University of Texas School of Law - Peregrinus Yearbook (Austin, TX)

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Bachelors of Law: The Honest Truth Scene: 606 Bar (3) Trinity 6th Street. BOL night. Zoom in to the singles in the corner (or 85% of the singles present). Their conversation goes something like this: Him: “So...” (Say something cool, c’mon man, impress her—Think!) “What’s your major?” (Swish.) Her: “Communications. (On three, hair toss.. .3,2,1. Now!) Him: (Sure, like you need a degree for that.) “Really? That’s very interesting.” (Like I give a damn. Sound smooth, educated! You don’t want to bore her.. .God, what legs! How’s my breath? Hell, I’m in law school and she knows it. Forget my breath.) Her: Are you okay?” (What’s that smell? Did I step in something?) Him: (I am so cool.) Hen “Hello?!? (God, please kill me now, there’s no where to run!) Can you hear me?” Him: Oh, uh..sure. I was merely trying to ponder exactly what your degree choice entailed. (Quick! Flash those pearly whites. Big smile! Oh, yeah.) Her: “Yeah, well it was nice talking to you. (Dork. I thought gold chains went out in the ’70s). ”1 think my ride is leaving, I don't want to be late.” Him: Late for what?” Her: “For whatever.” She departs. Him: (Must have been too much man for her. Her loss, she’ll be back!) “So, do you come here often?” And so it goes for the worst case scenario. Granted, the conversations aren't all that bad, but some do their best to get there. Men — if no woman has ever given you the “Heisman” at least once in your life, you should get out more. Still, you’re in law school now, you’ve struggled and you’ve worked hard. Now it’s time to play hard. To the tunc of fifty dollars a semester there’s a certain law school organization that might be able to help you find Ms. Right, or at the very least, Ms. RightNow. The Bachelors of Law is an unofficial law school organization with an infa- mous reputation. It can be legitimately said that they sponsor social gatherings for the purpose of meeting new people and fostering new relationships. It can also be legitimately said that I want to be in a hot tub with Julia Roberts, but let’s get freakin’ realistic! What sounds great in theory suffers in practice as anxious, fit-to-burst (Do you sense a theme here?) law students are herded into a pre-selected bar to “mix” with, and I quote from the fictitious flyer, “.. .a bevy of beautiful women, the finest UT sororities have to offer. In reality, many of the “women” present at these functions are not old enough to purchase their own liquor. (Query: Don’we have laws in this state about this sort of thing?) Like something out of a GAP commercial or a Darren Star series, participants walk and clump together in groups as fizzed heads bounce in unison whenever the conversation hits a verb. The atmosphere reminds one of some sort of hormonal job interview: resume, nice clothes, firm handshake, free flowing alcohol, glib speech, and elastic inhibitions. To be completely objective, however, one cannot fault the rationale behind BOL. Consider this: (1) You study law, talk law, hear law. UghO You want to gel away from people associated with the law school, naturally, so you join BOL to meet fresh faces who could care less about the “hairy hand.” (2) Many of the women in law school have boyfriends, are engaged, or are married. So you join BOL to meet pretty, single, uncomplicated women. There are probably more plausible reasons, but who cares? As with most things encountered in life, BOL is a phenomena that is good or bad depending on your perception. Rampant lasciviousness or socially conscientious visionaries — you be the judge. Either way, you have to give them credit. Honestly! With BOL, members win either way because not only docs your $50 contribution get you in the door and unlimited drinks (until the tab runs out), it also ensures the company of attractive women (at least for that party). So who cares if you strike out? For that night, that party, in your heart, you know you’re a winner. Scene: 606. Same night, same guy, different conversation. Hen “Excuse me? (Please be better than that last yutz!) Him: “I said, do you come here often? (You are mine. Oh, yes. You are mine.) Her: Once in awhile, how about yourself?” (Decent clothes. No ring. What is that smell?) Him: “I go where the action is, baby.” Hen “Really. (Please! Like you’re a regular Indiana Jones.) Him: “Yeah, I remember when I was a Navy Seal...” Hen (And I’m a natural blond.) “A what?” Him: You aren’t buying this, are you? Okay, I’ll be completely honest with you from here on out. Hen “Is that right?” (I could use another drink.) And thus the cycle continues on a near weekly basis as BOL members rendezvous with various sororities for the express purpose of..., er, social enlightenment. Founding their organization on the august principles of integrity, intimacy, and chivalry (not to mention alcohol), BOL arguably remains a law school tradition worthy of admiration. Himl: “Bartender! One screwdriver. (Sigh) Him2: “What happened? Why did she take off? Himl: “Aw.. .she caught me in a lie and the whole thing got kind of embarrassing. Him2: No kidding? That's too bad, guy” Himl: “Yeah. How the hell was I supposed to know she’d want to see the Batcave?” Well, almost worthy. 12 — Bachelors of I .aw

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I 25TH ANNUAL W. PAGE KEETON LAW WEEK Spring had come once again to the I.aw School — trees bloomed, birds sang, small fuzzy animals played in the breezeway and law professors were full of cheer... Well, not really, but I had you going there for a minute, didn’t I? Spring does, however, bring an annual event to the Law School that both students and faculty enjoy- Law Week. Law Week consists of seven days of unrestrained merriment, letting off steam after a long, dark winter. This year's Law Week was especially celebratory, since it marks 25 years of fun, sun and law students. The theme for this year was “The King of All Wild Things”, in honor of the fact that University of Texas law students are the rowdiest bunch around. Law Week began on Friday, Feb. 26 with the annual Casino Party and Jesse Dean Oliver Auction. The festivities were held at Carmelo’s, with an all-you-can-eat Italian buffet, beer, wine and gambling chips to be used at the various gaming tables. The auction followed, with prizes donated by law firms and professors, the proceeds going to a student emergency loan fund managed by the Student Bar Association. The rest of the week was kicked off on Monday with a pizza eating contest in the Tom Clark Lounge, followed by speeches in the afternoon. This year’s I .aw Week was dedicated to Professor David Sokolow and Admissions Director Rita Bohr. Judge William W:aync, Justice of the Eastern District of Texas also gave a speech on the life and legacy of former Supreme Court Justice Thurgood Marshall. Tuesday brought more fun with the Law Week Film Festival and intellectual games in the Tom Clark Lounge. Wednesday continued the merriment with Dean Keeton’s Bar-B-Que and Race Ipsa Loquilor. Wednesday also saw the first of four performances by Assault and Flattery of this year's show — The Wizard of Lawz. At the close of Law Week, the SBA j sponsored a donut eating contest on Thursday. The Race Judicata ended the week with a bang, with teams of law students and a few professors beginning I the 5K at the Law School and ending at Eastwoods Park with a keg of beer for the participants. The T.J. Gibson ■ Awards Ceremony was the last event of | the day, with awards honoring students I and faculty for excellence. I«' UrUmf 14 — Law Week