University of Missouri at Kansas City School of Dentistry - Bushwacker Yearbook (Kansas City, MO)

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'THE PATlENT'S ODE TO DENTlSTRY ' Dear Doctor, We, the patients, do feel some disdain For those professional pushcrs of novacaine. We show almost no respect For those who do nothing but detect Those little soft spaces In the most inconvenient places. We, Mr., Mrs., Miss, and Ms., never thrill While you drill at will to fill the nil. Need you ask, Why no glory? When most things you do are so bloody gory? And why, really, should you expect to rate When all we ever here is, Now, expectoratef' We come in fear We leave in pain And still a friendship you try to claim. But Doctor, the only time we become resentive ls when your dentistry becomes more than preventive! We don't know what to do when pearlies protrude Or even what to do if they malocclude. We'll never know how to till a cavity space Or even how to band a brace. We find no other knowledge as banal As the dentist's knowledge of a root canal. There is no other banter quite as trite As the conversation abour canines left and right. We find our mouths wet and boring, forsooth What can anyone find interesting about a tooth? Doctor, even for your professional fee Dentists we would never be! Because, there must be that certain chemistry For one to be in dentistry. There is a unique trait found characteristically In every dentist that we see: For one to be a dentist One must be non compos mentis. A dentist indeed is a rara avis And from this tortuous trade. . .God save us! This poem is dedicated to those who must practice or perish Who never know their polishing, probing, pulling is to most nightmarish' To all, fair warning, one day you'll meet your doom And all be confined in an operatory room. We'll tie you up with dental tloss And for all your strength you'll still be at a loss Because, the more you try,to fight us The more we'l1 calm you down with nitrous. And to complete this devilish dentocide We'll gag you all on cola flouride. Then the least of your worries will be taxes and inflation POWER TO A CARIES NATION ' When the revolution comes .....,. 1, of unsound mind 2. rare bird, unusual thing x.J

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Tl lE CLDVVIXI CQIEQ IQ!! lm uNlvERsi v 'os MISSCMJRI- ANSAS A cwv VOL- III SCHOOL OF DENTISTRY NUMBER 42 February 31, 1975 LOST: One Denar Articulator left in East Lab. Contact Al Ginate, messag light 4007. FOR SALE: One Denar Articulator, slightly used. Comes complete with den wax in. If interested contact message light 4008. THE FOLLOWING BOOKS have now arrived in the library: uIt's All In The Packetu by Dr. Henry Musselman. uHow to Be Famous Without Tryingu by Dr. e tur Howard Johnson. nNew Techniques in Preventing Gaggingn by Linda Lovelace. uCadavers I Have Knownn by Erla Steuerwald. STAFF SERVICE CLUB WINNER has been determined for the Foster Grants nCool Rayn sunglasses. Will Dr. Vernon Fricke please report to the registrar's office to pick up his prize. THERE WILL BE AN ENRICHMENT COURSE sponsored by the Gunner's Club Sunday morning at 7:00 A.M. Tie and clinic jacket required. Lecture to be give New Technique in Brown-nosing for PEG's offered by Dr. Kilpatrick. ATTENTION - LOST: Anyone finding a used cuttle fish disk, lost on Wednes the 10th around Module 4, please contact Danny Temres, message light 4307 JOB OPENING: Translator for the histology and physiology departments. M be multilingual. Language areas should include: Arabic, Chinese, Burmes and Porteguese. Working knowledge of English would be helpful but not required. HOT FOOD SERVICE is now available with two selections offered daily. NEW ADDITION TO CANTEEN: CBy popular demandl Two stomach pump Vendo machines have just been installed in the 2nd floor canteen. EFFECTIVE IMMEDIATELY: All street parking from 23rd street to 29th stree and from Troost to Main will be reserved for staff. Student parking is n available at Volker Campus at reasonable rates. Contact Dr. Schooler for reservations. JACKSON COUNTY CHECKS are now available in Dr. Schooler's office for'thos students who graduated in the Spring of 1972. FOR SALE, BARGAIN! Brand new snap-a-ray film holders. If interested contact any 4th year dental student or 2nd year dental hygiene student. ANNUAL QUAD FRATERNITY: Annual nature seminar offered tonight, bring a blanket and field glasses. Clothes optional in case of inclement weather or local overheating of the environment. Members attending may want to bring a board and a handful of nails. 11 S T11 day st t OW S G

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