University of Tennessee Knoxville - Volunteer Yearbook (Knoxville, TN)

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Anyone who has attended UT for any length of time should be acquainted with the institution's complex manner of handling its affairs. And graduation is no exception. But for those innocents who have not yet learned the red hr orangew tape ways of the university, we are presenting a timetable. Uuniors, take noteJ . 'x l h K 'i:s;

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en was the last time you were is acco spitting contest? Or tried; ch a greased pig? Or tried to climb a eased pole? These and other events Fre part of Morrill Hall's Day on the m , October 22. Contestants vied L; a prizes such as certificates for pizza . 'd beer donated by local merchants. .arm Day proved that at least some 'ple haven't forgotten the old-

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0mmge Squeeze , 1. When you pre-register for that final nostalgic quarter, pick up an application for a 3.8., check your well-worn senior standing sheet and pray you will get all your courses. If you are lucky, you will receive one of your last three required classes which means you will have to bribe andlor threaten only a couple of instructors. 2. When you receive the check- in - early - because-your -classes-are- too - full - to -admit-you postcard, don't panic. Run, do not walk, to your advisor lit could be a good time to get acquaintedl and use almost any information possible to blackmail hither into arranging your admittance into that crucial Underwater Basketweaving 1110. Advisors are generally helpful at this point and will kindly inform you of your possible alternatives or substitutions lif there are any.l Unfortunately, advisors also make mistakes and can recommend the wrong substitute courses. But more on that later. 3. Do not be surprised when the university holds its hand out to you several times during your last quarter. Do not mistake this gesture for one of goodwill, but recognize it as an uncompromising demand for one more fee - for the privilege of leaving. Do yourself a favor - pay it. Staying in school another quarter is more expensive in the long run. But don't worry, it won't be the last time you write a check payable to UT if you are planning to attend the graduation exercises. 4. Once classes have started and you have gotten your schedule straightened out, you may experi- ence a foreboding sensation. This is your last quarter and you CAN NOT put off your courses any more. You CAN NOT drop. This is it. You MUST pass. You may have worried about passing a course before, but that is nothing com- pared to the frantic feeling you have now. Now you must choose between passing the class or enduring the wrath of your parents. 5. About three weeks into the quarter, start hounding your post- man. You should be getting a form - an orange form - letting you know that yes, you are indeed scheduled to graduate. It will also politely hold all your fees over your head - traffic fees, library fees, invitation fees and cap and gown fees. If you do not get this form, start worrying. It could be that the Appalachian Basketweaving course does NOT substitute for the Underwater Basketweaving course, contrary to your advisor's sugges- tion. In that ease, you might have to pick up another class on the double. 6. About now, you probably will be concerned about getting a job. After all, you have to go some- where after June 10. You may suffer from an irresistable urge to go check out the placement center, since it's on the way to class anyway. Some employers may send representatives to your college to interview you, among others. This can be problematic, particular- ly if you are competing with some of your friends for the same job. But employment is employment, and you have been constantly reminded of the real world's dog-eat-dog nature. 7. The magical day is approach- ing and you had better send out some of those invitations. You may protest at first, but parents have a way of prevailing. 8. Graduation day has finally arrived, and chances are you will be sweltering under that gown. It is also 9 am. and you might be feeling the effects of your last collegiate night. Get in line one more time. Well, unless you are standing at the unemployment office tomorrow provided step number six did not work out. Walk across the stage to receive your blank sheet of paper, say cheese for your aunt with the polaroid, and swallow the big orange that may be choking you up a bit. by Susan Fink