University of Maryland Baltimore Dental School - Mirror Yearbook (Baltimore, MD)

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Warmth is to me vitally essential. A high tem- perature, so destructive to other micro-organisms is what I revel in. Whilst the most powerful disinfect- ants do not affect me, yet, frigidity in any form, either in the icy stare or the cold clammy hand is to me a death-dealing agent. Receive this booklet in the jolly spirit in which it was written : may its perusal in after years bring to your minds many mirthful incidents of college days, and may these reminiscences act as a beam of the health-giving glorious sunlight upon your life is the earnest wish of your true friend, the Bacterium of Mirth of the Baltimore College of Dental Surgery. And it may be well to remind you, ever-dissatisfied, hypercritical friend, whoever you may be that Great wits sometimes may gloriously offend And rise to faults true critics dare not mend.

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vague and confounding, as unintelligible and unten- able as your theories. I have revealed myself. It is I or better I am It. What is my modus operandi? did you ask. Ha, ha, I am aware of the fact that you can interrogate. So can I. What else are you capable of doing? That question requires deep thought and a thorough and reverential communion with your conscience to answer truthfully. Ah well, I have had my revenge and have regained my natural disposition of good-fellowship and helpful- ness. My methods are various. I have no old. moth-eaten, stereotyped method of procedure. Human nature in all its moods and phases constitutes my study, and in order that the best results from my work may be ob- tained, I must be, as you would say, the personifica- tion of versatility. I act upon all the functions, either separately or col- lectively. At times I enter the stomach with the food, whether solid or liquid, generally the latter, and not aqueous, and from that organ as an operative station, so stimu- late the cerebral cells as to call forth a flow of wit that is a better digestant than pepsin or trypsin. I am the originator of dental banquets. Again, the or- gans of special sense are frequently utilized by me in the performance of my duties. I may enter the system through the intricate mech- anism of the ear with the melodious strains of our glee and mandolin clubs or through the nasal mucous mem- brane, safely secreted in the highly-scented folds of sulphuretted hydrogen. Or, perchance, an occasion may present itself of gaining an entrance epidermatic- allv as in the vigorous, friendly clasp of hands. But at times, happily infrequently, I find subjects with functions so disordered and senses so distorted and obtunded that to operate upon which and be jolly, is indeed a feat worthy of Mark Tapleyan steel. In such cases I am constrained to bore through the occi- put and exert a stimulant action directly upon the nerve centres ; and sad to relate, even then, at times, suffer defeat. The organism of these unfortunate beings is so saturated with bacteria antagonistic to me that I enter at the risk of my life. I am afraid that you cannot intelligently comprehend a recital of the magnificent operations of Nature, which my characteristic action upon the nervous system incites ; and which results in physical and mental good to all who are in range of the power of its influence. To understand, to have a clear mental vision of the beautiful workings of Nature is a pleasure yet in store for you. And now, kind friends, accept me for what I am, a help-mate, yea, a necessary adjunct of life. For, what is life without me? Accord me encouragement ; aid me in furthering my good work and receive me in the manner I justly de- serve, welcoming me with a warm embrace.

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LIBRARY BALTIMORE COLLEGE