Upper Arlington High School - Norwester Yearbook (Upper Arlington, OH)

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K SENIOR CLASS PROPHECY P. Butler Best, Ph.D., B.A., B.Sc., M.A., P.U., Esq., hereby requests your presence, as a member of the Senior Class of 1935 of Upper Arlington High School, on his first trip to the moon in a rocket ship of his own design. Present this card at the entrance of Toadstool Cave on April 30, 195 5, at 3 :oo P. M. and you will be conducted through a secret tunnel to the private landing Held. P. S.-Have no fear of danger as Mr. Best has been studying the principles of rocket ships for about three weeks and knows all about them. QThese invitations printed through the courtesy of the GRAVENVAULT INSURANCE COMPANY. Take out a policy on your lifej Having debated the question of risking our lives on such a journey, we at last decided to place our trust in P. Butler. Even now we are emerging from the secret tunnel and are about to ascend the gangplank of the ship. Entering with us is Mr. Lynn Doctor, of Doctor and Latham Cough Drops, Guaranteed to kill all coughs or coughers and seven cents back on the bottle. Upon inquiry Mr. Doctor informed us on the side that Mr. Latham had died in a paroxysm of coughing. At the top of the steps is none other than Muriel Younger, the six-day bike champion. Entering the cloak-room, we run into Jake Dauben, the notorious gangster, a'nd his lieutenant, George Miser, former drug-store cowboy, who is trying to gyp a slot-machine. My, but it's good to see all these familiar faces again. Over in the corner Rosemary Reed, a telephone operator, is talking to Betty Snook, first woman senator from Podunk, and Lanora Wilkin, Arizona cow-girl. A porter now appears and tells us to hang on, for we are about to start. With a whir and a rattle and a few unimportant explosions, we feel ourselves picking up speed. Feeling rather sick, we make our way to a porthole where We encounter Bob Knoderer, matinee idol, and Shirley Tice, foreign-language author- ity, also feeling none too chipper. Close beside them, Katherine McKinney, editor of the New Y crrk Times, is chatting with Mary Arant and Eleanor Allen, cele- brated opera stars. Strolling into the recreation room, we meet Bill Albrecht, who rose to fame as an eccentric dancer. Mr. Albrecht is enjoying a game of pool with Harry Sage, rapid-fire sports announcer, Bob Bottman, beer salesmang john Schwartz, a promising barber, and Wayne Sharp, whose rural instincts finally got the better of him and drove him back to the farm. On the other side of the room Mar- celline Miller, the artist who draws the internal anatomy of worms, flies and fleas, is playing ping-pong with john Taylor, the famous daredevil who jumped off the Statue of Liberty with an umbrella in his hand. Over in the corner we see an attractive couple who seem to be very much interested in each other. Well, who should it be but Miss Betty Thompson, ardent junior League worker, and Campbell Graf, dashing young man about town. Watching them with jealous eyes is Margaret Schleckman who gained fame with Barnum and Bailey on the flying trapeze. It is rumored that Mr. Graf jilted her for Miss Thompson. Attracted by a noisy braying across the room, we notice Ferris P. Copper arguing with Mary Wall, the author of The Use of Hieroglyphics and Sedatives Among the Ancient and Prehistoric Peoples of the Euphrates Valley. Mr. Copper, you know, is the renowned chemist who invented Thusum Tablets, which rejuvenate and put new life into one. Page fourteen

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,banana I , t ,Wt .,.rv.,.,-Yaff.. HISTORY OF THE CLASS OF l935 Out of the twenty-six pupils starting in the first grade, only fifteen are grad- uating in our Senior Class-Esther Miller, Helen Pfening, Mary Kay Denbow, Bob Knoderer, Martha Sayers, John Sisson, Betty jane Snook, Betty Winfield Crane, jane NVood, Marcelline Miller, Roberta O'Brien, John Henry Schwartz, Marylee Bottenhorn, and Katherine McKinney and Doris Young, who skipping the first grade, came in inthe second. A Vtfe entered our four years of high school with much fear and trembling as well as elation to think that we were out of the Hgradesu at last and were be- ginning to really be somebody. Qur officers during the four years were: Fresh- man-Phil Tefft, Presidentg Roger Kennedy, Vice-President, Jane NVood, Secre- tary, and Mary Louise Miller, Treasurer. Sophomore-Roger Kennedy, Presi- dent, Campbell Graf, Vice-President, Betty Snook, Secretary and Treasurer. Junior-john Sisson, President, Marcelline Miller, Vice-President, Katherine Mc- Kinney. Secretary, and Phil Tefft, Treasurer. Senior-Roger Kennedy, Presi- dent, Dick Taylor, Vice-President, and Betty Snook, Secretary and Treasurer. During our High School career we were represented very capably in all school activities. A great many of our boys were members of the football and basketball squads, track, tennis and golf teams, and a large number of them won their letters. The girls took their places in the G. A. A. and Leaders' Class and both boys and girls represented us on the Hi-Log and Norwester staffs. They also con- tributed much to the success of Lelawala, the operetta given this year by the Glee Clubs. The leading social event of our Junior year was the Junior-Senior which proved to be a success for everyone concerned. Very eflicient committees were lar el res onsible. Y P Krazy Kapers, one of our big Senior projects, was an outstanding success this year, chiefly because of its diversified program which provided entertainment for everyone. The entertainment included a ballet, a s'prise fight, a musical 'fmelerdramer based on No, No, A Thousand Times No ! ! , a trumpet solo, tap dancing and some high class vocalizing. The Senior-Junior and the Senior Class play are yet to come. lVe are sure that both will be huge successes. Naturally we Qand of course our teachers and schoolmatesj are of the opinion that the Class of 1935 is really superior in all respects to any other' class that has graduated from Upper Arlington High School. NVe feel that the class as a whole possesses unusual talent which will make itself felt in the years to come. We really don't see how the school can get along without us. Thus we finish an account of our years in the Arlington Schools, years re- plete with cherished memories. W'e feel that we owe a debt of gratitude to our teachers for their patience and good-will. We wish to thank all those who assisted us in our struggle for the much-coveted Diploma. BETTY BELLE YOUNG, MARTHA SAYERS. Page thirteen

