University of Toronto Schools - Twig Yearbook (Toronto, Ontario Canada)

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THE TWIG We like the easier, conversational method of learning Geography, as pre- sented in a recent journal: Waitress: Hawaii, Gentlemen. You must be Hungary. First Customer: Yes, Siam, and we can't Rumania long, either. Venice lunch ready? Waitress: I'll Russia to a table. What will you Havana? Second Customer: Anything at all, but can't Jamaica little speed? Waitress: ul don't think we can Fiji that fast, but Alaska. First Customer: Never mind asking any- one. Just put a Cuba sugar in our java. Waitress: Sweden it yourself. l'm only here to Serviaf' Second Customer: Denmark our bill and call the Bosphorus. l-le'll probably Kenya. I don't Bolivia know who l am. Waitress: No, and l don't Carribean. You fellows sure Armenia. Boss: Samoa your wisecracks, is it? What's got india? You think maybe this arguing Alps business? Both Customers: Canada noise. Spain in de neck. We Moscow now. 07 21, -3 'iii A -K so Movmg Van Sin.-sbuv-Y zum! im ,.m Lost.-7 swims-Poor reward for our hard work in P. T. ln Algebra said Prof. Lougheed, a+b doesn't equal c. In other words, he con- tinued, oranges and lemons don't make grapefruit salad. fi 1' -Ji is was -T Ei ,T W ' If ' SP0 Rf, ,f .f 1 T Q, HoNouP.s ,.f f v G. LEWIS Mr. Irwin: Now, jones, name three fruits grown in England. Jones Cafter thinking cleeplyl: Melons, Cabbages, Bananas. Folks, said the coloured Minister, the subject of my sermon dis evenin' am 'Liars.' l-low many in de congregation has done read the 69th Chapter of Matthew? Nearly every hand in the audience was raised immediately. Dat's right, said His Reverence. You is just cle folks l want to preach to. Dere is no 69th Chapter of Matthew! -4 De chicken am a useful beast, The little Darkie said. You can eat him 'fore he comes alive, Or after he am dead! A silly young fisher named Fisher, Once fished from the edge of a fissure: A fish with a grin, Pulled the fisherman ing Now they're fishing the fissure for Fisher. 98

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T H E T W I G N We can't forget our good Prefect, I A worthy man is he- ' ' 4 Assisting, when he's needed most, ' 1 l To run the great IB. i , 'f xx- wr. i' We must not leave our Artists out: slllll 2: 9 N. I Although they be but few, f1,'12,, T 'E :' f They are much famed and far renown'd WH' I R A 4 For drawings that they do. 1 Q A 2 Luumey I Form Captain: R. Priestman Prefect: V. Sainsbury Athletic Representative: K. Rotenberg. Form Reporter: Lyons Bob Priestman, our red-headed form cap- tain, has shown no signs of losing his temper yet. l-le has proven that under the velvet glove there is an iron-hand. He has a will that cannot be deterred and, when he says something is to be done, it must be done- no answering back. Van Sainsbury, our prefect, has not had much chance to show his prowess at pre- fectingn but he fits the job perfectly. I-Ii-s snapping right hand comes into action as soon as something unpleasant happens. Van is a great sportsman, ready for all types of athletic activity. Ken Rotenberg, the able sports-represen- tative of IB, is somewhat of a scholar as well as a versatile sportsman. He is full of fun, and ready to be of use to everyone. Ken is an all-round man about town and l wouldn't be surprised if We were to hear a lot of Kenneth Rotenberg in the future. Oh, IB is a mighty Form, Containing many boys With swift and shrewd and sharpest wit, And, perchance, much of noise. We have a captain in our form, Who leads us in the strife Of Latin, French and Algebra, And all of our school life. So now you see why we do say, That IB leads the school ln honours, sports, and everything, According to the rule. Vvhat would happen? ? Q ? ? 3 If jones answered every question right If Boehme had a solemn face If I-larry didn't stand first If Sainsbury clidn't win something at Field Day If l-lowson lost a few pounds If lVlr. lrwin didn't warn us of tests lf Dobson knew his Latin If lVlr. Daniher didn't tell us about his ancestors If Aykroyd didn't have his feet out in the aisle If Clark didn't engage in some argument or other If Lamb grew a few inches If Steel got his arithmetic right If Gladney didn't know his history . . . JUST WHAT WOULD HAPPEN? Anderson fto Steellz What would you do if you had 55.00 in your pocket now? Steel: l'd look closely to see whether I had my own pants on. Traffic Cop: Now, Miss, what gear were you in at the time of the accident? Quiet Miss: Oh, l had on a black beret, tan shoes and a tweed sports dress.

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THE TWIG 'nr p in as ,w, 1, 50cCeSS Q. Q!!! , .2 I C Succcss Form Captain: F. Stinson Prefect: W. Berkenshaw Athletic Representative: H. Rotenberg. Form Reporter: E., C. Daniher We have a great range of age in our form-ten to Hfteen years. Brown made a spectacular showing on Field Day, breaking three records. Stinson, Lorimer and Factor also showed up amongst the leaders. We succeeded in carrying off the Cross Country Run trophy for the Junior School. We wonder when it is going to be put on that west wall. Mr. Stewart was conducting a French les- son for the benefitf?J of about two hun- dred student teachers. Mr. Stewart: How do you sound a nasal 'a'? . QNO responsej Well, you let some of the nose come through your air, don't you? Mr. Cochrane: Did you take a shower, Alan? Alan: No, sir, is one missing? lVIr. Daniher fputting History Notes on blackboard, re explorations of Columbia Riverl. Lewis and Clarke-Col. R. Rotenberg: I remember Lewis and Clarke, sir, but I forget the colonel's name. Hints for Student Teachers Zero, is not pronounced Tsero. Horizontal, is not pronounced Horstontal. Column, is not pronounced Colyum. Nouns have not male or female sex. O.C.E.. Student fpassing football field where boys were playing in a downpourj: There are the young lads I am to teach on Monday. Other Student: Oh the poor things. Stinson: This fish isn't as good as the piece I had last Friday. Miss Seldon: It ought to be, it's off th-3 same Hshf' Father: What do you expect to be when you finish U.T.S.? Small son: An old man, pa. Urgently Needed New pen .................................... Rotenberg Few extra desks .... ......... S tinson Alarm clock ............ ........ L loyd Electric hair curlers .. . Brown New teacher ........... Daniher Loud speaker .... ...... P eck Reducer ........,.................. .. Gross Governess .......................... .. Allan A bit more self-confidence ....... Bain Another bottle of brilliantine ............ Bean Counting beads on wire ....... Fletcher About three dozen silencers . Uv: We FIN: Q ,Si r v 'L D