University of Toronto Schools - Twig Yearbook (Toronto, Ontario Canada)

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THE An Englishman was stoutly maintaining that his countrymen are not as cold and un- friendly as others make them out to be. Why , he said, I remember when I was on the crew at Oxford I knew all the other chaps quite well, that is, all but one, but he sat away up in the bow. Davies: I don't know what you want a horse for, but I think I can get you one that will answer. Campbell: Oh, that doesn't matter. l won't be asking it any questions anyway. MacMillan: Why do you suppose that fellow's running back and forth in front of the polling-booth? Funston: Oh, he's just exercising his franchise. Two little urchins were watching a barber singe his customer's hair, Gee , said one, he's hunting 'em with a light. Radio should follow the example of the sea. There are still too many wind-jammers on the air. V '-5: ,l I zpfl 5 If - 5 f i 5 1 fm' 1 , . Q si V ' i f .g . ll? 'll I, T 9 . v I' l ' . T X F ET '..-THQ I ' 4 I 5? X at s l iii 'D ' if . ' N .maui Are You One of Those 'GL Men Vue been hear-mi abol-IT? p T W I G I .-1 K y A ',.:?uC1m:.hY.x'-N X llv '7n4Wini X H33 I X X ff I 71 515 ., gf 2197 ll' ff T ' .li ar '?'W':'?v , , ffgiz-,f UNCHRONICLIID WAR NEWS-THE ETHIOPYAN WHO STUBBED HIS TOE. Then there is the lad who, when charged in juvenile Court with stealing a number of false-faces, stole them because he wanted to become a plastic surgeon. I had to prac- tise lifting faces somehow he is reported to have said. Cinderella: ucodmother, must I leave the ball at twelve? Good Fairy: You'll not go at all, if you don't stop swearing. She: What have you got in those bags? He: My knees. Stranger: Can you tell me how to get to U.T.S.? Segsworth: I don't exactly know my- self, I've only been there two years. You know, Gordie, you've been there seven years. Welch: lVIe? l've forgotten long ago. lVlcElheran: 'Tm raising a beard, what colour do you think it'll be? Emerson: Gray, at the rate its growing.

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THE TWIG fi '15 L:- , E.ditor's note-No nasty remarks about the jokes in this column: you may be old and feeble some day yourself. This column is a great work that's not to be laughed at. Well do l remember that day in old Madrid. l sallied forth for my first meal alone, and entering a restaurant l spent five futile minutes trying to order steak and mushrooms from the stupid waiter who obviously didn't know how to speak his own language. Finally, l grabbed a pencil and a piece of paper and drew a realistic picture of a cow and half a dozen toadstools. ln ten minutes the obliging waiter was back with-guess what-six umbrellas and a ticket to the bull-fight, Ethiopia should make Joe Louis a dip- lomat. l-le could handle the Italians with gloves. Dale calls his girl grapefruit because every time he squeezes her she hits him in the eye. lf' Q f m 5 fr - H Y - ML... P. l 6' ,---' A ,P l ?4l ' .I Q 1 X ' 5 if ' c -b ,,. -ri- ' ?q'7' 51,27 ?7?4'4x,j7! W fifffff if , l X Not so hot! He misses him every time. - -'-1 Shafgro i Visitor: 'iThe country hereabouts is pretty level, isn't it? Farmer: Well, there's a few politicians we're suspicious of, but we ain't got no actual proof. Sir , wrote the indignant mother to the schoolmaster, uyou mustn't whack my Tommy. l-le isn't used to it. At home we never hit him except in self-defense. A Scottish preacher, caught in a rain- storm, entered the vestry dripping wet. As the time drew near for the service to begin, he kept saying, Oh, l wish l were dry! D'ye think l'm dry? D'ye think l'm dry eneuch noo? Don't worry was the re- ply, Ye'll be dry eneuch when you get in the pu'pit. Mr. Workman: What's all that noise back there? Geometry Stude: Oh, l just dropped a perpendicular, sir. I-le: The boss offered me a partnership in the firm to-day. She: Noi He: UYes, he said if l didn't take an interest in the firm, he'd can me. Waiter: Will you have pie, sir? Mr. Gill: ls it customary? Waiter: No, its apple.

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THE TWIG POET'S CORNER Jack and jill There was a young lady of Leeds, sped up a hill' Who swallowed a package of seeds, A CUTVC UP there Was Sharp, in a month, silly lass, The car upset, She was covered with grass, Jaclgs rolling yet' And couldn't sit down for the weeds. - - - Jill S playing on a harp, We mortals have to swat and Shoo The flies, from dawn to dark, 'Cause Noah didn't Swat the two That roosted in the ark. There was a young girl with a beret, Who was most exceedingly meret, EVERYTHING IN But she drowned. they Say ATHLETIC SUPPLIES I In the bay one day, IN CANADA'S FINEST Whlle trying to cross on a feret. SPORTING GOODS STORE Quality Merchandise at Reasonable Prices X Special Discounts to U.T.S. Students X xo ?2iii'i5j6a 09 6-6 ' F 1 n 1 . S G MMEQ I Y :,..:fR:z:?'a5Lf,.:1':e1,. a.::s'..:hz.?.'::.':Sf .5 HOCKEY, SKIING, BADMINTON, 5 -F I BASKET BALL I A HARRY B. KENNEDY I , LIMITED Raim- 4 K , I HARRY KENNEDY ,lime barge QQ 5' J Qgf. f X AD. 9095 IOPEN NIGHTS e,,.5+e,,.,..f 'fghmas 113 KING ST. WEST gi--,f GORE, NASMITH and STORRIE CONSULTING ENGINEERS GEORGE G. NASMITH WILLIAM STORRIE NORMAN G. MCDONALD JAMES F. MacLAREN SEVSATGEE Dvfscialf-EL 1130 BAY STREET DESIGiT5pi1'Z?6?EfE?i?TI3N MUNICIPAL AND REPORTS. VALUATIO S INDUSTRIAL ENGINEERING ARBITRATIONS 160