University of Utah School of Medicine - Medicine Man Yearbook (Salt Lake City, UT)

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4' Physical Examinuiionz T. ftotalj, 4931.10 P. ftotall, 4220 R. ftotalj, 800 BP. ftotalj, 6Z76f4l38. The patients were 50 WDXWN, poorly developed, poorly nourished males and females in apparent chronic distress. Pupils were R.R.E. and R. to L. and A. except for one case which did not R. to L., but did to A. Positive physical findings on admission included: Z inguinal hernias, 3 peptic ulcers, 2 cases of alopecia presenilis, 1 perforated tympanic mem- brane, 50 cases of obsessive-compulsive neurosis with paranoid ideation and obvious ideas of reference, Z manic-depressives, 4 psychopathic per- sonalities, several questionable cases of idiopathic familial absence of frontal lobes, 3 with clinical evidence of Frohlich's syndrome, Z with severe hypochondriasis, and Z exhibiting obvious precocious puberty. Clinical Course: Because of the history, physical findings and extreme apprehension on the part of the patients, shock therapy was administered early in the first year in the form of hazing by the sophomore class, exposure to 7647 Hashimoto-hours of total-body dissection, a continous infusion of Brizf zee's effluent, repeated injections of Dougherty's diarrheic dissertations and long-acting Davenport, all of which were without demonstrable effect. Consultation was held with the Biochemistry department who felt that the patients should be kept in a saturated atmosphere of utter confusion. This was attended by a marked hyperfallergic reaction which was re- fractory to treatment except for transient relief occasionally afforded by ethanolic imbibition. A course of lunchfhour physical therapy was so successful that it was chosen to replace the regularly-scheduled afternoon laboratory procedures. The patients were benefited to the extent that they were victorious in the annual athletic grudge match depicted on these pages. However, this remission was shortflived and by the end of the first year the patients had begun the progressive downhill course which was to characterize the succeeding three years. The beginning of the second year was characterized by increasing spasticity, delusions of persecution, mental deterioration, nausea, vomit- ing, diarrhea, Bacteriology, Pathology and Pharmacology. Due to the ineffectiveness of the previous medication, a new course of action was taken. Massive doses of Goodman were give orally over a four-hour period each day. This therapy was associated with sidefeffects of somnolence i F' 'N 1

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and embarrasment of circulation to the gluteal area, and so was con- tinued. In addition, the patients were taken to the pharmacology lab- oratories for several hours daily, where they were used to study certain pharmacologic reactions, such as the reaction of medical students to rat bites, cat scratches, third-degree burns of the forehead, 10,000 volts from a shocking machine, and chicken dung. Gunn's mixture was supplied for sedation when necessary, and its soporiflc effect was augmented by stuffing the patients into a hot, dark room and placing poorlyffocused pictures of pathological specimens be- fore them. Since the above regimen left the patients with nothing to do for three out of every twenty-four hours, they were subjected to extensive bacteriological study, and the cultures thus obtained consistently grew out pure colonies of alphafhemolytic Staphylococcus contaminata. Be- cause of this, a suspension of GebhardtfMarcus reagent was poured into the left ear of each patient and permitted to flow out the right ear, care being taken that none was retained or absorbed. Toward the end of the second year, the patients were frequently observed milling about the hospital attired in neck ties and white coats, thinking they were doctors. The hospital staff deemed it advisable to permit these delusions to continue-hence, the patients were allowed the privilege of wearing stethescopes and rectal gloves with license to auscultate, percuss and digit-alize at will. At the beginning of the third year, the patients were transferred to the Salt Lake County General Hospital where they were moved around from service to service, earning their keep by doing blood counts, rhu- barb titers, fecal geranium levels and other vital laboratory work. While on the medical service the patients were attended by Drs. Wintrobe, Cartwright, Hecht, Tyler, lager, Waldo, and by members of the junior staff. Their stay on this service was dotted with many un- forgetable highlights. Cn rounds, a fortunate member of the group would occasionally be given the opportunity of impressing a member of the senior staff with the extent of his medical knowledge. The staff man was often so impressed that he would find it difficult to control himself. Treatment while on the surgical service was directed by Drs. Price, Moretz and Shaffer along with the residents and interns. Day after day our heroes were taken to an arena called the O.R. where they en- gaged in a competitive sport known as a scrub In this game, a patient, first rendered unconscious by allowing him to breathe no more then 576 Ai