University of Nebraska College of Law - Yearbook (Lincoln, NE)

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PROPHECY 53 IW E Brown will make a good driver for a dray. His voice is harsh and grating, and if it fails to get action out of a pair of ossified sorrel mules, everything will fail. During the past year the professors have frequently cautioned Brown against his vociferousness in class. It would be a grievous wrong should so noisy a human being be forced into the quiet of a law oftice. Carr.-The obscurity of the pastorate of some country church yearns for Carr. His benevolent expression and his bald head would be out of place in halls of justice. As a coun- try preacher he can listen to the troubles of old women and the fconiidences of young men. He can officiate at weddings and christenings and shed pearls of wisdom along life's highway. lfVould that I had Carr's future before me. Ciceigft will make a nice waiter for a summer hotel. He has an 'erect bearing that fits him for carrying trays, and his sweet ways will be very efficacious in coaxing tips from the pockets of opu- lent guests. The law hates to lose him, but the summer hotel is -deserving of something good, and it will get that something when it gets Creigh., I UOZcmfm will travel with a circus as Signer Garanello, the Iron Jawed Manf' He has overworked his jaw to such an ex- tent that 0'reat ridfres of muscle cover his lower maxillary. D ED 4' Dad H will look very pretty in red tights. People should travel miles and miles on horseback and on foot to see him. Flaherty has a fortune before him as a vender of Brazilian 'corn salve and Japanese headache cure. His unusual flow of lan- guage his adamantine gall, and his rotund countenance will win U aa 1 him immediate success in any community where he shows his remedies. Gl90CZl7,'f37'lS111l1Cl1 too honest to join the wranglers who iniiict the bench and bar, He will doubtless become an evangelist. His smooth shaven face, his gold-bowed glasses, and his general air of sincerity will make him a power in calling sinners to repent- ancc. He should lill the front benches nightly. Gfaffex.-A man who can predict anything of Gates will have to be a seventh son of a seventh son. Jesse shows such unusual taste and so many freaks of disposition that I acknowledge my- self hafllcd when I try to outline his future. For instance, he

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Dvolvhecu The sagacious prophet founds his revelation upon carefully considered judgment. He may pretend that he derives inspira- tion and information from supernatural sources, but all his pre- tences are so thin that a man with a hoodwink over his eyes can see through them. I have never been specially favored of the gods, because the gods evidently donlt consider that I am H their class of people. I possess no gift of second sight. I have only limited faculties, and they are all required to keep me out of the county jail and the insane asylum. I never look into magic- mirfcfsg because I looked into an ordinary mirror once and the sight I beheld ,gave me lung disease. I have never stopped Father Time in a dark alley and asked him to divulge his secrets. He will overtake all of us soon enough anyway, and I can see no- good to be obtained by following him about. The little forecasts given here are based upon my acquaintance with the individuals for whom they have been prepared. Every person shows certain traits, certain inclinations, and certain tastes and desires, which indicate the path he will tread. I have founded the opinions, which I here give to the world, upon a care- ful and prolonged! study of the leading characteristics of my classmates. Abbott will never make a lawyer. He is too neat and doesn't talk enough. He will find his niche in life as proprietor of a steam laundry. In that business he Will be able to turn out nice white clothes, and between deliveries he can sit at a mahogany desk and quietly consider the prices charged for renovating pillow shams and socks. Babcock is too much of a gentleman to follow the legal profes- sion. The profession of iioor-walker in a millinery store will claim him as its own. His soothing voice will come into excel- lent use in an emporioum where the fair sex congregate. I

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54 THE DIGEST wore an 'tice cream suit all winter and now, that summer is here, he has appeared in an outfit of black. lVhat can one say of a man who acts like that? Gojl-A good many famous people have already come out of Nebraska, and many more celebrities will go out from this state in the future. Miss Goff will be one of them. There is no ques- tion as to her succeeding Susan B. Anthony as national presi- dent of the W. A. W. S. A., when Susan finally lays down this lifels burdens. Greevtjield will make a good newspaper editor. His unlimited capacity for prevarication and his cheerful optimism under all circumstances will make him an ideal occupant of the editorial tripod. ' Gustfkn. will be satisfied with nothing less than a United States- distriot attorneyship. His keen legal insight will stand him in good stead in the important battles he will be compelled to wage. for Uncle Samuel. ' Green ought to make a good plasterer or hod carrier. He has tried everything else and failed and he ought to succeed at something. . y n Hassle? is designed for the impecunious father of a large family. He is just the kind of a mild mannered man who always has a. crowd of ragged youngsters clinging to his coat-tails and no bread with which to feed them. This is rather a gloomy prog- nostication for Hassler but it is the best I can do for him. Hilclretfa will develop into a botanist. His gentle ways ought to make him 'a great favorite with the flora of this whirling sphere. His glasses, his nicely brushed clothes, his unostenta- tious manners, all show him to be a lover of nature. He does- violence to his tastes when he studies law. lhywcawl will make an exceptional baggage smasher. He is big and brawny and strong. He is able to pickup a trunk, bring it down on a depot platform and send its contents careening down Nebraska's playful zephyrs. I cannot understand why a young Hercules like Hayward persists in studying law. Jones will doubtless drift back into the business he left when he entered the law school, that of train boy on a through freight.