University of Rhode Island - Renaissance / Grist Yearbook (Kingston, RI)

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THE GRIST ■§€ John Ira Hardy In theTfall of 1907 when our class had attained the dignified(?) positionloffSophomores, a new face appeared in our midst. The fame of Dr. Leighton and the chemistry course had penetrated far into the wilds of Massachusetts and attracted hither this innocent, who bore the impressive name of John Ira Hardy. With characteristic good sense he at once joined the class of 1910 and never again did we go astray for lack of good advice. We call John our virtuous member, although he has learned not to carry virtue to extremes. Groveland is the particular spot in the northern wilderness where he originated, and there he spent his early life, breathing the puritanical air of that region. Finally the Groveland High School honored him with its diploma, and then little John ventured out into the wide, wicked world. His first stop was at “the city, where he devoted a summer to reforming the Bostonians, and learning machine work at Tech. After becoming an expert in this latter oc- cupation, he transferred the scene of his activities to the shops of Fitchburg, and later, Lynn. It was only for a short time, however, and then a longing for the aroma of the chemical laboratorj’’ and an ambition to smash test tubes, turned his steps toward Kingston and civilization. Upon his arrival at Davis Hall, John immediately made inquiries about V. M. C. A., and followed them up so industriously that he is now president of the association. It was V. M. C. A. business, John solemnly swears, that took him to Peace Dale so regularly last fall, but the wicked cynics would grin. It is altogether certain, however, that Fall River has for him a strange attraction, not connected with the V. M. C. A., although some one has suggested that she might belong to the Y. W. C. U. In spite of this affair, John was smitten with a peculiar disease in his Junior year. He grew absent-minded and preoccupied, and was often seen sitting by the window, gazing longingly up the path toward the village, and whistling a little tune about Dixie land. After the military ball, however, a wonderful improvement set in, and now John declares himself quite “unsophisticated.” This same year John donned a football suit with many misgivings as to whether or not he could make the second team. It soon developed, though, that he was a most strenuous Christian, and he very efficiently performed the grim duties of left tackle throughout the season, and at its close, was awarded his R. I. When John graduates, he intends to take advanced work at a large university, and then attack the chemical problems of the modern manufacturer. We may therefore infer that said problems stand in a most perilous situation. 30

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THE GRIST Harold Arnold Easterbrooks Where, when, and exactly how it happened, we don’t know, but anyway it came about that “Biff ” appeared one pleasant sunny morning in Bristol many years ago; and following the custom of the Herreshoffs, he was launched into the troubles of life with a bottle. “Biff’s” inborn genius early became apparent, and in his innate desire to satisfy his “hankerings” for science, he used to frequent the seashore and look for crabs, lobsters, and other interesting examples of marine life. His interesting research work along these lines will soon be made public in a bulletin entitled, “Wild Lobsters I Have Known, their Haunts and How to Get ’em. ’ ’ “ Biff’s” interest in such tilings, however, faded in a marked degree when he reached the high-school age and simultaneously the long-pants era. to be surely but slowly superseded by a fondness for the gentler sex, which he fostered till he was specializing in the latter subject. Although he came home each evening with high marks in this specialty , it was thought by larger and wiser heads that a change of scenery was desirable. He was accordingly shipped to Washington, I). C., where he completed his high-school course and graduated with attendant honors. From here he went back to Bristol to bone up for entrance at R. I. C. and spruce up in his high-school specialty. When “Biff” reached R. I. C.. he experienced a change in name without the customary bottle, and was disappointed, being hailed as “Helen” without the Miss in front. “Biff” was recognized as a decorator by his grass-grown countenance, which has resulted in a large number of dull razors in the dormitory. The latest heard from him shows that he again yearns or a “specialty” to study; accordingly he has been trying to find a substitute for Good Ale in Westerly. He has found both the much looked for substitute for ale as well as Good Ale, and seems to be doing well in the new industry, both at Kingston and Westerly. “Biff” is now making good in biology and zoology in a way that assures us that he will be the “ Bugologist ” of MC3VIX, and necessarily a successful one. As a further reference on the life of “Biff.” we would refer by special permission to “In Old Narragansett ” (Pier).

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THE GRIST Bertha Bertha May Heath Way back in the eighties, this genius added her shining light to the world, and from that time on, the world has profited by her presence. She received her grammar and high-schOol education at Lunenburg, and there, she firmly asserts, she was always at the foot of her class; but her work here belies her, for she is the star of her class in chemistry and horticulture. Bertha is very fond of athletics. She was manager of the girl’s basketball team this year, and has been elected captain for next. It is to be feared, however, that her ambitions along this line are not restricted to the gymnasium, but are of a changeable nature. Sometimes the sky seems to be her goal and again the solid ground: but whichever it may be, she gets there just the same, even if she has to use ropes and fire escapes. It is said that a certain tree near the Watson House will bear the impressions made bv Bertha’s shoes for some time to come. Bertha’s one great aim is to make a noise and to keep in per- petual motion: so once upon a time, she produced a melody from a tin pan under a window and — I wonder what one of the members of the faculty meant, when she said: “Bertha, you are not a Christian.’’ These misdemeanors, however, are things of the past, for she has arrived at the dignity becoming a Junior; she no longer jumps down steps two at a time, but goes canoeing, and walks about the campus with M — y, a privilege which no other girl of R. I. C. has ever had or ever hopes to have. Bertha’s good humor and generous nature make her very accept- able as a friend, and during her college course she has gained many. We all expect to visit her farm some day ; and if we can find no other occupation, perhaps she will give us a position in her corn field. 31