University of Massachusetts Amherst - Index Yearbook (Amherst, MA)

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the fall leaves. At 7:58, he whizzes down Fraternity Row and pedals up the Old Chapel hill just as coeds break into a run for their eight o ' clock class. (It ' s his gear shifts that get him there.) He is present among innocent gather- ings of students everywhere. Bull sessions inevitably turn from the last U.S.O. dance to a baffling discussion buzzing with f utilitarian irony, and religious hu- manism (not to be confused with moral humanism ), natural super- naturalism, and the twofold law of righteousness. The outsider is left some- what in the dark; but when he hears the Renaissance discussed in terms of per- vasive dualism and master dilemma, he knows he is dealing with a student of Dr. Goldberg. So what ' s and curlecues which, upon deciphering, turn out to be question marks printed across a freshman ' s scru- pulously composed argumentative theme, are another clue to identification of this remarkable professor. Which comes first, the chicken or the egg? is the Doctor ' s paraphrase of the more usual comment, illogical se- quence. Is it surprising that Dr. Gold- berg ' s marginal remarks rate high in the appreciation of his students? Recently, a freshman even received personal advice on a margin, after having emphatically explained the purely Platonic nature of his interest in a girl. Quoth the wise counsellor, Watch out! In class. Dr. Goldberg is famous for austerity, but strangely so ; for Li ' l Abner often makes an appearance in his literary discussion; and he dramatizes effectively the spitting schoolmaster from J. A. Rice ' s Cavie Out of the Eighteenth Cen- tury. For many, the onion will long impersonate Beowulf. And, as we peel tearfully, Dr. Goldberg ' s analogy of the accretive layers in Beowulf ' s character will be painfully evident at the disclosure of each additional layer. When Dr. Goldberg reverts to serious- ness, all sorts of things may happen. Once, when he had just expounded the difference between moral and re- ligious humanism, — at that crucial moment — a string of pearls broke. There, remarked Dr. Goldberg with gratification, you see how emphatically I stated that? As a matter of fact. Doctor G. is usually emphatic, except in asserting his privilege of closing the period, which the class grants him with exceptional generosity. There is an alarm clock on his table; but, much to the secret disappointment of students, it does not go off with a loud clamor, for it is not set. Invariably, therefore. Dr. Goldberg carries his in- spiring enthusiasm to a rapt audience several minutes beyond the end of the period. His are some of the very few students who do not object to running to their next class, in exchange for a closing remark on the compleat gentleman or on Daisy Mae. Skip If the scurrying figure of a small- statured man is sighted in the Mathemat- ics Building, it is undoubtedly Professor Moore — better known to the students as Dinty . Besides being head of the mathematics department, he is also the motivating force behind the Mathe- matics Club. To those who lack the opportunity of becoming acquainted with Dinty, he may at first appear to be gruff and abrupt. However, those who are acquainted with him realize and enjoy the real Dinty, for under his seeming harshness is as friendly and sympathetic a professor as can be found on campus. Perhaps it is through his apparent brusqueness that he com- mands the attention, awe, and respect of so many students, particularly the 13

