Upper Arlington High School - Norwester Yearbook (Upper Arlington, OH)

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Page sixteen Navy , replies the attendant, This crate has been setting here for two months now. This guy Best built it and he imagines he takes trips in it to the moon. He got away from the Asylum last january and we just now got the lowdown on this place. Come along, Napoleon. And the attendants depart, dragging the wretched P. Butler Best by the ear. After some time the guests recover from the shock and take themselves off, one by one, to muse over the happenings of the day. Foremost in each one's mind is the familiar adage so frequently quoted by our old friend Mr. McCullough, which, in plain words is: Every great genius is a bit teched in the haid l RICHARD TAYLOR. THE CLASS WILL OF l935 We, the Class of Nineteen Hundred and Thirty-live, being of sound mind and intellect do hereby state and publish these outstanding vices and virtues as our last will and testament, and do bestow them upon our underclassmen: Bill Albrecht leaves his profound philosophy of wimmini' to Ted Held. ,lack Jackson wills his resolute industriousness to Pete Albanese. Joe Cooper bequeaths his Carniverous Cavern and its ineloquent effer- vescences to Dix Reeves. Jack Dauben wills his brother to Admiral Byrd, and hopes his next trip will be long and far. Bob Knoderer consigns his power over Miss Schultz to Joe Ryan. Joe Mechem wills his ankle taping job to some poor, poor man. Phil Tefft leaves his Essex to the T. A. C.'s. tlts practically theirs now.j Barbara Baker passes her stentorian voice in English classes to Birdie Schmidt. Marylee Bottenhorn leaves her Golden Locks to Angela Cahagen. Marcelline Miller says that she leaves her knack of blushing and looking flustered to Kay Franks. Betty Jane Snook wills her gift of gab to Herb MacKenzie. Betty Thompson wills a few cylinders to Mr. jackson's Jenny. Don -Clark wills his interpretation of rhythm to the Arlington Band. Harry Sage hands his curly locks down to jim Hayhurst. Mary Arant wills her pull with Mrs. Davis to John Hoagland. Campbell Graf leaves his Joe Penner hat and manner to Bob Snyder. Roger Kennedy passes down to Frank Howe, along with the football cap- taincy, the pleasant task of listening to the ravings of 3,591 assorted alumni. CEach guaranteed differentj John Taylor passes his Rowdy sense of humor on to jimmy Walker. Mary Hoagland leaves her big words to Bob Nosker, for future reference in Virgil. Pat Pfening wills her stately stride to Tootey Scott. Dick Taylor wills his art of thinking up stunts to Beverley Gabrio. Betty Jane Crane bequeaths her volubility to Ruth Smith. John Sisson wills his faculty for stringing teachers to Dean Palmer.

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Why, isn't that the one and only Donovitch Clarkoff talking to Martha Sayers, the trumpet player, and Betty XV. Crane, the psychologist? Mr. Clarkoif, the former Don Clark, has become a star in the movies, playing in ghastly, goon and ghoulish roles. He is a perfect combination of Lon Chaney and Boris Karloff, Clarkoff is discussing Mr. Wm. L. Taylor, the screen's greatest lover. Mr. Taylor is pursuing Helen Pfening, who has become a nun. They say Taylor is simply pining away for her, but she will have nothing to do with him. In the lounge we find Doris and Betty Young hurling insults at Barbara Baker and Lucille Kepley. They all own rival hot-dog stands on the same street. Refereeing the match is Esther Miller, the first woman to swim across the Olen- tangy River. Here also is Betty Tu-mbleson, widow of Burjo Lamb, who was hanged for rustling cattle in Texas, and Mary Hershberger, a member of the Canadian Mounted Police. Passing into the dining room, we meet Frances Pfening, a wild-eyed evan- gelist who gives soul-stirring speeches on street corners, and Kay Denbow, who stands in the crowd and yells Amen! Miss Denbow is the former welfare worker among the Montana Indians. They are watching a magic performance given by Bloney the Great. We see at once that Bloney is none other than Joe Mechem who, in one of his acts, made Sue Flick disappear. She hasn't been seen since. Mr. Mechem tells us that this is a benefit performance, all proceeds going toward the funeral expense of Betty Isaly, Betty Crane, Roberta O'Brien, Ruth Vibber, Jane VV ood and Marylee Bottenhorn, who were asphyxiated at a slumber party last week. wandering down into the engine room, whom do we see but Dick Taylor frying eggs on the exhaust pipe. jack jackson and Roger Kennedy are close by eating egg sandwiches by the dozen. Mr. Kennedy is the man who embezzled 370,000 from his iirm and skipped off to join a revolution in South America. Mr. Taylor, being disappointed in love, agreed to go along and forget that unfaithful dame. jackson merely went along, as he expressed it. to see some of those hot South American babes. Rev. P. W. Tefft, demure little minister, is lecturing the advocates of hen-fruit sandwiches on the evils of ballroom dancing. Hovering in the background, we notice a portly gentleman with a goatee. He looks as if he would like to join the boys, but it seems to be beneath his official dignity. Why, it is none other than J. Fletcher Sisson, the former ambassador to France, who was kicked out for insulting the Prime Minister's daughter. At this point, the loud-speaker system informs us that everyone is to assemble in the dining hall. When the entire group is present, the lights suddenly flicker out and a weird figure with a candle on its nose appears. It is P. Butler Best himself! He is about to speak-- Aha! he says in a cracked voice, at last I have you all where I want you, heh-heh! I always did think this graduating class was a terrible one and would be a burden to humanity, and now I am going to wipe out the whole class, oh, ha-ha! This ship is loaded with T. N. T. and at this moment we are just one thousand miles from the moon, travelling at the speed of fifty miles a second! I have already thrown Mary Hoagland and Jeanne Yantes overboard, and in twenty seconds we crash! One-two--three-good-bye, you fools, heh, heh, heh, eleven--twelve-thirteen-stop screaming, it won't save you-seventeen-eighteen-nineteen--'' The suspense has been rudely interrupted by a loud knocking at the door! It opens suddenly and two uniformed attendants from the Insane Asylum stride in. A 'fCome along, you, says one of them, grabbing P. Butler by the collar, You ve been out long enough now. Why, hhhow dddid you ggget in here F stammers Mr. Sage, We thought we were sssomewhere out in sp-sp-space. Page fifteen

