University of Missouri College of Engineering - Shamrock Yearbook (Columbia, MO)

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- - X! In an encounter with a powerful elec- tric current in the A. C. laboratory, Rob- ert Walker came out the victor. When he attempted to make a much deferred connection, the power factor was suddenly increased, the phase was split, some amperes were spilled, and the switchboard was given a black eye. Physically, Robert was uninjured, but hysterically he was upset. PFPBPX4 i The justice of the peace was just on the point of marrying a couple. Oh, before I begin, he said, I must find out your names. Marrius, said the bridegroom. Shure, said the justice of the peace, as soon as I find out your names. Marrius, said the groom. Yep, repeated the'justice, but I first must know your full name. Will U. Marrius, said the groom. No! I will be damned if I will. aaa' Hot Wad- Can't remember whether I used my Ford this morning or whether I walked all of the way to the office. X4 'If P14 Daddy Ctelling the class that they can- not multiply cows by miles and get cow- milesj- We are not nearly as hampered as we hamper ourselves by these won- derful logical processes. P14145 Hot Wad recently attended church at one of our churches on Broadway, and was seated upon a back seat between and among some gay C. C. girls. After church, he drew the usher aside and said in low tones, Say-who were those girls? I thought that they were show girls. Daddy- That scheme of education which pretends to prepare for life and eliminate drudgery is a scheme and a snare. PBPBPI4 G Lady- 'Mr. Colvin are you specializ- ing in paving? Colvin- Yes. 1 Lady- What is the chief objection to concrete pavement in this climate? Colvin- It cracks. P14 P11 PI4 - Is Charles Steinmetz guilty of Plag- iarism or is this a case of two great minds with but a single thought? Com- pare these two extracts. Extract from Steinmetz's Engineering Mathematics page 271: With the most brilliant engineering design, however, if in the numerical cal- culations of a single structural member an error is made, and its strength there- by calculated wrong, the rator of the machine flies to pieces by centrifugal forces, or the bridge collapses, and with it the reputation of the engineer. Extracts from comments made by Prof. H. Wade Hibbard on the first page of a senior electrical's blue book: Ther engineer who copies wrong or places a decimal point in the wrong place, no matter how perfect his method, is dangerous. His bridge will fall, his boiler explode, his current kill. He is useless in the profession. ' P14 PI4 PF She- Are you going to have a foot- man when you get rich? He- No. She- Why? Won't you want some- one to take you in? - T-Te- When I start home I will be all in Eighty-Six p d sa th an Io E WU ES lon ! mf js give lx l ES age, ,r ,4- gr. W 1- 4'-xv ff rj W. N N Q. ku

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- Hyde- Mr, Marsh, look in the book . ! there is some valuable information in it. Marsh- It is like getting blood out of a turnipf' if 'If if When you are passing around the flowers to the fellows who are living, be sure to leave out the poison ivy. The recipient is apt to get all swelled up. K4 '14 H4 Man can beat a woman all hollow on the tight stunt. Laces can't touch booze for results. P14 'I' if Experience may be a great teacher, but a rnan's experience with a woman seldom teaches him good sense. , if '14 14 The old blue laws were probably en- acted for the purpose of preventing men from painting towns red. P14 if V14 One young man who was highly sen- sitive about an impediment which he had in his speech went to a stammerer's institute and asked for a course of treat- ment. The professor asked him if he wanted a full or partial course. A p-p-artial c-c-oursef' To what extent would you like a par- tial course. Enough s-so that wh-when I go to a f-f-florists and ask for a c-c-hr-chry- s-s-anth Qwhistlej e-m-mum, the thing won't w-w-wilt b-b-before I g-g-get it. PE P14 V14 Strother- Foster, what are yOu doing with that American handbook? Foster- Checking up my notes on Weinie's lecture. Strother- How do they check? Foster- ,oo2' per cent difference. Eighty'-Five Hotwad- Mr. Hutchinson, please call up judge Stewart, contractor and get the depreciation on a jackass for a period of three years, which in.forma- tion will enable us to figure the effi' ciency on a 'Missouri Conveyor? . . PF P14 P14 Finlay- What are you going to do with your dam when you get it de- signed-sell it for a million dollars? Boll- No, I wouldn't give a dam for two million. . P14 P14 P14 B,urger- Why didn't you put Your name in the middle, Les? Strother- That's to show my eccen- tricityf, P14 PX4 PE Scary Williams-CSeeing C. D. Green with his new jockey capj, Hey, Green, got a stable at home? ' PX4'PI4PZ4 Ima Nut- Does your fountain pen leak like that all of the time? Soami- Oh my, no. just when I have ink in it. P14 P14 P14 I see that you have your arm in a sling, said the inquisitive passenger, Broken, isn't it? Yes, sir, responded the other pas- senger. , . Meet with an accident ? No, broke it while trying to pat my- self on the back. Great Scott! What for? For minding my own business. P14 PB PB Fred P. Hutchinson would pause dur- ing the most momentous moment of his' life to enter some sort of fruitless argu-- ment, for the pleasant pastime of exer- cising his vocal chords. i

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1916 Platt discusses ages with Burger in design class and seriously contends that he is the oldest. Platt- How old are you, Burger?', Burger- Soon be 23. Platt- Shoot! I was some punkins when I was your age. PBPBPX4 Vlfeine, Qin Generation and Distribu- tionsj-i'Tague your feedt down, Strod- der. I wandt to talgk to you and I candt see youf' The only way Weine could recognize the men that were talking Generation and Distribution last semester was by looking at their feet. That was all he saw of them during class. PX4 P14 PX1 Bug- When, Gertie goes to Chicago will Wattmeter? Knutt- I don't think that he will un- less something happens to transformer looks. G , PI4 P14 PB A cute little thing was beingshown through the locomotive works. She fpointingj- What is that thing over there? Engineer-2'Oh! That is an engine boiler. She- They boil engines! Why do they boil them? i Engineer- To make the engine ten- der. 'If H P14 Why not have the Powers That Be provide Morris chairs for the engineers to recline in during morning inspection. We are sure that they would be appre- ciated. ' - P14 P14 PI' Hortense Francis Maj01', Dean of ffhe Campus buck Brush, and who during Eighty-Seven the process of some of his experimental work incidentally built the cross walk in the rear of Academic Hall, must have designed it for the boiler room of Hell, judging from the color of the concrete and the excessive width of the expan- sion joints, crossing the Walk at about every twelve feet. if P14 my Roddy- What is the significance of -43s?', , Toad- The weight of an inch cube of water one foot high. P14 P14 P14 Student to Prof- Professor, some- thing has been worrying me, I can't iig- ure it out. Prof- Well what is it? Maybe we can solve it. ' Student- Do 'they get steel wool from a hydraulic ram? Profane silence preparatory to storm, hasty exit of student. P14 P14 P14 Student Cin General Mathj- Phase is the angle passed through before time begins to count. P14 P14 PI4 Hot Wad is the best known ineffec- tive smoke consumer and preventer in the M. E. Dept. His -theories are based on the fact that a conflagration could not possibly result from smoking in an of- fice, but can readily be the direct cause, resulting from corridor smoking, be- cause it is a university ruling. Ask Boll. 'If if 1+ Hot Wad- Mr, Hubbard, what be- comes of the energy from the bacon that I ate three days ago for breakfast, if I slide this book across the table today? Hubbard- I don't knowf' . ' Hot Wad- The energy in the bacon