University of Nebraska College of Law - Yearbook (Lincoln, NE)

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Dvolvhecu The sagacious prophet founds his revelation upon carefully considered judgment. He may pretend that he derives inspira- tion and information from supernatural sources, but all his pre- tences are so thin that a man with a hoodwink over his eyes can see through them. I have never been specially favored of the gods, because the gods evidently donlt consider that I am H their class of people. I possess no gift of second sight. I have only limited faculties, and they are all required to keep me out of the county jail and the insane asylum. I never look into magic- mirfcfsg because I looked into an ordinary mirror once and the sight I beheld ,gave me lung disease. I have never stopped Father Time in a dark alley and asked him to divulge his secrets. He will overtake all of us soon enough anyway, and I can see no- good to be obtained by following him about. The little forecasts given here are based upon my acquaintance with the individuals for whom they have been prepared. Every person shows certain traits, certain inclinations, and certain tastes and desires, which indicate the path he will tread. I have founded the opinions, which I here give to the world, upon a care- ful and prolonged! study of the leading characteristics of my classmates. Abbott will never make a lawyer. He is too neat and doesn't talk enough. He will find his niche in life as proprietor of a steam laundry. In that business he Will be able to turn out nice white clothes, and between deliveries he can sit at a mahogany desk and quietly consider the prices charged for renovating pillow shams and socks. Babcock is too much of a gentleman to follow the legal profes- sion. The profession of iioor-walker in a millinery store will claim him as its own. His soothing voice will come into excel- lent use in an emporioum where the fair sex congregate. I

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ONE THING AND ANOTHER 51 Mr. Placek achieved renown as the greatest humorist. It seemed to be spontaneous with him. The C' good Deanf' desir- ing to draw from him the idea of relationship by blood, and Mr ' Placek being rather refractory, asked him what it was that sup- ported the body and ramified the very extremities from the crown of his head to the soles of his feet. Placek, equal to the emergency, responded L' bones? Sid WVhite was a mixture in equal parts of Dave Hill and Tom Platt. He carried with him a melliiiuous horse laugh which he used in all jokes. It was his chef-dloeuvre. The slightest ap- proach to humor on the part of the lecturer would be heralded by a sound like a horse fiddle at a charivari, and every one knew that Sid VVhite was encouraging the lecturer. Dr. Greene in one of his lectures, told of a certain variety of feminine hysteria which commenced with a constriction of the waist. F. EJ Brown, who seldom volunteered anything, an- nounced that he knew of just such a case here in Lincoln. He claims it is only by hearsay. Mr. Gustin is far from being conservative and sought to be- come famous by his innovations in procedure, in which he had no 'small body of followers. Having learned in common law plead- ing what a departure is, he sought to introduce a new form into equity. It was a departure in the nature of an exit by the win- dow. This was overruled by the court as being in the nature of a surprise. Mr. True was once asked what was the difference between a general and a special demurrer. His response was, Ult differs only in the wordsfl He claimed this result was reached by his mathematical mind after long hours of study. lVe all had our failings upon one occasion when we unani- mously asserted that under the enlightened practice of the United States it was not only lawful, but it was highly advan- tageous for a man to marry his widoW's sister-provided she would have him. L07NIl'fH7.1lf1:f6 Zcgtzfs vzcminem ewcusfct. If any of us succeed in be- ing admitted to the bar it will be because the maxim has failed and ignorance of the law has excused ns.

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PROPHECY 53 IW E Brown will make a good driver for a dray. His voice is harsh and grating, and if it fails to get action out of a pair of ossified sorrel mules, everything will fail. During the past year the professors have frequently cautioned Brown against his vociferousness in class. It would be a grievous wrong should so noisy a human being be forced into the quiet of a law oftice. Carr.-The obscurity of the pastorate of some country church yearns for Carr. His benevolent expression and his bald head would be out of place in halls of justice. As a coun- try preacher he can listen to the troubles of old women and the fconiidences of young men. He can officiate at weddings and christenings and shed pearls of wisdom along life's highway. lfVould that I had Carr's future before me. Ciceigft will make a nice waiter for a summer hotel. He has an 'erect bearing that fits him for carrying trays, and his sweet ways will be very efficacious in coaxing tips from the pockets of opu- lent guests. The law hates to lose him, but the summer hotel is -deserving of something good, and it will get that something when it gets Creigh., I UOZcmfm will travel with a circus as Signer Garanello, the Iron Jawed Manf' He has overworked his jaw to such an ex- tent that 0'reat ridfres of muscle cover his lower maxillary. D ED 4' Dad H will look very pretty in red tights. People should travel miles and miles on horseback and on foot to see him. Flaherty has a fortune before him as a vender of Brazilian 'corn salve and Japanese headache cure. His unusual flow of lan- guage his adamantine gall, and his rotund countenance will win U aa 1 him immediate success in any community where he shows his remedies. Gl90CZl7,'f37'lS111l1Cl1 too honest to join the wranglers who iniiict the bench and bar, He will doubtless become an evangelist. His smooth shaven face, his gold-bowed glasses, and his general air of sincerity will make him a power in calling sinners to repent- ancc. He should lill the front benches nightly. Gfaffex.-A man who can predict anything of Gates will have to be a seventh son of a seventh son. Jesse shows such unusual taste and so many freaks of disposition that I acknowledge my- self hafllcd when I try to outline his future. For instance, he