University of Denver - Kynewisbok Yearbook (Denver, CO)

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History of the Class of 1909 rSome sixty centuries ago an event took place which was to he of tremendous importance in the world’s history—the placing of Adam in the Garden of Eden. This event was important, because it made possible the Class of 1909. Of the generations of our ancestors and the mighty men among them who struggled to maintain this possibility—of the Mussel-men; of the heart-breaking voyage of Columbus and the blood-curdling exploits of Buffalo Bill, only lengthy courses in room No. 13 can give a worthy conception. Be the past as it may, the Class of 1909 came into existence on the 12th day of September, 1905. And no one could well l e ignorant of our existence, for we came forth with a crash and a bang; with a big blue flag that waved over the campus for three days, undefiled by the touch of the Sophomore; and with glaring of posters, that told this same Sophomore that he and his class had ceased this mortal life and had to be interred by the Freshman. And when the mighty Chancellor had tenderly (?) persuaded us to haul down our flag and wash our posters off, the wise ones scratched their heads, and said: “Ah, some life has come into the school; surely they will not allow things to lag.” And if they referred to the Sophomores, we certainly fulfilled expectations. We kept them on the jump for their lives. Buie No. 5, on the back of the Registration Card, “Sophomores are positively prohibited from hazing Freshmen,” pleased us immensely and we enforced it to the letter. But we could not make them fight. We published a Freshman number of the Clarion (the best of the year, too) in which we ridiculed them, and satirized them, and lampooned them, but it all availed us naught; their spirit was like that of a Greeley potato. In distress we sought revenge on the Juniors, and tossed their president with such vigor that the blanket was split and a tragedy was narrowly avert e I. Our last despairing thrust at the Sophomores was made on May-day, when we hoisted their effigy on the campus. But,alas! wiser heads than ours had decreed that the innocent had suffered sufficiently, ami over the touching scenes that followed, we must tenderly draw the veil. These efforts were merely recreation, however, we did not give all our time to terrorizing the helpless and disturbing the faculty. We struggled manfully with surds and logarithms, with Shakespeare, and the times of Napoleon. And we secured our full share of college honors. We won the Freshman-Sophomore Oratories’ Contest, the Clarion prize for the l est story, and the Ky-nrwi fbok story ami poem contest. We proved our worth •and we have tried our might, and we confidently awaited the future. As Sophomores, times were no longer troubled, because we did not choose to have them so. We disapproved of the pranks that had delighted us the year l efore, and refused to permit them. When the Freshmen attempted our old flag stunt, we simply hauled the little green rag down, and pursued “the even tenor of our way.” Neverthelass, we kept ourselves well toward 35

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Juniors CLASS OFFICERS. Guy Hammitt............................ Victor Johnson ........................ Helen Rowell........................... Lloyd Neill............................ ,.... President Y ice-President .....Secretary ... .Treasurer CLASS COLORS. Blue and White. ★★★ Cl.ASS FLOWER. Anemone. ★★★ CLASS MOTTO. Facere aut rumperc. CLASS YELL. Freshman? Naw! Sophomore? Bah! Senior? Pshaw! Junior? Yah! Fine! Fine! Superfine! We’re the Clans of Nineteen Nine! our mascot 34

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the head of affairs. Both the manager and the editor of the Clarion were of our class, and again we won the Freshman-Sophomore Oratorical Contest, and tied for first place in the local contest; the only contests taking place throughout the year. And then we gave a Class Play. The theater trust offered us thousands to desist, but we spurned all their advances, and gave our show. Our success may be judged by the number of imitations we have had this year. And this brings us down to the present time. The editor of the Clarion is still a Junior, and so is the Captain of the basket-ball team. We have won no contests because there have been none. No one seems to desire to compete with us. bast November our altruism prompted us to get out a paper called the Junior Hammer, in which we showed our fellow-students the error of their ways, and we hope they have reformed. This has been the only event of the year, and with it our history ends. In narrating times as great and startling as these our minds have been filled with awe, our emotions have been touched and our imaginations kindled. Our thoughts have been elevated far above the vulgar earth, to places beyond our ken. And somewhere in that indefinite infinitude, known as the Great Beyond, we can sec the shade of a mighty man, beaming down upon us, the Class of 1909. His chest swells with pride, and his face shines with satisfaction. “And to think, Eve dearest,” he says to the lady shade who stands beside him, “to think they are our children.” Finis. 36