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l i Lucille Kepley promises to pray each night that a few inches of her be trans- ferred to jean Love. Helen Pfening wills her smocks to Betty Mercier. Ruth Vibber wills her disappointing sneeze to some addict of hay fever. Kay Denbow leaves her knitting to someone who wants to untangle yarn. Mary Hershberger wills her hold-out record on joe's Hi-Y pin to any lassy with equal fortitude. Sue Flick bequeaths her fountain of knowledge to Janet Albright. Roberta O'Brien leaves her standing giggle record of 132 per minute to all comers. Jeanne Yantes wills her tap dancing to Martha Liter. VVayne Sharpe wills that nasal twang to Jean Shaffer. Lanora VVilkin hands her Missouri accent on to Mary Ann Dowlen, who should be able to handle all the accents in the school. Betty Tumbleson leaves her ability to argue in Civics class to Vivian Tripp. Doris Young bestows her Leaders Class worries on Kay Tice. Betty Belle Young wills her piano prowess to Janet Ingham. Bill Taylor bequeaths all the fluttering, broken hearts he will leave behind him to Bruise Osborne. Shirley Tice wills her Academic talents to Sam Conrad. Paul Best leaves his Physics Notes to Gene Durantz Bob Bottman hands his lively gait to Miss Horst. John Schwartz wills his bus line to some sucker in South Arlington. Martha Sayers leaves her place in the band to Fred Stamm. Esther Miller bequeaths her swimming laurels to Betty Lewis. Mary Wall leaves her small stature to Dorothy Hohenstine. Mimi Younger leaves her manual training to Elizabeth Martin. George Miser wills his fearlessness in English class to Justin Jones. Eleanor Allen wills her care of Marguerite Beaver to Mary L. Stephan. Betty Isaly wills her sweet disposition to Mary Belle Seely. Jane VVood bequeaths her come-hither brown eyes to Bill Nosker. Rosemary Reed wills her chewing gum to Marty Snouffer. Katherine McKinney wills her leadership to John Garvin. Margaret Schleckman leaves those big, boo'ful eyes for Mac, to Dona Lee Brown. David Lathan passes his stupendous reading ability to Mr. McCullough, who also has reading aspirations. Lynn Doctor wills Benny Clymer to whomever will have him. Betty W. Crane bequeaths her silence to Nancy Cash. Burjo Lamb wills his Uperfectl' behavior to Jim Wilson. VVe, the Senior Class bequeath our overwhelming scholarship to the Juniors, who will have to have something ever to graduate. Miss Hoffman and Mr. McCullough almost willed their resignation to the Arlington School Board after this last year with Arlington's greatest class. NVith best wishes and fondest farewell, we do hereby affix our seal and signature to this, our last Will and Testament. The Class of 1935. DTEANNE YANTES. form SIssoN. Page seventeen