University of Missouri - Savitar Yearbook (Columbia, MO)

Page 33 text:

will entertain the hallucination that we are egotistic. Far from it. We have received our full quota of Hunks. We have been entirely susceptible to the sirens of flattery and the furies of ambition that assail every participant in the maelstrom of University life. Some of us are yet meekly dissecting that inevitable crawfish and ruminating upon the sad irony of drowsy days in freshman existence. Others are sti cudgeling their brains to extract the enviable ' -seventN ' from the maze of trigonometrical functions. But say the worst of us you can. What is history, anyway, but a grand libel upon humanity. The more villianous we become the more fit for historical manuscripts we are. Among the pernicious vocations adopted by these Juniors my only trouble is to determine the most adept in his calling. Dewey is evidently the most baseballi.sh man of all. C. M. Jackson is our scientist, than whom the University can pro- duce no greater. Smith is our poet. Erato must have brewed an enormously vile concoction for him. Barnes is our oracle of war. Majors, coxetous as usual, holds lock and key guarding the portals to our maiden ' s affections. And Sam Banks! IIow he thrusts his fists his head above, and still insists he ' s not in love. Sally Jones defies comment. Zollic Gray, — may Gabriel forget to wind his bugle if we forget our Zollie. But enough. What is histor) ' , said Napoleon, ' ' but fables agreed upon. Fables and falsehoods .occupy nearly the same ground. St. Peter rec- ognizes no prevaricator. If, then, liy rare good fortune your humble historian has not already been consigned eternally to the realms of per- dition, he will cease to tempt further the mercies of divine proxidence.