University of Wisconsin Madison - Badger Yearbook (Madison, WI)

Page 20 text:

10 nrt: VNii-K tsrrr badges. Wc sincerely believe that it is destined to do a great work in this world, perhaps to prop the baby up at the table or hold the Prex’a door open. But the Badger is •• hootid to tome oat ahtvid. We have made a most careful research for appropriate witticisms and have succeeded in selecting, from a great, conglomerated mass of material, the very best quality. In order to make our book a grand and glorious success wc were obliged to •• pul our foot down on old and dale p»Ar» “ from the very beginning. Systematic and careful selection after due and mature reflection has enabled us to present the reader with fall lime of the best quality of puns, jokes, college occurrences, freshman oddities, sophomore soporifics, junior intelligence and senior smartness: also university data, class affairs and in fact everything of interest happening in the institution duriitg the past year. Wc now place this valuable book on the market, asking the indulgent reader if wc have not fulfilled our mission. Inothcr words

Page 19 text:

ra TflR ViV riMW TT BA PORK 9 you can get a full set for 30 cents. Prof. Jast row's handbook of Psychology used to sell for 40 cents, now you can get it for about 7 cents. The price of the Badgi’k is low. It is well worth several times what we have decided to ask for it. We have made you ••a t r efrr. m As a leading humorist has said: “ I want to do all the good I can in my poor, weak way. anti so I would rather disseminate 500000 low priced books than to print a $27.00 book and have to read it myself.' We feel as he did. The BADor.a is really priceless in its value, but we have endeavored not to place it •• Mr • nrvK'Xi of any. You should not fail to read and reread this choice collection of choice things. It is There arc various ways of being “way up.” The venturesome lineman on the cross-bar of a telegraph pole is “way up” in one sense of the word, but the IUdt.fr is “way up in every sense, and contains all the choice jokes of the year. The book does not treat of things in a high, top-lofty manner, but uses the language of the people. It can be as readily understood by the pharmics as by the senior classical . It is for the people, and is written in a delightful style and is sure to please. Now is your opportunity to get a bargain and you should “ 0rv,r. U ritK !

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TUB VSIVEBSiTY B ADO UK. 11 T© YV)bom |t Tf[CL f Gonccrn. It will surely be granted by all fair-minded persons that after the members of this Badger Board shall have been dead and buried for some hundred years or more, it will scarcely be just for anyone to attack this production and prove that we were not the authors; for after long and careful research we have discovered that we arc. and below we give the (if'fu r which brought this momentous fact to our attention. Our reason for publishing it lies in our desire to prevent any future discussion on the part of a second Ignatius Donnelly, or Arthur Bulfinch. Grasp the Baik; :r firmly but gently at its lower edge with the left hand.the book being right side up. In counting utilize the index finger of the right hand to mark the words. Commencing at the north-west corner of page twenty-two. and counting very slowly and carefully, you will discover the forty-second word to lx- we.” Now by a little research you will find that the word we” occurs exactly six times in the first forty-two words,—significant is it not ? Let us see. Adding 42 to 4 we obtain 46. and the forty-sixth word from the word ' we,” mentioned above, is wrote.” Now by counting on to the two hundred and tenth word, then counting seven words more, then skipping a word and counting the first hyphenated word as one word and the others as two distinct words, you reach the word this. Kindly notice what words we use a hyphen in and what not. It will be observed that hyphens arc never used in words with but one syllable. This is obviously a part of a cunningly devised scheme. Now turn to the seventy-eighth page, and counting up from the bottom of the page to the twentieth word we find it to be “book. —i. c.. you will find that to be the twentieth word if you make a mistake in the count as we did. Next multiply 20 by 8 and you obtain 160; add 20 and you gel 180; count 180 words from book, and then count 4 words more and you will find the one hundred and eighty-fourth word from the last mentioned “book” to be our.” Recall the fact that you counted our words more than one hundred and eighty. I times 1 So is 720. Divide 720 by 72 and you obtain to, if your process is similar to ours. Multiply this 10 by 42. the first member used.and you get a result of 420. Now. you will find that the four hundred and twentieth word from the beginning of the book, omitting the preface, is selves. Now let us see what we have obtained. We wrote this book our selves.”