University of Texas Austin - Cactus Yearbook (Austin, TX)

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Obomus Wa (Brc orv. TCTL ft., I SS5 Thomas Watt Gregory, by migrating from place to place, by practicing law efficiently and honorably, by attaining to very high office, has reflected credit uf on his native Mississippi and adopted Texas, upon the Southwestern Presbyterian University of Tennessee and the Universities of Virginia and of Texas. Of these. Texas is dearest to him. and in return. Texas delights to honor him. Under John B. Minor and Stephen O. Southall. John B. and “Old South. at the University of Virginia, under Oran M. Roberts and Robert S. Gould, “The old Alcalde and “Judge Gould, at the University of Texas he began to acquire the extensive knowledge of the law that he is now using in the service of his country in an office so high that it is a great impertinence to call him “Watt as was once the custom. It is rumored, however, that the old name still sounds good to him when pronounced by Texas voices, and that he still jumps several inches when addressed suddenly as Mr. Attorney General by the ambassador from Booribooligah at a big Washington receptoin. Watt Gregory is a many-sided man, a polygon, if not a paragon. He is. of course, a very fine lawyer and makes a very fine speech. He is one of the best of raconteurs and can relate little episodes most vividly and most laughably. He can tell a joke on someone else better than any man in Texas, but he can adsorb a joke told on himself very slowly if at all. He is very dangerous to tackle in a verbal sparring match jus many can testify from painful exj erience. To cap it all. he is a great hunter and a great fisherman and is nevertheless able to stick closely enough to the truth to be allowed to remain in the Presbyterian Church. His patron saint is Six Fingered Pete, and his favorite occupation before going to Washington was trying to get enough money out of Texas Exes to build a Gymnasium near Clark Field. He collected many thousands of dollars, but alas, not enough to start the Gym. A day or two after he had graduated and hung out his shingle in Austin he bagged his first client, a Chinaman who had gotten into a dispute with a Dago from whom he had purch:ised a watermelon. The Dago's fruit stand had been demolished, the watermelon has been exploded, the Chinaman's queue had been pulled, the ground had been wif ed up with each combatant, and many pidgin English cuss words had floated away on the breeze. The Chinaman rushed off to seek legal advice and accidentally met Gregory. Who best lawla in Lawstin. said he. I am.” said Gregory, unblushingly. ’ How I knowee?” said the Chinaman. You don't have to prove it when I admit it. said the logical Gregory. Employed to prosecute the Dago for assault. Gregory got five dollars from the Chinaman, but the D:igo was acquitted. Employed by the Chinaman to defend him when the Dago in turn prosecuted him for assault. Gregory got another five dollars from the Chinaman who was accidentally acquitted. The D:igo then brought a civil suit for damages against the Chinaman and Gregory got another five dollars from the unfortunate washee man. By extracting fees from this first client. Gregory exhibited such a tremen dous mastery of legal principles that nothing but the repeated success of the Republicans at the presidential elections could have prevented him from becoming Attorney General many years before the Bull Moose tidal wave actually landed him at the Democratic pie counter. Watt Gregory Is a good lawyer, and he occupiesa higher legal position than any Texas Ex: he is a good fellow, and he has a swarm of friends; he is a good man. and he is universally respected. For each and all of these causes the Students of the University of Texas are glad to dedicate to so worthy an alumnus this 11 15 CAC1 US which hears no thorns for him. T. U. Taylor, H. Y. Benedict.

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s M Da )e R Williams- EDITOR.-IN-CrtlEF • Chesley A Adams Charles E-Stewart bUSlHESS AANAGER. ASSISTANT BUSINESS N G (C- ASSOCIATE EDITORS OUR. fW'hw W'l V Lipscomb • THE UNIVERSITY Dan. Williams Raworth Will icuns, Asst ATHUEITICS Tom Popple.vje.lL Gink.' Hoi land,Esq. C CIO HORARY R:TFkminq° hilton Danieis » Bobv5immone» ° ° Al Powers • Gordon West Paulme Aurrah Hay Ferret ° Ba 11 a r d$ vnw iddie R 0 lo mes o rv AinaiAKnolsoa- Irwin lonqe Pendleton Howard College tear. iteHaiElmendorf- • Corinnt U WaHcffilr ' | .Geo-Whittington. • vrjvy Arthur Uhl , Asst sentiments CUASSE. ° Gillis Johnson-,Art. Jim CHcck. ° ° (IN ASSEtNTlPO Gw-TLcc ° Geo-Wythe 6 ° • o Crowley En UsH. p an Acer's assistants Carlton PVercdith © tUoy • E • HqwL ° Edqar V O'Hair © hnne.l chridge V atchman9Esq- ms The Janitor (t1 tau Vain. havc-ricfr. 'Forgive us» t we ef YOUOf f v e. sta f, 11 was an oversight. JiA. - Wv DA vS -a-WiLuiAr' -S 1S