Valier High School - Northern Lights Yearbook (Valier, MT)

Page 21 text:

jZaSf anb CesfameMf We, the Senior Cla33 of Valier High School of r.ine teen-hundrec and forty-seven, co make oubllc this last will and testamer;t on this 28th day of May, 1947, A. b. ana do hereby declare null and void any previous statement, document, or slangy hearsay which may have been thought to be official but which definitely was a passing fancy. To each and every teacher we leave ten new gray hairs, with the exception of Elmer Sticht, we will Just take some of the few he has left. To the honorable gentlemen of our most worthy and illustrious School Eoard we bequeath what we consider some very excellent suggestions on how to run this haver, of paradise. (This if a secret document.) To the Freshmen, we leave our vacated seats on the front steps. To the 3ophomores, we bequeath our ability to learn. To the Juniors, the privilege of stepping into our shoes. (We also leave them our old shoes.) On the whole, we leave the school in the hole. Individual bequests of this outstanding group are as follows: Jim Crawford leaves his manly physique to Chuck Kester. Gerald Fitzpatrick, alias Fitz , leaves, but just barely. Beverly Nelson and bonneatta Winale leave their good looks and ability to wear cloths to Kuthie ussell and Betty Kibbee. Don Orr leaves his broken heart to anyone who can mend it. Jim Powers leaves his traffic violations to John Stokes and Herman Baunan and feels that he has done enough Sherwood Martin leaves his manly beard to Boyd Heneraan so that he can look tough. Earl Matthaes leaves his terrible temper to the atomic scientists for experimentation in explosive material. Dick Gleger leaves his gayiety and charm to everybody to keep up the morale of the whole school. Georgia Reitz leaves her shy and well-mannered ways to Janet Kingston because it will take both to hold her down. Jeanne Brophy leaves because she couldn1t stand it any longer. Vivienne Barron leaves her poetic ability to Jim Sizemore in hopes that he, too, will know what it is to be a Senior. Marie Miller leaves her quiet charm to Bob Wenzel and her business ability to Patsy Cronk. Elsie Yeager leaves Albert Van De Kep to the Freshman girls with the plea that they will feed him daily ana treat him kindly. Don Crurr.packer was brighter than any of the rest of the class because he has already gone. He leaves his adaptability to Glen Culleton. It is our sincere desire that the fortunate victims use these abilities, talent, characteristics, and etc. to the best advantage. We, the Senior Class of 1947, do hereby sing, seal and deliver this last proclamation, and testament. Witnesseu by Mother Nature, and Father Time.

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£fSa zm It is 3ur.ir.er, 1967, as we circle the planet Earth In a flag ship of the Solar System Space Lines, owned and one rated by the Jbbulous millionaire, Jim Crawford. Our pilot, Sherwood Martin, and flight engineer, Don Orr, are up front, sweating it out, over a conked out jet which was damaged by a man-made meteor set off in the year 1947, shortly after one of the smaller Earth Wars during the Golden Age of the United States. In a matter of minutes we have circled the Earth several times and prepared to make a landing on Lake Francis which is the center of the greatest city of the Universe, 7alier, located in America, County of the United Nations of the World. We have been floating about in space for ten years (a feeling not unfamiliar since the dear old daze in Valier High classes) and have a Dot to catch up on. We park our plane on the lake, adjust our personal wings to our shoulders and fly on in to the Customs House. The Collector of Customs is none other than dear old Fitz wearing a snappy back-to-nature uniform of artificial leopard- skin, draped gracefully about his loins and showing his manly chest and rippling muscles. (Six hairs now I) Fitz tells us that just now he is working hard on the election for President of the United Planets. We are surprised to learn that women have completely taken over gbvernmental affairs and that Donneatta Windle has Just completed her 7th tern as President. We are old fashioned enough to question an allfeminine government but Fitz assures us they are doing a swell job. Just look at the figures................ . We pass the magazine racks and note that Viviai.ne Earron has written i feature article entitled Open the Loot, HigrJ in honor of a former classmate of ours who has locked himself in a cell in India and is living on a diet of goat's milk and vitamins, refusing to come out until the British government turns its now-abandoned island over to Montana for experimental fox-farming. We remember the Commencement speaker who solemnly warned us that one out of every clas3 will turn to vice. Who might tfois be among our worthy comrades? But who is this odd character Just alighting from yon space rocket? Kilroy? Smoe? Why, it's Jim Powers 1 How's vice? we croak. Ah ha says Jim That's a good question. I'm glad you a3ked that I I've just accepted the Job of Vice-President of Venus, at an annual salary that would make A1 Capone look like a penny waiting for change. Look at the figures(not nine), living costs have upped 500 6 in the la3t ten years and my income was only up 300 . The Venus offer looked perfectly le al to me. Besides, it meant more nfcney. And with that he swooped one-hundred (100) gorgeous, voluptious, ravishing Venetian damsels into the rocket and darted off into space. i We hail a taxi and, as it Dulls d. we see printed exquisitely on the hood a name more prominent in cars than that of Ford twenty years ago. This all-plastic, luxury, atom-powered Job is one of a large fleet owned by the famous society play-boy, Carl Orr. We are about to enter when we are brushed to one side by an armed guard and we are startled to;ob3erve that the important figure who takes precedence over us is a very fat gentleman in a glittering uniform unlike anything we have seen ir. sky or Earth. Who. ? we gasp. The President of Mars, Earl Matthaes, says the guard. Stand back. He has a deathly fear of secret agents and suspects everyone of foul play. V.'e discreetly take the next taxi and drive to the luxurious Hotel Valier which was formerly the home of Mrs. Elsie Yeager Van Slatherwaite prominent socialite. it is now efficiently managed by Marie iiller, who greets us at the door and presents us with a social calander which includes an entertainment by Georgia Reitz and her famous ballet troup. (continued on next page)