Upper Arlington High School - Norwester Yearbook (Upper Arlington, OH)

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Jew Jlwm, Wow . . . And here we are arriving in Upper Arlington, United States of Mars. The land of the always, always, where warmth and sunshine fill the Mars the whole year 'round, where children play gleefully in the airfields, where school provides an opportunity for those who wish to pass the stiff entrance requirements for the six months' mail-order college of Pill-ec and Pre-flight. . . . And so, many citizens of the U. S. A. have migrated upward and havef settled down to a lifetime of concentrated vitamins and radio-therapy. . . . After being transplanted to Mars, the members of the younger generation have grown into upstanding citizens of the village-a village whose popula- tion has reached five million, whose mayor is john B. Gerlach, and whose' seal is the sign of the Marsupial because of its diplomatic pouch. The people lead fairly abnormal lives which are not interrupted by such irreg- ularities as taxes, homework, or sickness. . . . If you will look in the Hourly Gazette you might read that jody M'euser has just been gifted with the job of 28th vice president of the Coca Cola Bottling World Federation. It seems that she has set up stands in high schools all over the mars. john Falconer has been made her assistant with the position of Chief-coke-case-carrier .... Deacon Skeele of the Second Community Church of Mars has proclaimed the day after Saturn day to be Sunday .... jean Kenestrick, janet Lang and Eugenia Dittoe, housewives of merit, spend the better part of their day cooking the infra-red way. The Larry Howell Corporation, one of the few left in the dwindling automobile industry, is the sole manufacturer of light-violet convertibles. . . . Barbara Lee and Mary Ann Baas are distinguished cultivators of artificial orchids .... just the other day Ginny Tripp, Eloise Edwards and Marian Lint- ner were seen hopping a rocket ship for their weekly visit to the jupiter Child Clinic. The statue of Curly Morrison, Charles Atlas of Mars, has been erected in parks all over the country . . . in one of these same small parks, jean Shade has been employed as head ground-keeper where it is her duty to replace the Keep Off The Grass signs with her self-explanatory exclamation, Will you please not! An Arlington favorite son, jim Ebright, is running for his l7th term as President of the U. S. M. on a platform of ZummmmmmmStuff!l They say the little woman, jerry Murphy, has been right in there leading cheers' on his behalf for the past i6 terms .... jackie Fullen has established mil- linery stores in ten leading cities and Beanies with an A on Top are her specialties .... Don Sipp has just swum the Atlantic and Pacific and will, soon attempt the Apex of his career. Mary Catherine Collins and judy Tucker spend most of their time sitting on a cumulonimbulus cloud playing Stormy Weather .... Tycoon Khourie is now starring in Lost in a Harem .... Bill L. Sherrard conducted a nation-wide strike for all coal-mining robots .... Bob Schnoor and Hank Landis, professors emeritus, are hard at work on their edition of the book? Physics, Pre-Flight, Trig, and Solid in Six Easy Lessons. Marjorie Reese, notorious horse thief, has pilfered The Orsborn Diamond , precious stone of the Orsborn collection .... Miss Carolyn Sawyer of Katie's Kute Koffins for Kold Kuddly Korpses fame has an- nounced that she will hereafter undertake burial footwear with the help of her assistant, Zuella Toombs .... Toni Ulm, Ronni Denun.e, and Frankie Esper are serving their fourth terms as members of the Probate Court, Bureau of Name Changes. Ned Green, manufacturer of razor blades sold at cut-throat prices, is still determined to eliminate Bluebeards .... Dave Crabtree edits the Mars lcldllflllllffl on lfugu S82 Pagr Ttwfnty-ffvz'

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