University of Toronto Schools - Twig Yearbook (Toronto, Ontario Canada)

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THE TWIC country will most regretfully be cut short. Brown.-That's too bad. Excuse me gentlemen, but I must go out and attend to some signals. fThrows on his raincoat, picks up a lantern and goes outg from where we are we can see that he does not go very far, but remains just outside the door, out of the line of vision of the other two.j Thomp.-Now, you fool, you keep your big mouth shut and let me do all the spiei- ing, or you'll queer this job yet. You may be a first-class safe-blower, but you drive the English language like a ten-ton truck, and in the wrong direc- tion too. fHere Brown disappears for a moment or two, then comes back againj Sull.-Well gosh Chief, suppose you turn on your Rolls-Royce technique and tell me what this crazy stunt's about. Seems like the dumbest trick anybody could pull, goin' right back into the middle of all the fuss like this- I tell you, I'm only stickin' with you on account of you're generally there with the little gray cells like this bird Parrott QPoirotj in the detective stories. Thomp.-You idiot, you'd be a better hand at this game if you'd act like some of the guys in those stories you like so much. Can't you see that the safest place we can be is right back in Toronto? The dicks there think we've cleared out so nobody will dream of suspecting us. Besides we'll have been seen by dozens of people leaving the station and going over to the hotel like a couple of ordinary business men. In fact I've got it arranged so somebody will see us in case the public is as un-W observant as usual. QHere Brown be- gins to make sounds indicative of a re-entrv in the near futurej Sull.-Well, I dunno: it still seems to me- Thomp.-Shut up !-Yes, there is no doubt that methods of railway operation em- ployed on this continent are vastly different from those in force in Eng- land and Europe. Qenter Brownj Ah, Mr. Brown, we have just been dis- cussing some of the-er-shall we say technique of your calling. I've no doubt that it is, in some ways, a most arduous one. Qslight pausej That's strange Mr. Brown. Has the rain stopped? Brown.-No. Why? Thomp- Cslowlyj.-Your raincoat, Mr. Brown, is perfectly dry. Yet you were outside for several minutes. Rather strange, isn't it? Brown. Cnervouslyj.-Oh, the platform is covered, you know. It's quite dry out there. Thomp.-Then why did you put on your raincoat? fHis hand is in his coat pocket, and there is a suspicious bulge there.j Mr. Brown, you are obviously a man of high intelligence, but of little tact, and I would suggest, in the language of that community in which I have recently claimed citizenship, that you stick 'em up and do it fast! fAt the end of this sentence his voice has lost some of its cultured quality, and has an intonation which suggests that Mr. Brown would be well-advised to comply with his request, Mr. Brown does so.j Thomp. Cto Sullivanj.-Frisk him. CSuI- livan does so, Ending nothing danger- ous.j You may sit down, Brown, and lower your hands, but you will place them on your knees and keep them there. Sullivan, you will go out, find a good strong rope somewhere and come back as quickly as possible- But don't come back without one. Cexit Sullivanj. Now, Mr. Brown, since some little time must necessarily elapse before we shall be able to take our leave of you, per- haps vou will be good enough to tell me what we have done to arouse your suspicions. Something must have 59

