University of Nebraska School of Pharmacy - Yearbook (Lincoln, NE)

Page 29 text:

XJ yy xf IP LIFE ' S COMIC SIDE My dear, said the head of the house one morning, I called Jimmy four times this morning, and he didn ' t answer so I turned down the covers on his bed and gave him a good spanking. ' ' Oh, Francis, how could you? That means that I ' ll be hunting a new cook. How ' s that? Jimmy stayed over at the Smith ' s all night, and the c ook slept in his bed. CIGARS ON HANSEN One day out in South Lincoln a fellow by the name of Beams and a pal of his walked into Hansen ' s Fharmacy and said, Hansen, we have just made a bet of the cigars. We will take them now and when the bet is decided the loser will drop in and pay for them. After they had received the cigars and were walking out, Hansen asked then what the bet was. Well, said Beams, our friend Kirk bets that when Killen is elected governor sickness will be in the reach of all, and I bet it wouldn ' t. Barbara and her friend were spending spring vacation in the country, Do you know, said Barbara, that young farmer tried to kiss me. He told me that he had never kissed any girl before. What did you tell him? asked her friend. Why, replied Barbara, I told him I was no agricultural experiment station. A woman in a Christian Science testimonial meeting said that her old cat had three kittens born stone blind and after praying nine days they received their sight. SAPONIFICATION NO. 99,999 One day in class the teacher was commenting on that part of the story of Archimedes, where he leaped from his bath shouting, Eureka! Eureka! The teacher asked what Eureka meant. The little boy re- plied, Eureka means ' I have found it. ' But what had Archimedes found? The boy hesitated a moment and said, The soap, mum. Perusse had reproved his students for talking back in class. This is a class in Pharmacy, I am not conducting an afternoon tea, he remarked sarcastically. Next day Dort was late. Perusse waited until he was seated and then said, How will you have your tea, Dort? Without the lemon, replied Dort. Do you see that door ? Another word and out you go never to return ! SOME SPEECH My dear ladies, in this land of equal suffragism we are going to carry the vote to every state. Let the Antis beware, for the members of the Cause are noted for their beauty, their versatility, their conceit and their humor. France had her Joan of Arc, England has her Pankhurst, and I say we have our Pinkham. My heart is in this cause, and I must pause until it comes back to me. — Russel Kirk David. (Podunk Journal.) 27 s

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A bacillus grasped a germ by the waist, And they did a toxin fling. While a plump, little animalculus Played a creepy, woozy thing. The lights burned low and the heavy breath From the censor covered all, For the dance they danced was the mortuary hug, At the pharmaceutical ball. Microbes in the kiss, you say? Right you are, my boy ; Little germs of purest bliss, Bacilli of joy. — Guy L. Waite. Wonder what kind of liquid they will use to christen the new battle- ships with now — Sarsaparilla? What was the matter with that fellow, Doctor? ' ' Nothing. Did you tell him so? Well, yes, in Latin. Howard says that Quassia has a helva taste. Detrick says the girls are like his sister, they are always picking at him. (TOOK Josie.) Found — After the Formal, Martin Chittick kissing a ten-dollar bill good-bye. CRADLE SONG OF THE MODERN BABY Hush-a-bye, baby, thy cradle is green, Mother ' s a Ph. I)., father ' s a dean ; Sister ' s a suffragist making a noise; And brother makes bombs for the anarchist boys. — (From Judge.) A clipping taken from a Lincoln paper just after the Phar. Society, had been organized. Evidently this sign was misinterpreted: Pill- rollers meet in U. 4, Friday, May 3, 4 : 30 p. m., important. This an- nouncement was posted on the door of one of the rooms in University hall at the state university this morning, by whom no one seems to know. Cigarette smoking is not allowed on the campus, so that such an organ- ization as ' pill-rollers ' would hardly dare to meet in any of the buildings. Perhaps they will only meet to try to get the authorities to rescind their order of no smoking. Whether or not they will indulge in a few puffs this afternoon remains to be seen. Mrs. Howard — You want to remember I refused you the first time you proposed. Howard — Yes, I remember you suspended sentence. 29