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Page 17 text:
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THE UNIVERSITY BADGER. X -0 --- A--- o tre tea ter.-X -- HE BADGER that is now on exhibition is the fifth of his I kind ever captured on this terrestrial sphere, and the third one ta'ken since the real name of the animal has been known. He was captured while quite young, and being im- mediately brought into contact with human culture he was soon tamed. In the summer he roamed in the green pastures and chestnut groves, and under the guidance of Miss B'oden- -stein partook of feasts of love, but when autumn came on he was deserted by this love-sick maiden, and being brought face to face with the stern realities of life, he burrowed into a straw- stack of literature and soon dozed off for the long winter sleep. But the seasqn was too mild; the hot rays of the sun disturbed his repose, and he soon came forth into the light of day. Hotr -after hour during the warm winter days he would sit at the mouth of his hole, bewildered and gloomy on account of his disturbed rest. The flies tormented the little beast, but W. F. Dockery'for a while relieved his misery by brushing them off. But the vast amount of work, which the faculty tyranic- ally forced upon Dockery, compelled him to abandon the task. But soon another personage appeared in order to minister to the wants of our BADGER. 'Then everything was all O.' K. In a short time a strong friendship grew up between this per- Don and tne DAIViJSK. Dut as tne iittie animUiai nau a vIvIU nagination, and was in the habit of exposing the Scenes hat hang on memories' walls, - Oakey soon discovered that ie moral nature of his.charge was such as to be incompatible ship between them was severed. For a long time th'e BADGER hung his head in gloomy med- itation, but finally, as he took a last look at the retreating form of Qakey, he kicked up his hind legs, flaunted his tail in the air, and bade defiance to his discouragers. From this time forth the BADGER continually fattened, and filled with new energy and animation he brushed off his own flies, and took great pride in his personal appearance. And now, on the approach of spring, he deserts his burrow, and appears before you with toilet prepared. He has licked down the pompadour hair on the sides of his body and curled it around the bumps of humor known as the hip-bones. The hair on his tail stands out bushy and coarse like the hair on a senior's face. His eyes are bright and sparkling. His teeth are finely polished but he never bites, for his heart is tender and sympathetic. It was said of Robert Burns that he was like an IEolian Harp, strung to every wind of heaven. Our BADGER too is a harp sensitive alike to the harmonious strains of the fog-horn voice of Col. Cole and to the discordant yells of the gentleman from Calumet. Every tone (except D. K.) in the college world finds some string in this harp that vibrates in sympathy with it. We introduce the BADGER to all our friends, and we know' that he will be heartily welcomed, especially by those whom he has condescended to recognize. The BADGER now has the floor. 'Unswathed, at length,JI stand at ease before ye, List then, O List, while I unfold my story. BLACK HAWK'S CAVE, March 28, 1890. '91 7 -,41, I-- .- 1-1- -4-1--l --A 4-L- I-A -C C-:--A - VL1--v113 S'llEl CLll1Ed1-x+11t.U -,
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Page 18 text:
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