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Page 29 text:
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Philosophy A philosophy major once asked Dr. Stewart for a list of reading material required for the philosophy course the student happened to be taking at the time. Dr. Stewart told the would-be philosophy major to read the PHI- LOSOPHY OF SNOOPY AND LINUS, and an H in the course was assured. If you should happen to be walking down the hallowed halls of the Humanities building and a toga-wearing creature attacks you, be not afraid — it is only Dr. Thurman pursuing his fondest dream of being the reincarnation of Julius Caesar, Beware of the accurate jav- elin throwing arm of Dr. Wood, and the Ci- ceronian oratorical manner of speech used by Dr. Cooper guaranteed to utterly confuse the Classics major. Be careful not to evoke their wrath, thousands of centuries of dust lay at their command. Classics 25
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Page 28 text:
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Biology The Biology department is quite famous for their snake hunts. Upon returning from their Beaufort trips, they promptly lose the snakes and whatever else they have around. Their excuse for coming back without binoculars, but with wet cameras was that the boat over- turned. These people head a very studious depart- ment. Every night you find their students hard at work in the labs. Favorite projects include dancing on the tables and singing Mickey Mouse songs, squirting water out the win- dows at fellow students or passing cars and decoupaging Playboy pictures on projector screens. Chemistry 24
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Page 30 text:
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History A strange dust-covered body was seen walk- ing around the Humanities building. Accord- ing to reliable sources (The RidgerunnerJ the antiquated creature was none other than Dr. Walker, chairman of the History depart- ment. When asked how he had reached such a state. Dr. Walker replied, Dr. Trullinger decided to clean up my department. Unfor- tunately, he chose my throne-room to de- posit the aftermath of his cleaning expe- dition. Dr. Shorb, chairman of the Literature de- partment, was discussing the usage of preten- tious diction with Mr. Gillum and Ms. Jones. The conclusion reached decided by Dr. Shorb was, pretentious diction was a con- crete unchangeable part of the Literature de- partment and as such the entire discussion was inconsequential. Literature 26
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