University of Toronto Schools - Twig Yearbook (Toronto, Ontario Canada)

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THE TWIG KJ ff Jffflfr. ORAL -gompl 7' POLLOCYR DOESN'T QUITE Acne: wnn 'ma svemaea. OVER THE CAFETERIA SOUP-BOWLS l-lorsey: My name is William, but my friends call me 'Bill'. Flanagan: UDO you want me to call you iBill'? l-lorsey: UNO thanks, l have an alarm clock. -This is submitted as a joke by Barnes. Major Bramhtt: 'iwhatl you left your books at home again? Wliat would you think of a soldier who went to war without a gun? Pupil: ul would think he was an officer, sir! flVlean crack No. IJ l-loclgins: What do you do with your clothes when you wear them out? Neilson: Wear them back, of course. fhlokej Bland: Who came after Queen Eliza- beth? Cole: Phillip of Spain, but she turned him clown. fYou'll get this later on., Neilson treading from Chemistry llflan- uall: Surface should be rubbecl clown thoroughly with steel wool.' l-l'mm. Oh, Phillips, what is steel wool? Phillips Cinnocentlyl: l'm not sure, but l think it's the fleece from a hydraulic ram! fLaugh now.J it Oh pity poor young Bill Oke, flhough we fear he is no morel His sole-supporting braces broke ln a fast revolving door! The minister came to the farm ancl stayed to dinner. ln his honour, the farmer killed a rooster. The mother of the brood, however, took her loss bravely and said 'l'm glad he went into the ministry: he cer- tainly would never have macle a layman! lVlr. Croal fin Chemistrylz ul 'have here a 4.4 solution of alcohol. lVlr. Newell fin Literature, : Here lies the port. Mr. Petrie fin Algebral: 'il..et's try the next case. -Contributed by G. l. Smella Rat. Q. 't,C-we-fkprezzb -'Q -H 2 ,A 'X 0 J . :- '- WXY5-as 'fy Q X 2 l..1 ,..1 Q-i 741- Jf' ,,,. , M nlu- Mix- F5 A-' ?' iff k fn

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THE T WIC ln about x years, according to our sci- entist, men will speak entirely in poetry, like this: Mrs. Back-Seat Driver- Should auld acquaintance be forgot, And never brought to mind, You knocked down Cousin Henry, dear, Some fifty yards behind! At the rugby game- But hark! the cry is Astur And lol the ranks divide: Though Muller got a touchdown, lt's for the other side. Pollock: Remember that five-dollar bill you promised me if l passed, dad? Father: Yes. Pollock: Well, l think l'll be able to save you the money. Yes, said Mr. Mills to lllA one balmy spring afternoon, lt isn't the heat, it's the stupidity. A Modern Version of Julius Caesar fCopyright I936, Talmadge E. l-lunt, IIIAJ Scene-The Forum. Enter Caesar and Mob, composed ol' the Chain Gang. Caesar-Let us go .... And do such deeds as will This town paint red. Enter C--Men of the conspiracy. Cinna-Oh, Caesar .... Caesar-Scram! .... Casca-Give 'im do woiks, boys! fRa-ta-ta-tat of machine-guns as Trebonius fires a round.J Caesar-Dey got me, Butch fdiesl. Enter Antony. Anthony-Friends, Romans, and country- people. Lend me your ears. lst Citizen-Say, what is that guy going to borrow next? Antony-Friends, l stand before you, not behind you. I come to bury Caesar, not to raspberry him. fExeunt in confusion., 79 Bennett-This is the illustrious artist of IIIA, known also as Bennett to Mussolini. Dales- Toughy plays tennis and wins scholarships. Deacon-Here is another artist, not a Church official. Greene-This impertinent youngster, a native of France, speaks French like Louis XlVf?l and Latin like a Holstein cow, Gundy-Our Athletic Representative is interested in rugby and girls. Klein-This is the man in IIIA who is al- ways giving masters the slip. Our form captain plays rugby too. Neilson- The Man with the Iron Frame has a great future in the circus or in radio. Patrick-We take this opportunity ol welcoming into our midst Sydney Patrick, late of Runnymede. He is not related to the lrish snake-charmer of the same name. Rice-Our perfect Prefect, also an athlete, is addicted to the hideous art of punning. e.g. The garbage man is happy as can be. There are also names such as Boxer, Cole, Livingston, Rhind, and Pyper, which are self-explanatory. BUGLER GREEN

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THE TWIG THE NEWS a-3 C... Form Captain: John C. Jarvis Prefect: C, W. E.. Webb fW Athletic Representative: A. Welch Y: 1, , X 7 N 10' RUGBY Three of the school's rugby teams are represented in our form of grid-ironers. The I40 pound team is honoured by such class-notables as, Cyrus Webb, Hugh Young, Leonard Andrews and John Jarvis. On the I20 pound group we have, Mc- Michael, Bill Young, Bob Cameron and Stuart Strathy. And our famed first team has bestowed the title of ugarcon de l'eau on Leonard Andrews. So in all, we are not lagging in this sport. ls: 'b f 'T of K -DL. Form Reporter: D. Clarke FIELD DAY AND THE CROSS COUNTRY RUN I'm sorry to say that we fell decidedly below the traditional standard set by IIIB in previous years, in both Field Day and The Cross Country Run. A few more venturesome lads dared to enter in the Held events, namely, Welch and Dickinson. Likewise did Gandier and Brown in the Cross Country. V x. ig '? a X , .r X 9 ' fi if ,I dll! ' 1 'Mn' at A fs va' BOXING, WRESTLING AND FENCING Others are pursuing the manly sports, if they may be called so, Bauckham taking fencing, Webb wrestling, and Reynolds and Duncan boxing. From now on we will have to be on our guard when in the presence of these gentle- men.