University of North Alabama - Diorama Yearbook (Florence, AL)

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if ofifhe KiJl r Sqi4irr 4S A hose little rodents are everywhere, jumping - from tree to tree, wait- ing for the right moment to streak down and bite me and give me some kind of disease, like salmonella, E.coli or ghonnaherpasyphllaids with crabs. Those squirrels are out to get us. I ' m not crazy. I know people who agree with me. One student, speaking under the condition of anonymity, told me of an attack during his freshman semester. He was just outside of Keller, walking to his next class, when he noticed a set of glowing red eyes in a garbage can. Although somewhat star- tled, the student just kept walking to class. Bad decision. When the student was in striking distance, the squirrel lunged from his foxhole (is that what it ' s called if a squir- rel is lying in it?) The rabid rodent hit all four posts of the garbage can before propelling himself towards the student at unnatural speeds, the rogue ' s teeth and claws ready to draw blood. Luckily, the student was quick enough to evade the kamikaze rodent, but only by a few millimeters He did, unfortunately, soil hi; pants. Another student in- form ed me of a fiasco during SOAR one year. She was eat- ing lunch in the amphitheatre with her SOAR group. They were all very hungry after a long morning of presentation and phone registration. She momentarily set her sandwicl down to take a drink of her soda. When she looked down her sandwich was gone. She looked around thinking that she might have had it in the other hand, and when she looked up again, saw a squir- rel dragging it off. Yet another student told me of a squirrel that inhabits North Court Street and con- tinually plans surprise attacks on unsuspecting walkers. He told of how this devilish nut- eater frequently goes for a crippling ankle bite on ran- dom mornings, usually when the student is in a hurry. Ironically, on the mornings that this student is ready to play Bop-a-squirrel, the ras- cal is nowhere in sight. — Kyle Newmar

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( WElDH ' ESP. tY, l KIH fi61H, 2C)03 SIX-LEGGED RACE. Jody Mckay, Kristy Villareal and Laura Beth Mastroianni use all their leg strength to run up and back down the intramural field in SF field games. WORD OF MOUTH. Mem- bers of the FritzPizitz band perform their showcase on Wednesday night to conclude Spring Fling activities. LEFT, RIGHT, LEFT. Work- ing hard trying to keep every- one from falling off, members of Residence Hall Association perform as a team, moving in synchronization to the other end of the field.