University of Texas School of Law - Peregrinus Yearbook (Austin, TX)

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Bachelors of Law: The Honest Truth Scene: 606 Bar (3) Trinity 6th Street. BOL night. Zoom in to the singles in the corner (or 85% of the singles present). Their conversation goes something like this: Him: “So...” (Say something cool, c’mon man, impress her—Think!) “What’s your major?” (Swish.) Her: “Communications. (On three, hair toss.. .3,2,1. Now!) Him: (Sure, like you need a degree for that.) “Really? That’s very interesting.” (Like I give a damn. Sound smooth, educated! You don’t want to bore her.. .God, what legs! How’s my breath? Hell, I’m in law school and she knows it. Forget my breath.) Her: Are you okay?” (What’s that smell? Did I step in something?) Him: (I am so cool.) Hen “Hello?!? (God, please kill me now, there’s no where to run!) Can you hear me?” Him: Oh, uh..sure. I was merely trying to ponder exactly what your degree choice entailed. (Quick! Flash those pearly whites. Big smile! Oh, yeah.) Her: “Yeah, well it was nice talking to you. (Dork. I thought gold chains went out in the ’70s). ”1 think my ride is leaving, I don't want to be late.” Him: Late for what?” Her: “For whatever.” She departs. Him: (Must have been too much man for her. Her loss, she’ll be back!) “So, do you come here often?” And so it goes for the worst case scenario. Granted, the conversations aren't all that bad, but some do their best to get there. Men — if no woman has ever given you the “Heisman” at least once in your life, you should get out more. Still, you’re in law school now, you’ve struggled and you’ve worked hard. Now it’s time to play hard. To the tunc of fifty dollars a semester there’s a certain law school organization that might be able to help you find Ms. Right, or at the very least, Ms. RightNow. The Bachelors of Law is an unofficial law school organization with an infa- mous reputation. It can be legitimately said that they sponsor social gatherings for the purpose of meeting new people and fostering new relationships. It can also be legitimately said that I want to be in a hot tub with Julia Roberts, but let’s get freakin’ realistic! What sounds great in theory suffers in practice as anxious, fit-to-burst (Do you sense a theme here?) law students are herded into a pre-selected bar to “mix” with, and I quote from the fictitious flyer, “.. .a bevy of beautiful women, the finest UT sororities have to offer. In reality, many of the “women” present at these functions are not old enough to purchase their own liquor. (Query: Don’we have laws in this state about this sort of thing?) Like something out of a GAP commercial or a Darren Star series, participants walk and clump together in groups as fizzed heads bounce in unison whenever the conversation hits a verb. The atmosphere reminds one of some sort of hormonal job interview: resume, nice clothes, firm handshake, free flowing alcohol, glib speech, and elastic inhibitions. To be completely objective, however, one cannot fault the rationale behind BOL. Consider this: (1) You study law, talk law, hear law. UghO You want to gel away from people associated with the law school, naturally, so you join BOL to meet fresh faces who could care less about the “hairy hand.” (2) Many of the women in law school have boyfriends, are engaged, or are married. So you join BOL to meet pretty, single, uncomplicated women. There are probably more plausible reasons, but who cares? As with most things encountered in life, BOL is a phenomena that is good or bad depending on your perception. Rampant lasciviousness or socially conscientious visionaries — you be the judge. Either way, you have to give them credit. Honestly! With BOL, members win either way because not only docs your $50 contribution get you in the door and unlimited drinks (until the tab runs out), it also ensures the company of attractive women (at least for that party). So who cares if you strike out? For that night, that party, in your heart, you know you’re a winner. Scene: 606. Same night, same guy, different conversation. Hen “Excuse me? (Please be better than that last yutz!) Him: “I said, do you come here often? (You are mine. Oh, yes. You are mine.) Her: Once in awhile, how about yourself?” (Decent clothes. No ring. What is that smell?) Him: “I go where the action is, baby.” Hen “Really. (Please! Like you’re a regular Indiana Jones.) Him: “Yeah, I remember when I was a Navy Seal...” Hen (And I’m a natural blond.) “A what?” Him: You aren’t buying this, are you? Okay, I’ll be completely honest with you from here on out. Hen “Is that right?” (I could use another drink.) And thus the cycle continues on a near weekly basis as BOL members rendezvous with various sororities for the express purpose of..., er, social enlightenment. Founding their organization on the august principles of integrity, intimacy, and chivalry (not to mention alcohol), BOL arguably remains a law school tradition worthy of admiration. Himl: “Bartender! One screwdriver. (Sigh) Him2: “What happened? Why did she take off? Himl: “Aw.. .she caught me in a lie and the whole thing got kind of embarrassing. Him2: No kidding? That's too bad, guy” Himl: “Yeah. How the hell was I supposed to know she’d want to see the Batcave?” Well, almost worthy. 12 — Bachelors of I .aw

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MOOT COURT TEAMS Ccocbrs: Gicg Ellis Sc Maiiannr bln ABA Moot Court Train Sponsored by Kayser Foundation awl Tort tc Compensation Subsection. l-il gallon Section of the Stale Bar of Ton Aeon I Debra Irwin Joy Thotnai Kevin Yankotrsky Regional Quarter! irulists Turn 2 Cindy Olson Hour land Turn Moynihan Jason Wakefield Coicbn: Gieg Ellis tc Laura Lpchurch Frederick Dougins Moot Court Tom Sponsored by Joe Jamall Julia Jackson Dawnila Wilson Tram 2 Sandra Carpenter Joy Tirana • Regional Flnaliut Miiha Buford Byron Purcell Coach: JrfT Sands Best Adsocatc at Regional Philip C. Jessup International Moot Court Tran Brun Allen Richard Bellcr • Jim Gibson Greg Naarden Jennifer Nugent • Cooch: Charles A. Spain Jr. • Beu Advocate John Marshall Moot Court Team Ginger GlaU Joy Thomas Kesin Yankowskv Alternate: Spencer Yu Octofinalists Conches: Greg Ellas Marianne Baker National Latino Law Students Association Moot Court Team Derek Adame Bill Stanford National Champions Coach: Marianne Baker National Moot Court Team Sponsored by (earn. Dougherty. Ilraroo A- Moody Cindy Ohon Bourland Deo : e Nance Jason Wakefield Regional Sctnilinalists Pace L'nisersaly Environmental Law Moot Court Team Sponsored by Falbright Jaworski Greg Hudson Greg Mathis John Newman Carr Coach: J.B. Ruhl Giles Sutherland Rich Intellectual Propeny Moot Court Team Sponsored by Motorola. Itsr. Charles Berk man Derek Carlisle Regional Scmiliruhsti Coach: Greg Hamilton State Bar Moot Court Team Summer 1993 Bob DcCarfi Vince Hiten • Debra Irwin Coach: MichaH Diehl • Second Best Advocate Robert F. Wagner. Sr. Labor Law Moot Court Team Sponsored by Matthews Jc Branscomb Ginger Glatr James Martinet Satan ne TetrlafT Coach: Lana Varney Products Liability Moot Court Tram Cindy Bullock Disk! Grossman Song Pak • Coach. Marianne Baker Sc Greg Hits • Second Best Advocate ADVOCACY TEAMS ABA Negotiation Tram Trass David Genericr George Roach Turn 2 John Fdmorals tc Dan Guess 5lh at Regional Coach: Ralph Hassuei Alternative Dispute Resolution Team Turn I Ron Rodrigue Mike Ortega r«n 2 Tandynn Woodard tc Michelle Washington Client Counseling Team Kathleen Bone A- Christine Bargees Regional Fmanhtu Moot Court — 11

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