a willow wand to waft her lover back over the sea. No. Strange to say the heart smashers are all in the English or the German course. The life of the Freshman is not all peaches and cream. Even on the first day of his arrival some of his high ideals were shattered and his sense of importance suffered a sad eclipse by the severe administering of the initiation exercises, when the time honored barrel-stave in the hands of a sturdy upper-class man furnished amusement for all except the luck- less urchins who were being initiated. Although the young ladies of the class were exempt from the indignity, they were made to feel their utter insignificance in numerous other ways. Well, let it suffice to say that they bore it with true Stoical philosophy and resolved to even up in the future. The Freshman mind is not a well of truth and depth, but runs chiefly to fun and mischief. Although this particular class gave promise of producing some strong and original intellects, too much could not be expected of them at this time. One little incident will serve to illustrate this. A some- what corpulent young man was one day spied by the congre- gation of Freshmen, who, on the school-house lawn, were dis- cussing with equal enthusiasm such topics as Talmage’s ser- mons and the Corbett-Fitz bout. The subdued and pensive air of the man in question attracted the attention of the group and just as his broad back was disappearing in the doorway