University of Virginia Law School - Barrister Yearbook (Charlottesville, VA)

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i194 ER RA CLASS. OFFICERS SOMEWHAT IN RETROSPECT Take a memo, Miss Potts. Playboy has just written me that not only are they going to publish my “Memoirs of a Law School Bacchus,” but also they are going to do an accompanying picture coverage; thus, some things must be remedied at the Law School before they arrive. First of all, I couldn’t stand my literary accomplishment being eternally linked to mural hall. Since it is the first clear impression that anyone receives in the Law School, something must be done to disguise it—at least. I have it: order a bunch of potted palms and ferns. We can scatter them around and pass the eyesore off as a greenhouse. | And then that portrait of Lord Mansfield in East Hall will have to go. It gives first | year students and visitors alike a completely erroneous idea of the true legal mind. Per- | haps I can locate a suitable picture of Belli counting his contingent fees to replace it. Speaking of East Hall, I think it might be a good idea to install some of those three- view mirrors so the photographers could catch Dillard’s act both fore and aft. Probably | ought to send some mosquito netting and an indulgent censor over to Gregory; he can | cover himself and be covered while he lectures. It would be awful to have the FDA’s attention called to him for contaminating students with insect sprays or entertaining them with “Gregoryisms.” I hope the clicking shutters or public attention don’t make Spies lose his control or timing so that his athletic leap misses the stage. And do you suppose the cameras will catch Woltz’s sphinx-like smile? Well, that can be pointed out to them later. In case Playboy arrives before the first year grades are posted (any time before April), we'd better install a tranquillizer dispenser with those other delightful machines in roach alley. Which reminds me, I wonder if there is any likelihood that they’Il want to look at that little corner conference room used exclusively by the women students, ef al. They use it so often that I’m sure there must be more in there than the sign on the door would indicate. No, Miss Potts, I don’t think that they'll want to go in there to look for a Playgirl. Hmm, I guess the precocious young teachers should be told to dress in their URE arey Deg EL ES SL EF a instructional best so that they won’t be mistaken for students. And perhaps we could order them some statistical information or mathematical devices on plotting a curve. It’s not really true that all good things sink to the bottom. As for the second year, I guess the only real danger is that the photographers will stray into a class and miss the whole point of that phase of legal education. They will have to be directed away from boredom and out to Mad Bowl, the scene of the keg contests, or to the Cavalier, the scene of the keg, or to the ABC stores, the scene, to get the real essence of a settled and comprehending law students. But if they insist on attending at least one second year class, maybe we would get good ol’ Charlie McDowell back for the occasion. Big Daddy could do one of his rustics for them—oh, them hot pies! Let’s see, they'll have to take some shots of a libel show. And some candids of the panic crew or raw nerves trying out for the Law Review. Also, all those other activities which we drifted into our second year to avoid studies and to find drinking companions should be noted—particularly the multitude of ever-so-useful student committees—whatever the hell they did. For the third part of my memoirs they'll have to cover the tedious trail of some poor graduate-hopeful trying to find the job. I hope that it will also be noted that the fully mature young lawyer no longer drinks for his recreation: it is now a way of life. Portraits can be made of those who have achieved law school honors because E. they, in a few years are certain to be the most trusted hirelings of the graduates from b the bottom 20% who have money and influence. Sic transit . . . sic, Sic, sic. Well, Miss Potts, the group I went through law school with might not have covered themselves with academic glory, but I think I can truthfully say that many of their real glorious pinnacles were either overlooked or ignored on the Dean’s records. And the yeats 1957-1960—no, they weren’t exactly GOOD years, but they were Quite enough. ve = . os See ees ee 43

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