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Why, isn't that the one and only Donovitch Clarkoff talking to Martha Sayers, the trumpet player, and Betty XV. Crane, the psychologist? Mr. Clarkoif, the former Don Clark, has become a star in the movies, playing in ghastly, goon and ghoulish roles. He is a perfect combination of Lon Chaney and Boris Karloff, Clarkoff is discussing Mr. Wm. L. Taylor, the screen's greatest lover. Mr. Taylor is pursuing Helen Pfening, who has become a nun. They say Taylor is simply pining away for her, but she will have nothing to do with him. In the lounge we find Doris and Betty Young hurling insults at Barbara Baker and Lucille Kepley. They all own rival hot-dog stands on the same street. Refereeing the match is Esther Miller, the first woman to swim across the Olen- tangy River. Here also is Betty Tu-mbleson, widow of Burjo Lamb, who was hanged for rustling cattle in Texas, and Mary Hershberger, a member of the Canadian Mounted Police. Passing into the dining room, we meet Frances Pfening, a wild-eyed evan- gelist who gives soul-stirring speeches on street corners, and Kay Denbow, who stands in the crowd and yells Amen! Miss Denbow is the former welfare worker among the Montana Indians. They are watching a magic performance given by Bloney the Great. We see at once that Bloney is none other than Joe Mechem who, in one of his acts, made Sue Flick disappear. She hasn't been seen since. Mr. Mechem tells us that this is a benefit performance, all proceeds going toward the funeral expense of Betty Isaly, Betty Crane, Roberta O'Brien, Ruth Vibber, Jane VV ood and Marylee Bottenhorn, who were asphyxiated at a slumber party last week. wandering down into the engine room, whom do we see but Dick Taylor frying eggs on the exhaust pipe. jack jackson and Roger Kennedy are close by eating egg sandwiches by the dozen. Mr. Kennedy is the man who embezzled 370,000 from his iirm and skipped off to join a revolution in South America. Mr. Taylor, being disappointed in love, agreed to go along and forget that unfaithful dame. jackson merely went along, as he expressed it. to see some of those hot South American babes. Rev. P. W. Tefft, demure little minister, is lecturing the advocates of hen-fruit sandwiches on the evils of ballroom dancing. Hovering in the background, we notice a portly gentleman with a goatee. He looks as if he would like to join the boys, but it seems to be beneath his official dignity. Why, it is none other than J. Fletcher Sisson, the former ambassador to France, who was kicked out for insulting the Prime Minister's daughter. At this point, the loud-speaker system informs us that everyone is to assemble in the dining hall. When the entire group is present, the lights suddenly flicker out and a weird figure with a candle on its nose appears. It is P. Butler Best himself! He is about to speak-- Aha! he says in a cracked voice, at last I have you all where I want you, heh-heh! I always did think this graduating class was a terrible one and would be a burden to humanity, and now I am going to wipe out the whole class, oh, ha-ha! This ship is loaded with T. N. T. and at this moment we are just one thousand miles from the moon, travelling at the speed of fifty miles a second! I have already thrown Mary Hoagland and Jeanne Yantes overboard, and in twenty seconds we crash! One-two--three-good-bye, you fools, heh, heh, heh, eleven--twelve-thirteen-stop screaming, it won't save you-seventeen-eighteen-nineteen--'' The suspense has been rudely interrupted by a loud knocking at the door! It opens suddenly and two uniformed attendants from the Insane Asylum stride in. A 'fCome along, you, says one of them, grabbing P. Butler by the collar, You ve been out long enough now. Why, hhhow dddid you ggget in here F stammers Mr. Sage, We thought we were sssomewhere out in sp-sp-space. Page fifteen