University of Missouri College of Engineering - Shamrock Yearbook (Columbia, MO)

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- Hyde- Mr, Marsh, look in the book . ! there is some valuable information in it. Marsh- It is like getting blood out of a turnipf' if 'If if When you are passing around the flowers to the fellows who are living, be sure to leave out the poison ivy. The recipient is apt to get all swelled up. K4 '14 H4 Man can beat a woman all hollow on the tight stunt. Laces can't touch booze for results. P14 'I' if Experience may be a great teacher, but a rnan's experience with a woman seldom teaches him good sense. , if '14 14 The old blue laws were probably en- acted for the purpose of preventing men from painting towns red. P14 if V14 One young man who was highly sen- sitive about an impediment which he had in his speech went to a stammerer's institute and asked for a course of treat- ment. The professor asked him if he wanted a full or partial course. A p-p-artial c-c-oursef' To what extent would you like a par- tial course. Enough s-so that wh-when I go to a f-f-florists and ask for a c-c-hr-chry- s-s-anth Qwhistlej e-m-mum, the thing won't w-w-wilt b-b-before I g-g-get it. PE P14 V14 Strother- Foster, what are yOu doing with that American handbook? Foster- Checking up my notes on Weinie's lecture. Strother- How do they check? Foster- ,oo2' per cent difference. Eighty'-Five Hotwad- Mr. Hutchinson, please call up judge Stewart, contractor and get the depreciation on a jackass for a period of three years, which in.forma- tion will enable us to figure the effi' ciency on a 'Missouri Conveyor? . . PF P14 P14 Finlay- What are you going to do with your dam when you get it de- signed-sell it for a million dollars? Boll- No, I wouldn't give a dam for two million. . P14 P14 P14 B,urger- Why didn't you put Your name in the middle, Les? Strother- That's to show my eccen- tricityf, P14 PX4 PE Scary Williams-CSeeing C. D. Green with his new jockey capj, Hey, Green, got a stable at home? ' PX4'PI4PZ4 Ima Nut- Does your fountain pen leak like that all of the time? Soami- Oh my, no. just when I have ink in it. P14 P14 P14 I see that you have your arm in a sling, said the inquisitive passenger, Broken, isn't it? Yes, sir, responded the other pas- senger. , . Meet with an accident ? No, broke it while trying to pat my- self on the back. Great Scott! What for? For minding my own business. P14 PB PB Fred P. Hutchinson would pause dur- ing the most momentous moment of his' life to enter some sort of fruitless argu-- ment, for the pleasant pastime of exer- cising his vocal chords. i

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1 ' fofxs . ,- SEM ' 51183535 The door of hope swings both ways. P14 if P14 What I want, said the speaker,, is reform. I want police reform, I want so- cial reform, I want temperance reform, I want-I want- What you want, called out a lis- tener at the back of the hall, what you want is chloroform. P14 PB' PB A rather extraordinary experience was the lot of one of our esteemed en- gineer brothers, Mr. Longshore. It ap- pears that he had been keeping com- pany with one of the fair sex. Whether or not he had or has any serious inten- tions, we know. not. Some time ago there happened to be a game, the young lady wanted to see that game very much,,in fact, she had set her.dear little heart on it, and was very determined that she should not miss it, nor that he should miss it under any circumstances. Several times while strolling around the campus with her, she gave him' several hints that she wanted him to take her, but to no availg Qhe would not fall for them. Finally she became desperate and blurted out, Will you take me to the game? Please do. 'fReally, he replied, I can't, for I am broke. 'All right, came back a very weak voice. After a short time, he again met her and she gave him a dollar and a half, saying, Buy our seats. 'To be sure I willf' he exclaimed with unadulteratedjoy. ' g The day of the game was enjoyed very much by both, not so much the game, but the fact that they were to- gether. Although it is to be supposed that the young man felt 'rather like a sheep killing dog, as the young lady had made the date with him and had paid his way. Nearly a month had passed when he made a startling discovery. The young lady had given him a dollar and a half, but that only a dollar of that was her own, the other fifty cents she had' bor- rowed from another young man that she knew. P14 P14 P14 Walter had received as a birthday present a gift locomotive, the motive power of which was electricity from a storage battery. Delighted with the toy, he would have spent most of his time in its enjoyment but for the con- stant warnings that he must be careful or the batteries would run out. His Aunt Letitia was the most persistent in these admonitions and one rainy day he be- come discouraged and went upstairs to a closet in search of another toy. Aunt Letitia followed and, during the quest, kept up an uninterrupted flow of good advice to little boys. In the thick of it Walter gave up his hunt and stoically marched down stairs. I-Iis mother in- quired if he had found the toy. Q Oh, no, he replied with an audible sigh. I had to give it up, 'cause I was afraid Aunt Letitia's batteries would run out. - P14 PI4 PF G. D. Oliver- I sure got even with that girl, for I had a dance with her last night. K4 P14 PI4 Kentucky Tailor - And. the hip pockets, Colonel, what size shall I make them-pints or quarts?U Eigli ty -Four

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- - X! In an encounter with a powerful elec- tric current in the A. C. laboratory, Rob- ert Walker came out the victor. When he attempted to make a much deferred connection, the power factor was suddenly increased, the phase was split, some amperes were spilled, and the switchboard was given a black eye. Physically, Robert was uninjured, but hysterically he was upset. PFPBPX4 i The justice of the peace was just on the point of marrying a couple. Oh, before I begin, he said, I must find out your names. Marrius, said the bridegroom. Shure, said the justice of the peace, as soon as I find out your names. Marrius, said the groom. Yep, repeated the'justice, but I first must know your full name. Will U. Marrius, said the groom. No! I will be damned if I will. aaa' Hot Wad- Can't remember whether I used my Ford this morning or whether I walked all of the way to the office. X4 'If P14 Daddy Ctelling the class that they can- not multiply cows by miles and get cow- milesj- We are not nearly as hampered as we hamper ourselves by these won- derful logical processes. P14145 Hot Wad recently attended church at one of our churches on Broadway, and was seated upon a back seat between and among some gay C. C. girls. After church, he drew the usher aside and said in low tones, Say-who were those girls? I thought that they were show girls. Daddy- That scheme of education which pretends to prepare for life and eliminate drudgery is a scheme and a snare. PBPBPI4 G Lady- 'Mr. Colvin are you specializ- ing in paving? Colvin- Yes. 1 Lady- What is the chief objection to concrete pavement in this climate? Colvin- It cracks. P14 P11 PI4 - Is Charles Steinmetz guilty of Plag- iarism or is this a case of two great minds with but a single thought? Com- pare these two extracts. Extract from Steinmetz's Engineering Mathematics page 271: With the most brilliant engineering design, however, if in the numerical cal- culations of a single structural member an error is made, and its strength there- by calculated wrong, the rator of the machine flies to pieces by centrifugal forces, or the bridge collapses, and with it the reputation of the engineer. Extracts from comments made by Prof. H. Wade Hibbard on the first page of a senior electrical's blue book: Ther engineer who copies wrong or places a decimal point in the wrong place, no matter how perfect his method, is dangerous. His bridge will fall, his boiler explode, his current kill. He is useless in the profession. ' P14 PI4 PF She- Are you going to have a foot- man when you get rich? He- No. She- Why? Won't you want some- one to take you in? - T-Te- When I start home I will be all in Eighty-Six p d sa th an Io E WU ES lon ! mf js give lx l ES age, ,r ,4- gr. W 1- 4'-xv ff rj W. N N Q. ku