University of Pittsburgh School of Medicine - Hippocratean Yearbook (Pittsburgh, PA)

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HUMORESQUE OF ' 53 It was on a bright Sci tL-mhcr 12. 1949, when llic AMA was swinwiiii; mundhousc rights, against formidable low-blow punchers in its fisjht for life, and Korea was only a dirty Asiatic peninsuLi beyond out perimeter of defense, that those original onc- hundred huffed and puffed, or (the lucky ones) rode up in their chariots to Pennsylvania Hall, feeling confident that they would spend the next four years on Mount Olympus sippmg ambrosia, for — the worst was really over; we were in; we were med students. (How things changed six weeks later after that first .matomy test. Who ever would have thought they would ask about that darn fa. cia?) Our first day was given over to introductions, first to Dr. Hookers memorable third floor lab. (All of us were consider.ibly greener after that fir.st iiurried trip through it). Anatomy was our first acqu.untancc. and when Dr. Hooker ' s .stentorian voice first gently drifted off the platform we thought the cadavers arose, but riglit from the start he endeared him.self to all of us. He told us to work hard and not to worry; everyone had the ability we had been .selected to be graduated, not to be failed. Myth number one went up in smoke! After lunch we trooped to WPI to be wafted to sleep by the first breezes in what became a four-year gas attack. Introduction to chemistry rounded out the day. Despite its .seemingly endless grind, .in.itoniy rc.dly h.id m.uiy famous chuckles. Who can forget tho.se famous interviews after each unit? Everyone always was Doing all right, despite a 3()-minute session. Dr. Priman has a charm all his own, exemplified by the time he was asked what the test questions would be, and he meekly shrugged his shoulders, pointed to Dr. Hooker ' s office and said, Only he knows. Dr. Donaldson ' s gadgets are renown; he is the only man who ever demonstrated the embryology of the che.st with cardboard boxes — but everything fitted in ju.st the right places. His wit is enviable — viz. his characterizing a certain streetcar as A Street- car Named Per.spire. But our cl.iss was too much for him once — he had to prohibit photographing of pig-embryo slides ,ifter we left. It bec.ime too much of a reprint racket. All of us remember the day when Ray Peters put up th.it multicolored drawing ,so remini.scent of those we would see the next year and had Dr. Hooker befuddled enough to a.sk Dr. Humphrey if it were hers. But the incident that none ever can forget was Dr. Hooker ' s inside step over toe hold while he wrestled with that memoralMe multicolored sheet demonstrating embryonic intestinal rotation. The year in anatomy very a| ipropri.itch ' ended with the bone and soft tissue rat races, but we had an added attr.iction — a ship ' s bell instead of common old police whistles, and recordings of It ' s Later Than You Think and Dry Bones. Chemistry, was the other in. nor bun.len during th.it impression.ible first ye.ir. Our first lectures were given by Dr. h ' l.scher and it w.is immedi.itely apparent that no one would sleep in her lectures — so intent was the delivery and so high the decibels. Dr. Quashnock kept everyone on the b.ill with his surprise, silent stalking througli the l.ib. Experiments on ourselves were unforgettable. We won ' t order any gastric analyses without due reflection now. How many were there who had serious misgivings whether those jugs would hold a 24-hour specimen? Rut wh.it a failure was Ra - Boyian who, after collecting the hist inst.illment. dropped his in Penna. Hall! George Makd.ul mothered everyone when he was ,in assistant in chemistry .uid got his famous nick-n.ime; but he is more f.imous tor iiis rolling laugh. He is one of tho.sc rare persons who literally split his sides laughing. Bob MiUigan gets the A for laughs in chemistry though. In talking on chlorosis, he remarked tliat the affection no longer existed — .so that was wliy there were no green girls walking down the street anymore. Bacteriology was Medley ' s course, he being tlie only one Dr. Stock knew jiy n.ime. How lucky to be called on all those times! Ki.ssing those Petrie disiies might have had some restraining lesson to teach, but none of us learned it! Drs. Stock and Lacy kept each other awake with those Isn ' t that right . . . questions, but Dr. Criep fouled ever ything when he asked them a question only to be answered by z . . . z . . . Z . . . Hygiene was the List course of the freshman year, that of the rot.iry slide projectors and the follow the bouncing ball , where we went to Aspinwall Filtration Plant to really .see this Schmutzdecke about which we had heard so much. I 80 1

