University of Wisconsin Madison - Badger Yearbook (Madison, WI)

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8 THE HADCIER. But. to take you into our confidence entirely, we must tell you that Mr. Y. objected because, as he said, good looking people always take bad pictures, while Mr. W. said he would never consent to have his grandchildren know that he had not raised a moustache at the age of twenty-one You see, gentle reader, there were weighty considerations for withholding from you this boon; trusting that you have not fully digested the doss ad- ministered by our illustrious predecessors, we hope for indulgence. Among our new departures is the Contribution Box; the original, being of a yellowish hue. was placed in Main Building hall-way as a receptacle for such varied effusions of men- tal energy as might happen to break forth. Was ever success more marked! At first its purpose was mistaken by the innocent seniors headed by Deacon B.. who dropped into it their scanty shekels as a thank-offering to their ■ ' lalla. When they learned their mistake it was too late, for Mr. H. had already appropriated the funds, which our business partners invested in one of those extended bums they so charmingly style hunting ads. But no sooner had the college population caught on to the true intent of our mysterious box, than they began to pour in upon us a mighty flood of poems, jokes, chestnuts, and such other diverse and variegated chattels as will be detailed at length under the proper heading. We also heard complaints that some of our would-be contributors were unable to inject their more voluminous works on Hygiene and Comparative Psych into our box; so we delegated Mr. M. to widen the aperture and thus give them every possible encouragement. The result of these effusions when read before the Board, was, as you may well imagine, simply disastrous. The ladies swooned away repeatedly, Mr. F. had to be led out into the open air five separate and distinct times, and Mr. L. said he thanked Heaven that he had been a member of Hesperia for two years, that, had strengthened his nerves. Upon one occasion when a particularly heartrending, inveterate pun was read, the old upholstered armchair, our silent but dignified comparison, collapsed with a groan; its unhappy ruins are now religiously guarded by W. M. S., and shown to visitors as an inducement to contemplation on the serious and dangerous character of puns. Having thus permitted you some glimpse into our workshop, we hand to you, dear reader, the result of our labors, the book whose sole purpose is to please you, and whose numerous shortcomings we commend to your kind indulgence. The H. ppv Thirteen.

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