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T H E T W I G Thomp. l cw ether, A Buick sedan. Brown--Yes, there's no doubt of it. I re- Sull. f g '- A Chev. coupe. member once-fHere the radio an- Brown fpuzzledb.-Pardon? Thomp.-Sullivan's quite right for once. it is a Chev. I had it confused with my last car. Sull. Qirrelevantlyj.-Gosh, Chief, you ought to read this magazine! Here's a swell story. I'm only at page twenty and there've been three murders and six robberies already! Thomp.-Sullivan, you disgust me. Brown.-Oh, I think you take it too seri- ously, sir! They're line for giving law-abiding people like us some excite- ment. Thomp.-I am not a believer in such vicarious experience. Oh, I wish that train would come! Brown.-Of course, sir, as a railway man it's hardly my place to suggest this. but if you are in such a hurry why don't you take a bus or a taxi? Thomp.-But there's no-I mean, is there a bus service here? Surely not at this time of night- Brown.-That is stupid of me sir. You're right of course. This night job seems to make me very dense sometimes. But there's still the taxi, sir. Thomp.-Well, as for that, Brown, I've no desire to ride a hundred miles in a leaky, uncomfortable old wreck such as they usually call a taxi in places like this. Brown.-I guess there's something in that too, sir. QHe goes to small radio in corner and turns it on.j Can't get anything but a lot of noisy jazz at this time, I suppose, but it may cut out the sound of that rain. It's making me sleepy. fDance music is heardj Great invention, radio. It's almost as good as detective stories for bringing excitement to small places like this, sir! fThis remark addressed to Sul- livan.j Sull. fwithout looking upj.-Yeah. nouncer breaks in.j Announ.-Ladies and gentlemen, the Toronto Police Force asks all who hear this announcement, particularly those living in Western Ontario to be on the watch for two men who, several hours ago, made a substantial haul of jewelry and silverware from the home of one of our prominent citizens. They made a successful escape from the city, and are thought to be heading for the U.S. border. One of the men is said to be rather short, wearing a brown overcoat and gray fedora hat. The other is of medium height, wear- ing a gray overcoat and bowler hat. No further description is available. Thank you. QDance music fades in again. For reasons which should be obvious, the two travellers seem to be slightly ill at easej Brown.-Well, well, it's astonishing what some of these crooks get away with nowadays, isn't it? Thomp.-Oh, I suppose there have always been and always will be people like that. fHeartiIy, and in a more friendly tone than beforej I hope, Mr. Brown, that this is not a very typical example of the excellent climate which I have heard exists in this part of Canada? Brown.-No, no, of course it isn't. You should see something much better in a couple of days- Sull. Capparently just becoming con- scious.j-Oh, but that's no good. We won't be here in a couple of days. We- Thomp.-Shut up! fto Brownj Pardon the digression, but my friend sometimes becomes a little bit confused when he attempts to speak too much. What he undoubtedly meant to explain was this, after the transaction of our busi- ness in Montreal to-morrow, we are proceeding directly to New York. Therefore, our visit to your beautiful

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THE TWIG done so, or you would not have spied on us as you did, and I don't think that the radio can have been entirely to blame. Brown.-As a matter of fact, you are right. There are other reasons, but I don't quite see why I should reveal them to you. Thomp.-There are two excellent reasons. The first is this: in my profession it is not the custom for the successful operator to make mistakes. Apparently I have done so on this occasion, but I do not wish, on future jobs , to repeat my error, or errors. The second rea- son to which you will possibly attach more importance, is in my pocket. So get on with it! Brown.-I see your point. My first sug- gestion is this: get rid of your safe- blowing side-kick. Several times he started to say something which you choked off. Incidentally you ought to pay closer attention to his reading matter than you do. His magazine there on the bench is a week old- Look at the cover. Thomp. Qreadingj.- Printed in Canadaf, what a fool I am! Brown.-The rest of my clues really all point to the same fact. After some hesitation you agreed that you came from Chicago in a Chev. Now on this night job there isn't much to do but read and look out the window. For two hours before you arrived, only about five passenger cars passed. None of them were Chevs.. and none carried Illinois plates. Thomp.-To be put down under that popu- lar heading, Circumstances over which Control. Proceed, please. I Have no fAt this point a train, apparently a freight, rumbles past, and is heard grinding to a stop several hundred feet away.D Thomp. Cfumps up and runs to door, still however keeping Brown coveredy- Here, what's the meaning of that? I trust you have not been so unwise as to try anything, Mr. Brown? Brown--Nonsenseg there's not much help for me there, I'm afraid. They're just stopped for water at the tank out there. Thomp.-I hope for your sake that you are telling the truth. fRe-enter Sullivan, bringing rope.j Ah! I'm glad to see your efforts were crowned with suc- cess. In view of what our host here has told me, I've a good mind to fire you. Sull.-Huh? Thomp.-Never mind. You wouldn't un- derstand. Get busy and tie him up- well. By the way, is that train doing anything suspicious out there? Sull.-Naw, it's just getting some water. fFinishes tying Brownj Thomp.-Good. Well, Mr- Brown, get on with your story. Brown.-There is a company in this town which manufactures suitcases. It is a thoroughly Canadian company. My son works there, and I know all their lines pretty well. Your cases-very good ones too-were made by them. They are sold only in Canadian stores. Thomp.-Hereafter I shall pay closer attention to such details. Anything else? QTWO men, members of the freight train crew, as their attire indicates, and three policemen, a sergeant and two constables, appear in the doorway. The criminals are seated facing away from the door, and do not see themj Brown.-Well, I found out that you knew as rnuch as I do about the local bus lines. I think that's-no, there's one thing more. Your overcoat has been swinging open ever since you carne in. On the inside breast pocket appears the crest of a large Toronto store. Thomp--You are a very observant man, Mr. Brown. I fear I underestimated your abilities. ' 60