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81 s E N I O R S cuss OF 1953

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And then there were 93 . . . By the time sophomore ye;ir began, the cold war had become very hot, and many who never heard of it before found Korea very important. Bob Walton was called to active duty and served a week before he could wangle a deferment to finish school. But one thing was the same — Tom Gregg and George Gerneth still were late, always. Sophomore year really was the year of the big three : Physiology-Pharmacology, Neuro ' Anatomy, and Pathology. Physiology certainly didn ' t start with a bang — it was a chorus of croaks. Frogs, frogs, frogs — broken up by an occasional mammalian demon- stration. It was only a few weeks until everyone changed his brand and smoked drums. Speed writing was the order of the day when Dr. Cotter lectured. (How can he talk while sucking life savers?) When pharmacology began enthusiasm ran high (for here we were starting inti.i clinical medicine really) — until the third day when the boom fell, and the frogs returned. But they provided their share of laughs when Dr. Beck (does the microphone stay on now?) pulled his Man from Mars act with that magnifying glass while eannulating those vena cavae. The boredom was broken often by mammalian experi- ments ( 2 c.c, 1 :1000 Now! ) which all enjoyed except the doorkeeper who continually feared the Hearst boys would come charging through the door. Dr. McLain owns the laurels tor l.iughs though, for his classic remark (made unconsciously, he says) the day the marriage of Ruth Powell and Fred Kane became known — Well, today we study uterine stimulants. Neuro-anatomy oppressed us .ill F.ill in 19.M). Many were the afternoons when we emerged from the bustle lecture hall. hands limp after almost two hours of furiously changing from one colored pencil to another in futile attempts to get down those road maps along with every hamlet and whistle stop along the way. If Dr. Humphrey ' s voice holds out five more years, we ' ll be surprised. The weather man gave us all a boost getting through — the big 30-inch snow came just in time to force cancellation of final exams and we slid through! Whew! After a few weeks in pathology we wondered if wc could enjoy a meal again; many haven ' t tasted currant jelly since. Some lectures were quite amusing; remember Dr. Noregard pacing back and forth and the boys in the first row ducking the spray? Those of us with literary inclinations were entranced, . . . exfoliative, pedunculated, polypoid, disseminated, invasive, hyperchrom.itic. highly anaplastic . . . ; and those who wanted definite statements maddened, . . . usually, not infrequently, often occa- sionally, sometimes, illustrated beautifully ... Yaaagh!! Our first euphc ric moments came when, early in January, we carefully folded and placed in our coat pockets (with the ear pieces a mere four inches out) that magical instrument — our shining armor — and trotted to all points of the county to see that mysterious individual about whom we had heard and day dreamed — the patient. Patients at Leech Farm certainly weren ' t awed by us; they called us the 99 ' ers. But we were awed by Leech Farm — that next cold held all kinds of portent. (All in a lifetime). There was a certain mystery about the place too; the sco ?p on Saturday ' s quiz always came back from there! How different are places! At Vet ' s we almost felt like one of the team; at Magee we were solemnly told to use the student Entrance — always. (Merely presaged the future). Mercy, the land of the so called continually amazed us. How can anyone find his way around those catacombs? Sophomore year ended with several small courses, from Hm . . . Hm . . . Hm ... to Tongue Blade Watson Jones. In June, feeling extremely sorry for our past year of oppression, we dined with Bacchus at South Park and were regaled to several hilarious take-ofl s from Joe Liggett, Ed Jew, Mike Miklos, Dick Adler. and Ray Peters. Junior year arrived and v. ' ith )ut realizing where to turn or what to do we suddenly were thrown into that charmed and mysterious art for which we had slaved so long — clinical medicine. Everything that first week was strange — those inept questions to our first patient, the dignified and inane hm hm in physical examinations; those never- ending afternoon lectures, but strangest of all was learning to stand at attention on Thursday afternoons. (Was this part of medicine?) [81 ]