University of Virginia - Corks and Curls Yearbook (Charlottesville, VA)

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CCDILKS ana CTIJI2-,145 QEDITORYS NOTE.-This article has been expurgated so as to contain no menlion of Zooze or Booze.D U HERE have been several lt f soirees at Virginia this NVQ V46 year, but the best one, so L7 ' ' 'cl b h' h A it is sal y very ig authority, was the party held by the faculty some time during the Christmas vacation. When the Christ- mas conge was nearly over and it was known that the students would be back before long, it was decided to start the l l New Year right by having a party to rival that of the laws, Billy Barlow in- cluded. The S. K. I. L. L. E. T. T. Club, therefore, got together and put a big one over on the community. This organ- ization, which is composed of the two rival factions of the Dry-as-Dusts and the Citric Acids, includes in its membership the most prominent members of the faculty, and rivals its Washington namesake, the Grid- iron Club, in the extent of its blowouts. As the only requisite for admission into the club is a hostility to student pas- times, sworn on the Talmud, its personnel Y' is naturally large. There are some who cry out against the soiree, and others who malign the moving pictures, and a large number, good souls, plead for moderation in all things. Oft in the stilly night, when the Eli boys are banging their loud bassoon, these dear membe1's of the Club pause at their knitting, and talk in mild protest of how much better it would be if the G. A. A. gave up football for chess. Then they say how glad they are to be inside where it is warm and dryg especially dry. Q But all are not this way. Oh, no, thereis Armistead and Albert! When you want to find out anything at the University, the first thing to do is to'go to lVlr. A. lVl. Dobie, who is always regretting for this reason that he is chairman of the Public Celebration Committee. Hither went the bard for information, and was at once kicked out for not taking the precaution to mention that he was not the Topics reporter. ZS

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JEFFERSON STATUE

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CORKS ...na QU RLS Not thus to be deterred, however, he went to the back window of the Colonnade Club, and began the interview: lVlr. Dobielv No answer. as Professor Dobieli' Still no answer. s'Doctor Dobieln A faint sound of complaisance is heard from the back of the room. We knew we could bring him around with the proper kind of talk. u Doctor Dobie, fame is a fickle bird, and we are here to put down in five-point brevier what might escape from the unretentive minds of the multitude. I-lave you a heart so blind to the plaudits of posterity as to refuse to consecrate to generations yet unborn the knowledge that is their due? Let the warble of your silver tongue be heard, and having spoke, speak on. First, let me hear something of your historyf, This was a pretty long talk for the trembling reporter, and he had hardly prepared his pad and pencil before the grandiloquent doctor returned from interviewing Webster and Wo1'cester, where he had been looking up the right word. With a look of benignity and without the slightest sarcasm, Doctor Dobie answered: Sir, I can scarce conceive the flippancy and presumptuousness with which you dare to enter the hallowed halls of the Colonnade Club, but I will, at the cost of much annoy- ance to me, tell you something of my life: I was born a tender infant, but soon began to alarm my parents with forebodings of my future. I was sent to Rapidan University and at once forged to the front in every field open to the student. I managed every team there and ran all of the publications. I was a charter member of the order of Screech Owls, and a squab in '02 of the aerie of Ravens. There are frequent references to my career in the Rotunda Law Register, 7 Jackpot 711, and for further details see Post fwashington or Saturday Evening, Potash V. PerlmutterJ, and the cross reference to Hoyle, ante 3 Rudle 99. I was a prominent student before Bory ran for President of the G. A. A. and Johnny Larowe went in the pool-room business with Pierpont Morgan. I studied law in my leisure moments and, as Professor Graves, penalties were not invented then, finally landed one of the B. L. degrees, which are now becoming extinct because of faculty regulation. I set the Mississippi on fire during my brief stay at the St. Louis bar, and came back to tell about it at College I-Iour. Incidentally, although I dislike notoriety with all the force of my young legal soul, I am a law professor, and have made B. A. Math a prerequisite to my course in Partnership. More I would not tell, but as they have made me the publicity bureau, the advisability of notability outweighs the sensi- bility of humilityf, Here the infant Demosthenes paused, and the pencil was rapidly sharpened to write down the facts about the soiree. ' 29