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way he vanished without awaiting his present after the first operetta we won- dered — and so did the audience — but Doric ' s seeming patience at rehearsals is really a study in self-control — maybe he uses yogi. Speaking of rehearsals, there is Doric ' s habitual relaxing. Many a coed has wondered audibly why he bothered to get all dressed up anyway. Almost invariably Doric arrives at rehearsals with jacket, sweater, shirt and tie. Right at the beginning, he lays aside his jacket, preparing for action, then at intervals in the succeeding ten minutes, he rolls up his shirtsleeves, loosens his tie, opens his shirt collar, takes off his sweater and removes his tie in approximately that order, meanwhile stretching his sweater — while he retains it — nearly down to his knees. It is almost impossible to picture Doric as a member of the faculty. One of the first profs incoming freshmen meet, he has been taken frequently for a senior, so lacking is all pomp and most dignity. Informal, friendly, collegiate, admired and liked for the verve and spirit he brings to campus doings, he commands, nevertheless, as much respect as docs the most austere professor. To put it briefly — a really swell guy, that ' s Doric. Katie QluUit tui4. Pilx Ufiusx Where are you going . To the infirmary, to have my throat sprayed. Haven ' t you been yet? The flu epidemic on campus seemed to be reaching alarming dimensions. Rumors of a-patient-every-other-minute records were being spread and made to appear plausible by the migrations headed away from classroom buildings toward the ex-Phi-Sig house, now the Student In- firmary, since the Army took over the original di-spensary of bandages and cold- pills. Late one night, a merry group of freshman girls skipped and giggled down Fraternity Row. Asked where they were going, they replied in chorus with the old refrain: To the infirmary. Soon, every healthy person left on campus hesitated to confess to his ab- normal condition. The feeling seemed to prevail that, if one did not manifest one ' s school spirit by sharing the common torture of having his throat painted, one might at least co-operate to the extent of sniffing and coughing a bit. Other means had failed to get the Christmas vacation extended. Surely the Board of Health could be convinced, by mass action, that an epidemic student body should not be subjected to contaminated last-minute hour examinations. Did you hear that we are going to be dismissed at Convo? Not until then? I thought we weren ' t going to be here after Wednesday noon. At any rate, rumors, as usual optimis- tic, soon made rosy results out of the yearning snifl ' s of coeds. There was even supposed to have been a faculty meeting called on the subject. A specific professor was praised for having advocated the cause of the long vacation. But Wednesday came and went, and nothing happened. Thursday arrived, and students sneezed and yawned through Convo; still the administration was silent and unmoved. There were reports that the infirmary was not quite so crowded on Friday morning. The pilgrimage had been unsuccessful; and the frustrated pilgrims, equipped with coughdrops and red noses, were homeward bound. Eva Schiffer jbocto Q. Have you seen the little man with the large straw hat digging up the Butter- field Terrace Victory gardens? Armed with felt cap and rake, he labors among 12

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traditionally timid, fearful freshmen. A favorite tradition handed down from class to class and associated with Profes- sor Moore is that of his two definitions of infinity. Selecting a lengthy piece of chalk, he proceeds to the last blackboard in the far corner of the room, draws a continuous line from blackboard to black- board until he has exhausted all the avail- able board space in the classroom and approached a window, opens the window and casts the chalk out into space — and there, students, is his first definition of infinity. His second is similar to the first. As before, he continues the line until all the board space has been used, but now he approaches the door. The chalk — and Professor Moore — leave the room, and are seen no more during that hour. Such are the legends of Dinty — and infinity ! A habit for which Professor Moore is also noted pertains to the cleanliness of his boards. This he accomplishes by clutching an eraser in his left hand while writing with his right. The eraser chases the chalk at a fairly constant distance of about two words. In accordance with the Lamarckian theory students in his classes have developed remarkably keen and quick eyesight, as attempts to see the writing interposed between chalk and eraser, and screened by Dinty ' s body have provided effective exercise for the visual nerves. A brilliant man, Dinty often fails to comprehend the difficulties that many encounter in mathematics. He expects the student to have a thorough under- standing of the subject before taking the course. Unfortunately, the average stu- dent cannot measure up to his standards. However, all enjoy his eccentricities and, congratulating him on his twenty-fifth anniversary, wish him twenty-five more years of teaching here. JiMMIE 1944 is the Index ' s anniversary too — the seventy-fifth. . 2 . Doctor Torrey refers to him as Red O ' Donnell who never said much but had a good head in Botany. Those who do not know him often mistake him for a stu- dent. Those who say they know him often mistake him. As he walks the campus with a dreamy smile, eyes on the ground, or with an intense stare, many have drawn the conclusion that he is not pre- occupied with the harmony of cadet spirituals. They may call him a dreamer, but his is not so flimsy a thing as a reverie. When a student brushes by and bids him good morning, he looks up a little bit scared and answers only after bringing his mind from Kubla Khan ' s pleasure dome or Plato ' s Republic. When Dr. O ' Donnell walks into the classroom, a student reports, she feels a kindly impulse to take him by the hand and say reassuringly, It ' s all right — come on in. Don ' t be afraid. What a change in him, when once he stands, very straight, behind the lecturn. He is seldom hilariously funny as his is the subtle humor that not all understand, not many remember, and few quote. Yet it spices his lectures and stimulates alertness. Shuffling his notes, he embarks upon his perilous method of drawing class argu- ment — or, rather, of provoking it. This he often attempts by taking a stand contrary to his own opinion. In one such instance, he found the class unanimously agreeing with the argument which he wanted them to refute. He was faced with the problem whether to leave them in ignorance or, for their enlightenment, to expose his deception. He redeemed himself by con- fession. One may well suspect, too, a transfer of this reliance upon the effectiveness of opposition to his treatment of grammar. Does he concentrate on this delight to freshmen so conscientiously so as to stim- ulate a craving for literature. Such seems 14