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Page 32 text:
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get there — mid-morning, after dinner, lunch hour — it’s just you and a cou- ple of librarians. So how can it be that that volume of synopses you needed to pass your contemporary lit course has just been checked out? i MAIL Why is it that the guy in the box next to yours gets nothing but love letters and care packages while all you get are reminders from the business office that your tuition payment is past due, a summons to appear before the student judiciary for unpaid parking tickets, and a notice to see the dean about your math grade? Unfair! There should be some redress for intimidation by mail. MUSIC When it comes to music, you’ve got three choices: you can make music, appreciate music, or be driven nuts by it — but you can't ignore it. What used to be Tampa’s city auditorium has become UT’s center for music partici- pation. There you can sing, ramble a riff of old time jazz, or groove onto the latest rock sounds. If you're the high- brow type, you can do finger exercises with a chamber music ensemble or knock yourself out trying to get selected to perform with the Florida Gulf Coast Symphony. Of course, if . your fingers are stiff from too much note-taking, your lip is weak from too much kissing (or not enough) and your lungs have been wrecked by smoke inhalation in the Rathskeller, you'd probably rather just listen. If you don't v ant to listen, you’d better not go to McKay Auditorium, the University Union, the Rathskeller, or even to your room in the dorm — especially not to the dorm where all the variations in musical preferences meet to drown each other out. Your best hope is to go off into the park with a friendly squirrel who doesn't mind sharing his bough with you. But be sure to stuff acorns in your ears on holidays or else that dam- ned carillon will blast you right out of your tree. 28
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Page 31 text:
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that some of the animals who show up for the keg parties behind the cafeteria will ever even be human, nevermind rich and famous. The parties are worth checking out. anyway. Even if nobody interesting shows up. you can always use a beer when it's 90 degrees in the shade. And somehow the cafeteria hot dogs and hamburgers taste better in the open air. Hi LABS Labs can make total strangers become dear friends or sworn ene- mies. Hurry up, dammit, I want to go home today. Shake up that test tube, not with your finger, you nurd. What did you put for number 4? Sucrose? I thought sucrose wasn't supposed to change. I knew I should have washed these things out. LECTURES The best thing about lectures is that as long as they're going on, you know you’re safe from a pop quiz. But watch it when the prof asks. Are there any questions? Don't worry about trying to sound intelligent. Ask him anything — how old are his kids — his dog's name — anything — just keep him talking until twenty after, and you’re home free. LEISURE Actually, the surf is never really up at Clearwater Beach. But there are com- pensations: tanned beauties, fresh salt air, soft moonlit nights, discos, a stroll along the . . . oh, oh. what about that term paper due yesterday, notes to write up. an oral report, that big soc test? Oh, well, they can wait. After all, you can learn more soc on the beach than you could ever get out of a dumb old text book anyway. LIBRARY They say Merl Kelce Library on the riverfront is the heartbeat of the aca- demic community. But all those hearts must palpitate through its portals dur- ing the wee hours disguised as clean- ing people. Doesn’t matter when you 27 m
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