University of Missouri College of Engineering - Shamrock Yearbook (Columbia, MO)

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Efiiciency to the Last Philips finally died and was being taken to his grave. Six of his fellow pro- l'e:-ssors were bearing hini to his last resting place when the coffin lid suddenly opened and Mr. Philips was heard 'i1O'1fC1J'llL1'liZ 'l'lie1'e are too many of you on this job, if you'd put a wheel under this casket you could cut out the services of tive men and do the work in half the time. The absent ininfled jewelry salesman was getting married. He was presenting' his bride to be with the ring when he hesitated. VVith this ring, said the minister. lVith this ringfl said the salesman,', we give a written guarantee, reininding the customer that money is cheerfully refuncleclf' i..l. . lflcldie Dyer, liarcl working Associate Editor, who has been forced to listen to- the radio all winter will leave for a trip to the Maine woods on or about March 21 in hopes that he will meet the writer of the Stein Song there alone. - . ON ST. PATRICK'S BALL .Beneath the lamplight's shaded glow YV moved in couples two by two, And with the musies ebb and flow She casts on me her spell. She weaves it o'ur the polished Hom- On silver slippered feet, A pattern bright, of sound and light, Into the music's beat. And she, the weaver of the spell, VVho in my heart has inacle a hell, lVill never knowg That all my world is standing still As a giant oalc on a granite hill Because l love her so. J. H. R. ihrge 73 i il l l ll l-il 'X aa 'N' ai sig maxi 5 I 3 l f -Y ag. JA. I

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nz. -?: on L-iq is 1 A. R N ia in 42 2 li Dramwefs Soliloquy ll To Drink or not to drink, that is the question: , Whether 'tis soberer in mankind to guzzlc l The Gordon gin of outrageous fortune, l Or to take alarm at denatured troubles, And by teetotaling fend them? Gro dry: to drink l No nioreg and by a drink to say we end The headache by absorbing unnatural stock l No flesh is l1eir to,-'tis a supposition , l V Devoutly to consider. To drink, to smile, To laugh, perchance to dremng ay, there's the ruh: E'en in our sleep what righteous Seth may come X To shuffle us within his unmoral coil. 1' O, grant us laws we can respect, li Nor make calamity of this one life. X For who could bear the nips of corn, what time wx The Volsteadian prong that prods man continually, l The blue nosed lobbyists who stalk their prey, The insolence of officers, and the earns These patient ferrets from the worthy takes, i VV hen we ourselves can our own booze make us from N Mash that bears no crossbones? Vllqlo would fardels hear V To shunt this fret of :1 weary strife And have no dread that something o11 our breath l May be discovered? Country for whose corn i No traveler returns, puzzles the will X And makes us rather hear those stills we have , ii Than buy of strangers that we know not of. Thus intolerance does make hypocrites of us nllg And thus the native brew of old solutions Q ls sicklied oier with the pail cast of drought, N And entertainers of great wit and moment NN With this regard-tliey live the current life, lp l' And lose not game nor action. By -IXLDEN .TACKSON M 1 From W'l1i: 73671-g' ii llg ', W l l l W fl ll i . k. Pagn 72 Qiifg if ' 'i lj ' 'l'5lbSl?mFi

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f in 1 is ia fx se- we Pflgf 74 After the Ball is Over THE TUMBLEBUCVS LAST BALL Good citizens, I beg your graceg That I may pause for hriefcst space, And relate to you in behalf of a friend, The advancing shade of a hitter end. Dame Nature gives this news in 'hand That I may herald throughout the land, And proclaim to the people of our great state The swift approach of the lLl1Il'lbIClJllg',S fate. My knowledge came in this strange wayg IVhile trudging along the road one day I stopped at the crest of a long, long hill And was idly sitting and resting my fill. My eyes they roved from side to sideg No wonder soon that they espied A weary hug beneath a tree, IVho sat and gazed direct at me. This tumhlehug sat with jealous eye, And guarded his luggage parked nearby, Neighbor, I heard this creature say, I beg of you the time of day. You're welcome, said I, Hh70l1,1'C welcome to I't's one and after and I must go . But stay, it said, and he of good cheer , I have a story I wish you to hear . The poignant appeal in the hug's brown eyes, Persuaded me not to pass him hy, So I seated myself there under a tree And I heard the dying hug's noble plea. I'n1 the last of the line of nohle hugs And my hody is weakened by constant tugs I long for cobblestoncs of another day On which it was my wont to playu. know 5 ,Q 'J -5521! if-Rfb.: