University of San Francisco - USF Don Yearbook (San Francisco, CA)

Page 16 text:

14 TIIE IG X AT I AS than Luxor himself; no one know less what he was going to say. or who the bad man was whose deeds he had singled out for the edification of his hearers. 11 is eyes wandered in helpless dismay over the fear depicted in many a countenance, and, perhaps he noted that more than one hand began to slide shoeward. Hut, lest by some mischance the voice should fail of recognition, the candid radio took upon itself the dispelling of all doubt, for the words came clearly: “Haw! Haw! Haw! Der ye know who Ah am? Luxor, Luxor, Late ob Alabam.” The author now was beyond dispute. Who-------? The radio supplied the answer. A sigh of relief circled the throng. ‘‘Ah’m gwine ter make a clean breast ob ma life,” it shrilled. “Ah’m der bad man, Luxor Dawes, an Ah’m proud ob it.” Husbands could again look into their wives’ eyes confidingly; lovers into their sweethearts’. They hastened to do so. Then all eyes were centered on Luxor as a focus. Ears were tingling for “the clean breast.” Not so, Luxor. The bad man on the radio and the bad man in reality were anything but sympathetic. “Stop dat machine,” he yelled to Epsom. “Stop dat machine or Ah’ll cut yo gizzud out.” Reproachful glances met him on all sides. Euclid tried to quiet him. He rudely repulsed her. The story of the bad boy leading up to the bad man had already begun. The audience was irritated at the interruption. “Ef Mist ah Dawes,” said a white-headed auditor rising, “will jess close dat mouf of his’n, we kin heah him bettar.” Whatever we may think of the consistency of the expression, the meaning was plain to the audience: A wire- less Luxor was not to be interrupted by a Luxor in the flesh. “Mistah Dawes hisself pussonallv,” said another politely rising, “Mistah Dawes hisself pussonally insisted on ma presence heah dis cbening. Ah hopes Mistah Dawes will reconsider his eonduck.”

Page 15 text:

SOLVED BY BAD 10 13 •ration has never arrived at perfect certainty. Perhaps Kuclid herself didn't really know, and if she didn't, how can we? Hut what everybody did know was that she used, to the best advantage, the attentions showered on her by Luxor, as she allowed her eyes guilelessly to wander from face to face to catch here and there gleams of jealousy where something more positive and lasting could not be concealed. Strangely enough, Kpsom, who ought to be most concerned, who was indeed known to be most concerned, seemed to see nothing, and grinned in childish pleasure. 11 is audience secretly sympathized with his simplicity, and. as a sort of compensation, applauded louder. The radio was a bit hoarse, to say the least, but so were the voices of those who hummed an accompaniment to the popular airs. When it stopped and sputtered in the middle of a piece, it interfered rather rudely with the rhythm of their clapping or the pulsing of their feet. But when it started again they good-naturedly fell in and kept time with the measure. Living like sardines they enjoyed themselves like sardines, and, having paid nothing for their pleasure, the end of the entertainment alone could induce them to depart. They had become, however, a little listless during a classical rendition in which the wireless had seemed to sense its inappropriateness to the occasion, and had frequently broken down in consequence; but now it seemed to pull itself together as it sang out sonorously ‘‘The Life of a Bad Man.” Had all the company been in a circle with hands joined, and had a strong electric current darted through the circuit, the effect could not have been more startling. For a moment the windows and the door let in a breath of fresh air as troubled consciences sought the background; and those who were inside, and who, on account of the jam, could not even move, after a brief gasp, gazed in anguish from the instrument to Luxor and from Luxor to the instrument. Was he speaking, or was it the radio, or he speaking through the radio? The voice was his. Vet no one was more surprised

Page 17 text:

SOLVED BY RADIO 15 The feelings of those present towards Luxor were now anything but favorable. They had caught only individual words, “chickens.” “rabbits,” “dawg,” but they could easily supply the rest. “Cotched,” Ah! that was really bad; “Cotched agin;” amazement at his wickedness spread over their faces; “cotched a third time.” Alas! from early years he was surely headed for perdition. “An now Ah leabs de inncrcence ob ma childhood—“spoke the radio Luxor brazenly. But it seemed as if other forces were entering to prevent the cleaning of Luxor’s breast. “Ila! Ha! Ha! I’ve got the goods on you this time, Luxor,” shouted the wireless, “that bill you---” The scandalized machine stopped, but all had recognized the voice. It was the sheriff’s. Euclid fainted, women shrieked, pandemonium reigned. The crowd shrank from Luxor and he disappeared into the night. Epsom in a moment was at the side of Euclid. Her eyes, on opening, would gaze up into his. She would read his yearning there and murmur “yes.” She would ever think of the radio as her savior, and would never know that Luxor had never dreamed of clearing his breast through it, but that a clever impersonator bribed by Epsom, had—well—we allow the veil of charity to draw its sheltering folds around Epsom ’s conscience.