University of Toronto Schools - Twig Yearbook (Toronto, Ontario Canada)

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S 6 qt' '-1-41 'H ' :W it mv -J saga : QQ, 4 ' S' J PANTAMBITION I would like to have a pair of pants, that when I sat down in them without hitching them up, would not go baggy at the knees. A pair, even if never pressed, would appear as though ironed but an hour before. A pair that I could sit down in, hunch over my desk, pull my legs in underneath me, feel the cloth giving and straining at the knees, without being aware simultaneously that, on arising, the crease would have disappeared. A pair that would change in texture and cut magically and instant- aneously, to harmonize with any costume that I was forced to don in order to conform with the unbreakable laws of modern society. A pair that showed neither dust nor stain but absorbed both un- perturbed. A pair that fuzzy bits of nothings-at-all did not cling to like burrs, but would avoid with meticulous care that necessitated no further urging by a clothes brush. A pair that had no cuffs or had cuffs that did not in a miraculous manner collect multitudinous. microscopic dust particles and carefully secrete them in order that, at some future time they might form the object of my wife's lectures about cleanliness, tidiness and the like. A pair that would be held up around my waist with neither the ever present pressure of a belt or the shoulder irritation caused by chafing braces, but be suspended firmly without the necessity of buttons which have had, have, and will continue to have the embarassing faculty of coming loose when least desired. A pair that would neither swish along so low on my heels as to form foot rests for those following closely. nor would hang so high as not to conceal with some margin the undarnegl holes in the heels of my socks. Finally, a pair of pants, long, short, pressed or otherwise. XY. H. CR.-XNSTUN There was an old man named Macbeth, XYho put all his good friends to death. One day the woods walked And three witches balked And that was the end of Macbeth. Laskl 100

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L7 :Meri-9 nihiwl sl .Jr b 'S ' - 1' ZW ai ,A lg 'lQ'Q x XxH s ' U x , 1171 Q ,X Beware some boys within our portals, VVho to all eyes are gods, not mortalsg Do not with them e'er Come to grips, They'll Carry off your scholarships. Care to go on fancy flights? Tune in with XYithrow Tuesday nights, 'Cause if you're tired of things erotic, You'll soon with him life 2lCI'OIlZ1L1flC. Can't masters eat their soup in silence? Or must we hush their hiss with violence? For daily from a Certain room, 'Tis wafted like impending doom. TED SCYTHES . C any 1-,,... - . , , X 2452? Q L K , H X' I I s . H ' , , X s it E ' N Q .9 X X 'xi . 4' Q XS is NX C 55 I Q- n X S 5 A I 1 ' RX.:-K 5 1 ' S - il N' - ' ---' 5 u M 1 Y i T' i x fu 5 X X Q 1, ' 4 i 1i fsllff T333 VL- -5:-:V 4 ' The man bt-liinrl-Run faster! Hurried Hunter-I ca11'tl The man l'lc'lllllCl+Tl161'l step aside! 99

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5 6 .g -Q' -w 'E' , F My lj 9, fr J MURMURS FRUM MODERN HISTORY CRANSTON Qentering the roomjf - Is Sale here? MR. VANEVERY Clooking aroundjw-l'No Sale . MR. VANEYERY-f Now I want you to get these four codes in your heads. KERR Qsneezingjff- Huh, I've got a code id by doze already. W v i ' X ,lf Jw Q S V 7' ,M Q tx w g r 1 - gi :aff j-N S ' 1 r - 'lf .SW OX gig .I.'l 5' Il Afla l2'gEUla!l' . in ir --The Centurious having lost a part of their baggage returned to Caesar with considerable confusion, Cadets At-TEN-Shun My dear young boy , the Major said, I'm very very Sorry, But to the head you'll have to go And to him tell your story. To Doctor Althouse he did go VVith very downcast mien, But the Doctor said, That'5 serious boy, You'd better see the Dean. 101