University of Virginia - Corks and Curls Yearbook (Charlottesville, VA)

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to elect him president of the Class. But as luck would have it, there were certain corkg bold and bad men who thought they could out-Herod Herod in deep-laid schemes, ano Curls and they settled upon an auburn haired youth, one Bryan, thinking that he could easily pull votes to the tune of 16 to I. There were no platforms, Kansas City or otherwise. There were no stump speeches. The candidates stood upon. their personal merits and popularity, and on these grounds each had, it seemed, unequaled Chances for success. For many days the opposing candidates smiled at one another across the dinner table, for both were tt Colts? and discussed the situation. Atvlast the day of reckoning came, and for many hours Plato, the instructor of Alexander, solicitous for the welfare of his pupils name-sake, looked down from the tt School of Athens ii upon the motley throng as they polled their votes. Who ever happened to be on the lawn about five oiclock that afternoon must have been convinced that it was a great day in the annals of the University,afor Bob Stewart, tt the famous dyspectic and Mr. Dooley writer? forgot his troubles and with heart-stirring shouts announced to the anxious crowd that the race had been to the Fleet, and that the candidate of the Livelies had won by a single majority. Thus begun and ended the campaign that has given the only opportunity for con- Certed action on the part of the class now inhabiting the Academic Building, the centre of learning of the University. But though as a class we have not been brought into especial prominence, yet we hope and expect that individual efforts and abilities will make the Class of 1904 something more than a name in the history of the Univer- sity of Virginia. Dame Academia must already look proudly on those grown-up sons of hers who are bending under the weight of Clark on Contracts, and First Minor, and walk around the University like young book stores. What a number of tickets they carry 1 tickets so difficult that they are completed in a month or so, and have to be bunched together in order to make a respectable examination, such as the lawyers were accustomed to stand when they were Academs. And those other fellows used to study pretty well too, whom you see, except when they are loafing at the corner, dragging around a string of bones which they learnedly call tibias, ulnas, and phalanges. They are careful, you notice, at the beginning of the session, to Choose the most roundabout way to their rooms, and to make their hideous burden rattle in a heart- less way. There is still another Class, not altogether so degenerate, but still far from the old paths of Academic quiet. These bury themselves in dusky cellars, and make all possible hubbub with big, black, greasy machines; or they sit up till twelve oiclock every Saturday night working on their plzzles. We dont exactly understand the nature of the last mentioned terrors, but imagine they must be much more disagreeable to deal with than the porcelain variety. And, if the engineers will excuse us, we fear that they, like ourselves, are much more expert with knife and fork than with Com- pass and square. That the Academic department has its drawbacks and imperfections, we are well aware. There swarm the grinds, who bury themselves alive in all sorts of musty volumes, and have no regard for their fellow students, or for anything except the little that may be learned from books. And then we have to contend with the throng of embryo lawyers and doctors who are either too young or too lazy to go to work, and think they find in Academic Class rooms a respectable loaflng place in which to waste a session. And what shall we say of those misdirected individuals who are preparing to gaze upon the world through the smoky glasses of a pedagogue? But in spite of IO

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5. Maaaawww N 115139 manemz bl ht from the burdened heart of the unfortunate composer. ttO for a new stunt Iii he sighs; and well he may sigh, if he hopes to do anything but make a contribution to the rubbish heap. Every device possible has been called into requisition. We have had poems, satires, dramas, prose serious and funny, and dreams galore. All sorts of spirits and goddesses seem to be up the chimney or in the Closet of the editor, ready to appear through the Hames, or to treat closed doors as if they were as unsubstantial as a University dinner. It always happens, too, on a tt midnight drearyf, when the wind is C1eaking you1 shutters, or if you live on Dawsons Row, is undulating your carpet into gentle waves. But we have tried in vain to summon some tascinating Vision fIOm the realm of dreams. We have swung the sixteen-candle power bulb in mystic Circles, and muttered all the incantations of Dr. Faustus; but neither Mr. Lewis Morrison nor any other spirit-white or red, deigns to favor us, not even our illustrious founder, who is usually very accommodating along this line.' Even the regions of poetry a1e closed to us f01 we defy anyone to grow sentimental, when he has nothing better to look at than a Randall Building radiator. However, all situations have their redeeming qualities, and the Ila! az'r fur- nished by the aforesaid article may prove useful. The Academic Class of the Un1versity of Virginia was founded in 1826 by Thomas Jefferson. After some years it sank into partial obscurity, but was brought again into prominence by being rediscovered by Christopher Columbus II, of Latin fame, who was rewarded by a long and successful career under the Peterian dispensation. Some- where in the dim distance Mr. Robinson, M. P., alias Bory, appeared upon the scene, and by his political sagacity reorganized the Class. He was also the originator of the i0 Academic Upper Ten, who call themselves by two Greek letters, but whose real name is Lively Politikaters. The above mentioned M. P., and his band of supporters were undisputed cocks of the political wall; for many years, and played an important part in one of the fiercest struggles that ever disturbed our Academic peace. There was in the Class a modern Alexander the Great, known to his friends as Genial Willie, who could have put it all over his Macedonian ancestor with baseball bat, boxing hl T has become conventional for the class history to open with a lament aka. am g gloves, or tennis racket. This popular and accomplished Academ was recognized by ; the Livelies as a well-nigh invincible Champion in the political lists, and they decided 9

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all this waywardness among her sons, and in spite of her generosity in lending to the other classes, from time to time, suchtcelebrities as tt Sunny Jim ii and A. M. Dobie, Gorkg our foster mother, the guardian spirit of Academs, works on faithfully and makes mm Qurlg better men of all those among us who are wise enough to heed her precepts. And now the radiator is becoming cold, and with it the hot air, which has ably assisted our feeble efforts in this prosaic article. History it is not, and does not pur- port to be. Whoever is brave enough to undertake a 607m jfde history of the present Academic class has our admiration and best wishes. Of one thing, however, we are . sure, that before such an aspirant to fame has spun off many pages of foolscap he 1 will come to the conclusion that if the annals of the olden times had been as difficult, Thucydides, Tacitus, Gibbon, and Macaulay, would have hung out the sign tt To Let l over their oflice doors, and would have inserted an ad. for a new job in some ancient Tee-Dee ttwantl, column. But though the history of the class of io4 is not Clearly defined in beginning or progress, yet its completion is vividly apparent to our imaginations: that much longed-for hour when the fortunates among us, seated in the tt horse-shoef, shall for one brief moment feel themselves heroes, as the public hall echoes the familiar yell : i VVah-hoo-wah, wah-hoo-wah l U-ni-V Virginia ! Hoo-rah-rhay, hoo-rah-rhay l Rlzay, Rlzay, U. V. A. i Academ! Academ! Academ!