University School of Milwaukee - Trident Yearbook (Milwaukee, WI)

Page 30 text:

Twenty-four THE ACADEMY hands) Aye, {pronounced ol) Sir. To relieve them of all baginess at the knees ; for the Amalgamated Promenade for Altruistic Terpischorean Plumbers. {Both turn their gaze upon Micheal Angelo, who can be seen in the distance, walking backrvards in the sand, in order to keep anyone from following him and getting there first. He, also, has a quest in life.) W. W. : Poor Mike! He has apart- ment hunter ' s disease. Neptune: What ' s that? W. W. Flat feet. {Pause to let audience laugh this off and for Will to retire remorsefully.) {First Verse cannot go on.) Worse yet begins. {I.ors Lori and Lord Corduroy occu- py the center of the stage. Around the camp-fire are draped Neptune ' s daugh- ters, {Daughters of Neptune) ivist fully hearkening to the pop-popping of the wienies. It ' s a pretty love scene. At a scream from the Neptune sisters the Drummer, clothed in a huge zvindow sash, stealthily enters without even ring- ing the door-bell). Drummer : Hush, and I will drum you a drummet so drummy as to seem a dromedary ! Neptune Sisters: {Not finding a kick in this) Oh, kind Sir, won ' t you dance for us? {The Drummer dances but the win- dow sash slips to the ground). Act HI {Still Verse). {The scene returns to IV. U ' hifflepoot vid his search. He has found something — a huge flat stone. Will he find happi- ness beneath it ' His chest rises and falls like the chests of movie men, or like a tire. By main strength he pries the stone azvay and tosses it into the sea. He looks — he breathes. Instead of happiness he has unearthed a mass of millions of dead, decaying, clams and fish.) {Curtain falls zvith a crash, leaving the audience smell-bound.)

Page 29 text:

THE ACADEMY Twenty-three citement he goez to a bull fite, and watches a guy chase a bull until the bull chases the guy. This getz the Spanyard so excited that in order to kool down he eetz a dozen hot tomaleyz and if that don ' t kool him enuq he eetz a bucket full of chilly kun Karney. Spanyards wave red a grate deel show- ing they ain ' t afraid of no bulls, but you kan ' t judge a man by the kloze he wavez. After you study Spannish three hours a day for 3 years it generally kumz eezy for you, prooving that you oughten to get impayshunt if you don ' t lern it in 50 years. Payschunce winz everything be- cawz you kan make a Ford run if you wait for a cyclone. (I thank you for your attenshun.) A Sea Shore Skit. by William Bunk Verse the First Characters Neptune. Will Whifflepool {A Trickster). Little Lord Corduroy. Micheal Angelo {A Beach Comber). Will Mussup {A Plumber). Garibaldi. His Brother Gariindiana. Station Agent. A Drummer. Saragossa {A Servant of Neptune). Others. Neptune ' s Daughters {Daughters of Neptune). Lors Lori (Clandestinely related to Laurelei) . A Downer Girl. Clams, Fish, Stage properties and scenery. {Scene is laid in Paradise Gap. A hen is heard cackling nearby). {Editor ' s note: Real water should not be used. If possible, allozv the actors to mingle zvith the audience, so that enough will be mist to give a watery appearance to tHe eyes of the onlookers.) {Curtain rises reluctantly revealing Will Whifflepool looking thru an empty coca-cola bottle, searching for happi- ness.) W. Whifflepool: (Clairvoyantly) Here is the place, here shall I find it. Micheal Angelo: (Coming in and go- ing out) What makes the ocean roar? (3:10 bell rings at Doinier, and the Dozvner girl shinnies dozen the rain pipe raucously humming School Days. ) (Exit ' ] nil Whifflepool.) (Action begins) (Neptune appears abruptly) Neptune : Damn that servant ! I in- structed him to come to me, when he heard the bell-buoy ringing, and say, My Lord, what will ' st thou? Instead, he comes and says, My God! ' hadya want now? (Enter Will Mussup zvcaring his trou- sers zvrong side out.) Neptune: (Nastily) Dunce, your trou- sers are turned. Mr. Mussup: (Saluting zvith both

Page 31 text:

m mmm